[Gavin PoV]
I was born an orphan, fatherless. For six years, I lived with my mother, who worked as a baker in a shop owned by an acquaintance. My memories of her are faint because I was so young then. She passed away from an illness I didn't recognize. After her death, I was left utterly alone with no one to depend on, eventually ending up in a trash dump, scavenging for whatever scraps of food I could find.
However, a child as small as I was could not survive alone in a place like that. Within just a few days, I became extremely weak, unable to endure the hunger; my body was nothing but skin and bones because finding decent food was nearly impossible.
But then, someone approached me. He said, "You must work for me if you want to live." I nodded, having no idea where my life was headed as I followed him.
The man who rescued me gave me food, even if it was barely edible. At least, I could continue living.
Yet, fate turned against me once more.
The man took me to his residence and made me a servant, tasked with washing dishes and mopping his house in exchange for two pieces of bread a day. But it didn't stop there; the man was a frequent drunk and often subjected me to violence. Sometimes, the bruises from his strikes wouldn't fade for days.
My life was no better than before. I often cried, unable to endure this existence. Yet, I lacked the courage to end my own life.
I was only a boy...
One day, the man who took me in ordered me to buy him alcohol. Walking through the town square, I came to a halt. I saw a small child playing with his mother and father. That child was so happy, smiling and laughing with people who loved him. Not like me, living alone, accompanied only by a man who tormented me every day.
I wanted to be loved...
I wanted someone else to care for me...
I didn't want to be alone...
That was all I could think about after seeing that happy family.
Days passed, and the man who took me suddenly fell ill. His mouth was foaming, and his face turned blue. Not long after, he died, leaving the place I lived in with a foul stench. I couldn't move the corpse; my body was too small to drag a man that large.
However, shortly after he died, I was suddenly struck by a high fever. I could only lie there, weak, accompanied only by his corpse. At that time, I wondered if I would die just like him.
But fate spoke again. A man smelled the rot from outside and kicked in the door. He rescued me, still clinging to life, and brought me to where he and his friends stayed.
I was saved once again...
The man who rescued me lived in the forest; he was a member of a circus troupe called The Mushroom. For the first five days there, I watched them perform cool movements, amazing magic, and even read minds. They were incredible people.
Not only that, everyone there was kind to me. They gave me delicious food and a comfortable bed—a world away from my life with that drunkard. Every time they saw me, they would immediately approach to greet me and chat about anything. They always smiled at me, spoke gently, and never shouted at me once. Even when I accidentally broke things due to my clumsiness, they didn't get angry; instead, they comforted me while I cried.
As time passed—I was eight years old then—the affection and love everyone there felt for me grew even stronger. I never expected this day would come for me: a day where I could always smile, a day where my stomach didn't ache from hunger, and a day where my body wasn't cold from a poor bed.
Finally, I could feel what happiness was.
However, something happened that caused this happiness to vanish. There was a woman named Nana. She was very close to me; even after her work was done, she would immediately find me to spend time together. She was very kind, often buying me gifts and taking me for walks in the city. I was quite comfortable with her; she was quick to smile and very friendly. She even seemed to love me more than her own younger siblings.
But Nana wasn't the only one close to me. There was a man about the same age as Nana who was often with me while Nana was busy entertaining people at the circus show. His name was Vemir—the keeper of the animal cages. He was a kind and friendly man, though he didn't smile as easily as Nana. Nevertheless, spending time with him was very enjoyable for me. He was like the older brother I never had.
One night, I saw Nana walking alone with Vemir. I followed them and witnessed the event where the happiness I had known began to disappear.
"Only I am allowed to be Gavin's closest friend," Nana said.
After saying that, Nana suddenly stabbed Vemir in the neck multiple times, killing the man I had come to consider my own brother instantly.
At that moment, I was in total shock and could only stand there in silence. Both of them were the closest people I had ever known. I could only walk back to the circus grounds with a blank mind.
Why did this happen?
But as time went on, all the kind people at the circus began to fight with each other frequently. The source of their conflict was me. Everyone here loved me and always wanted to spend time with me. However, some often felt jealousy when someone else spent more time with me.
In the end, everyone built a cage for me, so that none of them could take me away and spend time with me exclusively.
After a few days in the cage, I realized that although they appeared to love and adore me, I no longer felt the warmth I had received when I first arrived. Their affection and love felt fake; all their words about me didn't seem to come purely from their hearts.
Currently, I live my days as usual, sitting in contemplation while reading a book inside this cage. I am only allowed out to use the latrine or to bathe.
"What book are you reading this time, Gavin?"
I heard a man ask me from the side. Looking toward the voice, I saw a black-haired man with his signature funny mustache. He was Jeor—the cleaner at this place. He had replaced Marilin, who had married someone from the city.
"A book about the love story of Princess Verena and the Great Knight Ramsey," I answered.
"Oh, it's rare to see you reading a romance," Jeor said. "Don't you usually read adventure stories?"
Because I often read about adventures, Jeor frequently came by to tell me adventure stories as well. For some reason, Jeor seemed to know so much about everything in this world when he told a tale. Honestly, I was more comfortable listening to the stories he told than reading these books.
"I don't know, Jeor. I feel like I'm longing for affection and love from someone else," I revealed.
"Aren't the people here always kind to you, Gavin?" Jeor asked. "Are you not happy receiving their affection?"
I sighed at his words and said, "Jeor, look over here. Do you see a child who is happy or one who is suffering?"
Jeor then observed me from my feet to my chest and up to my neck, but he did not continue toward my eyes. He was always like that when we talked; for some reason, he never looked into my eyes.
"What I see is a lonely boy," Jeor answered.
"Even though people have always cherished and loved me, I no longer feel the warmth of their affection," I told him. "Actually, what is affection, Jeor?"
Hearing my question, Jeor sat on the edge of my cage. "Affection isn't always about doing good things for someone. Love isn't only shown through smiles and spending time with the person you love."
Isn't that how affection and love are supposed to be shown? At least, that's what I've seen most often.
"You know, out there, there are many fathers who often hit their children," Jeor said. "Do you think this father loves his child?"
Hearing his words, I couldn't help but recall the bad memories of the first man who helped me. He always beat me when he was drunk. I shook my head in response to Jeor's question.
"Gavin, out there, many fathers strike their children. Do you know the reason?" Jeor asked again. "Out there, many mothers scold their children for making mistakes. Do you know why?"
Again, I shook my head. I was born an orphan and my mother died when I still knew nothing of the world. This left me understanding nothing of parental affection.
"A father hits his son so that he can survive out there when the father can no longer protect him," Jeor explained, sounding serious. "A mother constantly scolds her child when they make a mistake so that the child thinks about the consequences of every action they take and how it will impact them."
I thought back on the words Jeor had just spoken. Everything I knew about affection and love I had only gained from the people here. However, as I began to feel the loss of warmth in the affection and love they gave me, I started to doubt whether the experience I had with them was truly a form of real love.
"Affection and love take many forms, Gavin," Jeor said to me. "I am sure you will find it one day—the affection and love you have been searching for."
I hoped what Jeor said was true. However, I didn't think I would ever find it in this place.
"Hey, you! We told you never to speak to Gavin!"
Suddenly, several people arrived, pulled Jeor away, and kicked him until he lay on the ground.
"Didn't we warn you just yesterday? Was your punishment then not enough, hah!?"
The men began to kick Jeor's body. I saw him groan in pain, trying to protect his head with both hands.
"Stop it, Omor, Cleo, Braham, and the rest of you! Stop kicking Jeor!" I shouted at them.
"Don't worry, Gavin! I'll make sure he doesn't bother you again this time!" Braham said, then kicked Jeor's head quite hard.
"No, you're wrong! Please stop all of this!" I screamed louder while gripping the iron bars of the cage holding me.
But they didn't listen and instead continued to torture Jeor. The screams Jeor let out were like a knife slowly slicing my heart. This wasn't the first time this had happened; everyone who was kind to me here was always blinded by jealousy whenever someone else was with me. They always fought and brawled just to get my attention.
"Stop it, please stop!"
If this continued, Jeor would die. Tears began to soak my cheeks. All I could do was stay here and listen to Jeor's screams.
I didn't want this...
I couldn't take it anymore...
I would rather not have it at all...
If because of loving me you all kill people, it's better if I am not loved or cherished by you! It's better if I live alone without anyone caring about my life!
"Get away, all of you! Throw away your affection and love for me! I am sick of you all!"
After I spoke those words, the people who were torturing Jeor suddenly collapsed and lay unconscious on the ground.
"Huh? What actually happened?" I muttered in confusion.
Jeor appeared to be trying to stand up, his entire face covered in wounds from the kicks. He then walked slowly toward the cage where I was.
"Dismantle..."
Suddenly, the iron bars imprisoning me in this cage shattered as Jeor spoke those words.
"You can use magic, Jeor?" I asked him.
He didn't answer and instead looked into my eyes seriously. This was the first time he had done this. For nearly ten days here, the black-haired man with the funny mustache had never wanted to look at me directly.
"Listen to me, Gavin," the man said, holding both of my shoulders. "You are a Cursed Child."
Cursed Child? What was the meaning of his words?
"You possess an ability called Eternal Charm, which makes others like you the moment they look into your eyes," Jeor revealed. "What you just did to those people was a Dispel, making the Eternal Charm within them vanish along with their lives."
If what Jeor said was true, then I had killed these people... I had become a monster...
"Is that the reason you never looked into my eyes when we spoke?" I asked him.
"Exactly," Jeor answered. "However, after you used Dispel, your magic is automatically unusable for several hours."
"But how do you know all of this? Who are you really, Jeor?" I asked again.
"If you come with me, I will teach you how to control this power," Jeor said, stepping back away from me. "You aren't the only one who received the power of a Cursed Child. In our place, there are several children who have cases just like yours."
Once again, I was saved by a man. I didn't know if my life would be better or not from here. However, if I didn't face my current problems, I would never find what I had been searching for all this time.
"Alright, I will follow you, Jeor."