"Then please keep learning for a bit longer, Miss Nozawa."
After saying that, she didn't look back, pulling me forward with all her might, her steps light and full of joy.
The closer we got to the school gate, the more the crowd gathered. The Jikei University School of Medicine, which usually leaned toward a serious style, had become a gathering place for trendy, beautiful girls on this Christmas day. As a world-class top university, it naturally wouldn't fall behind others when it came to celebrating holidays.
Before entering the school, Kusanagi showed a document to the head of campus security and whispered something before leading me smoothly into the campus.
I noticed her covering the screen with her hand, a gesture to prevent me from seeing, and instantly remembered what Mori Reiko had said.
Recalling her words about how "getting into The Jikei University School of Medicine is extremely difficult," and those small thoughts speculating on Kusanagi's feelings, my heart clearly skipped a beat.
"Let's go!" The young girl tightly took my hand. Her bright, dark eyes were filled with a beautiful mist, her black hair danced wildly by her ears, and an undisguised smile was on her face.
I was dazed by her beauty for a moment, feeling that now was not the time to ask.
With Christmas approaching, a massive Christmas tree decorated with no fewer than 400 bulbs had been erected in the center of the Jikei campus. It could be seen from afar at the school gate. I hadn't expected the Christmas atmosphere at this institution to be so intense; after a moment of surprise, I couldn't help but pull out my phone to start taking photos.
This is just too spectacular.
Seeing my eyes full of joy, the girl beside me secretly pursed her lips and also took out her phone to take photos in a proper manner.
There were two giant Christmas trees, located respectively on either side of the main and secondary teaching buildings; the symmetrical and harmonious beauty added a sense of solemnity to the holiday.
The main teaching building of Jikei had a massive electronic display board that recounted stories about Christmas. From the Sunday four weeks before December 25th until December 24th, the period is known as Advent, a festival signifying the wait for the Lord's arrival. Before this, the faculty and students would begin preparing for the annual Advent lighting ceremony. Judging from the photos on the screen, the scene was packed with people—truly a solemn and grand spectacle. It was a wonderful sense of ritual; the history of this lighting ceremony and the Christmas tree decorations can be traced back to 1961, making it a relatively modern Japanese custom.
Additionally, on Christmas Day, the candle-lighting ceremony, the choir, the marching band, and opera performances are the core of the holiday, truly pushing the atmosphere to its peak.
I had never seen such a spectacle and felt like I couldn't take it all in, my eyes constantly sweeping over every eye-catching brilliance. We arrived a bit late, and the choir had already been swallowed by the crowd. A high-pitched, stirring instrumental piece resonated through the night sky from the center, later shifting into a dignified and elegant melody, like a true hymn scattering sacred starlight onto the masses.
The students surrounded the group and sang along softly, gentle and quiet. It was a song with a slightly sad melody and lyrics, seemingly singing about the atmosphere of being alone, sounding somewhat melancholy.
"What song is this? A Christmas song?" I turned my head and asked Kusanagi.
"Christmas Eve, sung by Yamashita Tatsuro. It used to be a very popular song." The tips of her soft black hair hung by her ear; she felt a bit of an itch and rubbed it gently.
I resisted the urge to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Why would they sing such a lonely song on Christmas?"
"Because this singer is quite pitiful; he has no one to spend Christmas with. So listen, his lyrics go: 'The rain will turn to snow late at night, you surely won't be coming!'"
"That does sound a bit pitiful." I couldn't help but chuckle.
"One of the lines he sings is about a Christmas spent all alone, without a loved one to accompany him, so of course it seems very desolate."
"Does Christmas have to be spent with someone you like?" I asked.
"Generally, people want to, right? Who wouldn't want to be with the person they like..." The girl suddenly trailed off, her eyelashes fluttering, her slender shoulders hunching up as she hurriedly changed the subject: "...But it's not necessarily the case. Many people spend Christmas with friends or family, too. It's not set in stone."
She didn't seem to realize she had repeated the same thing twice; usually, people only subconsciously emphasize and repeat themselves when they are lying.
I gave a faint smile and didn't reply further.
Being able to come to The Jikei University School of Medicine was my dream, and Kusanagi had made it come true for me. Calling it a dream was no exaggeration; it would have been a great regret to miss it, but standing here now and experiencing its charm, that regret seemed to be somewhat compensated for.
I didn't know what words to use to thank her, or what I could do in return to show my gratitude.
I didn't know what I should do to live up to her expectations.
The girl seemed to sense my guilt. She pointed at the giant Christmas tree not far away and quickly changed the subject: "It looks like there are stairs over there to go up!"
"Hmm?" I was pulled back from my thoughts. "Go up for what?"
"We can see the top of the Christmas tree from the highest floor. Look, so many people are lining up over there. Hurry, hurry!" Without another word, Kusanagi grabbed me and ran over excitedly.
Sure enough, there were many people lining up to take photos under the giant Christmas tree of the main teaching building. Right next to it was the entrance, where a bustling crowd was moving forward. There were six floors in total; from the top, one should be able to see the entire campus panorama and, naturally, take in the whole Christmas tree.
Students were handing out flyers at the entrance. If you went to the rooftop before midnight, you could receive a mysterious gift. Consequently, many students were enthusiastically lining up back and forth so they could get double gifts.
Kusanagi and I lined up one after the other. It was very crowded, and we were pressed close together. Worried that she might lack the physical strength as she did last time at Senso-ji Temple, I intentionally kept my arm up to separate her from the crowd. After a while, I noticed that although her face was flushed, she was in high spirits. Her slender waist was constantly swaying near my hand, and the tips of her curly, dark hair were playful, fluttering behind her ears.
The line moved quickly. The male college students in front of us were chattering as they took their gifts, laughing excitedly. I caught a glimpse of the gift boxes in their hands, decorated with white packaging, but I couldn't guess what was inside.
"Welcome to the Student Life Guidance Department! Please register your name, age, and class here. After registering, please turn left to collect your exclusive gift~"
A male student dressed in a Santa Claus costume was enthusiastically introducing their services, but his gaze was a bit strange, playfully sizing me up. I looked back at him unceremoniously, feeling that his gaze was somewhat rude, especially when he looked at Kusanagi.
Once registration was finished, Kusanagi was about to collect a gift with me, but she was hurriedly stopped by the boy in the Santa suit.
"Hey, hey, hello. Are you two together?"
"Yes." I had thought he was a bit strange and even a little sleazy from the start.
"Uh, she's a minor, so she probably won't be able to receive a gift." The boy scratched the back of his head awkwardly, his tone embarrassed and a bit apologetic.
What kind of gift can't a minor receive?
"She can't receive it?"
"That's right. There's an age limit for this, so she definitely can't get one."
This successfully piqued my curiosity. What kind of gift was so mysterious that a minor wasn't allowed to receive it? Just as I was about to ask him again, the girl beside me, seeing that we were delaying the people behind us, proactively let go of my hand.
"It's okay, I'll wait for you downstairs."
"Okay." I cast a strange look at the boy and found him gossiping with another student in a low voice, laughing as he spoke.
A bit annoyed. I glared at the male student, turned left, and entered a small room with a curtain. Under the frequent gazes of those around me, I successfully obtained the small white gift box.
Weren't they all lining up for gifts? What was there to look at? I became even more confused, but only then did I realize that most of the people lining up for the mysterious gifts were boys; there were almost no girls in the line. Unable to stop myself from speculating, what exactly was inside?
I looked at the white gift box in my hand and casually tore open the packaging. A cute "baby-stop-breathing-bag" was lying in my palm, with the words "Happy Christmas 'Night'" written on it.
...
Is this how The Jikei University School of Medicine welcomes me? I rubbed my temples as a delayed sense of embarrassment washed over me, and my face instantly turned bright red.
So the look in that boy's eyes meant: "Wow, what a proactive and open woman~"
You could have at least warned me! I clearly look like a foreigner! I had even glared at him several times. Why didn't I notice that it was all guys in line? Why didn't I notice that the word "mysterious" in "mysterious gift" was in quotation marks? Why didn't I understand that "Life Guidance" was a very subtle euphemism?
I quickly wanted to throw away the hot potato in my hand, but damn it, there wasn't a single trash can on this entire sixth floor. Did the Japanese obsession with cleanliness have to be so poorly timed?
Left with no choice, I crumpled the white gift box into a ball, hurriedly stuffed it into my coat pocket, and then rushed downstairs.
"Did you get the gift?" The beautiful girl, standing out from the crowd, jogged over to ask me.
"No, they were all gone by the time it was my turn." I looked away. Even thick winter clothes couldn't hide Kusanagi's beauty; she was extremely recognizable among the crowd.
Facing this beautiful face, lying felt very guilt-inducing. It seemed she didn't know what the gift was, which ruled out the possibility of her playing a prank on me. It was truly hard to talk about, especially in front of Kusanagi.
"That's a bit of a pity. There must have been too many people." Kusanagi shook the plastic bag in her hand, her fair jawline tilting slightly. "But while I was waiting for you, someone gave me this."
I looked closely. The bag in her hand contained water, paper, and a pen printed with the Jikei logo, as well as a souvenir T-shirt. Spreading it out slightly, the material was high-quality cotton, and the blue logo was bright and distinct. Is this the benefit of having good looks?
"Who gave it to you?" What I actually wanted to ask was: was it a girl or a boy?
"Right there, that man in the black down jacket."
I looked in the direction she pointed. A young male student with thick eyebrows and large eyes was waving at us. He was tall with long limbs, a handsome guy who looked popular at first glance. However, he seemed to know he was handsome; his hair was meticulously styled back, looking a bit too boastful.
The girl's tone was nonchalant, yet carried a hint of deliberation. "He asked if I was alone and invited me to go out for a late-night snack later."
"Do you think I should go?"
She suddenly threw the question back at me. Eating with a stranger was fundamentally unreliable; what kind of answer was she hoping for from me?
My thoughts spun in circles, but finally, I softened my expression and said, "It's not safe late at night, and hitting on someone like that is quite frivolous. But go if you want to."
"Then I'm really going." One couldn't tell if the girl's cold voice was serious or not.
I stared at her face, my heart beginning to fluctuate. Seeing her looking truly indifferent, I couldn't help but add: "...But that person looks like a playboy. He must have just taken an interest because you're beautiful. There's no telling what he might do. You... you'd better not go."
Kusanagi seemed to have been waiting to see me anxiously trying to stop her. She suppressed a smile, her narrow, dark eyes sparkling.
"So Miss Nozawa also thinks I'm beautiful."
That's actually her focus?
I was speechless. This obvious fact, when spoken from my mouth, became something extraordinary to her? I wouldn't fall into her trap anymore; this girl had gone through all this trouble just to see my reaction.
I lowered my head and walked forward slowly, keeping some distance from her. "Miss Kusanagi, whether I agree or not isn't important."
AI Model: gemini-3.1-flash-lite
"Of course it's important. After all, I was the one who spotted these things in his hands first, thinking Miss Nozawa would like them."
Thinking I would like them, so she accepted a stranger's pick-up attempt? I certainly do like these souvenirs printed with the Jikei logo, but if she were to accept a boy's pick-up attempt, I would be ten thousand times unwilling in my heart.
Before I could think it over, Kusanagi pulled me under the Christmas tree. That area had a lot of foot traffic, but finally, a spot opened up.
The T-shirt was short-sleeved; it was impossible to wear it in the middle of winter, so she held it up with one hand and raised her phone high with the other.
"Miss Nozawa, you've written your liking for this all over your face."
Kusanagi could see that I really liked the merchandise from The Jikei University School of Medicine, but due to some awkward factors, I was unwilling to accept it, so she semi-forcibly picked up the T-shirt and quickly snapped a photo with the front camera.
"If you like something, you should say it openly."
While I was still dazed, Kusanagi brought the photo over to show me.
"Look! The Christmas tree behind us is so beautiful!"
In the photo, she and I were each holding a T-shirt, with the massive, brilliant, warm, and bright lights of the Christmas tree behind us. The Jikei logo was right by my chin, making me look very slim, my face thin and fair, my expression gentle. The young girl beside me had dark, bright eyes, her imposing brows and eyes smiling, her jade-white jawline raised arrogantly; even if it didn't capture a tenth of her beauty, it was enough to leave one stunned at a glance.
It wasn't just the Christmas tree that was beautiful. I couldn't help but glance at it several times; Kusanagi's presence made this ordinary photo exceptionally vivid, lively, clear, and pretty.
Very happy, very much liked—this photo was full of things I liked. This is our first photo together, right?
An unspeakable joy bubbled up and swirled in my heart. After a long while, I quietly said: "Yeah, it was taken very beautifully."
"Let's take a few more." The young girl's eyes were brimming with smiles. "You didn't have any expression; you looked so dazed."
"Huh? Okay..." I tried hard to calm my emotions, being posed back and forth by her like an ornament, and we took several pictures in different poses.
Finally, she chose her favorite one and put away her phone with satisfaction, not forgetting to mutter softly: "Chinese people are so good-looking..."
Kusanagi's voice was low and deep; I often couldn't hear her murmurs, but this time I did. Compared to her, I could hardly be considered good-looking. The young girl's beauty was enough to make everything around her pale in comparison.
"I do indeed like this T-shirt, Miss Kusanagi," I said. "Thank you for giving it to me." Feeling uncomfortable with this rare frankness, I lowered my gaze and touched the bridge of my nose.
Kusanagi's tone was light and cheerful. "You're welcome. This is what you call, what was it again, 'borrowing flowers to offer to Buddha'."
Her Chinese was becoming more and more proficient. 'Love me, love my dog', 'borrowing flowers to offer to Buddha'—she must have been secretly studying, right?
I unconsciously turned my head. Why would Kusanagi want to learn Chinese? I didn't want to delve too deeply into the reasons behind it.
Walking around the main building and heading inside, the noisy crowd gradually receded. Even the most excellent university students needed to indulge in leisure, so the teaching building seemed even more deserted. Yet, there was still starlight glittering, dotting the lights of the lecture halls. A small group of people wouldn't even let Christmas pass by, perseveringly pursuing academic perfection, hunched over their desks in the classroom, and the professor was happy to lecture.
This sparsely attended class was teaching a field I had never come into contact with: Microbiology and Immunology.
This professor's angle of teaching was very novel, and he could make every physiological node vivid, humorous, and interesting. It was a pity that because there weren't many people, he didn't turn on the PPT, nor did he make notes on the blackboard.
Slipping into the large classroom through the crack of the back door, I sat in the last row. I was very interested in this knowledge, and before I knew it, class was over.
"Was the class too boring?" I was too embarrassed to look at her. I had only intended to listen a little, but I hadn't expected to listen for over half an hour. She probably had no interest in this and must have found it very boring, right?
"Not at all." The young girl tilted her head and cupped her face, her pupils staring deeply at me. "Miss Nozawa is a doctor herself, so it's normal to be interested in this kind of academics. Isn't that the very reason you like The Jikei University School of Medicine?"
"Yes, that's right." I lowered my eyes in embarrassment.
"Besides, you look at the blackboard, and I'll just look at you."
She actually didn't feel bored, and even said she was looking—looking at me? I was speechless and asked in confusion: "Why would you want to look at me?"
Time went quiet for a few seconds; all around were the rustling sounds of students packing up books and pens, and bags opening. I don't know why, but the young girl's quiet, steady gaze made me feel like I had asked an idiotic question.
I had no choice but to ask again, "Huh?"
Kusanagi avoided my gaze, her tone a bit unsteady: "Because you, you blockhead, are good-looking."
Before her words had even finished, all the lights in the conference hall classroom suddenly went out.
It turned out that after class, the last student to leave hadn't noticed us in the back row and had followed school rules to turn off the lights and close the door. Fortunately, they hadn't locked it, just closed it.
In the empty classroom, there was only the starlight of the night and the swirling cold air winding around us.
My look of astonishment was still on my face as I forcibly analyzed the meaning of her words, feeling an indescribable, unclear atmosphere in this interminable darkness.
For the first time, I felt there was something wrong with my comprehension.
The young girl's restlessness, annoyance, and even a bit of anger were all contained in that sentence. I thought of the feelings buried deep inside that shouldn't exist, the reasons I had subconsciously been avoiding, and sighed deeply.
"I am not good-looking."
"I think you are."
"Opposites attract, likes repel. We are both girls, so what does 'good-looking' even have to do with anything?"
"Miss Nozawa is many times better-looking than the average woman, and you are also the most learned person I have ever met."
"There are many people with graduate degrees, especially Chinese people; there are far more than just me. There are still many people more outstanding than me; you will meet them when you grow up."
"But the person I met right now is Miss Nozawa, not someone else." The young girl's tone was clearly unhappy. "And I don't want to meet anyone else."
"... This isn't a question of whether you want to or not."
"I only want to meet you."
I was silent for a long time. I even wanted to turn around and leave; my head felt light, as if I were stepping on cotton, and my heart couldn't panic any further.
It's not the meaning I understood. It definitely isn't.
"Miss Kusanagi, have you ever read a book? It's called To Kill a Mockingbird." I lowered my eyes, my voice very low.
"You can never truly understand a person until you put on their shoes and walk around, standing in their perspective to think about problems. But when you truly walk their path, even just passing through makes you feel sad. Sometimes what you see is not the truth of the matter; what you understand is merely the tip of the iceberg floating on the water."
"Your countless interpretations and readings of me do not constitute even one ten-thousandth of me, but they do reveal all of you."
"There is a person," I paused, "who drifts with the tide and is actually very mediocre. Every decision she seems to make is beneficial to her life, but in reality, she doesn't understand why she does it, or why she chooses it. The reason for liking something is also surprisingly simple: just because parents or relatives said it was good, that's all. So she arbitrarily treats it as a goal, arbitrarily puts in effort, and if she changes goals, she does the same. There is no one she cannot do without. Similarly, she is indecisive and cannot be firmly chosen by others."
The young girl's eyes flickered. She looked at me, her eyes shimmering and clear, yet fragile like glass.
"What do you mean?"
I looked back at her and said softly: "That person is me."
"Studying abroad in Japan was just something I grabbed at a certain point in time. I thought it was quite good and very suitable to be a dream, so I just did it. Later, as time went by, I got used to treating it as a dream. It didn't matter if it wasn't realized; anyway, there were backups. Because I know that besides dreams, there are many things in the world that one likes and wants, but cannot obtain."
"Perhaps it's because I lost too many things when I was a child; I don't know how I formed this personality." I smiled, feeling a bit embarrassed to say these things. "I can only turn things I don't like into things I like, and then pretend to like them. After a long time, I can no longer distinguish whether I like or hate them, and I can no longer face the things I truly like."
She looked at me silently, the light in her eyes flickering violently.
"Saying all this, I just wanted to tell Miss Kusanagi," I said, lowering my head, "... there's no need to care about someone who can't even decide her own life."
The young girl listened silently, her gaze locked onto me. Afterward, her lips parted slightly, but she swallowed back the words she wanted to say.
"Is this all you wanted to say?"
"Not just this." I let out a breath and scanned the classroom walls; the paint was peeling in patches due to age.
"I was really happy today, but besides the happiness, there was also worry. Even if Miss Kusanagi didn't say it, well, I knew. I know how difficult it is to enter The Jikei University School of Medicine, even just for a visit. And for the first time, I knew what it felt like to realize a dream, even though it wasn't by my own effort, but through Miss Kusanagi's help."
"Why are you suddenly saying this?" Kusanagi finally couldn't hold back. She stood up and tugged at my hand, forcing me to face her. "What have you found out?"
"So," I took a deep breath, and the words that had been pent up in my heart were finally out: "... Why do you have to go to such lengths because of me?"
A profound, seemingly thousand-threaded emotion, in the empty night, had a heaviness that could drown everything, and a sense of nakedness as if revealing something hidden.
We stared at each other. I saw her stunned expression, and my palms felt slightly hot.
My gaze swept over her face inch by inch, my heart in my throat. I myself was stunned by this question; after a long time of confusion and inability to predict her answer, my heart was still beating nervously, hoping she would give a negative answer. It must not be what Mori Reiko said, right? She must have some other reason she hadn't told me.
Time tossed and turned here, almost coming to a standstill.
I hoped she would say, "You misunderstood," or "Actually, for me, it was just a small effort," and then take the chance to mock me.
But she didn't say anything.
The look she gave me had an astonishing heat, spreading with an incredibly scalding temperature, staring straight at me. I couldn't describe that kind of gaze; it was as if something was boiling and breaking through the ground, devouring me.
"It's just a Christmas gift." Kusanagi's trembling tone showed that she wasn't as calm as she seemed—just like me, no, even more nervous than me.
"This gift is too precious," I said slowly. "I cannot accept it."
Kusanagi pursed her lips and hesitated for a few seconds. Just when she wanted to say something else, a blinding flashlight beam suddenly shone in.
The security guard outside the window shouted loudly: "Students inside! The lights are out and the building is closed; please return to your dorms as soon as possible!"
Both she and I were stunned. The atmosphere had been too suffocating, and the sudden sound forced both our thoughts back to reality.
"Thank you for the reminder; we are leaving now."