Narrator's P.O.V.
It didn't take long for the man to finally get ready, leaving his apartment as soon as he finished dressing up. Walking through the streets, the scenery changed, but the emptiness in his chest remained the same. He felt hollow. His mind contrasted that, becoming pure chaos, drowning him in thoughts. Kael remained in complete silence the entire way from his house to the mall. He was someone who couldn't live without music, couldn't transition from one place to another in complete silence, however...
However, the pandemonium within his very being prevented him from existing as he always had. He simply couldn't.
When he finally spotted the massive building, he signaled the bus, stepping off as soon as the vehicle parked in front of one of the mall's entrances. The lights of the place were harsh, hurting Ávila's eyes a bit. His head pounded. The crowd of people seemed to suffocate him as he walked. The man walked looking down at the ground, trapped in his memories. The whole scene from that afternoon replayed in his mind, over and over, non-stop. He couldn't stop. He couldn't unhear the absurd words that had come out of the mouth of someone he, unfortunately, loved.
And he loved him so much...
But, as soon as he spotted Pedro, Pabllyo, Léo, and a few other friends waiting for him at the cinema entrance, the colors of his world returned a little. Even if, painfully, Yuri was right in the middle of them, forcing a grayish spot onto Kael's mood. As soon as he approached, the younger boy looked at him intensely, but showed no reaction. Farias didn't smile, didn't look sad... he simply didn't seem to feel as much as the older man did—and in fact, he felt nothing at all. He was in the middle of the circle of other friends from the group, laughing, cracking jokes, completely radiant. Typical of him.
And, even though he had stared at him blatantly, Yuri acted as if the older man didn't even exist. Still, Kael smiled when he saw his friends. Everyone greeted him excitedly, as they always did every time they met, even if it was the second time that same day. They loved each other, and Kael was grateful to have them there with him, especially in a delicate moment like that, where he felt completely exposed and wounded. He had never been so happy to see them!
"Who else are we missing?" Verônica asked.
"I think everyone's here," Pedro said, looking around.
"Samuel hasn't arrived yet," Kael said simply, his voice sounding a little too low. But everyone heard him.
"Samuel?" Pabllyo wore a mischievous little smirk on his lips. He had already figured out there was something going on between his friend and the newest member of the group.
"Yeah, I... I had invited him to come when... we made the plans..." The man spoke slowly, as if choosing his words carefully, mainly due to the fact that Yuri's attention was completely on him.
"I love that! I adored the diva," the girl said.
"And when is he getting here?"
"Well, any minute now, I think." Kael answered Pedro, and right after, his phone alarm went off. He had set it to mark the time Samuel had given him when he left his house. "I'm going down to the subway to get him. I'll be right back."
"Going to pick up your little boyfriend?" Yuri blurted out suddenly, drawing everyone's attention, and especially Ávila's.
Kael couldn't understand how it was possible for his heart to break any further, however, Yuri was always capable of exceeding his expectations. Whether they were good or bad. The younger boy's attitude was going to destroy him, but Ávila wasn't going to allow himself to fall apart over someone as low as Yuri. Not anymore.
"I'll be right back," he said, ignoring the younger boy's remarks.
Kael simply turned around and went on his way. Ignoring the younger boy hurt like a sword piercing his chest, but he knew it was for the best. The man sighed deeply, heavily, as if stepping away and getting out of the pseudo-redhead's line of sight had finally allowed air to return to his lungs...
But, suddenly, his cell phone vibrated. A message from Samuel lit up the screen. "Got the mall's Wi-Fi. Meet me in front of the bookstore?" That's what it said. Unconsciously, he picked up his pace. He was anxious to see the younger boy.
When he finally reached the store Samuel had pointed out, Kael stopped and waited. It didn't take long before he appeared at the top of the escalator. Novaes flashed a radiant smile at the older man the moment he saw him. Kael, in turn, ended up sighing. Samuel looked beautiful. He was beautiful! So much so that the man felt his heart beat a little faster. His hands trembled with anticipation. The image of Samuel managed to take over his mind, innocently driving away all the bad thoughts that had been present before, filling up all the space. Unconsciously, the presence of that boy started bringing Kael back to the surface.
"Fuck..." Kael murmured softly. His smile slowly growing as the younger boy approached.
The boy couldn't wait for the escalator to carry him to the first floor, hurrying down the steps. When he reached the other man, he hugged him tightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Kael let out a muffled chuckle. He found it strange that Samuel was being so openly affectionate with him, but he wasn't going to complain; after all, he was loving it!
"You smell good," Kael said, still holding the younger boy in his arms.
"I am good-smelling, my love," he emphasized. "Shall we?"
"We shall!" he replied.
They both broke the hug and started walking to the cinema, where everyone was already waiting for them. Side by side they walked while talking about trivial things, laughing every now and then at some nonsense they'd drop into the conversation. Slowly, the older man's mood was reignited, as if the boy beside him were a flame keeping him warm, preventing him from succumbing to the cold that Farias's existence in his life brought.
Kael noticed that Samuel seemed to want to hold him as they walked, but was policing himself not to. He thought that was cute. Without saying anything, he took the boy's hand and placed it on his own arm, making him walk closely beside him. Samuel smiled at the sudden act, holding on tightly and starting to chatter away as he always did. He talked about his day, excitedly sharing every detail or thought with Kael.
They finally met up with the group of friends. Everyone looked at them as they approached, but Kael couldn't have cared less. The friends greeted Samuel and, since they still had time before the movie started, decided to go to some stores to buy candy and some food for the screening. Because they were in a large group, they inevitably ended up splitting up. Yuri, Léo, Verônica, and Matheus, a childhood friend of Yuri's, walked further ahead, detaching themselves a bit from the rest. Kael, Samuel, Pabllyo, and Pedro stayed further back, talking among themselves.
Because they knew each other a little too well, the boys noticed something was wrong, deciding to ask Kael what had happened. The man was too downcast, too quiet, and that wasn't typical for someone like him. So, he told them. He told them about the past few days. He told them about the walk home. He told them about that fateful afternoon. The trio exchanged glances, occasionally shooting him looks of pity.
How could Yuri be such a son of a bitch?
"Did he really say that, Ka?" Samuel seemed indignant.
"Exactly how I told you. But it's fine. I didn't expect any less from him." Kael laughed sadly, visibly tired. He was very beaten down.
"But it doesn't matter either. Fuck him. He doesn't deserve someone as good as you, man," Pabllyo emphasized, making them laugh with the way he said it.
"So that's why he keeps throwing shade all the time. Makes sense," Pedro said, and Kael looked at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"Man, didn't you notice? Yuri and Matheus keep looking over here all the time, and I've already heard several little jabs from him," he answered.
"And what is he saying?" Samuel's expression darkened in an almost frightening way. He seemed to have gotten genuinely angry.
"It doesn't matter. Let him say whatever he wants, it won't change anything in my life, and that's what matters to me," Ávila decreed.
Indeed, he didn't care anymore. He had held on for too long, cared too much. There was no strength left inside him to keep putting up with it.
If that was what Yuri wanted, so be it!
...
Inside the movie theater, the dark and the cold ironically seemed to offer a certain comfort to the man. Kael was distracted and couldn't fully pay attention to the movie. The scenes of the horror film playing didn't even scare him, because in the end, his focus was almost entirely on the boy beside him.
He and Samuel, every now and then, whispered to each other, giggling softly as they joked around. Kael held the younger boy's hand the whole time, gently caressing his skin, warding off the usual chill of the movie theater. Occasionally Ávila would tilt his face a bit, receiving an affectionate kiss on the cheek from the curly-haired boy. Without realizing it, both ended up slipping into their own universe, creating a moment just for themselves.
Occasionally the friends passed the candy bags or the popcorn bucket around, sharing the food as they watched the feature. Next to Samuel were Pedro and Pabllyo, who, every time they noticed what was happening beside them, blatantly stared at the "couple." The Indigenous man was the most suspicious, mostly because he knew how his friend operated, but he didn't say anything. Next to Kael were Verônica, Léo, and Yuri, the latter who, in turn, being "closer" to the man, was forced to interact with him. Reluctantly, the boy handed the popcorn to Ávila, yet the older man gave him absolutely no attention or importance. He grabbed it without even looking at him, which seemed to bother Farias...
But Kael couldn't have cared less!
"Are you guys ever going to stop?" Pabllyo asked, whispering to Samuel and Kael when they started making too much noise.
"We aren't doing anything crazy," Ávila replied, laughing.
"Are you sure about that? I've got my eyes on you, huh!" Pedro said.
The two laughed at their friends' reaction, soon returning their attention to the movie.
As the movie's climax approached and the horror scenes became more constant, the soundtrack grew deafeningly loud, filling the room. Samuel jumped when he ended up getting caught by a jumpscare in the film, squeezing Kael's hand tightly. The older man turned his face in the dark and smiled, using his thumb to caress the back of the boy's hand, calming him. Novaes let out a nasal laugh, visibly embarrassed for having gotten scared and jumped in his seat.
Kael rested his head back on the chair, taking a deep breath. For the first time in weeks, maybe months, he wasn't walking on eggshells around someone. He wasn't calculating his words or terrified of being discarded the very next second. He felt a massive relief, even if there was still a trace of sadness in his heart. It didn't matter anymore. He was a resilient person and, with the support of someone who truly wanted him, he would wipe away any and all remnants of the bad feelings that plagued him.
When the screen finally went completely dark and the white credits started rolling up, the side lights of the theater gradually turned on, bursting the bubble of twilight that enveloped them. Samuel let go of Ávila's hand delicately, not out of rejection, but so they could gather their things. The movement in the row began. Yuri was one of the first to stand up, stretching in an exaggerated way, perhaps expecting Kael to look at him or make some comment about the movie, like always happened. It was a habit. An old tie.
But Kael didn't look.
The older man stood up calmly, brushing the popcorn crumbs off his pants and focusing his attention entirely on helping Samuel gather the candy wrappers they had left in the cup holders.
"Let's go, guys?" Léo called out, already walking down the carpeted steps toward the exit.
"Let's go, I need to hit the bathroom. That giant soda destroyed me," Pabllyo complained, making Pedro roll his eyes with a smile.
"Are we all heading home?" Léo asked upon grabbing his phone and seeing that it was already approaching eleven at night.
"I think so. The buses will stop running soon," Matheus reminded them.
"How are you getting home? Do you want me to pay for a motorcycle taxi for you?" Kael asked Samuel, ignoring the group's conversation.
"No need. I'm going to catch a bus or maybe a van," he answered, but the man wasn't satisfied.
"Are you sure, Samuel? It's getting late. Let me pay for you."
"No need, Ka..." he laughed. "I'll just take a van."
Finally Kael gave up. He didn't want to push it and seem annoying, even if he didn't want to let the younger boy walk around alone at that time of night. Ávila had this habit of caring too much, worrying too much, and with Samuel, it certainly wouldn't be any different.
The group soon headed out of the mall, saying their goodbyes and scattering, each heading in the direction they needed to go. Kael, Pedro, and Samuel walked over to one of the side streets where the transit vans that could take the younger boy close to his house passed by. Upon arriving, Samuel hugged Kael tightly, leaving a kiss on his cheek and thanking him for the night. Soon the younger boy walked away, leaving only the friends alone.
"I saw that in the theater, you know?" Pedro said, kicking a little pebble on the asphalt, his tone of voice heavy with curiosity and concern. "Samuel holding your hand the whole movie. Are you guys a thing?"
Kael kept walking with his head down, his hands buried deep in his jacket pockets. He stared at the lamplights reflecting on the ground and sighed.
"I don't think so..." Kael sighed, his voice calm, without defensiveness. "But I don't know... I liked today. He's cute, he's beautiful, he's really hot..." They both laughed, because, indeed, Samuel had a beautiful body.
"But...?" Pedro encouraged him to go on.
"But I still love Yuri, man. Unfortunately..."
"You should start investing in someone who's good for you, and Yuri hasn't been that person for a long time. I told you he wasn't worth it."
"And I should have listened to you."
"You didn't listen. But it happens. Now you have to move forward. And you can tell the seventeen-year-old likes you." Silva joked.
"Don't keep reminding me of his age, man..." Kael ran a hand over his face, embarrassed at the reminder that Samuel was seven years younger.
"At least he doesn't seem to be as immature as people his age," he emphasized. "I recommend you take it slow. Just... try not to hurt the kid."
"I won't. You know I won't."
Indeed, if Kael ended up building a relationship with Samuel, he knew that the last thing he would do was hurt him. He knew what it was like; he had already felt a lot of pain because of others, and that was definitely something he would never do to someone else...