"Quit drinking?"
Edward felt like reality itself had become unstable.
The dragon behaving like a giant dog could at least be explained as a training issue.
But this horrifying black unicorn was apparently an alcoholic.
Actually, no.
That wasn't even the real issue anymore.
The real question was—
How exactly did Cohen encounter these things at school?
"What in Merlin's name have you been doing at Hogwarts?!" Edward finally demanded.
"Eating, sleeping, attending classes, exploring the castle, raising animals..." Cohen listed calmly. "Pretty normal first-year activities."
Then he continued confidently:
"Honestly, attending Hogwarts without doing these things is like becoming Minister for Magic and never having an affair with a subordinate. It demonstrates a severe lack of ambition and vision."
Edward's expression slowly became blank.
"Such people," Cohen continued seriously, "cannot understand the practical joy of exploration. They hide inside their common rooms living comfortable but mediocre lives, completely unable to appreciate higher pursuits. Their entire existence becomes trapped at that pathetic level forever."
"Stop insulting me," Edward interrupted immediately.
The longer he listened, the more certain he became that Cohen was describing him personally.
Later, when Cohen casually suggested Edward simply move into the trunk full-time to help care for Norbert and Ali, Edward rejected the proposal instantly.
"If I don't sleep in the bedroom at night, your mother will only arrive at one conclusion."
"That you're dead?" Cohen guessed.
"Exactly."
Cohen looked impressed.
"Wow. Mum really trusts you. I assumed she'd have two possibilities: either you're dead or you found another woman."
Edward sighed deeply.
"Both endings are basically identical."
"...Fair enough."
Although Edward refused to become free labour, he still found other ways to assist Cohen secretly.
For example—
Using unicorn hair provided by Cohen to earn money before secretly purchasing sheep, grass seeds, and supplies for the trunk ecosystem.
Soon, a proper pasture began developing inside the expanded space.
Naturally, all of these activities occurred exclusively while Rose remained at work.
The secrecy itself gave Edward a bizarre sense of excitement.
Sneaking around behind his wife's back somehow reignited the adventurous spirit of his youth.
One evening in July, after Edward finished secretly cleaning goat blood from his hands before quietly escaping Cohen's room, the Count finally voiced his observations.
"Your family is deeply strange."
He sounded genuinely fascinated.
"It feels like your father enjoys doing illegal things."
"It's pretty simple psychology," Cohen explained calmly. "Imagine you're dating a female owl at school, and she tells you not to see other owls."
The Count nodded thoughtfully.
"Then one evening Hedwig suddenly appears and asks whether you want to go flying together under the moonlight."
The Count's eyes widened instantly.
"You would absolutely agree," Cohen continued. "And while doing it, you'd constantly wonder what would happen if your girlfriend discovered the truth. That dangerous, immoral excitement—"
He clicked his tongue knowingly.
"That's basically what Edward's experiencing."
The Count immediately looked enlightened.
"Thrilling."
Then his expression darkened again.
"Unfortunately, I still don't have any female owls at school."
"You don't need them," Cohen replied wickedly. "Hedwig already exists. Morality is a human invention. You're an owl."
The Count froze.
Then revelation exploded across his face.
"Brilliant!"
"Remember to bring the eggs home afterward," Cohen reminded him kindly while the Earl prepared to leave through the window.
Finally.
The bird had been distracted.
Recently, the Earl developed alarming curiosity toward alcohol after witnessing Ali's addiction firsthand. Every evening he attempted stealing drinks from Edward whenever possible.
Edward consistently rejected him using the excuse that "birds cannot drink alcohol."
July passed painfully slowly for Harry next door.
The Dursleys still treated him horribly, although slightly less aggressively than before. They no longer dared push him too far or insult his parents openly after discovering Harry attended school alongside the Nortons.
Still, Harry remained effectively imprisoned.
The Dursleys deliberately avoided all interaction with the Nortons entirely.
Vernon especially behaved like a frightened turtle whenever wizard topics arose.
Meanwhile, July passed extremely quickly for Cohen.
Every day remained busy.
The pasture inside the trunk expanded steadily. Although the grass created through Transfiguration lacked nutritional value, the real grass planted afterward grew absurdly quickly thanks to Professor Sprout's magical fertiliser.
Even the sheep reproduction rate increased suspiciously fast.
Cohen strongly suspected something questionable existed inside the fertiliser.
Still, Norbert was eating them.
And dragons probably possessed stronger stomachs than normal creatures.
Compared to the dragon, Ali proved significantly easier to maintain.
Cohen eventually discovered she genuinely ate grass normally.
Butterbeer was merely recreational.
"Then eat grass," Cohen ordered one afternoon. "Learn to follow your instincts."
[I refuse! I want butterbeer!]
Unfortunately, Ali's rehabilitation efforts achieved absolutely no progress whatsoever.
This no longer looked like physical addiction.
It was spiritual.
Then, just as everything settled into sustainable stability—
Good news arrived.
On July 30th, Lucius Malfoy sent a house-elf carrying a letter.
"F-first, sir... your letter!"
The creature possessed enormous bat-like ears and spoke in a shrill, terrified voice.
The moment it saw Cohen, it immediately tried retreating instinctively.
Just like most house-elves.
Unfortunately, Lucius explicitly ordered the delivery.
So the elf endured its terror long enough to hand over the envelope before instantly fleeing like its soul depended on it.
Which, honestly, might not have been inaccurate.
Inside the letter, Lucius carefully discussed the upcoming "young wizard tour" scheduled for the end of summer.
Draco would also attend.
More importantly—
Lucius had bribed the organisers.
Two separate Portkeys would exist for the students to choose from, allowing Draco and Cohen to conveniently "coincidentally" travel together.
The wording throughout the letter remained extremely cautious.
If Cohen preferred ordinary travel arrangements instead, he could simply pretend the letter never existed.
Lucius also apologised once again for Draco's previous behaviour and promised additional compensation upon Cohen's arrival at Malfoy Manor.
"They really understand survival instincts," Cohen remarked while reading.
"Pureblood fence-sitters are incredible creatures."
The Count nodded proudly.
"These hairless humans aren't even stronger than me. I would never bow before your terrifying power."
"Oh?"
Cohen lowered the letter slowly.
"And how's your passionate reunion with Hedwig progressing?"
The Count immediately turned toward the moonlight outside the window.
Silence.
Absolute silence.
....
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