Chapter 24
Nathan's POV
A few hours later—
I was lying on my bed, trying to finish an assignment.
The door opened.
It was Zane.
"Hey," he said with a smile.
I looked up and smiled back.
He walked over and sat at the edge of the bed beside my legs.
Then he pressed a light kiss to my foot.
I shifted instinctively.
Very slightly. But he noticed.
Still, he smiled like it didn't bother him.
"What you doing?" he asked.
"Just finishing an assignment," I replied, sitting up a little straighter.
"What is it?"
"A self-sketch."
"Hm."
He leaned closer.
"Can I see?"
"Not yet," I said quickly.
He laughed softly.
Then reached up, brushing a strand of hair away from my face.
He was close. Too close.
He leaned in slightly—
and without thinking, I moved back.
The moment I did—
his expression changed.
Not hurt exactly. But something close to it.
"I have to finish this," I said quickly, standing up from the bed. "It's due tomorrow."
Silence.
Then—
"Are you scared of me?"
I looked at him.
"What?"
"I said are you scared of me?"
"Why would you ask that?"
He gave a small laugh, but it sounded strained.
"Because ever since we started dating… you act like you are."
I stayed quiet.
"Every time I touch you, you flinch."
His voice stayed calm.
"I understand wanting to take things slow. I really do."
He looked at me carefully.
"But sometimes it feels like you think I'm all alone here."
"No," I said immediately. "It's not like that, I just…"
I trailed off.
Because I didn't know how to explain it.
He studied me for a moment.
Then frowned slightly.
"What…"
His eyes narrowed a little.
"Is this your first relationship?"
I froze.
I don't know why—
but suddenly it felt easier to let him believe that.
Maybe because the truth felt uglier.
I decided not to say anything.
"Really?"
He looked genuinely surprised.
"I didn't know that."
He stood up slowly. Then sighed.
"I'm sorry."
I looked at him.
"I think I understand now," he said softly.
Then he stepped closer.
"But I don't want you pulling away every time I move closer."
His hand found mine gently.
"I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want."
I looked at him.
And guilt twisted painfully in my chest.
He was too good to me.
Too patient. Too understanding.
He deserved someone better than this.
"Can I hug you?" he asked quietly.
I forced a small smile and nodded.
Then he pulled me into his arms.
And all I could think was—
I felt terrible for him.
----
Few weeks later
Nathan's POV
The riding club was enormous.
Everything about it screamed money.
From the polished wooden fences, to the massive stables, to the people dressed in elegant riding outfits like they had walked out of a magazine.
I stood awkwardly beside Zane as he adjusted the strap on his gloves.
"You look terrified," he said laughing.
"I am terrified," I admitted, staring at the horse in front of me.
The thing looked huge.
Zane laughed again.
"It's just a horse, babe. Relax."
Easy for him to say.
He probably had been riding since he was boy.
Meanwhile I was trying not to embarrass myself.
Kieran stood a few feet away speaking to some men and girls around his age, the girls looks like they were here for him alone with the way they giggle at his every word. Bianca had said this club was mainly for young girls to snag their prince charming, and she was right.
The brunette girl on his right was trying hard, she had too much cleavage showing.
I looked away quickly before he noticed me staring.
"Alright," Zane said clapping his hands once. "First things first—"
Before he could continue, his phone rang.
He frowned.
"Hold on."
He answered the call, walking a little away from me.
His expression slowly changed.
Then he sighed.
"You're kidding."
I shifted awkwardly.
He ended the call and walked back.
"I need to go for a bit."
"Oh."
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Jasmine's car broke down on the highway and she's freaking out."
I nodded.
"It's fine."
He looked hesitant.
Then his eyes shifted behind me.
"Kieran," he called. I turned.
Kieran walked toward us slowly, one hand in his pocket.
"What?"
"I gotta go pick jasmine, her car broke down."
Kieran looked at me. Then at Zane.
"Oh, you want me to come with you?"
"Nah, it's fine just do one favour for me man, can you teach him till I come I back?"
I shifted. Kieran looked at me.
"Sure"
"Thanks," Zane said. "I'll be back soon."
"Hm"
"Ok, be careful," Zane grinned.
Then he squeezed my hand a little.
"Don't fall off the horse while I'm gone."
And just like that, he left.
Silence settled between me and Kieran.
I suddenly felt awkward.
Kieran looked at the horse.
Then at me.
"You've never ridden before?"
I shook my head.
"Hm."
That was all he said before walking toward the horse.
"Come here."
I followed him quietly.
He adjusted the saddle absentmindedly.
"Put your foot there," he instructed.
I tried. Failed. He sighed. I felt a little bit embarrassed.
"You're holding the reins too tightly."
"Sorry."
"You apologize too much."
Before I could react, he stepped behind me.
His hand covered mine lightly.
"Relax your grip."
His voice was calm.
Patient.
I could feel the warmth of him behind me.
"Like this," he said quietly.
I swallowed. Then nodded.
He helped me mount the horse carefully.
When I wobbled slightly, his hand immediately steadied my waist.
"Focus."
"I am focusing."
"No you're not."
I looked down embarrassed.
A small smirk tugged at his lips.
For the next few minutes, he taught me slowly.
Surprisingly patiently.
Whenever I got something right, he nodded slightly.
"Better."
And stupidly enough—
that small praise made me feel oddly proud.
By the time we stopped, I was actually smiling.
He noticed and was smiling as well.
I blinked.
Then quickly looked away.
Not far away, I noticed Chris and my mom speaking with a few others.
His eyes landed briefly on us.
Then he laughed.
Someone said something of how Kieran had been more responsible.
"Well," he said loud enough for everyone nearby to hear, "I guess having a baby brother really does change people."
They all chuckled.
I froze.
My smile disappeared immediately.
I glanced towards Mom instinctively.
Her face had gone pale.
She forced out a smile, but her eyes found mine immediately.
Sharp. Warning.
My stomach tightened.
"I need to use the bathroom," I muttered quickly.
I walked fast.
The quiet hallway near the restroom was empty.
I leaned against the wall.
A few seconds later—
Mom appeared.
"Nathan."
I straightened immediately.
"Mom…"
"You never listen."
"He was just teaching me—"
"Why are you so selfish?"
I stared at her.
"Why do you keep ruining everything?" she continued, her voice lowering. "I've done everything I can to build a good life for us, and you just keep—"
"It's not like that."
"That's exactly what you said before everything went wrong."
Her words hit like a slap.
"You think I don't see it happening again?" she asked.
My throat tightened.
"Mom—"
"No," she snapped. "I won't let you ruin my life again."
I went still.
"Because that's all you've done ever since you were born."
Silence.
Then quietly—
almost like she hadn't meant to say it—
"I wish I never had you."
My breath caught.
"You… you don't mean that," I whispered, almost inaudibly.
For a second, something flickered across her face.
Regret.
But it vanished just as quickly.
"You need to stop this before Chris notices," she said coldly.
I looked down quickly.
My vision blurred instantly.
Silence.
Then she stepped back.
"Fix yourself, Nathan."
And she walked away.
The moment she disappeared—
I broke.
A sob escaped before I could stop it.
I covered my mouth quickly, my shoulders shaking violently.
She didn't mean that. I repeated trying to convinced myself
Why couldn't I just be normal?
I wiped at my face furiously.
Then froze.
Footsteps.
I looked up quickly.
Kieran stepped out from behind the corner.
My chest tightened.
How long had he been there?
I quickly wiped my eyes.
But it was useless. He had seen.
Neither of us spoke.
Then slowly—
he held out a handkerchief toward me.
I stared at it. Then took it quietly.
Kieran sat down on the bench nearby without saying anything.
I looked at him. He still said nothing.
No mocking. No questions. Nothing.
I stood there awkwardly before finally sitting beside him.
Silence.
Then suddenly—
he reached out.
My breath caught.
His thumb brushed lightly beneath my eye.
Wiping away a tear I missed.
I stared at him in shock.
He seemed to realize what he'd done too.
Because he immediately pulled his hand back and shoved it into his pocket.
"You should wash your face before going back," he muttered.
I nodded quietly.
Then walked into the restroom.
When I came back out a few minutes later—
he was still there waiting.
"Come on," he said standing up.
I looked at him.
"Thank you," I said softly.
"Hm."
That was all he replied.
We walked back together.
But before entering the crowd again, I looked back once.
Kieran was still standing there.
Watching me.