A man sees a sign outside a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The man goes into the backyard and sees a black Labrador sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
The man is stunned. "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift when I was a puppy. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my talent. In no time, they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one suspected a dog would be eavesdropping. I was their most valuable spy for eight years."
"But I got tired of the travel," the dog continued. "So I settled down at the airport doing undercover security—wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some major smuggling rings there and was awarded a bunch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The man is absolutely amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
The owner replies, "Because he's a big fat liar. He didn't do any of that."