"But I can't …" She waved a hand at her breasts.
"Yes. Agreed. You stay here and rest—try to take a nap if you can. One of us should be fresh and thinking clearly when we start again. I'm going to check with Ginny and make sure nothing strange has happened to her again, then I'll ask the ghosts if they noticed anything suspicious. I'll have a time tracking down Peeves and getting a serious answer out of him, but … that's all I can think of right now."
Her brow knitted, and she dipped her head in a tight nod. "Maybe check the library as well. There might be a book on this."
Lucifer frowned. "On what … boob magic?"
Her cheeks went pink, but her lips flickered with a smile. "No. Curses or hexes or something."
"Hermione. I have almost read every book in this school that relates to curses and hexes, and I have never come across anything like this."
"Very well," Hermione conceded. "But there's no way I'm going to be able to rest while you're gone. Do you mind if I search your library? Maybe I'll find something helpful."
Shrugging, Lucifer waved his hand at the shelves, dissolving the protective climate control wards. "Be my guest. I don't think you'll find anything, but section on curses and hexes is on the bottom right."
She nodded and stood to the side as he pulled on his T-shirt.
"Be careful," she told him. "If I didn't ingest the cause of this and nobody was around to hex me, it could've been triggered by something in the corridors. Keep your eyes peeled."
Lucifer paused at the door and looked back at her. "Something in the corridors … I hadn't even considered that."
Hermione grimaced, both of them realizing at the same time that they might find themselves with a much more dire situation on their hands.
If others started "busting out," the holidays would dissolve into sheer pandemonium.
Lucifer frowned and pulled open the door with more force than intended. "I'll warn the Professors about your previous path and cordon it off until finding out what caused this."
"Hurry," Hermione called after him as the door slammed shut.
xxxxxxx
"Hermione!" Lucifer bellowed as he breathlessly burst into the room.
Hermione jumped up from the table, where she'd been reading behind a tall stack of books. "What is it? Have you found something? Is someone else hurt?"
Uncomfortably warm, Lucifer ripped off his robes. "You were right. It was in the corridors. Professor Flitwick and I have been examining Girl's dorm and, thankfully, no one else seem to be affected. But we found the culprit without much trouble."
"What? Who?"
"Peeves," Lucifer hissed, furious that the poltergeist was able to enter restricted areas, "He planted some kind of cursed mistletoe near the girls dorm, in the first archway, exactly where you started to feel strange."
The furrow of her brow made her look mutinous, her eyes aflame with murderous rage. "That ectoplasmic gobshite! I'll destroy him!"
She stomped toward the door, ready to storm out, but Lucifer blocked her path with one arm. "Slow down, Hermione. Flitwick is already on the warpath. And you can't go out like that. You wouldn't even be able to see the stairs over those things."
"Did he at least tell you how to fix it?"
Lucifer's face hardened, and, placing both hands on her shoulders, he backed her toward the table and guided her into the chair. "You're going to want to sit for this."
"Why? What's wrong?"
Lucifer pulled up the other chair and sat across from her. "Brace yourself."
Hermione covered her mouth with both hands, her forehead pinched with worry. "What is it?"
"Peeves inadvertently altered the magic on some charmed mistletoe," Lucifer said as calmly as he could. "It was originally intended to lure girls in and trap them, forcing them to kiss before releasing. It had a charm on it to make the subject appear more appealing to any onlooker, increasing the likelihood of making a connection. But it was only supposed to be a weak illusion, a glamour! Peeves mixed it with Devil's Breath, and it altered the original enchantment, so it—thankfully—didn't trap you, but it did cause some kind of body-morphing curse, turning you into this hyper-sexualized version of the fantasy—taking it from illusion to the extremes of reality."
Her jaw dropped.
"Yes, I know," Lucifer muttered. "It's not a mixture that's ever recommended precisely because of unpredictable reactions like this."
"So what do we do?"
Sighing, Lucifer gave her a sardonic stare, raising his eyebrows in pointed emphasis. "What do you think you have to do?"
She blinked, her face blank. It took her a few seconds to catch on. "Are you saying I need to … kiss?"
"It would appear so," Lucifer replied gravely.
Her shoulders sank with relief, and she actually smiled at him. "Oh, thank Merlin! With the way you were talking, I thought it was going to be something dreadful."
"Hermione, I'm not sure you've grasped the full magnitude of the situation."
"Sure I have," she replied brightly, her hands cupping her mountainous breasts and giving them a firm lift. "Have a nice kiss, and these things go back to normal. Bada-bing bada-boom!"
"Do you really want to do this?"
She laughed and dropped her boobs. "Of course."
"But, we can't kiss each other!"
"Why not?"
"Because … you're you, and I'm me."
"Lucifer," she said, suddenly very serious. "I may NOT have enough feelings about you like my other selves just yet, but only you can snog my boobs back to normal! This has been disturbing enough the whole day!"
"Are you telling me that you don't have a problem with being forc----"
She popped to her feet. "Stop glaring at the table and kiss me!"
"Fine!" he said, rising and turning his glare on her.
xxxxxxx
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