Three hours later they were several failures closer to no solution, and Hermione's panic-infused hair had grown to a static-y beachball of magic-puffed fluff.
She'd put her head down on his desk, so it looked as if an enormous brunette tumbleweed had blown onto his blotter.
"Lucifer, I'm tired," she mumbled into her arm. "Can't we take a break?"
"I can send an order to the kitchens for some dinner."
"I'm too anxious to eat."
"How about some soup?"
"No liquid. My bladder surpassed maximum capacity over an hour ago."
He exhaled a exhausted chuckle and rubbed at his eyes. "Go freshen up a bit at least."
"Okay," she muttered as she rose from the desk in a listless slump.
Lucifer went ahead and sent a written order to the kitchens for some food, the message disappearing into the fire with a pop of purple inter-Hogwarts flames.
Two minutes later, several plates of meat and cheese appeared on the table in his room, along with two covered bowls and a loaf of French bread.
He lifted the lids and inhaled the fragrant steam, then tore off a hunk of bread to tide him over.
When Hermione came out of the bathroom, she looked as though she'd tried to do something with her hair, but it only added to the delirious madness that permeated the magic around her.
"The nerve of that mirror," Hermione grumbled. "It asked me if I'd ever been shown how to use a brush!"
Lucifer snorted under his breath. "The audacity!"
She flashed him a small chagrined smile. "I don't know why you bought it. The last thing I'd want in my bathroom is a cheeky mirror."
"It knows better than to insult me."
"So it's only rude to me?"
"It thinks you are invading my privacy."
"I'll bet," Hermione intoned with a smirk. "What've you had sent up? That smells lovely."
Lucifer summoned another chair for the little table and gestured for her to sit. "Just some meat and cheese, a little French bread. And they've sent you up some soup. Pick whichever one you like."
"Oh, potato soup," she said with a measure of cheer. "That sounds nice."
She scooted closer to the table, and her tits tipped over the bowl, soaking the front of her robes.
Biting his tongue to keep from laughing, Lucifer flicked a quick cleaning charm at her. "Perhaps you should try going over rather than around."
"I don't know what that means," she said with a weary groan.
Lucifer lifted his own plate above his chest and ate with it beneath his chin. "Like this. Maybe use your bosom as a tray?"
Hermione's eyes snapped to his, and after a moment of silence, her face split into a wobbly grin, and she began to sputter with laughter.
"Maybe use my bosom as a tray?" she choked out.
The corners of Lucifer's mouth twitched. "It seems the most efficient course of action at this point."
"Indeed," Hermione muttered, resting her forehead in one hand as she caught her breath.
Despite her flustered amusement, she took his advice and made it through her bowl of soup without further disaster.
They ate in silence for the next ten minutes, and Lucifer felt somewhat revived by the surge of nutrients.
"What's left on the list?" Hermione asked as she picked at the piece of bread on her plate. "We've haven't tried all the charms, have we?"
"We have," Lucifer confessed, wiping his mouth with the corner of his napkin. "I believe we've exhausted our current list."
"We can't have!"
"I'm afraid so."
"Then what are we going to do now?"
"Perhaps you should tell me once more what led up to your … transformation. Maybe if we narrow down what might've happened, it'll give us some clue as to how we should proceed."
"I told you—I ate breakfast in the Great Hall, and then, as I was leaving, I started to feel funny."
"Did you leave through the staff door?"
"No, I went out the main doors."
"Did you see anyone?"
"There were a couple students still eating in the Great Hall."
"What about out in the entryway?"
"No students or faculty." She slowly shook her head, her eyes staring off into the distance, as if lost in thought. "I saw the Grey Lady on the stairs with Sir Nicholas, but they didn't see me; they were headed in the opposite direction."
"Did you feel strange by then or was it some time after that?"
"After—just as I started up the stairs that goes to my dorm."
"And you saw no one, you heard nothing?"
"I heard Peeves somewhere in the distance."
"You heard Peeves in the Girls area?" Lucifer repeated. "Doing what?"
"Singing a song."
"About what?"
"It sounded like a Bunny song, but I couldn't pick out the words."
"And you're sure you didn't eat anything suspicious at breakfast?"
"Not at all. I ate the same thing as Ginny."
"What did you drink?"
"Orange juice."
"Not pumpkin juice?"
"Never."
Lucifer sighed. "I think our only choice at this point is to start investigating the scene of the crime—so to speak."
"But I can't …" She waved a hand at her breasts.
xxxxxx
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