Life without my father in the village where he was beloved, his skills were needed and his pharmacy legacy was left behind was not easy for me. I was my father's first-born child and daughter, and he loved me and spoiled me endlessly even against my mothers wishes. I was the one who learned how to become a nurse off of his lap, I was the one who accompanied him on his work trips and I was the one who helped him out whenever he needed assistance, no matter how young I was. I could remember always being in my father's arms, even when I was old enough to walk and being spoilt by all of the women in the village that kept my mother happy enough. I suppose that I was rather lucky that nobody had changed their behaviour towards myself or my family when my mother became a widow. She loved my father dearly despite the 20 year age gap that they had and she had always remained faithful and loyal to him, to the point where she outright refused to marry despite her outstanding beauty and having many children to take care of. The wife of the Village Chief hardly left us alone since her own boys would be out of the house by sunrise and home by sunset, so I was grateful to her for her company and kindness. Her husband also treated me exceptionally well and always had me sit next to him at mealtimes since he always sadly commented on how much I reminded him of my father, especially when it came to smile. Again, despite the age difference, my father was a close man of his and helped out more people than he could even keep count of. My father always reminded me that it was Seo Hwi who seemed to change his destiny as soon as he met him in The Liadong War that took place in Goreyo decades ago before the beginning of The Joseann Dynasty and changed him from a man that tended to the dead to a fully fledged physician and one that was good at his work. But it was his sister that held a special place in my heart and amongst all of the hearts of the villagers. My aunt, Seo Yeon was like a big sister to me more than anything else and somehow took the pressures off of me for being the eldest sibling in my family. She constantly cooked for my mother and held a place for her when it came to the communal meals, she placed her in charge of her successful embroidery business so that she could earn a good income for her family and out of everyone she was close to, she only fully entrusted me to look after her children along with her nephew Chul who also held a soft spot for her. We could not escape her fondness for us, which included her random hugs, her intimate care for us after our studying, and being sent home with a new pile of clothes every fortnight. She made sure we had plenty of snacks to feast on, she spoiled us with sweet desserts and hand-stitched every piece of clothing that we wore ourselves.
But she wasn't the only one who wrapped me in silk and cotton for as long as she could; her husband who was devastatingly handsome, kind and more patient than he looked. He was always my favourite uncle who was the only other man along with my father who believed in my rights to have an education as a woman who was not born into the nobility rank as he was, no matter what percentage it may be. It did take him a long time to warm up to people, but I remembered him being around all of my life and watching me with a smile when I would play with Chul and Geom. Out of all of my siblings that he provided for, it was myself whom he felt closest to and took me to his home to study in his presence, to take me to his wife who spoiled me endlessly with new books that she would be on the lookout for just for me and whom he himself handed me my official dowry as soon as I reached the age of 16. He really didn't have to, but he told me on a number of occasions that he also found my presence comforting to him, as if he was conversing with my father. And that especially came true for him during his wife's second pregnancy when she seemed to taking the worst of it this time. From back pain to nausea to having a restricted diet, I was there for her every single day up to the day that she gave birth to her second son Hwan, who was angry and red-faced from the moment that he was born. I loved all of her children equally, but even I had to admit that he was a rather difficult baby to raise. If he wasn't in his mother's arms or he didn't have myself or his sister Hana in his line of vision, then he would scream the village down. My aunt's husband was a good man and a good father to his children, but even he had a hard time bonding with his son who constantly wanted every single woman's attention that he could get ahold of. Luckily for him, he had his favourite child Hana to keep him distracted by making her tend to him as soon as she would walk and speak. It was her who brought hum his snacks, it was her who waited all day for her father's return from the moment that he walked out of their home to work and it was her who followed him around everywhere when he was home. She was a sweet and pretty girl from the moment that she was born and she followed me around everywhere every time she saw me as well…but it was her twin brother Hyuk that I had been particularly drawn to since his birth.
Seo Hyuk couldn't be more opposite of what his cousin Seo Chul was since he was born; he was more quiet and observant unlike Chul and even Geom who were really hyperactive children. But nevertheless, his father just seemed to be happy enough to have a son of his own and always kept him close by his side when he could. But like his younger brother, he only seemed to really open up around the women of the village who would spoil him endlessly and his cousin Geom. There was only a few years in difference between them, but you would hardly see one without the other and big brother Chul in tow carrying Hana either in his arms or holding her hand as she simply could not function without her twin in her sights. It really was a funny sight to see; the twins were always together because they would throw massive tantrums whenever they were apart for even a second, and their cousins would always closely follow them and play with my siblings in the presence of myself and Chul, who just kept them entertained enough so that they would not annoy or distract their parents. Life went on like this until the twins and even their youngest sibling were old enough to develop their own…outstanding personalities. The Seo's hardly changed their personalities growing up; with the exception of Hana who was once a shy girl who only sat on her father's lap and was now the boldest, bravest and most educated maiden in the village alongside myself. We maintained our fairly close relationship despite her being a decade younger than myself as she became a social butterfly and knew how to get on with everyone, only lacking her mother's subtly and nothing else. She could be extremely kind and petty at the same time which was a trait that she had definitely inherited from both of her parents. It took a lot to make the quiet and observant Hyuk angry and the same went for Chul, but that did not describe the rest of the Seo Clan well. Seo Geom could only restrain his anger for as long as he was able to, whereas Chul and Hyuk knew to save it for later. But Seo Hwan and his big sister Hana could not let a single insult or remark slide. They were as recklessly impulsive as their father was described to be in his youth and despite his disproval, we could all tell how secretly proud he was of his twins, despite the introverted personality his firstborn son had. Only his uncle Hwi and my family could get through to him when the occasion called for it as The Village Head's sister was always kept close to her husband and was rarely allowed to choose anyone over her husband's stance when the rare dispute occurred between them, but that was nothing compared to the disputes that the reckless and hyerpactive Seo Hwan used to have with his own father. The difference between Seo Yeon's husband and Hyuk was that they had their own way of carrying out tasks, errands, studying and even work. Seo Hwan on the other hand…it seemed that from the day that he was born, that he did everything and anything to prise his mother out of his father's possessive hands, no matter how much it displeased his father. But that was a story for another time; a story that I heard many updates on as soon as I was cleared to gain some real experience in the medical field in the kingdom as soon as I had passed my studies with flying colours.
My temporary stay in the kingdom came at the right time as Chul was surpassing every single goal that his uncle has set for him to the point where he was able to secure his own connections in the kingdom and was able to secure us both accommodation together when he himself was sent to train in the army. It was an unconventional way of living, especially in the Joseann Dynasty, but my good uncle Seon-Ho gave us one his old father's properties and didn't even charge us any expenses such as rent and hired us plenty of servants to tend to us. Chul's father and my mother were regular visitors throughout the year, which just made us feel that much more at home. They regularly brought us food, clothing and other rescuers that we needed to live on since we were not allowed to regular visit our little village in case anyone from our families past followed us. And despite our rigid routines of work, extra studying and being followed everywhere by our families men, living in the kingdom away from my family and under the strict eye of The Royal Family brought us a sense of loneliness and solitude. I wasn't a particularly introverted person myself as my father's reputation simple would not allow it, but in the absence of my family, I found myself acting more like Seo Hyuk who always watched everything without participating, who observed but hardly opened his mouth unless he was directly spoken to and who was content to be a mere shadow in the presence of his family without showing his own might. He was the only out of all of the children that I had helped looked after who clung onto me the most, who asked me the most questions, who would rather stay with me than anyone else. Before i had known it, he had become shy own little personal shadow that never left me alone. I was in correspondence with everyone in the village but Hyuk…well, it hurt me to see that he did not send a single letter in return to mine or even dropped by to visit me even once. He did not even send me parting gift as I did for him on the day that I had left my home…was he even thinking about me? Did he remember me at all? Or did he truly forget me? He was barely in his pubescent years when I had to part from his side…was he angry at me? Did the hate me for leaving him? He really wasn't the type of boy that allowed him to be so attached to others as he grew up, so what was his problem? He was raised to have good morals, etiquette and manners, and he was even writing to Chul frequently, but he couldn't grace me with the same courtesy? Very well, I shall see to him myself once my training here was over and I could return back home to my village before my uncle found me work where I didn't have to constantly hide my identity, my gender and where I could wander free and work in my own comfortable conditions as Confucius laws were imposed even more strictly in the Joseann era. There were only extremely limited work positions that a woman could take up and even those required special circumstances, and none of that criteria fit in with the medical field unless I become a midwife and worked within nobility or even in The Royal Palace itself. In truth, I did not dare to dream of placing my own hopes where I could work, but it looks as though my uncle Seon-Ho had placed me in the kingdom quite strategically and with the company of Chul, I was able to make my own connections to the palace, which seemed to bring him a new sort of ambitious joy in him that I had never seen before. If only I knew what plans he had for me from the moment of my birth and what was to come in the future…