"What do I do…"
That was Blair's first thought the next day after regaining her senses. Recalling the events of the previous day made her feel dizzy, unsure how to handle the situation.
It would have been better if nothing had come to mind at all. However, her memories remained in fragments, as if mocking her.
Running into Wesley while alone on the balcony to sober up, and Herdin appearing and striking him.
From the moment she left the balcony with Herdin, her memories became unclear.
She couldn't remember exactly what they talked about, but she remembered that he wanted her. The kisses and the physical closeness they shared.
Then, suddenly, he pulled away—and she remembered nothing after that. She couldn't recall how she even returned to the Duke's mansion.
But one thing seemed certain: she had behaved disgracefully in front of Herdin.
"I shouldn't have drunk that much yesterday…"
Blair sighed and lowered her head. Her reflection wavered in the clear bathwater.
She regretted it, but it was irreversible. It was something she had to face eventually. In that case, she had no choice but to confront it rather than avoid it.
I should face him and apologize properly.
Blair had no talent for cutting corners or pretending nothing had happened.
One thing she had learned throughout her life was that it was better to face things honestly than to try to avoid them clumsily.
Having made up her mind, Blair left the bathroom and headed to the dining room. Since it was close to noon, Herdin had already finished his meal and was working.
Blair sat alone and ate.
She wasn't a fast eater to begin with, but her pace slowed even more.
She had resolved to apologize after finishing her meal, but that didn't mean she wanted to. She was doing it because it was easier to face it head-on.
She even ate dessert—something she usually only had during teatime—before finally standing in front of Herdin's office.
Staring at the door nervously, Blair took a deep breath and knocked.
"Herdin. Do you have a moment?"
After a brief pause, the door opened instead of a reply. The one who opened it was Ruth.
"Hello, Madam."
Seeing Ruth's face, Blair realized she had forgotten it was business hours.
To think she had overlooked something so obvious, completely preoccupied with apologizing as soon as possible.
Blair felt slightly embarrassed.
"I'm sorry. I was distracted and forgot it was business hours. It's not urgent, so I'll come back this evening."
"No! It's alright. Please, go ahead."
Ruth, suddenly granted a break, smiled brightly. Just as he was about to leave, he turned back to Herdin as if remembering something.
"Oh, right. What should we do about the matter with the Marquess of Baldwin? I think it would be best to offer compensation and settle it quietly."
Blair flinched at the name Baldwin. The Marquess of Baldwin was Wesley's family.
From Ruth's words, it seemed that Wesley, who had been beaten the previous night, had stirred some trouble.
"No. Leave him alone. He deserved it."
"Wouldn't it cause more trouble if we ignore it?"
"If you stuff money in his mouth, he'll bark even louder next time."
Ruth looked dissatisfied, but a lord's command was absolute.
"I understand."
Ruth bowed slightly toward Blair and left, leaving the two alone in the office.
Blair looked at Herdin, who was leaning against the desk.
The faint scent of wood and the lingering smell of a recently extinguished cigar filled the room. It was a scent she had once loved in her past life.
As she stood there, Herdin shifted his gaze toward her.
"Fortunately, it seems you don't have a hangover."
His expression was as emotionless as ever, yet his gaze felt strangely probing. It made her feel like she was being interrogated.
Blair hesitated before speaking.
"What did the Marquess of Baldwin say about yesterday?"
"There was some noise, but nothing worth worrying about."
Herdin sounded indifferent, but Blair bit her lower lip.
Because of me…
She didn't want to become a burden to him again.
"I… showed an embarrassing side of myself yesterday. I'm sorry."
"Do you remember everything that happened?"
Blair paused.
It was embarrassing to admit she remembered—and she wasn't good at lying.
"…I remember parts of it. Meeting Lord Baldwin… and you helping me."
Instead of lying, she chose to avoid the question. But Herdin didn't let it pass.
"What happened after that?"
Blair couldn't answer. She lowered her gaze and pressed her lips together.
Watching her, Herdin straightened and stepped closer.
"What happened after that is what matters."
He spoke in a low voice as he took her hand.
"What we said. What we did."
His thumb gently stroked the inside of her wrist, as if reminding her of last night.
The place he touched burned, and at the same time, her hazy memories became vivid.
His lips brushing her wrist, his warm breath, his gaze that seemed to consume her.
And the confusion she had felt.
Seeing the change in her eyes, Herdin asked,
"You said you could do it if I wanted. Were you serious?"
He wondered if it had just been drunken nonsense.
Blair looked up at his cold blue eyes.
This man desired her. That was all.
Her past life had already taught her what it meant to mistake desire for love.
She no longer expected anything from him.
She didn't want his love anymore—and because of that, she wasn't hurt.
Unlike before, when she wanted to stay by his side forever, she was now ready to leave at any time.
But if she backed down now, wouldn't that mean she still had feelings for him?
Blair nodded slightly.
"…I'll prepare and wait tonight."
For a brief moment, Herdin's expression twisted, as if wounded.
Then he smiled—a distorted, almost angry smile.
"I want to do it now."
"Then… the bedroom—"
"No. Here."
Blair looked at him, stunned—hoping she had misunderstood.
Even in her past life, despite their many encounters, never once had it happened in his office.
Yet, as if confirming her fears, he lifted her effortlessly.
Blair blinked in shock, only coming to her senses when she was seated on the desk.
The papers and items that had been neatly arranged were now scattered across the floor.
Only then did reality sink in.
Herdin stood before her, his large frame trapping her in place, hands gripping the desk on either side.
Desire burned clearly in his eyes.
He was serious.
Blair instinctively recoiled and pushed against him as he leaned in.
"Not here. This is your office—and it's still daytime…"
"This is my office. And I want it now. Isn't that enough?"
He had talked about agreements and conditions before, as if everything depended on her choice.
But now, none of that mattered.
Herdin caught her wrist as she tried to push him away.
Her resistance only seemed to provoke him more.
It wasn't just her actions—it was everything. Her voice, her gaze, her breath.
Because last night, she had unknowingly stirred something in him.
The desire he had suppressed all night snapped tight.
"That—mmph."
Her protest was cut off as he captured her lips.
It was a firm, unmistakable refusal to listen.
Their eyes met—his cold, unreadable gaze locking onto hers.
Her breath grew uneven as he pressed closer.
Blair's body bent backward under the pressure, unable to resist.
Herdin wrapped an arm around her waist.
It looked like support—but it was a trap.
"Haa…"
By the time Blair managed to push him away, breathless, the cold air hit her skin.
Her back was exposed.
He had already undone the buttons of her dress.
Half-undressed, under the daylight.
And under his gaze that seemed to savor every detail.
Blair felt a deep, burning shame.