Chapter 13: š£š±š® š¢š²šµš®š·š¬š® ššÆš½š®š» šš®šŖšæš²š·š°
The next morning, the empty seat beside Lu Zhen stayed empty.
No quiet footsteps approached from behind.
No familiar voice said good morning.
No coffee cup appeared between them like it always had.
Nothing.
And somehowā
that silence felt louder than anything else.
ā
Lu Zhen arrived earlier than usual.
Not because he wanted to.
Because he hadn't slept.
Every time he closed his eyes, he heard the same words repeating in his head:
Stop being there.
His own voice.
Sharp.
Cold.
Cruel.
He hated how clearly he remembered it.
ā
When Lin Xu entered the classroom, he did not look toward the back row.
He simply walked in, calm as ever, and chose a seat near the front.
Far from Lu Zhen.
Far enough to make the distance undeniable.
Lu Zhen's fingers tightened slightly around his pen.
This is what he wanted.
So why did it feel wrong?
ā
The lecture passed in a blur.
For the first time in weeksā
there was no quiet presence beside him.
No one noticing when he stopped writing.
No one sliding over an extra pen.
No one there.
And Lu Zhen found himself distracted by the absence.
Again and again.
His gaze kept drifting toward the front row.
Toward Lin Xu.
Who never turned around once.
ā
At lunch, Zhou Kai dropped into the cafeteria chair across from Song Yan with unusual silence.
Song Yan noticed immediately.
"ā¦Why are you quiet?"
Zhou Kai rested his chin in one hand.
"That's a rude thing to say."
"You're usually louder."
"Maybe I'm reflecting."
Song Yan looked unconvinced.
"On what?"
Zhou Kai glanced across the room.
Toward Lu Zhen.
Sitting alone again.
Then toward Lin Xu.
Also alone.
Far apart.
Not speaking.
"ā¦Some people are exhausting," Zhou Kai muttered.
Song Yan followed his gaze.
His expression softened slightly.
"They fought."
"Obviously."
"You sound annoyed."
"I am."
"Why?"
Zhou Kai leaned back with a sigh.
"Because when people care about each other, they should just say it."
Song Yan paused.
Then quietly:
"Not everyone knows how."
Zhou Kai looked at him.
Their eyes met briefly.
Something unspoken passed between them.
Then Song Yan looked away first.
"ā¦Eat your food before it gets cold."
Zhou Kai smiled faintly.
"Bossy."
But he obeyed.
ā
That evening, rain tapped lightly against Lu Zhen's apartment window.
He sat at his desk, untouched books spread before him.
Not reading.
Not moving.
His room felt too quiet.
Too still.
He hated it.
Yetā
he couldn't stop listening for something that wasn't there.
His phone buzzed suddenly on the desk.
A message.
From an unknown number.
Three words:
Are you awake?
Lu Zhen froze.
The screen dimmed before he answered.
He stared at it for a long momentā
then locked the phone without replying.
His breathing had changed.
Shallower now.
Uneven.
His hand trembled slightly as he set the phone aside.
ā
That night, sleep came late.
And when it cameā
it came broken.
ā
Dark hallway.
Shattered glass.
A voice shouting.
Heavy footsteps.
A hand grabbing his wrist too tightly.
Pain.
Then silence.
ā
Lu Zhen woke abruptly, breath caught in his throat.
The room was dark.
His sheets twisted beneath him, damp with sweat.
For a momentā
he didn't know where he was.
Then reality returned in fragments.
Bedroom.
Apartment.
Night.
Safe.
Safe.
He pressed one hand hard against his chest, trying to steady his breathing.
But the shaking didn't stop.
Because the memory had felt too real.
Too close.
Like it had never actually left.
ā
The next day at university, Lu Zhen looked worse.
Paler.
More withdrawn.
Even Zhou Kai noticed.
"ā¦He looks terrible," Zhou Kai muttered under his breath.
Song Yan nodded once.
"He didn't sleep."
"You can tell?"
"I have eyes."
Zhou Kai smirked faintly.
"ā¦You notice more than you pretend."
Song Yan ignored him.
But his gaze lingered on Lu Zhen longer than usual.
ā
Lin Xu noticed too.
Of course he did.
But he kept his distance.
No approaching.
No asking questions.
No sitting beside him.
He respected the space Lu Zhen demanded.
Even if it clearly hurt him to do so.
And somehowā
that hurt more than if he had stayed.
ā
After class, Lu Zhen walked alone toward the campus gate.
The sky was gray again.
Always gray lately.
As he passed the university courtyardā
he slowed.
Because there, beneath the old maple treeā
Lin Xu was standing with someone else.
A female student from their literature class.
She was smiling.
Talking easily.
Lin Xu listened quietly, polite and calm.
And thenā
he smiled back.
Small.
Soft.
Natural.
Lu Zhen stopped walking.
Something sharp twisted unexpectedly in his chest.
Unfamiliar.
Immediate.
Unpleasant.
He looked away at once.
Started walking faster.
Too fast.
As if speed alone could outrun the feeling.
But the feeling stayed.
Heavy.
Hot.
Unsettling.
ā
That night, lying awake in darkness again, Lu Zhen stared at the ceiling.
And for the first timeā
he admitted something to himself he didn't want to name:
The silence Lin Xu left behind
was beginning to hurt more
than the pain Lu Zhen had spent years learning to survive.