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Old Zhu's obsession with cleanliness wasn't just well-known, but it was legendary. The man was practically a deity of hygiene, an emperor of tidiness, a tyrant of sanitation! One speck of dust in his presence could turn his expression darker than a storm cloud, and a single misplaced wrinkle on a robe could make his veins bulge in rage.
People trembled in fear at the thought of earning his wrath; even the most fearless warriors of the Xuan Xuan Continent would rather battle a horde of demon beasts than face Old Zhu with a dirty shoe!
Naturally, Jun Mo Xie was thrilled to exploit this fatal weakness.
And who better to weaponize against Old Zhu than Fatty Tang?
The man was a walking, talking disaster—a moving catastrophe that left chaos in his wake! His mere presence could turn a clean room into a pigsty. If filth had a champion, it would be Tang Yuan, with his greasy hands, sweat-drenched robes, and food crumbs eternally decorating his massive belly.
Jun Mo Xie didn't even need to sabotage the examination—he just had to enhance Fatty's natural abilities!
So, when he handed Tang Yuan a small pill, his smirk was nothing short of devilish.
"Take this an hour before the test," He instructed, his voice dripping with sinister delight. "When it kicks in, the heavens will tremble, the earth will quake, and Old Zhu's soul will flee his body in sheer terror!"
Tang Yuan eyed the pill as if it were a deadly poison. His fat fingers trembled. "I... I don't know about this, Boss. This seems... unnatural. No, wait, it's just disgusting!"
His plump face twisted in horror.
Jun Mo Xie let out a heavy, exaggerated sigh. He patted Fatty's shoulder like a general sending a soldier to war. "Ah, my dear friend. There comes a time in every man's life when he must make a choice. A choice between freedom and slavery! Will you be a mere insect? A spineless worm, crawling beneath the boots of the powerful?"
He straightened, eyes shining with righteous fervor. "Or will you take destiny into your own hands and claim the life of a free man?!"
Tang Yuan gulped. His fat jiggled with anxiety.
Jun Mo Xie suddenly hummed an ominous tune. "Hmmm, hmmm…"
He shook his head with deep regret. "But alas… it seems Fatty Tang lacks the courage. I had such high hopes for you. I even believed in you, Fatty! But if you wish to remain a prisoner of fate, then so be it. This is where we say goodbye."
He turned away dramatically, his back facing his friend.
"No! Wait!" Tang Yuan's face flushed with determination. His fat wobbled with conviction. He clenched the pill in his fist as if he had just seized his destiny. "I will do it!"
He sucked in a deep breath and shouted, "I will go all out!"
Jun Mo Xie whirled around, eyes glistening as if he had just witnessed a hero's birth. "Good! Face it like a brave warrior!"
He thumped Tang Yuan on the back, nearly knocking the breath out of him. "I shall be with you in spirit, Fatty. Standing behind you… watching, supporting… laughing—ah, I mean, cheering for you from the shadows."
Tang Yuan shivered. "...What about after? When my father finds out, he'll peel my skin off layer by layer. He might never give me money again!"
His voice was filled with despair.
Jun Mo Xie stroked his chin, pretending to contemplate the issue with great seriousness. Then he solemnly placed a hand on Fatty's shoulder. "I can only sympathize with you, my friend."
His tone was tragic, as though mourning a fallen comrade. "This is but a small price to pay for your liberation! Years from now, you'll look back on this day and laugh. Well... we will, at least. Loudly."
Tang Yuan sniffled dramatically. "Boss… you're truly heartless."
"That's why I'm the Boss!" Jun Mo Xie grinned. Then his face turned deadly serious. "Remember! You must skip breakfast tomorrow. Not even a single bite!"
Tang Yuan hesitated. "Not even a steamed bun?"
"Not even a grain of rice!" Jun Mo Xie said gravely.
"...What about a—"
"Fatty!" Jun Mo Xie cut him off, eyes blazing. "Do you want to die choking on your own disaster?!"
Tang Yuan gulped and nodded solemnly. "I will remember, Boss!"
The moment he was out of sight, Jun Mo Xie collapsed onto the ground, clutching his stomach as he howled with laughter. His entire body shook as tears streamed down his face.
"AHAHAHAHA! Oh, Old Zhu, your time has come!" He gasped for air. "The heavens have sent you a nightmare!"
He laughed so hard he nearly passed out.
But what Jun Mo Xie never could have imagined was that this ridiculous scheme—this mere attempt to sabotage an examination—would soon turn into legend.
What was meant to be a small, calculated move would explode into a tale so outrageously hilarious that it would shake the Xuan Xuan Continent for centuries!
Bards would sing of it. Scholars would debate its absurdity. Generations would tell the story, passing it down like a sacred scripture.
And Fatty Tang?
His name would be immortalized.
For better or worse.
----
Tang Yuan waddled his way out of the Jun residence, his round belly bouncing slightly with each hurried step. His heart was still pounding from his conversation with Jun Mo Xie, and the tiny pill clenched tightly in his sweaty palm felt like a ticking time bomb. He was halfway through the courtyard, planning his grand escape.
Bam!
But it was his bad luck.
He nearly slammed face-first into Jun Zhan Tian himself!
Tang Yuan's blood turned ice-cold. The legendary war god stood before him, his powerful frame wrapped in an aura of absolute authority. His eyes, sharp as an eagle's, instantly locked onto Tang Yuan's guilty expression like a predator that had just spotted a trembling rabbit.
"Fatty, you came here to see Mo Xie?" Jun Zhan Tian narrowed his eyes suspiciously. His deep, gravelly voice was like thunder rolling in the heavens. "Did you lose your wife again?"
Tang Yuan instantly felt wronged. Damn it! Why does everyone think I have a wife to lose?
"N-no, not at all, Old General! I—I simply came to—"
"Hmph." Jun Zhan Tian's gaze bore into him, as if peering straight into his soul. "What are you even doing with your life? Look at Mo Xie! That brat finally turned his life around, and here you are—still looking like a dumpling someone left out in the rain!"
Tang Yuan gasped, clutching his chest as if Jun Zhan Tian had just run him through with a sword. Dumpling left in the rain?! Old General, do you have to be this ruthless?!
He fumbled for a response but suddenly realized his hand—his precious hand—was still behind his back, clutching the pill that was supposed to be his golden ticket to freedom.
Jun Zhan Tian's sharp gaze flickered. "What are you hiding back there?"
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing, Old General! Not even a speck of dust, hahaha!" Tang Yuan's face twitched as he forced out a wobbly laugh, stepping back instinctively.
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Spoilers for the next three chapters!
Chapter 86: A Jealous Beauty
Chapter 87: Countdown to Chaos
Chapter 88: The Amusing Incident
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