"Some people say an early breakfast is best. I eat late to stay full longer."
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I wake to the blinding rays of the morning sun. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I pick my clothes for the day. I don't want to wear a dress today. I want to wear some pants, and maybe a pretty top. Anything to forget last night.
But I can't.
Last night, Mamma came home late, with bruises on her arms and her face pale. What did Father do to her? I couldn't ask her, and when she noticed me looking, she immediately covered it up, looking unconcerned. She forced a smile for me to see, and rubbed my head, asking if I was ready for bed. I clung to her, hugging her tightly as she patted my back. She gently hummed a soothing song, and I yawned.
'Go to bed, sweetie,' she said gently.
'But Mamma…'
'Bed. Now.'
'…Okay…'
I could barely sleep last night. All that ran through my mind were the bruises I saw on Mamma's arms. Why did Father hurt her? Why are we the only ones excluded from the rest of the family?
Mamma did nothing wrong, so why is Father so adamant that she did? Why doesn't he believe her?
She always says Father loves us, but I've never seen his love. I've only seen his ruthlessness and coldness. The hatred in his eyes.
I no longer believe in his love, and I no longer want it. I want him to suffer, but Mamma wouldn't want that.
Dressed, I leave my room, ready to face the day. Brace myself for what's coming. Breakfast with Brother Xander will be fine, but anything can happen after that. My stomach grumbles a little. Food at the hospital was plentiful, but now I'll have to get used to barely eating again. I can't remember the last time I was chronically hungry. Even Asmodeus wouldn't stop feeding me in fear the servants would gossip. Not that he cared much when he was off with Frostine.
Heading toward the dining room, I was excited about seeing Mamma again. Just remembering that she's still alive made me giddy despite the reservations I had about last night. The southern wing is quiet, as usual, dust in the air shimmering in the morning light. Walking into the dining room, Mamma is already there with Brother Xander. The maids, attentive to Brother Xander, pull out the chair for me at his signal.
'Good morning, Mamma. Brother Xander.'
'Good morning, Adira,' Mamma smiles.
'Morning, Adi,' Brother Xander grins. 'How was your night?'
'Quiet,' I sigh.
'That's good. Did you sleep well?'
'Not really.' I glance at Mamma. 'I was a little nervous being back in my own bed after so long.'
'I get that,' Brother Xander says, looking concerned. 'Well, I got my maids to bring breakfast for us this morning.'
He claps his hands, and his maids come walking in with steaming plates of food.
'Brother Xander, that's too much!' I gasp.
'You're too skinny, Adi. You need to eat more. You promised.'
'I know, but not this much! I can't eat so much.'
'I thought you'd be starving. It's late morning, after all.'
'And?' I ask, looking confused. 'What's wrong with it being late in the morning?'
'You should be eating breakfast earlier, Adi.'
'Brother Xander,' I say, seriously. 'An early breakfast fills the morning. A late breakfast fills the day. You should know that.'
I raise my chin and stare him down before we giggle.
'Well, we don't want the food to get cold, so eat up.'
'Mamma, have some sausages,' I say, passing her some food.
'Thank you, sweetie,' she says gently.
She takes the plate and tongs, serving herself a nice helping. I then serve myself. Bacon, sausage, some bread, a tomato, some mushrooms and spinach, and an omelette.
I don't really like tomatoes, but Mamma is very strict about having a balanced meal. Tomatoes help fight diseases, she would say, not that I'd know if it were true or not. Healing magic is all we need to fix diseases and wounds. Not that it works on things like poison or curses. Those need a unique magic if you want them cured. But that's a rare ability.
As for picking the omelette instead of a sunny-side up egg, I can't eat eggs too much. The yolk makes me sick, so I try to stick to omelettes or scrambled if I can.
I'm glad Mamma is eating normally for now. She needs to stay healthy, and I need to protect her from being poisoned. My deadline is in two months.
'You alright, Adi?' Brother Xander asks, concerned.
I blink a few times, realising I'd stopped eating and tightened my grip on my utensils. I quickly relax.
'Oh, I'm fine, Brother Xander. I was just thinking about something.'
'What were you thinking of?' He asks. 'You kinda looked mad.'
'…Well, I was thinking about how the maids haven't been dusting the dining room well enough recently,' I laugh.
He nods seriously.
'You're right. They should be doing a better job. Do you want me to change them for you?'
'But, I don't know if those new maids will do any better than the current maids,' I sigh.
'Staff these days,' he sighs as well. 'How about this? I'll keep an eye out for excellent maids and then transfer them over to you. Will that do?'
New maids? Brother Xander, new maids will never fix this mess. Even the new maids will be spies for Father's other wives.
'That's alright, Brother Xander. My concern was mixed with being hangry. I'll feel better once I've eaten.'
He stares at me before slowly nodding.
'Alright. If you say so.' He doesn't believe me.
'How's your Kingship studies, Brother Xander? Are they going well?'
'Well, I'm doing alright, but Father says I should do better. Like Brother Alaric.'
'Brother Alaric? But he's twenty!'
'Yes, but apparently Brother Alaric was well ahead of me by the time he was twelve.'
'That's not fair. Brother Alaric's literally the perfect prince. There's no way you'd be the same as him, let alone understand things the same way he does. You have your own gifts.' I frown.
'I guess, but Mother has high hopes for me. According to her, since Brother Milan is a disappointment, she needs to place her hopes in Brother Alaric and me so that she has the best chance of one of her sons taking the throne.'
'You're doing a good job, Brother Xander. I'm sure you'll be fine. Don't worry about being as good as Brother Alaric. I swear he has a photographic memory or something.'
'Yeah, but I'm not good at anything. Brother Alaric is good at Kingship studies. Brother Murdoch is a lost cause, but even he has Father's support sometimes. Brother Leod and Brother Brutus both excel at fighting. Brother Clement is the legal expert, Brother Rai and Brother Milan are great with magic and Brother Sandor is friends with literally everyone. I'm not good at anything.'
Screech.
We look to Mamma as she stands.
'Thank you, Ninth Prince Alexander, for breakfast. I'll leave you and Adira to finish off your meals.'
Brother Xander stands up and bows.
'It was my pleasure, Lady Cardinia. I hope to see you again.'
With a swish of her gorgeous blue dress, Mamma leaves the dining room. Sitting down again, Brother Xander sighs.
'Sorry, Adi. You're only ten, but you're always listening to me complain.'
'That's alright, Brother Xander. I have nothing to do, and you're constantly under pressure. I don't mind if you complain a little. It makes me feel like I'm helping you.'
Brother Xander smiles warmly.
'I'm so glad you're my sister.'
'I'm glad you're my big brother,' I beam.
Finishing up breakfast, Brother Xander orders the maids to take the leftover food.
'Brother Xander, you don't need to do that.'
'Yes, I do. The leftovers are for the maids.'
'I meant I'll deal with it later.'
'Oh. You sure?'
'Yeah.'
Brother Xander sighs and tells the maids to leave the food on the table.
'I have class now, but I'll come again in a few days.'
'Okay, Brother Xander. Come for lunch.'
'Sure. I'll bring you some nice food.'
'Thank you.'
I escort Brother Xander to the door.
'See you, Adi.' Brother Xander waves as he leaves.
Waiting for him to move further away, I close the door and head back to the dining room. Luckily, the maids didn't bother touching the food. They get food elsewhere with their spy savings, so they're never hungry. Packing up the food into containers, I take them to my room. When I was nine, I'd brought a fridge into my room for any snacks I wanted to keep for longer. Now, it's the best place for our food. I can't take any chances. I need to make sure the food Mamma eats is clean.
After packing the fridge, I head back to the library. I couldn't find any magic books, but I needed to try anyway. If I can learn magic early, I can protect Mamma and me sooner. Closing the library door behind me, I move to an open area. Sunlight streams into the large room, the centre of the library open enough to figure magic out while harming none of the books.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and try to find the same feeling as when I died.
One minute.
Two minutes.
Three minutes.
Nothing.
I open my eyes with a frown.
'Why can't I feel anything?' I growl in frustration.
I tried for one more hour, but I still felt nothing. Wanting to clear my head, I decide a walk and fresh air might do me some good. Leaving the southern wing, I soak in the warm sun, some of my frustration disappearing. I decided to walk to the north wing and back, giving myself a nice and long break before trying again.
I hum a nursery rhyme softly.
'Mercy heals, Identity shows,
Unity binds, Endurance grows,
Voice breaks chains, Memory makes whole,
Will stands strong—the Weave unfolds.'
As I walk past the western wing, I nearly crash into Brother Brutus. Seeing my ruthless brother, my face pales.
'Brother Brutus,' I curtsey, trying to hide my trembling hands.
'Sister Adira,' he says coldly. His voice cracks.
'How are you today?' I ask softly.
I clasp my hands in front of me and look up at him. With his fiery red hair curled at the tips, and his midnight blue eyes narrow as he stares at me, Brother Brutus terrifies me. His shoulders broader than a normal fourteen-year-old's from years of martial arts training, he was extremely intimidating.
'I am fine. I must go now, so please excuse me.' He bows slightly before walking towards the northern wing.
There's no way I am going to walk in his direction, so I immediately turn around and speed-walk right back to the southern wing. Closing the door behind me, my chest heaves from the sheer terror and exhaustion of that brief exchange. There's no way I can continue trying to activate my magic today.
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One week later, I'm still in the library trying to activate my magic. After trying day after day, I have reached my breaking point.
'Aargh!' I scream in frustration, letting it all out.
As I scream, I feel something drain from within me. The cold hit before I knew it, my knees buckling and shards of ice shoot out all around me. Panting, I look around in shock. The ice is a beautiful blue colour from the floor to the highest point, glistening under the afternoon sun shining through the window.
'I did it,' I chuckle.
'I did it!' I cry again in excitement. 'Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Now all I have to do is figure out how to do it without the frustration.'
Click.
Thump.
My heart, beating hard, stops for a second. I turn to the door, my eyes wide in shock, my face as pale as a sheet. No one was supposed to be here. No one was supposed to come in. No one can see the ice around me.