[Diary Entry: On the subject of the "Sand Crocodile" Sir Crocodile, there is actually a piece of earth-shattering news that most people in this world aren't ready for.]
[First of all, I'll be honest: I don't technically know the exact nature of the secret. But I am 100% certain that it is his "handle"—the ultimate blackmail material.]
[The Okama King, Emporio Ivankov, relied on this very handle to keep the Sand Crocodile pinned down. When they were in Impel Down, one word from Iva was enough to make the Great Pirate shut his mouth and play nice.]
[I don't need the full details. I just need to use a little trick, a bit of verbal camouflage, to make him think I know everything. There is no doubt about it—Crocodile is a proud man, and a proud man is easily baited when his dignity is on the line.]
Evan leaned back against the cool stone wall of the hideout, a strange, playful smile dancing on his lips as he recalled the plot points from the original "One Piece" manga. In his mind, the images of Marineford and Impel Down were vivid.
What the secret actually was? Evan didn't care. In the world of psychological warfare, the truth is often less effective than the fear of the truth.
[Even if I don't know the specifics, can't I still use it to squeeze the desert king dry? Just watching him squirm is worth the price of admission.]
As these words manifested in the magical diaries held by various women across the Grand Line, a collective sigh echoed from Alabasta to Dressrosa.
In the royal palace of Alabasta, Vivi felt a vein throb in her forehead. "This guy Evan... he's playing with fire. Does he realize he's blackshmailing a Warlord of the Sea with a bluff?"
In her secret quarters, Reiju Vinsmoke rubbed her temples. She was currently "punishing" the Sand Crocodile's finances—diverting funds and dismantling his mercenary networks. After all, she was Evan's person now, an infiltrator of the highest order.
"Poor Crocodile," Reiju murmured, though her eyes glinted with amusement. "Played like a fiddle by a man who isn't even in the same room as him. His subordinates are gone, his Baroque Works is a crumbling ruin, and now his pride is next on the chopping block."
Indeed, Crocodile was currently the most unlucky man in the world. Almost all of his Officer Agents were neutralized—dead, imprisoned, or defected. Only Mr. 1, Daz Bonez, remained loyal at his side. Even the mercenaries he'd spent a fortune to hire had turned out to be "reserves" for the Vinsmoke family's interests.
Evan reached into his coat and pulled out a specialized Den Den Mushi—the one used for direct communication with the boss of Baroque Works. He dialed the number.
The snail's features shifted, growing a heavy brow, a scarred face, and a cynical frown. It mimicked Crocodile's signature look perfectly. The connection was established, but the other side remained silent. The atmosphere was heavy with hostility.
"I know you're there, Crocodile," Evan said, his voice smooth, dripping with a feigned, contemplative wisdom. "I know you're upset. Losing an empire in a week tends to sour the mood."
Still, silence.
"Let's skip the pleasantries," Evan continued. "Actually, I happen to be an old acquaintance of the 'Miracle Person,' the Okama King Ivankov. Does that name ring a bell? Or should I say... does it bring back memories?"
On the other end of the line, the sound of a cigar being crushed could be heard. The snail's expression shifted from annoyance to a sudden, sharp tension.
"You know what that means, right?" Evan whispered. "He told me a very interesting story about you. A story from your rookie days. Sand Crocodile... surely you don't want your little 'secret' broadcast to the entire world via the Big News Morgans, do you?"
[Diary Entry: About this secret, back in the old forums and fan-sites, there was endless speculation. What could a man like Crocodile owe a person like Ivankov? The most obvious answer, given Iva's Horu Horu no Mi powers, is a gender switch.]
[There is a sketch of Crocodile as a child drawn by Oda. He looks... remarkably feminine. Delicate features, a certain softness. It's highly likely that the desert king was originally a desert queen.]
[Maybe he wasn't satisfied with a woman's body. Maybe he wanted to conquer the seas in a world that, at the time, he felt wouldn't respect a female pirate. So, he sought out the only person who could change his very essence. He traded a part of himself for the body he has now.]
This "bombshell" news hit the readers of the diary like a physical blow.
In the hidden corners of the desert, Nico Robin—Miss All Sunday—felt her composure shatter. Her eyes widened, her jaw dropping slightly. She looked at the Den Den Mushi, then back at the diary, her mind racing through the years she had spent working for Crocodile.
"What? That man... was originally a woman?"
Robin's expression became a masterpiece of confusion and irony. She thought of his obsession with masculinity—the cigars, the gold hook, the slicked-back hair, the deep, gravelly voice. It all seemed so... performative now.
"The subway, the old man, the mobile phone... I need that meme right now," Robin thought, her modern sensibilities (gifted by Evan's previous ramblings) clashing with her current reality. "Is my former boss really a transgender pioneer of the Grand Line?"
Meanwhile, Evan's diary continued to scroll with new text.
[It has to be the 'Sticker Brothers' on the forums. Honestly, sometimes I think the fans know the lore better than Oda himself. If the fans were allowed to update the manga, the plot would be ten times more scandalous.]
[But it's not just baseless rumors. If you look at the details, it's convincing. For instance, the camels in Alabasta. There's that one camel—Matsuge—who only allows women to ride him. Yet, Crocodile rides a camel without issue. Is that a hint? A subtle nod from the creator? Who knows.]
[It's the same kind of mystery as the face behind Doflamingo's glasses. It's a joke until it isn't.]
[Speaking of the 'News King' Doflamingo... does anyone actually know what he looks like without those shades?]
[Actually, I do. He has beanie eyes. Little, tiny, dot eyes. It's hilarious.]
[[Image: A crude but devastatingly funny sketch of Doflamingo with tiny, bead-like eyes peering over his glasses.]
In Dressrosa, Violet (Viola) was watching the diary closely. When the image appeared, she tried to maintain her Royal decorum, but a snort escaped her. She compared the sketch to the terrifying, vein-popping visage of the "Heavenly Yaksha" she saw every day.
"Doudouyan... Beanie eyes..." She covered her mouth, her shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. It was the first time in years she had felt a genuine spark of joy. The terrifying tyrant of her country had just been reduced to a cartoon character by Evan's pen.
[Diary Entry: In the future versions of the story, after the 'Joker' falls, he ends up in Impel Down. He's in a prison uniform, shackled to the floor, reading the newspaper. And even then—even in a high-security cell—the man is STILL wearing those glasses!]
[Even in flashbacks to his childhood as a World Noble, he has them on. The glasses are the man. Without them, he's just a blonde guy with embarrassing eyes. When I finally get to Dressrosa, I have to see it for myself.]
[I also need to see my future 'wives,' Violet and Rebecca. A man has to have goals, after all.]
Violet's face flushed a deep crimson. "If you really come here, Evan... I'll be waiting. But 'wives'? Plural? Your appetite is far too large." She blinked, her heart fluttering in a way she didn't want to admit.
Back in Alabasta, the silence on the phone line was finally broken.
"Evan..." Crocodile's voice was a low, dangerous growl. It sounded like grinding stones. "You have truly pushed your luck this time. You think you can threaten me with ghosts from the past?"
"I don't think, Crocodile. I know," Evan replied, his tone chillingly confident. "Three days. That's all the time I'm giving you to surrender your remaining assets and leave Alabasta. Otherwise, I'll make sure every news bird in the sky carries the story of your 'transformation.' You'll be the laughingstock of the New World. You'll suffer 'social death' before you even reach the gallows."
Evan clicked the Den Den Mushi off before Crocodile could respond.
[Diary Entry: Wow, I could practically feel the murderous intent through the phone. If looks could kill, that snail would have turned into a pile of salt.]
[Whether his secret is truly a gender swap or something else, I've definitely touched a nerve. He's acting way too defensive. And speaking of weird vibes, has anyone noticed his obsession with Mr. 1?]
[He calls himself MR. 0. His most loyal shield is MR. 1. It's like a perfect '0' and '1' binary. One is the ultimate attack, the other the ultimate defense. They are inseparable. Even in the Impel Down arc later on, they stick together like glue.]
[Is there something more there? A brotherhood? Or something even more scandalous? I'm just saying, the details are suspicious!]
Robin, reading this, felt a headache coming on. She had always viewed her boss as a cold, calculating machine. But Evan's diary was painting a picture of a man burdened by a secret past and potentially complex "partnerships."
She looked out over the desert dunes. The world felt much smaller and much more absurd than it had a few days ago.
"Evan," she whispered to the empty room. "You are either a genius or a madman. But I suppose in this sea, there isn't much difference between the two."