Chapter 2: We Were Never on the Same Side
If anyone asked when we first started "not getting along," the answer would be—since as far back as I can remember.
My house and Rawikan Sutpaisan's house were right next to each other, separated by nothing more than a low wall. Low enough for us to see each other every day. Low enough that… avoiding each other was impossible.
When we were kids, Phoraphat Thanakulwong once thought it might be nice to have a neighbor the same age. That thought didn't last long.
"Phat, you have to focus. Don't ever lose to that house."
My mother always said that, her tone far too serious for it to be a joke. Back then, I didn't understand why we had to "win."
Until one day—
"Second place?"
My father placed the test results on the table. He wasn't looking at me, but out the window instead.
Kan's house was brightly lit.
"So that house got first again, didn't they?"
I clenched the paper in my hand. The score wasn't bad at all. But it was never enough. Because the person I was compared to… was him.
The boy next door, the one I had never once had a proper conversation with.
We went to the same school, the same class, even had consecutive student numbers. It felt like fate was deliberately playing tricks on us.
"Again, Phat?"
Kan's voice came from beside me as the teacher returned our test papers. I didn't turn to look, but I knew exactly what kind of smile he had.
"You lost to me again."
"You say the same thing every time."
I replied flatly.
"Well, you did lose."
I finally turned to glare at him.
"Just this time."
Kan raised an eyebrow slightly, clearly enjoying this.
"Then don't lose next time."
It sounded like a simple sentence. But for some reason, it made me want to win—seriously.
From that moment on, we became true rivals.
Our competition wasn't just in the classroom. It was everywhere. Test scores, activities, competitions, even the praise from teachers.
"Phoraphat did well, but—"
That word "but" was always followed by his name.
"Look at Rawikan, he did even better."
I would smile and accept it, but inside, it kept getting heavier.
One day, I came home later than usual. The lights in Kan's house were still on, like always. I looked up toward the second-floor window.
And there he was.
Kan was leaning over his desk, doing homework. The soft orange light cast over him made him look… focused. So focused that I found myself staring longer than I should have.
Maybe he noticed, because he suddenly looked up. Our eyes met across just a few meters.
I quickly looked away.
I didn't know why.
He was just… my enemy.
But in that moment, Phoraphat's heart beat strangely fast.
"Big exam tomorrow, right?" my mother asked while I was studying.
"Don't forget, that house never misses."
I nodded, flipping through the pages. But my mind kept replaying the same image—Kan sitting under that warm light, quietly focused on something.
I shouldn't care.I shouldn't remember.I shouldn't feel anything at all.
But as time passed, Phoraphat began to realize that Kan was no longer just an ordinary rival.
He became something like a thin line—between wanting to win… and wanting to get closer.
And I didn't even know when it started.
Maybe… it started back then.
Back when I didn't know yet that one day—
we would become the kind of people who were…
the closer we got, the more dangerous it became.