SF Chapter 01: Modern Family Pilot
About this Fic:
1. I will write about the MC throughout the chapters.
2. I will try to integrate him and all the series. So don't expect a chapter with a full description of the MC's life.
3. He is not a reincarnator or transmigrator. He is a book and script writer, done by himself (but I will use famous works).
4. He is 17 years old, while Claire, Mitchell, Alan, and Charlie are between 35 and 39 years old.
5. His appearance is the same as Neil Patrick Harris - and his personality will be inspired by Barney Stinson.
6. The books he has written so far: Wimpy Kid (1 to 5), and Percy Jackson (1 and 2).
7. It starts in 2003 with the four sitcoms (TBBT 2007, Modern Family 2009, Friends 1994, Two and a Half Men 2003). I chose something in the middle, not too old (Friends) and not too recent (Modern Family). So don't expect Canon dates.
8. He will be like Charlie, with a better moral compass.
9. [ ] will be used for mockumentary moments - like in Modern Family.
10. If you don't like, just write your own
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It was just an ordinary morning at the Dunphys' house.
"Kids, breakfast!" Claire Dunphy screamed.
Seeing that no one showed up, she tried again. "Kids?"
She sighed. "Phil, would you get them?"
"Yeah. Just a sec," he agreed, but did the exact same thing as his wife, shouting, "Kids!"
Daniel Harper Pritchett kept nagging her. "I'm telling you, sis, that's not fair. Why can't I have it?"
"Daniel," she began, exasperated, "you are seventeen years old. A Lamborghini is too much!" she judged.
"But it's my money!" he complained. "Dad is depriving me of my own money, earned with hard work!" He emphasized the last part.
Claire made a face, not believing it at all. "When you stayed here, you worked like three hours a day, and then did absolutely nothing!"
"Hey!" Daniel exclaimed, indignant. "That's how artists work! You can ask my brother Charlie."
Claire ignored her younger brother and went back to making breakfast.
Then a girl appeared in the kitchen. "Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs?" she complained. "Just text me."
Phil agreed, "All right." But his wife quickly cut him off. "That's not gonna happen."
"And, wow! You're not wearing that outfit," Claire added, noticing how her daughter was dressed.
That caught Daniel's attention. He took a glance and immediately walked closer to his niece.
"What's wrong with it?" Haley asked.
"It's cute," Daniel said, kissing his niece's hand. "Maybe we should finally put a Pritchett surname on you, Haley."
"Hi, Dani," she smiled at him. "And what?" She tilted her head, not understanding the flirt.
He was already expecting that. "Never mind," he said, but continued. "As you know, I'm living in Malibu, at my brother's house. It's a beach house, oceanfront, how about-"
Before he could finish, Claire grabbed him by the ear.
"Ouch, ouch, sis!" he whined, gesturing with his hand. "What are you going to do with that knife?" He pointed at what she was holding in her other hand. "Are you going to kill me? Are you gonna be a fratricide?"
"No," she answered, unfazed. "I'm just cutting the little Daniel out, so he stops causing trouble."
"Hey, that's even worse than death!" he declared theatrically.
She ignored him and turned back to her daughter. "Your skirt is way too short," she scoffed. "People already know you're a girl. You don't need to prove it to them."
Claire turned around like something out of a horror movie, glaring at Daniel, who was giving thumbs-up gestures to his niece, winking and murmuring, "It's really cute."
He froze instantly and put on an innocent face, as if he hadn't done anything at all. With the same hands he had been gesturing with, he formed a heart for his sister.
Claire just sighed, already used to her brother's antics.
"Luke got his head stuck in the banister again," Alex, the youngest daughter, warned as soon as she appeared in the kitchen.
Daniel greeted his other niece. "If it isn't my beauty-and-brains niece, Alexandra Anastasia," he said jokingly.
And he whispered to his sister, "Don't worry, I haven't hit on anyone two years younger than me. It's my rule, at least until I turn twenty-one."
He received a glare from her.
"Hi, Dani," Alex replied with a small smile. "I loved your second Percy Jackson book," she commented, since the book had been released not too long ago.
"Thanks," he replied, then tilted his head. "And what about Luke?" he inquired, since no one had moved to free his poor nephew from the stairs.
"I got it," Phil volunteered. He headed for the stairs, but stopped and asked his wife, "Where's the baby oil?"
"It's on our bedside ta-" Claire stopped halfway and finished out of the corner of her mouth, "I don't know. Find it."
Daniel made an 'I heard that' face and smirked. "Sis, it's in the blood, we-"
He couldn't finish, as his sister grabbed a spatula and started attacking him.
[Phil and Claire commentary]
"I was a bit out of control that morning, with everyone growing up," Claire confessed, adjusting herself on the couch.
"There, you know? I said it to Haley," she justified herself. "I-I just don't want my kids… to make the same bad mistakes I made."
"If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked, I've done my job."
"Our job," Phil corrected, sitting beside her.
Claire nodded. "Right. I've done our job."
"I knew it!" a high-pitched voice was heard, and Daniel could be seen standing in the doorway.
"Daniel!" Claire shouted. "Get out of here!"
She turned back to the camera. "About my little brother… I'd be happy if he only woke up on a beach in Florida, half-naked," she added dryly.
[Commentary ends]
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Phil was rubbing baby oil on Luke's neck, who was stuck in the banister. "Buddy, why do you keep getting stuck like this?"
"I'm just gonna say it. He needs to be checked by a specialist," Alex commented sarcastically.
But Luke revealed the real reason. "Uncle Dan told me he would pay ten bucks if I managed to do it."
Everyone looked away, including Daniel, who pretended to look somewhere else.
"Ow! There. Be free," Phil said as he finally freed his son. "Excalibur," he chuckled.
Then Haley announced as she went up the stairs, "I'm having a friend over today."
"Who?" her mother inquired.
"Uh, you don't know him."
"Him? Him?" That made Claire much more alert.
Luke, now finally free, mocked, "Ooh, a boy. You gonna kiss him?" making exaggerated kissing noises.
"Shut up," his sister retorted.
And Phil tried to calm things down. "Easy. Easy."
Claire kept that mama-bear look and finally asked, "Who's the boy?"
"His name is Dylan. I might as well tell him not to come… because you guys are just going to embarrass me again."
"Sweetie, hang on a second," Claire said more gently. "You're fifteen, and it's the first time you've had a boy over. I'm bound to be a little surprised."
"I bet it wasn't even close to Dad, when Mitch brought his first boyfriend over," Daniel added with a few amused chuckles.
"I wish there were a video," he added making an exaggerated face.
"Oh, I'll get the camcorder," Phil commented, earning a groan from his daughter.
[Luke commentary]
Luke looked straight ahead and commented, "Dan? He's cool! And he manages to pull all of Mom's anger onto himself. Like a lightning rod."
"He's my uncle," he said, then paused to think. "Or my cousin once dead."
"It's cousin once removed, you idiot," Alex's voice could be heard from behind.
[Commentary ends]
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