Chapter 43: Fight
Zein's Point of View...
I don't know whether to be happy or worried about the punishment Supremo inflicted on those involved in hurting me.
Happy? Yes, I admit I was happy because I know he only did it to give justice to the brazen act they committed against me, but I feel more worried. I'm worried that things might get worse, that it might affect what he has now. I worry and fear that all of Supremo's hard work will be destroyed... just because of me.
"Ms. Shion?"
I stood up and went to Teacher Kath's table, where she handed me the very numerous papers.
"Please put them in the stock room."
I just nodded and walked past Supremo's frowned forehead, which clearly objected to Teacher Kath's order. Well, this also favors me because his presence is very heavy inside. Supremo and I barely talk to each other, as I requested from him.
I requested him that as much as possible, we shouldn't talk much when Teacher Kath or Vice Ty are around us. I don't want things to get any worse.
Biting my lip, I made my way to the stock room.
I admit I'm also having a hard time with our situation. Supremo and I have no commitments, but we are more than just a couple. Are commitments really necessary? I feel like words from the mouth are also useless if not accompanied by action. Action is much more powerful than words but action without words is confusing. What a mess.
I twisted the doorknob of the door and pushed it. I had a hard time pushing it because its edge was already rusty. I coughed when I inhaled the dust.
There were so many papers and things here that obviously haven't been used in a long time. I placed the papers on a table, so the dust spread in the air, making me cough.
I felt a presence behind me, so I quickly turned my gaze there.
"A-Angel?"
She grinned. I noticed the burst of her lower lip and her arm was bandaged. I felt a little pity because I know one of the gangs did that.
"Are you happy now?" she asked, with a bitter and intense emotion visible. "You are already the Queen. You're even Rank 4," she added.
My mouth remained shut because I also didn't know what to answer.
No. Not because of that am I happy. I will never be happy with honors and power. Only one person can make me happy. He is all I need to be happy. I can lose everything, as long as he's there, my smile will remain on my lips.
Wow... his effect on me is so intense for me to be like this.
"You have everything! But why even Supremo?!"
I stared into her eyes where I could clearly see the pain and hurt she was feeling. She has feelings for Supremo... that's why she's doing this. If she calls this love, I'll just laugh at her. This is not love. This is selfishness.
"Stay away from him."
I smiled unconsciously. Before repeatedly shaking my head. I promised I wouldn't obey anyone, only him. I will only obey an order from him, only from Ace
.
"Can't you see?! While you're by his side, he's having a harder time. You're just making it difficult for him. You're just a burden!"
"YES! I KNOW!"
She was shocked when I shouted. My lip was trembling not because of Angel but because of the fact that she was right. I knew it.
"Do you think I'm happy?! Huh?! If Supremo is having a hard time, I am even more! It hurts to see him having a hard time." I felt a tear fall from my eye.
My whole body was trembling, even my heart felt like it was about to explode. I don't know what I should do anymore. I can't leave Supremo, I also can't stand seeing him getting hurt. It's like I'm in a room with two doors... no matter which one I choose, I will get hurt. It's like... I'd rather stay locked inside. I'm afraid to choose.
"It's your fault anyway. If you hadn't gotten close to him, then you wouldn't be having a hard time!"
"This is not my fault! This is a fucking accident..." My voice weakened as successive sobs escaped me. "I didn't want any of this to happen... it's all an accident." It came out of my mouth repeatedly, like a broken record.
It really was all an accident. I didn't want to be trapped here, I didn't want our paths to cross... I'm just a victim of this accident, too. I am a victim of a playful fate. Fuck!
"Just stay away from him. Everything will go back to how it was."
I shook my head firmly. Things can never go back to how they were. What was meant to happen has already happened. I can't bring back the past... the past where Supremo was nothing to me... the past where he wasn't important to me yet... the past where I had no feelings for him yet. The past that can never be brought back.
"Sorry..." was the last thing I heard from Angel's mouth before she closed the door.
I ran to the door and tried hard to open it, but it was already locked.
I just started sobbing and let myself slide down. I hugged my knees while sobbing... staring into space.
I'm not afraid of the dark; I prefer the dark to the light because in the dark I can hide everything I can't hide in the light. I live in the dark but now I can't help but be afraid.
I'm scared that I might not see the light again because I also realized that it was in the light that I found someone who gave meaning to my existence.
I am in the dark and I badly want to see the light. My light... my Supremo. Ace.
I ran out of tears and I don't know how many hours I've been sitting there.
I need to choose. I can never stay in the middle. I have to choose and accept it fully.
It's either to forget or to stay. To hurt or to be hurt.
What now, Zein?
I heard the lock outside move so I quickly stood up and moved away from the door so I wouldn't get hit if it was forced open.
My heart was pounding very hard. I would see the light outside again and I needed to be strong in front of them even though I had already broken down inside.
The door suddenly opened and two people appeared before me.
My chest tightened too much and it felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.
"Zein?! Are you okay?!"
I felt Supremo hug me but I remained in my position and looked at the man behind him.
He broke away from the hug and stared into my eyes. I felt the sides of my eyes sting again.
"Z-Zein?"
My jaw dropped when I pushed him aside and approached Matt. Matt was surprised when I hugged him accompanied by the disappearance of sobs from my mouth.
I haven't chosen yet... I don't want to choose. I want to move away from Supremo for a while; I need to clear my head because when I'm next to him, all I can think about is being with him.
"Z-Zein?" Matt said confusingly.
I broke away from his hug and held his hand to leave there.
Every step I took with Matt and away from Supremo felt like a stab in my heart.
The pain.
I couldn't help but glance at Supremo who was just looking at us seriously but there I saw... pain.
I closed my eyes and let go of Matt's hand to run back to Supremo.
He met me with a hug and I returned it. Damn! This is fucking wrong but the hell I just can't step away from him.
"Supremo, I can no longer fight."
"You don't have to fight, I will fight for you."