Chapter Eleven – Helios and Icarus
Ali didn't join him for breakfast, so Lawrence was at a loss regarding what lessons he was supposed to attend that would be as demanding as Bastien had warned him. Since each day he'd been pointed in the right direction by a faculty member or other adjacent personnel when appropriate – unless Ali was there to guide him around – after the meal was over, he waited patiently.
The Golden Circle had been quick to disappear once they finished their breakfasts. Lawrence didn't even search for Bastien with his eyes, worried that he might give himself away. Lukas's secret notebook was now safely hidden behind the paneling in his room, and there had been no sign of anyone rummaging through the things on his desk while he'd been asleep. Not that he could see how Bastien would have been able to get out of bed during the night without waking him up and then return in perfect silence. Still, he had wondered about it because that was the nature of an investigator, which he was.
Not like someone tempted to sleep in the same bed as the main suspect. Tempted. Oh, the hypocrisy. Lawrence wanted to give himself a little smack. As much as he'd love to argue that Bastien had been so cruel as to pressure him into sleeping in the same bed, and do those things in the morning, he knew he was to blame.
He felt relief when he saw Ali hurrying toward him down the hallway leading to the library. While he would've liked to skip today's lessons so he could peruse Lukas's notebook carefully, he didn't want to be punished for doing so. After all, truancy wasn't taken lightly at Veridien, according to Ali, at least.
"Great, I found you." Ali grabbed his hand and began dragging him along. "We have no time to waste, and since this is a special occasion, you need a guide. And a guardian angel, but don't ask me what I mean by that."
"I am going to ask you what you mean by that," Lawrence said, unwilling to hide his distrust. It wouldn't serve to have his observers believe he was too gullible. "As well as where we're going."
"What's this, Larry?" Ali turned, and without letting go of Lawrence, he patted his chest, or better said, the place where the insignia of the academy was embroidered on his blazer.
"The sun?"
"Yep. We don't bow to modern powers around here, nor are we religious in the sense you know. But, in other words, we worship the old gods. More specifically, the sun."
"And what's that got to do with me?"
Ali scoffed. "Everything. Don't you want to be part of the Veridien experience? If you came here only to study, I'm going to start thinking that I was wrong about you."
Lawrence could argue and needle about the hidden sense of Ali's words, but he was intrigued. Also, the more time he spent understanding the academy and its strange ways, the closer he would get to the person – or persons – behind Lukas's death.
"Okay, I'm in, whatever this worshipping of old gods entails. But only because you keep dragging me," he joked.
Ali rolled his eyes. "Let's make a run for it, Sleeper. We're already late, and rest assured, they will leave without us if we're not there in time."
***
Lawrence stretched out his arms, getting a feel of the white linen robe Ali had ordered him to put on. They were in another changing room, one similar to the one beside the fencing hall, and they were the last to get ready for the ritual ahead.
The material was coarse against his skin but refreshing. At first, Ali's direct suggestion that he leave his uniform and all his undergarments in a locker at the end of the row – one without a name on it – met some resistance on his part, but seeing how his companion had no qualms with undressing completely before pulling his robe over his head, Lawrence complied.
People enjoyed getting a rise out of him around here, getting naked in his presence as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Funny how such things had never bothered him before; he'd been in plenty of locker rooms and had witnessed male nudity numerous times. But at Veridien, there was an underlying meaning to everything everyone did, so he was on his toes.
He had averted his eyes just in time to avoid seeing Ali in the nude. Bastien was enough on his mind, and he didn't need another attractive young male flaunting the goods for him to see. Though he was firmly convinced that Ali's nakedness wouldn't have the same effect on his sanity as Bastien's alluring body, Lawrence didn't want to invite any more trouble than he already had.
In the end, he had nothing to worry about. Ali was only stressed about not missing the ritual, and there seemed to be no impure thoughts on his mind. With impatient hands, he pulled the hood attached to the robe over Lawrence's head instead of explaining to him what needed to be done.
"Wait, what about shoes?" Lawrence asked, giving his bare feet a concerned look.
"Pain purifies, Larry," Ali said. "Now, despite our harried preparation, you must put on your most pious face. Come on, give it to me."
"Give what to you?" Lawrence still had no idea where they were supposed to go, so walking barefoot who knew how far didn't make him keen on this entire ritual thing.
"Your pious look," Ali said. "Okay, just keep your eyes down. It's so obvious you're from the real world."
"I have no idea whether I should take that as a compliment or as an insult."
"It's a compliment. I envy you," Ali said. "You don't have to deal with all this the way I have to."
"Why do I have the suspicion that you're only dragging me into this because you want your misery to have company?"
"Am I that transparent?" Ali grinned. "Nonsense. This robe was made for you. Trust me, the academy thought of everything."
"By the academy, who do you mean? Rector Reichenau? Herr Becker?"
"All of them," Ali said quickly. "Since you're here, you must take part in everything Veridien entails and signifies. No one leaves this place without having been molded into the type of man they prepare here to face the world."
How did Lukas leave in the end? Was he already a changed man, or, on the contrary, had he opposed being molded, like Ali said, into something he didn't agree with?
He kept such questions to himself. Ali wouldn't answer them anyway, or he might just throw another red herring his way. Lawrence enjoyed the young man's company, but he wasn't above suspicion. Like everyone else at the academy.
"Who's attending this ritual?" he asked.
"Don't worry. He'll be there," Ali said promptly.
"Who?"
"Come on, Larry. We're past that, aren't we?"
Of course. He'd better remember not to play such games with someone as sharp as Ali. Despite his easygoing attitude, Ali was one of Veridien's finest, which, for the world outside, translated into someone powerful, intelligent, and possibly dangerous.
"Now let's do this as if we weren't in a hurry to arrive," Ali advised him. "Walk right behind me. I know you might think my mere presence won't protect you much, but I'm actually stronger than I look."
"Why would I require your protection, Shorty?"
"Shorty?" Ali turned to give him a smirk. "I think I like it. What nickname did you give him?"
"I didn't give him any nickname."
"Ah, no wonder he's in such a funk. Naming others is a proof of love around here, Larry."
"So you love me? Since you call me whatever you want."
Ali batted his eyelashes. "Yes, but it is a pure love, Sleeper. Bear in mind that I'm only an admirer of beauty."
"I will try not to forget such an important detail."
What kind of name would fit Bastien? Something that only he, Lawrence, would use. Adonis? He definitely looked the part, with his flawless physique and eyes that could punish with one glance.
No, being the Sun King worked for him as it should. Helios would most likely fit him, Lawrence thought. And that would make him Icarus, in danger of getting too close with wings made of wax.
Ali was just teasing him, of course. Lawrence wouldn't call Bastien anything, because he had no intention of getting involved in such dangerous behaviors with the one he was supposed to investigate as to Lukas's demise.
***
They had massed inside the courtyard in perfect silence, and no words were exchanged as they began to move. Following Ali's example to the letter, Lawrence walked right behind his guide, stealing looks left and right from time to time. From what he could tell, besides the Golden Circle, which he believed he recognized by a rogue strand of hair escaping the hood of the wearer, or a mannerism that couldn't be faked, around a dozen other students were taking part in the ritual. His educated guess was that they were all four-year students.
What surprised him more was who acted as the leader of the group. Once outside the main gate, he stopped along with the others. A pair of arms raised a wide round disc of bronze above his head, facing the entire group. The light of the sun caught in it briefly. It was a wonderful day, the last of its kind before colder weather chose Veridien and its surroundings as its place of residence.
"We must face east," a voice Lawrence recognized as belonging to Felix, Ali's twin, proclaimed loudly. "Hold your breath now, and receive the day."
A collective soft gasp announced to Lawrence that all present followed that direct order.
"Look ahead and feel no fear. The sun will judge only the unworthy."
Lawrence grimaced when he realized what Felix was doing by manipulating the large disc. He squinted when the sun rays reflected straight into his eyes, but the discomfort was soon gone. However, his vision had suffered a slight transformation. Around him, the world came up sharper, in stronger light and darker shadows.
Felix lowered his arms, signaling that what must have been their first trial was over. The group began moving. Lawrence wasn't pleased about having to walk barefoot and the rational part of his brain protested against the possibility of cuts and infection. However, the strong air and beautiful surroundings made him forget about his state of undress. While fully covered – the robe went down well past his ankles and was brushing the mountain path – he also felt naked, but in a liberating way. Maybe there was something to this ritual that built a stronger body. As someone who enjoyed his fair share of physical exertion, he could appreciate that.
A winding path took them over a not-so-steep incline that still required a bit of strain. Lawrence welcomed the sensation; yes, indeed, so far this ritual made him feel quite invigorated.
Also worthy of admiration was the discipline displayed by the group. The only sounds accompanying them on their journey were the ones made by their marching steps and the occasional swish of their robes.
Lawrence would've felt inclined to pester Ali with questions, but since no one was talking, he couldn't risk it. That gave him the respite to enjoy himself during the walk. The students at Veridien had all this beauty to themselves; did they appreciate it, or did they find it oppressive just like their studies? Ali disliked being at the academy and wanted a way out. Lukas had been 'in a state', according to the same source. Under the naked sky, on such a beautiful day, it seemed impossible for anyone to become fed up with their youth and having their life ahead of them.
No, it would be wrong to discard the Veridien case as a suicide. There had to be more to what had happened to Lukas, at least in the days leading to his death.
The more they climbed, the steeper the incline became. The path seemed to grow narrower, and the group eventually ended up walking single file. Lawrence was grateful for being last, because this way, no one would be busy observing him while he remained the observer.
How long had they been walking? It was difficult to tell, but the physical strain was starting to make itself known in the light burn in his calves and thighs. While the sun became stronger, pelting their backs – and now Lawrence understood the practicality of wearing white linen and having their heads covered – the air was growing colder, and the trees around them sparser.
The path turned to flat stone. The roof of the world; wasn't this what professional climbers called the highest places on Earth?
They were above the academy now. Looking over his shoulder, Lawrence realized that they were above a belt of fog, so they couldn't glimpse the place they had left behind. Between them and the sky, there was nothing.
He brushed off the little chill coursing through him. Ali's promise to protect him didn't seem so odd now. After all, he was up in the mountains with a group of strangers, and one of them could very well be the one who'd taken Lukas's life.
Lawrence had to remind himself that he didn't believe in gut instinct, no matter how much his uncle cherished such invisible things. There was evil in the world; of course, there was plenty of it. But he was one of the people who trained to identify it and remove it from the lives of others, so they could be safe.
He was the one in charge of protecting others, not Ali.
***
It was around the last bend that Lawrence spotted the lake. That had to be their destination, because the group spread around its shore in an orderly fashion. A glacier-fed body of water, it looked almost black in the middle, and mist floated above its surface, making it look like the boiling cauldron of a witch.
Their spreading out was barely over when the sun appeared over the cliff guarding the lake like a shield. If they had timed their march here to be present at this precise moment, Lawrence was impressed.
"I hope you'll like the next part," Ali whispered at him, probably forgetting about the unspoken vow of silence the participants must've taken the moment they'd put their robes on. "And that you know how to swim."
"I know how to swim," Lawrence replied. "But what would've happened if I didn't?"
"Someone would have offered to assist you," Ali replied. "Then I only have one last tidbit of wisdom to impart to you. Cold is a state of mind."
"Do you mean that it's only in my head? But I'm not cold."
Ah, he understood. Felix was now taking each of the student by the hand and helped them into the lake.
"You hate cold," Lawrence whispered at Ali. "How often do you need to deal with this?"
"It only happens once a year, so lucky me," Ali replied. "Also, it's all pretty much in and out. I will survive."
"All right. If you say so."
The ritual involved full submersion. Lawrence watched as each of the students who walked into the lake made an effort to go as far as possible, stopping only when they deemed that they could go no further. After that, they disappeared from the surface for a few moments only to emerge again, breaking the surface and swimming back to the shore.
All done in silence, like the rest of the ritual – even the movement of arms through the water was meant to be delicate, without disturbing the dark face of the lake too much.
Lawrence observed. Bastien was among the last, and when he came out of the water, Lawrence had to avert his eyes once more. The white linen glued to the Sun King's magnificent body, leaving little to the imagination. No one stared, even if they all looked the same, with their robes wet, and their manhood visible to anyone who took the inappropriate opportunity to gawk.
Being too busy keeping his eyes away, he missed Felix approaching him. For a moment, it felt unnerving to meet Ali's eyes boring into his. Having the twins close by made Lawrence experience an unsettling sensation of having his attention split in two.
"Has my dear brother already scared you?" Felix said, his voice calm and kind.
"How could he? I'm double his size."
"About our ritual, I mean. Come on now." Unlike his playful self, Felix wore his role as the master of ceremonies as a familiar coat. His manner had authority, and Lawrence didn't protest as Felix took his hand and pulled him toward the water.
They stopped for a moment before Felix nudged him gently to perform the next step. "Noli timere. Frigus transibit.*"
So the cold lake must have put off students in the past, since both Ali and his twin insisted on it. Lawrence walked into the water, and a shiver climbed up his legs, gathering into a knot at the base of his spine.
Ali had talked about him experiencing the Veridien way, but Lawrence wasn't there to become one of them. He looked over his shoulder, catching Bastien's eye. The stranger needed to show his ability to transgress.
Helios watched him with eyes of gold. So Lawrence felt his wings of wax stretching wide. He turned and cut through the water, his arms extended, close together.
He didn't need a confirmation that his performance was being watched closely. A murmur coming from several different people warned him in advance that his putting on a show would be a topic fit for disdain.
Lawrence was an excellent swimmer. It went without saying for him that a good cop would have to be in top notch physical shape to catch criminals. The water bit into his skin mercilessly, sending waves of shock along his nerves. Controlling his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering was a struggle, but it lasted little. His muscles, warmed by the exercise, found their rhythm, and cold was replaced by a burning sensation.
How far had the others swum? The center of the lake? Further? Lawrence pushed himself. Water splashed by his ears, and it was only between him and the sky now. About seven years ago, he'd saved someone from drowning, a young woman. He still recalled the way she'd clutched her arms around his neck, as if she wanted to pull him under instead of helping him save her. It had taken all his strength to immobilize her and swim back to the shore with her. Her eyes, wide with fear, had only met his once before the medical personnel arrived at the scene to take her away. There had been no gratitude in that look. Only wildness, the same you'd see in the eyes of an animal. It bothered him sometimes to revisit that particular memory.
A shout reached him from the shore and he turned. Felix – or was it Ali? – was waving wildly. Had he gone too far? Lawrence waved back. If they wanted to put the stranger to the test, so be it. He intended to give them what they wanted, with something on top to remember him.
So what was next? Ah, of course. He had to submerge himself completely for the ritual to continue. Holding one arm up in his own attempt at symbolism, he allowed himself to sink underneath the surface. His robe was getting heavier, dragging him down. Lawrence kept his eyes wide open. Above him, the water closed, but he could see the sun above reflecting in it. The entire world went silent.
A sharp sting in his heel startled him. A leech? Was that possible in water this cold? Lawrence shook his leg, only to feel a grip wrapping itself around his ankle and yanking him down. Alarm overloaded his senses. His heart beat faster as he struggled to get rid of whatever was trying to pull him under, into the darkness below.
His lungs screamed for air. Lawrence drove his free heel into the hand – it had to be a hand – holding him, as little as that would serve him.
It worked. The grip lessened, surprise most likely more efficient than Lawrence's actual kick. He bent and twisted, his vision tunneling as he stared into the abyss below.
Something moved down there – a matte black shape, and Lawrence thought he glimpsed a metallic glint. Bubbles from his own nose blinded him. The sun was at its weakest here. He rolled so he could dive after his attacker, but his robe slid off his body, turning into a shroud around his head, cutting his momentum.
Where was he? Lawrence struggled to return to his initial position, but his muscles protested, the lack of air getting to him, the robe entangling him again.
To the surface, he needed to get to the surface. He shouldn't panic. Panic cost precious time and air.
The ceiling above broke, and Lawrence saw someone. Blond hair, white robe. An arm wrapping around him and pulling him upwards, the solidity of another body making all the difference between the inevitable and being saved.
He gasped as his lungs filled with much-needed air.
"Are you insane?" Bastien shouted at him, wet hair in his eyes, lips moving. "What are you trying to prove?"
Lawrence took him in hungrily. Bastien was still searching his face, a wild expression in his eyes.
"You don't want to hide, Bastien. So don't."
It was partly performative as his brain calmed down. But it was also him losing a battle so he could win the war.
Bastien resisted, but only for a moment. It was him who held Lawrence, one hand wrapped around the back of his head, and kissed him.
Air tasted sweet. Bastien's lips tasted sweeter.
"Will you two break it off?"
Anton's annoyed voice pushed them apart. But they kept staring at each other, grinning and ignoring the third party witnessing their intimate moment.
"To the shore, now," Anton ordered. "Bastien, you will have to bribe Felix to keep his mouth shut about this. And don't get me involved this time."
Anton swam before them, and they followed. Bastien continued to support him, though he could swim on his own just as well.
If all the four-year students were here, the killer wasn't among them. No one would be able to put on a drysuit and a rebreather so quickly after slipping from his robe. Lawrence's eyes scanned the shore as his body started trembling, the depletion following the surge of adrenaline from before and the drop in body temperature catching up with him.
He'd look more closely, but his educated guess was that his attacker wasn't among the people he'd climbed the mountain path with to get here.
But why attack him?
Jealousy, after all, was good enough a reason. And some people didn't get their hands dirty, especially if they were used to having other people do everything for them.
"You need so much looking after," Bastien scolded him, making him smile.
"I don't mind that," Lawrence said, his teeth chattering. Good, shivering was good. It would've been hell if it hadn't happened, and he knew it. But once they were out of the water, he'd have to act quickly to get his body temperature back to normal.
"I have to say this," Bastien continued. He had to be strong to swim so easily, while holding another person, especially one as large as Lawrence. "I'm afraid you are a bit stupid. I apologize, but you are."
Lawrence laughed, which only made his trembling and teeth chattering intensify.
TBC
* Noli timere. Frigus transibit.(Latin) – Don't be afraid. The cold will pass.