Break time in the Leaf Village always seemed to evaporate just when things were getting good.
Ibuki-sensei led the class back out to the grassy expanse of the playground. "Alright, everyone, listen up. Today we're tackling a pillar of physical conditioning: the push-up."
Shinchan's legendary grin instantly vanished, replaced by a look of profound betrayal. "Push... ups? Again? Is this a school or a labor camp?"
"It's basic training, Shinchan," Ibuki-sensei said, nodding firmly. "Push-ups build your arms, your chest, and your core. They are the bread and butter of a ninja's physical power."
Shinchan let out a sigh so heavy it practically deflated his red t-shirt.
Ibuki-sensei dropped to the grass to demonstrate. "Watch my form. Body straight as an arrow, hands aligned with the shoulders. Inhale on the way down, exhale as you push back up. Controlled, steady, and perfect."
He knocked out ten reps with the mechanical precision of a veteran Chunin. "Now, find a partner or a spot and get to work. I want to see effort!"
The children dispersed across the field. Most of them dropped into the standard position, their small bodies tensing as they prepared for the struggle.
Shinchan also lay down. But his interpretation of the "starting position" was... unique.
While everyone else held their bodies in a straight line, Shinchan was sprawled flat on his stomach, face buried in the clover, hands limp at his sides. He looked less like a ninja-in-training and more like a sloth taking a mid-day sunbath.
"Shinchan," Ibuki-sensei's voice boomed from across the clearing. "What exactly are we doing?"
"I am currently in the preparation phase," Shinchan muffled into the grass.
"Preparation for what? A nap? Get up and start your set!"
Shinchan groaned, slowly pushing himself off the ground. But as he rose, his anatomy seemed to defy the laws of standard exercise. He kept his head low and his feet planted, but he hiked his hips toward the clouds. His body formed a sharp, inverted 'V'—face down, backside aimed directly at the sun.
Ibuki-sensei froze. The children nearby stopped mid-rep, staring in silent confusion.
Che, who was midway through a warm-up stretch, stared at his friend in horror. "Shinchan... what is that? What are you doing?"
"Push-ups, duh," Shinchan said, his voice echoing from between his knees.
"No, that is definitely not a push-up! You look like a broken tent!"
"Really?" Shinchan tilted his head, arching his hips even higher. "I disagree. I find this posture much more ergonomically satisfying."
"Satisfying? How?!"
"Well," Shinchan grunted, "this way, my butt gets a tan while I work. It's called multitasking, Tetsu."
Che's eye twitched. He went back to his own exercise, muttering a silent prayer for patience.
Ibuki-sensei marched over, staring at the bizarre sight of a five-year-old's backside facing the Hokage Rock. "Nohara Shinchan... please tell me this isn't what you think a push-up is."
"It's the Butt-Raised Style Push-up," Shinchan explained with the gravitas of a grandmaster.
"The... what?"
"When I was training with Big-Brow Uncle yesterday, I realized that the standard way is very one-dimensional. This variation is specifically engineered to target the glutes," Shinchan said solemnly.
Ibuki-sensei opened his mouth, but for a moment, his brain simply failed to provide a rebuttal.
Nearby, Might Guy was mid-set, counting his reps with ferocious intensity. "Twenty-six! Twenty-seven! Twenty-eight!"
As he moved for the twenty-ninth, his gaze caught the "Butt-Raised Style." He stopped. His jaw dropped. His eyes began to shimmer.
"Shinchan!" Guy shouted, rushing over with the speed of a man who had just seen a vision of the future. "What is this magnificent new technique?"
Shinchan looked through his legs at the weeping Guy. "The Butt-Raised Style. It's for posterior optimization."
Guy's breath hitched. Posterior optimization? A new style?
"SHINCHAN!" Guy wailed, tears erupting from his eyes like twin geysers. He collapsed to his knees, trembling with inspiration. "You've done it! You've innovated the very essence of Youth!"
Shinchan blinked. "I have?"
"Yes!" Guy shouted, giving a thumbs-up that caught the sun. "I thought I knew everything about push-ups, but you've shattered my reality! You've shown me that Youth has no boundaries! This is the Shinchan-Style: The Peak of the Posterior!"
Shinchan grinned and returned the thumbs-up. "Right? I knew you'd get it, Guy. It's very avant-garde."
"It's brilliant!" Guy sobbed. "We must spread the word! This style must become a village treasure!"
So there they stood—one boy bent in a ridiculous 'V', the other standing and weeping—both flashing blinding white grins and thumbs-up at each other. The scene was as bizarre as it was oddly hot-blooded.
The rest of the class was dumbfounded. Obito's jaw was practically touching the grass. "What... what is wrong with them?"
Rin giggled behind her hand. "They're certainly having more fun than we are."
Kakashi glanced over, his expression as flat as ever, though the corner of his eye seemed to crinkle. He went back to his own set, moving with perfect form, but his pace slowed just a fraction as he watched the nonsense.
Che stayed focused on his own grass, pretending he was an only child who had never met a boy in a red shirt.
"Nohara Shinchan!" Ibuki-sensei finally barked, regaining his voice.
"Present!"
"Can you please just do one normal, textbook push-up?"
"Normal?" Shinchan asked, tilting his head. "Teacher, what is 'normal' anyway? Isn't it just a social construct used to stifle creativity?"
"It's used to build muscle!"
"But the 'normal' way only trains the front. My way is comprehensive," Shinchan said with a sage-like nod. "My mom always says you have to be balanced. She also told me a strong butt is a healthy butt, and that I should never, ever be constipated."
Ibuki-sensei closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping. He felt a spiritual exhaustion that no amount of chakra could cure. "Fine. Just... keep moving."
"You got it, Teach!"
Shinchan began to bob up and down in his 'V' shape. The movement was incredibly strange, a rhythmic jerking that looked nothing like exercise.
Guy watched for three seconds, then dropped into the exact same position beside him.
"Guy! What are you doing?"
"I cannot let you pioneer the Peak of the Posterior alone!" Guy shouted, tears still flowing. "I shall burn my Youth alongside yours!"
Now there were two of them, side-by-side, butts in the air, bobbing up and down in unison. The absurdity level of the playground had officially doubled.
Obito watched them, his brow furrowing. "I mean... it does look like it might be fun?" He glanced at his classmates, saw the snickering, and quickly shoved the thought back into the depths of his mind.
Rin couldn't stop laughing now, her shoulders shaking. Che kept his head down, but the corners of his mouth were twitching uncontrollably.
Ibuki-sensei stood at the edge of the field, watching the two small figures. He let out a long sigh, followed by a helpless, faint smile. This kid is a walking disaster, he thought. But I have a feeling this is going to be the most interesting class the Academy has ever seen.
In the distance, Kakashi finished his set and stood up. He glanced at the bobbing duo one last time. "Idiots," he whispered.
But in his eye, there was a tiny, fleeting spark of something that looked like envy. Perhaps it was the simple, rare ability to be completely, shamelessly ridiculous without caring who was watching.
Under the bright afternoon sun, the "Butt-Raised" Youth continued to burn.
If you like it, please give power stones.