TURNING POINT.
It was weekend. On a late morning, the sun peeked through lazy clouds as Akari walked through the bustling market, a tote bag slung over his shoulder and his hand carried a plastic bag. He wasn't in a rush, just needed a breather while shopping for groceries.
He stopped over a fruit stall, eyes skimming over ripe tangerines. While at it he realized there was a young cute little boy beside him.
The boy kept staring at him. Akari smiled at him and gave him one tangerine.
Suddenly,
"Waaaah!" the child's cry pierced.
"Hey, hey..." Akari crouched to his level. "Where is mom? I'll take you to her." He said.
The boy added the cry tone.
"O...o...okay, It's alright I'll take you to mom."
The boy then stopped crying and nodded tearfully.
"What's your name?" Akari asked, stroking the boy's hair.
"Ka...Kaari,"
"Oh! Your name is beautiful," Akari was amazed by the name. "And guess what? Our names are similar. Want to know my name?"
The boy nodded.
"Mine's Akari." Akari said joyfully.
The boy smiled joyfully.
Akari gave him a soft smile. "Okay Kaari. We'll find your parents alright?"
Holding his tiny hand, Akari walked through the market, asking vendors and scanning the crowd. At some point he bought Kaari an ice cream too.
"Kaari!" A familiar voice called behind them.
Akari froze. The voice belonged to Kian.
"Dad!" the little boy called.
And beside Kian stood a woman, elegant, warm, the boy's mother. His wife.
Kian rushed over, scooping Kaari into his arms, thanking Akari before realizing who he was looking at.
"Akari...?" Kian said dumbfounded.
Akari managed a smile. "He...hey."
There was an awkward pause, as the two looked at each other. Akari's eyes starting getting glassy. Until, Mara, the wife chipped in.
"Thank you sir for helping my son." She said with a smile.
"Oh, don't worry." Akari said with a smile.
"Akari, this is my wife Mara. Mara this is Akari, one of my collage classmates," Kian introduced to kill the tension that was between him and Akari.
Akari nodded, polite. Mara offered a kind smile as they shook hands.
"Thank you so much for helping our boy." Mara said.
Akari smiled, "No problem."
Mara turned to her husband. "I'll go get some water. Be right back."
"I'll have a little chat with an old friend. Wait for me by the parking lot when you are done." He said.
Kian smiled and nodded at her. With his eyes, he escorted her and Kaari as they disappeared.
The two, Kian and Akari then, went to a more private area. A coffee shop just nearby.
Kian took a deep breath. "I didn't expect to see you again."
Akari didn't act. He kept silent for a minute.
"Why did you lie to me?" Akari asked, face changing, head lowered.
Kian's smile faded. "Well...about that, Akari I...I'm sorry for what I did in the past."
Akari jaw clenched, "I waited for this a long time ago just to ask you why did you leave like that. Do you know how I felt back then?"
Kian lowered his head. Guilty ate him.
"I'm sorry Akari. Back then, I had no choice. I..."
"Did you..." Akari scoffed melancholic, trying to stop the tears from falling. "Were your feelings ever sincere to me?"
Kian pursed his lips. "If I say yes, will you believe me?"
Akari sniffled. "Was I that disgusting?"
"No, no, no. That's not it." He paused. He held Akari's hand. "You don't know what I have been going through ever since the day I decided to marry. Guilty became my companion since then. Everything I did, reminded me of you. No matter how I tried to brush you out of my mind. I couldn't. I...I still...I mean a part of me still needs you."
Kian caught Akari's cheek and slowly came closer attempting a kiss, but Akari backed away.
Akari smiled sadly, "Don't you think you are being unfair?"
Slowly Kian backed away.
"You had years. Years to choose me. And now that you're already settled, now, you remember what we had?"
"I never forgot."
Akari shook his head, "Then you buried it deep enough to pretend. I spent years wondering if I wasn't enough. If I was too much. If maybe...I disgusted you."
"No, don't say that. Akari, it was never about disgust. I admit I was afraid. Of...of...judgement, of being true to myself."
"Then you should have told me. You didn't have to disappear like that. You didn't have to leave me wondering. But thanks to you..." he took a deep breath "...because you taught me something."
Kian looked at him, confused.
"You taught me how to distinguish lies from love. And what you gave me. It wasn't love. It was fear dressed in affection." Akari said poking Kian on the chest.
Kian looked away, ashamed.
Akari now calm and firm continued, "Please be kind to Mara and Kaari. They deserve someone who isn't haunted by another man's name."
Kian's head shot up, eyes wide.
"Kaari...is that why you named him after me?"
Kian didn't speak. His mouth was so heavy to form words.
Akari stepped closer and softly he said, "If you weren't honest with me...or even with yourself...then at least be honest for him. For Kaari. Don't raise him under guilty. Love him with certainty. Don't pass him your shame."
And with that, Akari turned and walked away, free for the first time in years.
Kian's lips trembled. He looked like he wanted but still couldn't find the words. He just watched Akari disappear from his eyes.
***
It was the evening. Ruan was just chilling with his friends at Kev's house. He was there physically but mentally he was far away. His friends did not notice it though because he was good at hiding his facial expressions. Suddenly, a text popped in his phone.
Can we meet...?
He jolted briskly from the couch scaring the others.
"Dude what the hell? You scared us?" Kev said, hand on his chest.
"G...g...guys I need to go. Something urgent came up." Ruan said standing up.
"Hey but the game was just starting, bruv," Est urged.
He picked up his hoodie, "I'll make up for it next time."
With that he rushed out quickly without looking back.
Akari on the other side waited in the old storage room, a hidden spot few students visited. The fading sunlight filtered through the leaves casting soft shadows.
He had simply texted Ruan first.
"Can we meet in the old storage room?"
He didn't expect much out of it. It had been an hour and Ruan was nowhere to be seen. He looked at the unanswered text and sighed, lowering his head. "Guess he's still mad at me." He said to himself.
He stood up to leave, but, surprisingly, the door to the old storage room opened. Ruan appeared, hands in his hoodie pockets, eyes cautious but curious. His expression was different from how he received the text. Calm and firm. Like he didn't care at all.
Akari still puzzled, "I...um...I didn't think you'd show up."
"I told you, this room is not good for your health," Ruan said, brows knit.
He walked towards Akari and leaned on the desk infront.
"Thanks for coming," Akari said, fingers fidgeting, eyes pacing. His eyes already getting teary.
Ruan shrugged, avoiding eye contact. "What's this about?"
Akari's voice shook slightly. "I'm sorry, Ruan."
Ruan raised an eyebrow. "For what? The harsh words? Pushing me away? Returning the gift? The kiss? Which one?"
Akari swallowed hard, lowering his head. "All of it." He sniffled. "I was scared," he confessed quietly. "Scared of how much you mean to me. Scared because you're younger...and because I didn't know if I was ready for this."
Ruan's gaze softened a little. He looked at Akari whose head was down. He bit his lower lip, admiring slight smirk appearing. Akari was being cute right now.
"You mean...Scared of me or...?"
Akari nodded. He sniffled, wiping tears sliding down his cheek. "Yes. But more than that, I was scared of losing myself."
"You see Akari I'm not forcing..."
"I mean that," Akari chipped in. "I don't want to be afraid anymore. I just want to be honest with myself."
Silence waved between them, making the tension tight.
Ruan chuckled softly, Akari was a bit confused.
"Honest." Ruan whispered.
Ruan stood up and slowly walked towards Akari, leaving no inch between them. He caught Akari's blushing cheeks and slowly raised his Akari's face. He pushed back Akari's hair strands that laid on his forehead with his finger and caressed his face.
"Do you know how cute you are right now?" he teased.
He leaned closer and kissed Akari's forehead.
"A...a...aren't ma..." before Akari could ask, Ruan placed his points finger on Akari's lips, hushing him.
Ruan grinned. He grabbed Akari's waist and pulled him into a hug, tenderly strocking Akari's hair.
"Uh...how can I be mad at my cute coat check?" Ruan asked holding him tightly "I have to admit, that for the past few days, I hated being away from you."
He then slowly pulled out from the hug and caressed Akari's cheek again.
"You were the first person who saw me...like—really saw me. And when you shut me out, it really hurt as hell." He said voice low.
Their eyes met, raw and vulnerable.
Ruan searched Akari's face for a moment...then quietly pulled him into a kiss. Not rough, not teasing, just warm. Real.
And as the last light of the sun faded behind them, they stayed like that, silent, healing, and together.