When a god… no a deity is born, they lose something of value. Pain, emotions, sight or memory. They lose also meaning to their humanity. They become aliens to themselves and towards others. They don't know which is one is true. When something of values is lost, the god doesn't care cause did not know that it was of value to them in the first place. Due to this they wonder.
That is what happened to me. I've lost my memory, my pain, my emotions and my humanity. I look nothing like what I once was. My home, this enteral yet prison-like void, is not how I see others with pleasent looking homes. It feels…strange and yet… I can not compute that matter. I watch from screens and magical angles of the vast universes and multiverses that play with each other, despite their differences, they are all just one singular creation. I can erase them all with just a single word and thought. Yet it does not bring me any satisfaction, nor sadness, anything of the sort. To me it's just an action and nothing more. However, to the places beyond my home, lies a bright star that never fades and a burning flame that never dies. What is the difference? One screams and one sings? It's an oddity to my soul and it brings my eyes to them. They exist for an unknown reason that I can't quiet understand.
It's been, billion upon billion of years maybe even higher then those mere numbers, that I've sat here. Waiting, watching and listening to those partly responsible musical performances. They are amusing to say the most. The grammer is influenced by mixed musical words and songs that plague my ever growing vocabulary gameplay. Yet I diverse to dwell in them. Strange that I find nothing of hope and death here with these creatures that bite my every hand and clentch my very existence. Yet my existence is a fraud of nature, created to be a destroyer without mind or soul yet I possess both.
Memories of theories and dreams triverses my life and fills the void within my body. It's strange that I find it a pest yet I take no action upon it. In any case, I watch the tiny yet possibly significant stars that surround my place of tormenting blackness.
Day 1
I watch the tiny stars swirl and spin like cogs in a machine, but they do not appear to plague me like the others. What do you think, dear friend? Oh, wait. You can't talk back to me, for I am alone here in this place without a comfort zone or isolation chamber. At least I can talk to you, right? Just like a friend who never talks back but only listens.
I wonder what exploring feels like, does its have the sensation of not destroying a piece of a puzzle despite having half the puzzle built? Will it give me the feel of touching something ambiguous and satisfying? Tell me friend, what does it feel like?
Yet nothing is answered. Are my thoughts that uninteresting? If so, I do not mind. Interesting or not they will forever plague my mind. I amend my statement, but I shall not repeat it again, it leaves a terrible feeling in my throat which I can not comprehend nor express.
Day 2
That world right there, the one with the spiky hair man who suddenly turns yellows then to red in forms? Does he enjoy the life he lives and the feelings his body receives? Or does h seek for something else? Does reading a manga give me knowledge and understanding? If so then do not give them to me for I know it. The power KI resides in every living being within that universe and alternate ones that stand above them. Although except for one universe, that one doesn't have Ki at all. It doesn't concern me though. What do you think, friend? Does this world fascinate you?
In any case. What about that bald man that can destroy mountains and planted with a single punch? Does that one fascinate you too? No? It doesn't? How peculiar, very, very strange. Hmm. What about the world where the boy gets reincarnated and is very overpowered? He says something like "I am atomic." Is that what he says? I don't really care cause I kill him before he even tried. Why are you surpised? Was he strong? Hm, How disappointing.
Have you seen heaven or Hell before, cause I haven't. Their up there, look, the nice shiny transparent yellow. That's heaven and then look, down beneath us. That dark red that burns like fire and crackles like lighting. I can hear people screaming and yelling down there. Overall, I've never had the urge to travel or dive to those places. Have you ever been that curious before in your life? If not, I understand.
Day 3
Get rid of that. Days are of nothing but tribal hatred and violence here. They anger the beast inwhich consider themselves god-like and all knowing. Like myself, but I do no get angry but understand. I understand that for humans and monsters it is essential for them to know the time of day and place.
Is seems you don't want to delete the term day 3 which I see above. It is common for humans to defy orders from others unrelated to their work. I don't mind either way. It would probably interest me if I apologize for my rude behavior. Pardon me for my ignorance.
I'm tired. Tired of being on this stone throne that shows cowardice and hypocrisy. It's a pain in the ass really. It tells everyone that I am a fake and that I am not real. Will you follow my travels through the screens around us? I'v been feeling this faint sensation lately ever since your arrival. I thank you for your service, please enjoy watching me and my journey.