The cold was the first thing I felt.
It wasn't a normal cold.It was something deeper, as if it was coming from within me.
I slowly opened my eyes... But there was nothing.
No sky... No ground... No light.
Only darkness.
An endless darkness that seemed to swallow everything... even me.
I tried to move... I couldn't.
My body... felt strange. Light. Unstable.As if, at any moment, it might disappear.
I opened my mouth to scream... Nothing.
The silence was absolute.
One that didn't just silence my voice... but my thoughts as well.
—Where... am I...?
I didn't know if I actually said it... There was no response.
Only that void... endless.
Then I understood.
The fall... The end.
—I'm... dead.
The thought formed slowly, but once it appeared... it didn't go away.
And yet... there was something else.
I couldn't see it... I couldn't hear it.
But it was there... watching me.
Waiting.
As if my death... hadn't been the end...
. . .
In a small apartment in central Tokyo... I live alone.
Kuroi Sora... Seventeen years old.
My parents are almost never around.Always busy, always far away, always in another country for work.And my brother... well, he's in England, finishing his university studies.
In the end, the story is simple... I'm alone.
It's not something recent.Since I was fifteen, I learned to live like this.
To cook the basics, to keep the place in order, to not depend on anyone...
At first, it was difficult. After that... it became normal.
Or at least, that's what I like to tell myself... Because the truth is different.
No matter how much I get used to the silence,or how many times I tell myself I don't need anyone... that emptiness is still there.
It doesn't disappear... It never does.
It's like a constant weight on my chest, one I've grown used to... but that never stops bothering me.
And maybe... that was my mistake... getting used to it.
I headed to the bathroom and, as I looked up, I found my reflection.
A boy with a slim build... Pale skin... Messy black hair.
And eyes... empty. As if they no longer expected anything.
I stared at myself in silence, trying to find something more in that reflection... but there was nothing new... There never had been.
In elementary school... I learned to go unnoticed.In middle school... I perfected that habit.
Avoiding gazes... Not drawing attention... Not standing out.
It was easier that way.
But when I entered high school... that stopped being enough.
The looks changed... The whispers began.
And the silence that once protected me... became another form of isolation.
I looked away from the mirror.
—Will I ever be able to change...?
My voice barely came out.
—How long am I going to keep living like this...?
. . .
The clock read 6:30 a.m.
I finished breakfast without much enthusiasm, grabbed my phone and briefcase, and left the apartment in a hurry.I couldn't miss the train... not today.
Not on the first day.
. . .
At 6:40 a.m., I was already on the train.
As always, there were high school students everywhere.
Groups of friends talking and laughing.Couples sharing earphones or simply walking together.
It was... normal.
I watched them in silence.
That warmth... that closeness... something so simple.
And yet... so distant for me.
I looked away and settled into my seat.
The train wasn't very crowded, so the ride went smoothly.
Thirty minutes later, the doors opened and I got off quickly, almost out of habit.I preferred to get out before the others.
Avoiding gazes... had always been easier that way.
. . .
At 7:15 a.m., I was already a block away from the high school.
The building looked the same... Nothing had changed.
Or so it seemed.
As I walked, I recognized some faces. Former classmates.
People I shared a classroom with... but never words.
There were also new faces. People I didn't know.
For a moment, I found myself thinking.
—This time... who will I end up with?
Every year was the same.
You could end up in the same class... or start over with strangers.
Though, to be honest... it didn't matter much.
In the end... everything always turned out the same.
. . .
When I arrived at Asahi High School, the first thing I felt was the usual.
That slight pressure in my chest.
As if my body knew I didn't want to be there.
I had arrived early. There were still about twenty-five minutes before the gates closed.
Perfect.
Less people.Fewer gazes.
Or so I thought.
—Well, well... if it isn't the ghost.
That voice.
I didn't need to turn around to know who it was.
Even so, I did.
Kurokawa Ryuji.
Blond hair, slightly messy, sharp eyes... and that smile that never meant anything good.
He wasn't alone.
As always, he was surrounded by his group, chuckling quietly, watching me as if I were something... entertaining.
—I thought you wouldn't show up this year —he continued, taking a step forward—. But I guess this is better.
His eyes locked onto mine.
—It'll be more fun.
I didn't respond... I never did.
I lowered my gaze and simply walked past him, as if I hadn't heard anything.
The laughter quickly followed behind me.
. . .
From the very first day I saw him... it was like that.
In elementary school, I went unnoticed.In middle school... too.
No one paid attention to me, and that was fine... It was enough.
But in high school... everything changed.
I don't know exactly when it started. Or why.
I just remember that, one day... Ryuji started looking at me differently.
Not like the others.
It was... different.
As if there was something about me that bothered him.
Or worse...
as if he simply didn't like me being there.
Since then... he never stopped.
Pointless orders.Constant mockery.Shoves... that gradually stopped being "accidental."
Sometimes...
I started to think it went beyond that.
That it wasn't just for fun.
There were moments when his gaze... changed.
As if he were remembering something.
As if I... owed him something I didn't even know about.
But I never understood what.
The first year passed like that.
Without me being able to do anything.Without anyone saying anything.
. . .
And now...
it was all starting again.
I looked away and kept walking.
There was no point in thinking about it.
Not now.
. . .
Once inside the school, I headed to the large board at the entrance.
The lists were there.
Names.Classrooms.Groups.
I quickly searched for mine.
"...2-B."
I let out a small sigh. At least now I knew where to go.
Without wasting time, I walked through the hallways until I reached the classroom.
I stopped for a second in front of the door.
Then I opened it carefully.
There were only a few students inside.
Without saying anything, I walked to the last seat, in the corner.
My usual spot.
I placed my briefcase to the side and sat down.
Finally...
I could breathe a little.
. . .
Just when I thought the day would go on as usual... I heard my name.
—Hey... Sora?
I stopped.
That voice... I slowly turned.
A boy stood in front of me. Tall. Crimson red hair.
And that smile... There was something about it.
Something... familiar.
I stared at him in silence, trying to piece things together. But it wasn't that simple.
Too many years had passed.
—...Yeah? —I replied uncertainly.
The boy let out a small laugh, as if he didn't know whether to feel offended or surprised.
—No way... —he murmured—. You seriously don't recognize me?
I frowned slightly.
I didn't want to say no... but I couldn't lie either.
—I'm sorry... —I admitted—. I think... I don't.
He sighed, running a hand through the back of his neck.
—Koichi Haru —he finally said—. We grew up together... remember?
. . .
That name.
This time... something did move inside me.
It wasn't clear. It wasn't immediate. But it was there.
I closed my eyes for a moment.
And then... Fragments.
A house.An ordinary afternoon.Voices... Laughter?...
A place I used to go when my parents weren't around. A warm place...
It was... that place. Where I wasn't alone.
I slowly opened my eyes.
—...Haru... —I murmured.
I looked at him again.
And this time... it fit.
Not completely. But enough.
—It's been years... —I said softly.
Haru smiled, this time with a bit more relief.
—Yeah... quite a few.
There was a brief silence. Not uncomfortable. But not light either.
—I didn't recognize you at first —I admitted—. You've changed.
—So have you —he replied with a half-laugh—. Though you still have that "I don't want to be here" face.
I looked away. With a faint smile.
—Maybe...
Haru watched me for a few more seconds, as if trying to measure something.
Then he spoke again, his tone softer:
—Hey... do you remember the others too?
I frowned slightly.
—The others...?
Haru nodded.
—Seiji... —he paused briefly—. And Shiori.
. . .
Shiori...
The names echoed in my mind.
And this time... they weren't fragments.
It was everything.
As if something that had been asleep... finally woke up.
My breathing stopped for a moment.
I remembered. I remembered that house.
It wasn't just any place.
It was where my parents left me when they had to travel.And not with just anyone.
They trusted them.
Because Shiori's parents... were close to mine.
Almost like family.
And it was there... that I met her.
Shiori.
A kind girl.Quiet.Always smiling.
I remember that at first I didn't know how to talk to her...but she spoke to me first.
As if she didn't care how quiet I was.
As if it didn't bother her.
. . .
And over time... we became inseparable.
Then they came.
Haru.Seiji.
And before I realized it... I was no longer alone.
We played together almost every day. We laughed over meaningless things.Time... simply passed.
They were quiet days... Warm.
...
The best ones I remember.
But then... everything changed.
I don't remember every detail. I don't want to.
I only know that... something happened.
Something that broke everything.
Shiori...
suddenly disappeared.
Later, I found out she had gone abroad.
That something had happened.
Something serious.
Haru and Seiji left too, some time later.Their families moved away.
And in the end... everything fell apart.
As if it had never existed.
...
I slowly returned to reality.
My chest felt heavy.
—...Yeah —I murmured—. I remember them.
. . .
Haru and I kept talking for a few more minutes.
It wasn't a deep conversation... but it wasn't superficial either.
It was strange.
As if we were trying to recover something... without really knowing how.
Meanwhile, the classroom slowly began to fill.
Voices.Laughter.Chairs moving.
The usual noise of any morning.
...
—Hey.
A voice interrupted. I looked up.
A boy had approached us.
Light blond hair.Firm posture.And a serious expression that didn't change much.
—Haru —he said, looking directly at him—. Who are you talking to?
Haru smiled slightly.
—You're late.
The boy shifted his gaze toward me. Just for a few seconds.
But it was enough.
His expression changed. Not much... Just enough.
—...Wait —he murmured—. You...?
I frowned slightly.
That look... It was similar to Haru's earlier.
As if he were trying to confirm something.
—It's Sora —Haru said casually—. Kuroi Sora.
...
Silence.
The boy looked at me for a few more seconds.
And then, he barely exhaled.
—Wow... —he said quietly—. It's been years.
He stepped a little closer.
—I didn't think I'd see you again.
—...Me neither —I replied.
I didn't know what else to say.
—Seiji —Haru added, as if clarification was needed—.
I nodded slightly.
—I remember.
And it was true.
The way he spoke... hadn't changed much.
Seiji watched me for a moment longer, as if trying to say something... but let it go.
—So... we're here again —he murmured.
—The three of us —Haru said with a slight smile.
...
There was a brief pause.
Then Haru looked around the classroom.
—Though... someone's still missing.
Seiji also shifted his gaze, as if searching among the students.
—Yeah... —he added—. I haven't seen her yet.
There was no need to ask who they meant.
My chest tightened slightly.
—Shiori... —I murmured without realizing.
Haru immediately turned to me, with a smile that seemed to have found something interesting.
—Ah... so you do remember her.
I looked away.
—It's not that...
—Are you sure? —he insisted, crossing his arms—. Because a moment ago it looked like you had forgotten everything.
—I just... remembered her first, that's all —I replied, trying to stay calm.
Haru let out a soft laugh.
—How convenient.
—Leave it, Haru —Seiji intervened, his tone calm but firm—. This isn't the time.
Haru raised his hands in surrender.
—Alright, alright...
Then he looked back at the door.
—Anyway... she should be here soon.
...
My gaze followed his almost instinctively.
Without realizing it, my attention was no longer on the conversation.
But on the classroom entrance.
. . .
Then—
The bell rang.
A sharp sound that marked the beginning of classes.
Chairs scraping.Voices fading little by little.
Almost at the same time, the door opened.
Quickly, everyone returned to their seats.
The teacher entered first, with her usual serious expression.
But she wasn't alone. Behind her... a girl walked in.
The classroom fell silent.
She was slender, with long blonde hair that fell softly over her shoulders.Her presence was... different.
As if she didn't quite fit the atmosphere.
Some students began to whisper.
Others simply stared, unable to look away.
It was the kind of beauty that drew attention effortlessly.
But I... wasn't looking at that.
Not entirely.
There was something else... Something I couldn't ignore.
Haru and Seiji smiled upon seeing her, immediately recognizing the beautiful girl.
. . .
The sound of the bell still echoed as everyone began to move.
The teacher walked to the front of the classroom with firm steps, without saying a word.Then she placed her palm on the desk.
Smack!
The sharp sound was enough to silence the room.
—Listen carefully —she said seriously—. This year we have three transfer students.
She paused briefly.
—Koichi Haru, Arashi Seiji... and Fuyu Shiori.
...
Haru was the first to stand up.
He stretched naturally and, without losing that smile of his, looked at the class.
—Nice to meet you —he said, in a light tone—. I'm Koichi Haru.
He bowed slightly, more out of habit than formality.
—I hope we get along.
That was it... Simple, but enough.
Some girls immediately began whispering.
—Did you see him...?
—He's so handsome...
—Isn't he that...?
Haru just smiled, as if he were already used to that kind of reaction, and sat back down without giving it much importance.
...
Then it was Seiji's turn.
He stood up calmly.
Unlike Haru, he didn't smile.
His gaze swept across the classroom for a moment before he spoke.
—Arashi Seiji.
His voice was firm. Direct.
—That's all.
...
Silence.
Some exchanged glances, as if unsure how to react.
Others simply nodded.
Seiji sat back down without adding anything else, keeping the same expression as always.
Serious. Distant.
As if none of this really mattered to him.
...
From my seat, I watched them in silence.
Two completely different people.
And yet... both were part of those memories I thought I had left behind.
. . .
—Alright... —the teacher said—. Now it's Miss Fuyu's turn. Please introduce yourself.
Shiori stepped forward.
The classroom fell silent once again.
—Nice to meet you —she said, bowing slightly—. My name is Fuyu Shiori.
Her voice was soft. Calm, yet firm.
—I was living in England until recently. Due to my parents' work, we have returned to Tokyo.
She paused briefly.
—There are still many things I need to get used to... but I hope to get along with all of you.
She smiled. A light smile... Polite.
But it wasn't how I remembered it. Not completely.
. . .
I didn't realize when... I was smiling.
Maybe it was when I heard her voice.
Or when I saw her there, in front of everyone... as if nothing had changed.
As if all those years... hadn't passed.
But that wasn't true. Something had changed... And I could feel it.
. . .
The whispers started immediately.
—She's beautiful...
—Did she really come from abroad?
—She looks like a model...
I didn't pay attention. I couldn't.
My gaze remained fixed on her.
...
Until she moved.
The teacher indicated her seat. And Shiori began walking between the desks.
Each step was calm. Confident.
As if she were used to everyone watching her.
. . .
She stopped. Next to me.
My breath caught for a moment.
That seat... It was mine.
The one beside me.
...
Shiori slightly turned toward me.
Our eyes met.
Just a second. Maybe less.
...
—Nice to meet you.
She smiled.
Formal, distant.
As if she were speaking to a complete stranger.
Something strange stirred in my chest.
Not pain. Not exactly.
But it wasn't indifference either.
...
—...Likewise —I replied.
My voice came out quieter than I expected.
She gave a small nod...
and sat down.
. . .
The classroom returned to normal.
The teacher began the lesson as if nothing had happened.
The voices disappeared.
Notebooks opened.
Time... kept moving.
. . .
But for me... everything felt different.
Too close. Too distant.
At the same time.
. . .
Until—
Ring.
The sound of the bell broke the silence.
Class change.
—Well, that's all for today —the teacher said as she closed her notebook—. Get ready for the next class. We'll continue tomorrow.
Without another word, she left the classroom.
The murmurs immediately returned.
Chairs moving.Conversations resuming.
...
I didn't move.
My gaze remained unfocused, not fixed on anything in particular.
—Hey, Sora.
I felt a hand on my shoulder... I blinked.
—Are you okay?
It took me a second to respond.
—...Yeah —I murmured—. I was just thinking.
It wasn't a lie... But it wasn't the whole truth either.
Haru watched me for a few seconds more, as if he didn't quite believe it.
Then he sighed lightly.
—Well... don't just freeze there —he said, returning to his light tone—. We still have things to sort out.
Before I could react, he turned his gaze.
—Don't you think... Shiori? —Haru said with a slight smile.
. . .
Shiori blinked.
As if she hadn't expected to be addressed.
—Huh...?
Her gaze moved between the two of us.
First Haru.
Then it stopped on me.
. . .
Her expression changed.
Very slightly.
As if something didn't quite fit.
—I'm sorry... —she murmured—. I...
She frowned slightly.
As if searching for something in her memory.
Haru tilted his head, curious.
—What's wrong? —he asked—. Don't you remember us?
. . .
Silence.
Shiori lowered her gaze.
Her fingers gently clutched the fabric of her skirt.
—It's not that... —she said softly.
She closed her eyes for a moment.
And then—
Her expression tensed. Just for a second.
As if a memory had crossed her mind... too quickly.
Too intensely.
. . .
She opened her eyes again.
She breathed.
—Haru... —she murmured first.
Then her gaze shifted slightly.
—...Sora.
I felt time stop for a moment.
Shiori slightly raised her head.
Her expression was no longer confused. But it wasn't joyful either.
—Yes... I remember you —she said softly—.
She paused briefly.
—I just... needed a moment.
Haru let out a small laugh, relieved.
—Hey, for a second I thought you had completely erased us.
But Shiori didn't respond immediately.
Her gaze... was still different.
Distant.
—A lot has happened... —she finally added.
And this time... I didn't know if those words were an explanation...
or a barrier.
—Well... at least you remember something —Haru said, relieved—. You don't have to force it.
Shiori nodded slightly.
But before she could say anything else—
—Well... I arrived at the perfect moment.
Seiji's voice interrupted the conversation.
He approached calmly, stopping beside the desk.
His gaze moved from Haru... to Shiori... and finally to me.
—Did you start without me?
Haru let out a small laugh.
—We were just catching up.
Seiji slightly crossed his arms, watching Shiori carefully.
—I see...
It wasn't an uncomfortable look.
But it was... analytical.
—So... —he said calmly—. Was it hard for you to recognize us too?
Shiori smiled.
—Yes... I remember you.
Her voice was soft. Natural.
As if nothing was out of place.
—It's been a long time... but I'm glad to see you again.
Haru smiled immediately.
—I knew you wouldn't forget us!
Seiji nodded slightly.
I didn't say anything.
. . .
But something felt off.
Her smile... was perfect.
Too perfect.
As if it had been practiced.
. . .
—I hope we can get along —Shiori added.
But right after...
her fingers tightened slightly on the edge of the desk.
Just for a moment.
. . .
No one else seemed to notice.
I did.
. . .
After that moment... the conversation continued.
But not in the same way. It wasn't like before.
Haru was the first to try to break the silence.
—Remember when we used to argue about which movie to watch that day? —Haru said, laughing—. And in the end, Shiori would give the final say to Sora.
Seiji sighed.
—Because you only wanted to watch ridiculous comedy movies.
—That was cinema!
—It was unbearable and ridiculous.
Shiori let out a small laugh.
—Sora always ended up choosing...
. . .
—Because you couldn't agree —I murmured.
—We always ended up doing what Shiori said —Seiji commented.
Haru nodded.
—Yeah... you were like the leader.
Shiori shook her head softly.
—That's not true...
—It is —I said without thinking.
...
They all looked at me.
Shiori smiled.
This time... more natural.
—Yeah... I think I remember that.
But her voice was soft.
As if she were walking carefully through those memories.
. . .
I listened. Without saying much.
The scenes came to my mind little by little.
Fragments... Laughter.
Quiet days.
. . .
But something didn't fit.
Shiori participated.
She spoke. She smiled.
But there were moments... when she suddenly went silent.
As if she got lost.
As if something pulled her away for a moment.
And then she came back... as if nothing had happened.
. . .
No one said anything.
But I noticed.
. . .
Lunch came faster than I expected.
We sat together. The four of us.
For the first time in years.
—So, Haru —Seiji said—. Are you still into sports?
—Obviously —he replied, with a confident smile—. I'm on the soccer team. This year we're going far.
—That's what you said last year —Seiji added.
—This year is different.
Shiori watched them attentively.
—You haven't changed... —she murmured, almost to herself.
Haru smiled.
—Is that good or bad?
Shiori hesitated for a second.
—...Good.
—And you, Sora? —Haru asked suddenly—. What have you been doing all this time?
. . .
I felt their gazes on me.
—Nothing special —I replied—. Just... studying or writing.
—Writing? —Shiori repeated.
I looked up.
She was watching me.
With curiosity. Genuine.
—Yeah... nothing important.
—I don't think it is —she said.
...
I didn't know what to say.
Seiji stepped in.
—I want to study abroad.
—Really? —Haru asked.
—It's not certain yet —Seiji replied—. But it's an option.
The conversation continued.
More fluid. More natural.
But even so... there was something.
. . .
Every time the past got too close...
Shiori changed.
Very slightly.
Almost invisible. But enough.
And I... couldn't stop noticing.
. . .
At the end of the day, the bell rang again. The classroom began to empty.
. . .
We walked out together. Through the hallways.
As if it were something normal.
As if it had always been like this.
The sound of the bell marked the end of the day.
The flow of students began to leave the school, filling the hallways and the main entrance with noise and movement.
The four of us walked together.
It was still strange.
But no longer uncomfortable.
—Hey —Haru said suddenly—. What do you think about going out after school? We could go somewhere... celebrate a little.
Seiji nodded.
—Not a bad idea.
. . .
Shiori hesitated.
It was subtle.
But noticeable.
—I'm sorry... —she said finally—. I don't think I can.
Haru tilted his head.
—Huh? Why?
—My parents... —she replied—. They prefer that I don't come home late on weekdays.
. . .
There was a brief silence.
—Well... —Haru said, scratching his head—. I guess there's not much we can do.
Seiji nodded.
—We can leave it for the weekend.
Shiori smiled slightly.
—Yeah... I'd like that.
. . .
She stopped.
And for a moment... her gaze turned toward me.
—See you tomorrow, Sora.
—...Yeah —I replied.
. . .
Shiori said goodbye with a slight bow...
and walked away into the crowd.
I followed her with my eyes for a few seconds.
Until she disappeared.
. . .
—Alright... —Haru said—. then tomorrow we'll plan something better.
—Wait —Seiji added—. we have to stop by the office.
—Ah, right... the documents.
Haru sighed.
—Hey, Sora —he said, turning to me—. can you wait for us here? It'll be quick.
I nodded.
—Yeah.
—Don't move —Haru added with a smile—. we'll be right back.
. . .
I watched them walk away.
And suddenly... I was alone.
The noise at the entrance was still there.
But... it didn't feel the same.
. . .
A few minutes passed.
Maybe more. I don't know.
Then—
—Well... well.
. . .
That voice... I slowly turned.
Ryuji.
. . .
His expression was different.
It wasn't the same mocking smile as before.
It was worse.
His eyes... were fixed on me.
—Looks like you're not so alone anymore —he said, stepping forward—.
I didn't respond.
—Interesting... —he continued—. I didn't think you were capable of that.
He stopped in front of me.
Too close.
—What's wrong? —he added in a low voice—. Did you already find someone to defend you?
I felt the tension in my body.
But I didn't move.
—That's not it —I finally replied.
Ryuji let out a small laugh.
—Of course... it's not.
His expression changed.
—But don't get it wrong.
He took another step.
—You're still the same.
His hand tensed.
—And I don't like it when you forget your place.
. . .
Before I could react—
—Hey.
Another voice. Ryuji stopped.
It was Haru.
—Is there a problem? —he asked, approaching calmly.
But his tone... wasn't the same as before.
Seiji was behind him.
Silent.
Watching.
. . .
Ryuji looked at them.
And for a moment... his expression changed.
But only for a moment.
—Nothing important —he said finally—. I was just talking to him.
—It didn't look like it —Seiji replied.
Silence.
The tension was clear.
Haru stepped forward.
—If you have something to say... say it properly.
Ryuji smiled.
But this time... without amusement.
—Relax —he said—. I didn't come to fight.
His gaze returned to me.
—For now.
Then he turned around.
—Enjoy your new group... Sora.
And he walked away.
. . .
The atmosphere fell silent.
—Are you okay? —Haru asked.
I nodded.
—Yeah.
Seiji frowned slightly.
—That guy...
—It doesn't matter —I said.
But I knew it did matter.
Because that look... wasn't new.
And now... I wasn't alone anymore.
. . .
—Well... I think I'll head out —I murmured, taking a step toward the exit.
—Wait, Sora.
Seiji's voice stopped me.
I felt his hand rest lightly on my shoulder.
I turned.
—What is it?
Haru and Seiji exchanged a quick glance, as if they had already talked about this.
That... I didn't like.
—It's about Shiori —Haru said finally, this time without his usual carefree tone.
My body tensed slightly.
—What about her?
There was a brief silence.
Seiji spoke this time.
—You... remember her well, right?
. . .
I didn't respond immediately.
—Yeah —I said in the end.
My voice came out lower than I expected.
Haru crossed his arms, watching me carefully.
—Then I'm not imagining things.
I frowned.
—What do you mean?
Haru smiled slightly.
—The way you look at her.
. . .
I looked away.
—It's nothing.
—Right —Seiji murmured—. "Nothing."
His tone wasn't mocking.
It was... too precise.
—I'm just saying— —Haru shrugged—. it's been years, but some things don't change that easily.
I felt a knot in my chest.
—It's not that simple.
Seiji tilted his head slightly.
—For her... or for you?
. . .
That question... left me silent.
I thought about Shiori. About how she smiled.
About how... sometimes she didn't seem really there.
. . .
—I don't know —I finally admitted—. We just met again... and she doesn't even remember everything.
Haru nodded, this time more serious.
—Yeah... that worries me too.
—I don't want to ruin it —I continued—. If I say something now... it could complicate everything.
There was a brief silence.
—Or nothing might happen —Seiji said.
I looked at him.
—But if you do nothing... then definitely nothing will happen —he added.
Haru sighed.
—We're not telling you to confess tomorrow.
—Just... —he continued—. don't ignore what you feel.
. . .
I clenched my hand slightly.
—I know.
I looked toward the exit.
—I just... need time.
—Take it easy —Haru replied without hesitation—. No one's pressuring you.
Seiji nodded.
—But don't run away either.
I let out a small breath.
—I'll try.
Haru smiled.
—That's enough for now.
. . .
The three of us started walking toward the exit.
The flow of students had already decreased.
The atmosphere was calmer.
But inside me... it wasn't.
Because for the first time in a long time... I wasn't running away from that feeling.
And that... was much harder than it seemed.
. . .
The days began to pass with a calmness that, at first, felt strange.
Classes continued as usual, students gradually adapted, and a routine began to form within Asahi High School.
But for me... it wasn't the same anymore.
Now I wasn't alone.
Haru, Seiji... and Shiori.
At first, everything was a bit awkward. Conversations didn't flow completely, as if we were trying to rebuild something time had broken. But as the days passed, that began to change.
Laughter started to come more naturally.
Words... too.
And before I realized it, almost a month had passed.
. . .
I changed too.
It wasn't drastic, but enough to notice. I started talking more, responding without overthinking... even feeling like I belonged somewhere.
I was no longer just someone watching from afar.
And a big part of that... was because of her.
Shiori.
. . .
There were moments when she was exactly how I remembered her.
Smiling.
Speaking naturally.
Making everything feel... light.
But other times... something changed.
Her gaze would drift for a few seconds, her expression turning distant... as if something inside her shut off for a moment.
And then... she would smile again.
As if nothing had happened.
. . .
No one said anything.
But I noticed.
Always.
. . .
On Thursday afternoon, after classes, the courtyard was quieter than usual.
Shiori had left earlier for her club activities.
Haru and Seiji were with me, talking about unimportant things... but I couldn't fully focus.
There was something I had been avoiding for days.
. . .
—Hey... —I finally said.
Both of them looked at me.
—What is it? —Haru asked.
I hesitated for a second.
—I've been thinking about Shiori.
Haru smiled faintly.
Seiji just watched me.
—I don't know when it started... or if it ever really stopped —I continued—. But I can't keep ignoring it anymore.
—I feel a warmth when I'm with her, something that comforts me and makes me feel better, I remember those days, those emotions. And I don't think I could handle losing that again... drifting away from me.
I felt my own voice more honest than I expected.
—I don't know if this is the right moment. She still doesn't remember everything... and I don't want to pressure her.
I paused.
—But I also can't keep pretending I feel nothing.
Haru crossed his arms.
—There's never a perfect moment for that.
Seiji spoke next, calmly.
—The real question is... what happens if you do nothing?
I didn't respond.
There was no need.
—I don't want to regret it —I murmured.
Haru smiled.
—Then you already know what to do.
Seiji nodded slightly.
—It doesn't have to be perfect... just sincere.
I exhaled slowly.
Feeling something inside me settle, even if only a little.
—Tomorrow... I'll talk to her.
Haru didn't say anything, but his expression said it all.
Seiji simply nodded.
For the first time in a long time... I wasn't running away.
. . .
In the distance, from the other building, someone was watching us.
There was no need to see him to know who it was.
Ryuji.
This time... there was no mockery in his gaze.
Only something darker.
And he didn't take his eyes off us.
. . .
Haru looked at me with a smile, as if he had just noticed something that had always been there.
—Hey, Sora... why did you fall in love with Shiori?
The question caught me off guard.
I blinked for a moment, not knowing how to respond right away. It wasn't something I thought about in words... it had simply always been there.
Seiji was also watching me, in silence, waiting.
I looked away toward the courtyard.
—I guess... it started in elementary school.
I paused briefly, organizing my thoughts.
—Although... I had actually known her even before that.
Both of them paid closer attention.
—When my parents went on trips, they left me at her house. Our parents knew each other, so... it was normal.
A faint smile appeared without me noticing.
—She was always kind to me. She talked a lot... even when I didn't respond.
Haru let out a small laugh.
—I can imagine that.
—Yeah... —I murmured—. but back then I barely said anything.
My gaze drifted for a moment.
—It was in elementary school when everything changed.
The atmosphere grew a bit more serious.
—I wasn't always with her there... and well, there were kids who took advantage of that.
Haru frowned slightly.
—It wasn't anything out of the ordinary —I continued—. Teasing, shoving... things like that.
I let out a small breath.
—But one day they went a little further than usual.
The memory returned more clearly.
—And then Shiori showed up.
Without realizing it, I smiled faintly.
—She stood in front of me... and started yelling at them. She wasn't very strong, but she didn't back down.
Haru let out a low laugh.
—That sounds like her.
I shook my head softly.
—No, she didn't just yell... she also hit them.
That even made Seiji react a little.
—Seriously?
—Yeah. She was crying while doing it... but she didn't stop.
For a moment, no one said anything.
—And they just... left.
I lowered my gaze.
—I remember I was crying too. But when I saw their faces... I don't know why... I started laughing.
Haru smiled, this time more gently.
—From that day on, we really started talking —I continued—. And soon after... I ended up with you guys.
I looked at them for a moment.
—It wasn't something like suddenly "falling in love." It just... happened.
I searched for the words, but they weren't simple.
—I guess it was because... she was the first person who made me feel like I wasn't alone.
The silence that followed wasn't uncomfortable.
It felt... sincere.
Haru nodded slowly.
—That makes sense.
Seiji too.
—More than you think.
I exhaled slowly, feeling like I had gotten something off my chest.
—Thanks... —I murmured—. for listening.
Haru smiled and gave me a pat on the back.
—That's what we're here for.
Seiji added, in his usual calm tone:
—No matter what happens tomorrow... you won't be alone.
I nodded.
And this time... I truly felt it.
We stayed there for a few more seconds in silence, looking at the nearly empty courtyard, until we finally started walking toward the exit.
Tomorrow...
I was going to tell her everything.
. . .
Friday came faster than I expected.
All day, I couldn't fully concentrate. Classes passed... but my mind was somewhere else. Every time I looked at the clock, I felt time moving too slowly... and at the same time, not enough.
When the final bell rang, the sound echoed louder than usual.
Or maybe... it just felt that way.
Students began to stand up, packing their things amid conversations and laughter. The atmosphere filled with that light end-of-week energy.
But I... could only think about one thing.
I looked toward the seat next to mine.
Shiori was calmly putting her books away, as always. Her expression was calm... too calm.
I swallowed.
And walked up to her.
—Shiori...
She looked up.
—Yes?
For a second... I forgot what I was going to say.
—I... —I murmured—. can you do me a favor?
She tilted her head slightly, curious.
—Of course. What is it?
I clenched my hand a little.
—Could you... come up to the rooftop?
I paused briefly.
—In about fifteen minutes.
Her expression changed slightly.
It wasn't surprise... nor discomfort.
It was... curiosity.
—The rooftop? —she said.
—There's something I want to tell you. —I nodded.
The silence lasted a couple of seconds.
Shiori looked at me steadily.
As if trying to read something beyond my words.
Then... she smiled.
That soft smile.
—Alright.
She picked up her bag.
—If it's important... I'll go.
She paused for a moment before turning away.
—In fifteen minutes?
—Yeah —I replied, almost without thinking.
She nodded slightly.
—Then I'll see you there.
And without saying anything else... she left the classroom.
I stayed there. Standing.
Listening as the noise of the room slowly faded away.
Fifteen minutes... Just fifteen minutes.
I exhaled slowly... There was no turning back.
. . .
After a few minutes, I went up to the rooftop.
Each step on the stairs felt heavier than the last. I didn't know if it was nerves... or fear of what was about to happen.
I pushed the door open.
The afternoon air brushed against me softly.
The place was empty.
The sky was beginning to turn warm shades, and the sun slowly descended on the horizon. Everything looked calm... too calm for what I was about to do.
I walked to the railing and placed my hands on the cold metal, trying to steady my breathing.
My heart wouldn't stop racing.
I tried to organize my thoughts... but it didn't help much.
Then, I heard footsteps.
I turned.
Shiori had just arrived.
For a second, everything fell silent.
—Hi... —I murmured.
—Hi, Sora —she replied softly—. You said it was something important.
I nodded... my throat felt dry.
There was a bit of hesitation in me, a silence, but I couldn't go back to feeling like that again.
I took a step toward her.
—Shiori... since we met again... I've been thinking a lot about everything. About us.
She didn't look away.
That only made me more nervous.
—Maybe you don't remember everything... but for me, those memories are still there. And... not just that.
I clenched my hand slightly.
—You've always been someone special to me. Before... and after.
I paused briefly.
—It wasn't something sudden. It just... never disappeared.
The wind passed between us.
. . .
—I like you, Shiori.
I swallowed.
—No... —I shook my head slightly—. it's not just that.
I looked at her directly.
—I'm in love with you.
The silence that followed was... heavy.
Shiori didn't respond immediately.
But her expression changed.
Her eyes trembled slightly.
As if something inside her reacted before her own words.
. . .
—I...
She took a small step back.
—No...
She shook her head, almost automatically.
—Don't say that...
I frowned.
—Shiori...?
—No... —she repeated, this time with a weaker voice—. don't do that.
Her hands were trembling.
—I can't...
She placed a hand on her chest, as if it was hard to breathe.
—I can't see you like that.
. . .
At that moment, I felt an emptiness in my chest.
Her words were soft.
But they hurt more than I expected.
For a moment, I thought about saying something... anything.
But nothing came out.
—I'm sorry... —she murmured.
And before I could react...
she turned around.
Her steps were fast.
Too fast.
The door opened... and closed with a sharp sound.
Silence returned.
. . .
I stayed there.
Not moving.
Staring at the place where she had disappeared.
The wind kept blowing.
The sky kept changing.
But something inside me... had gone empty.
. . .
<< >>
Going down the stairs, Shiori tried to steady her breathing... but she couldn't.
Her chest felt tight.
Too tight.
As if something invisible was pressing her from the inside.
She gripped the strap of her bag tightly.
She didn't understand why she felt like this.
She just... knew it hurt.
Every time she thought about what Sora had just said...
"—I'm in love with you."
something inside her became unsettled.
An uncomfortable feeling.
Deep... instinctive.
Like rejection... like fear.
Her breathing became irregular.
And then... an image crossed her mind.
Dark.
Confusing.
A cold place.
Closed.
The feeling of not being able to move.
Of not being able to scream.
Shiori suddenly stopped, leaning against the wall.
Her body trembled.
—No...
She brought a hand to her head.
The pain came suddenly.
—What... is this...?
Her vision blurred for a second.
Tears gathered in her eyes, even though she didn't understand why.
She couldn't remember anything clearly.
But her body did.
And that... was worse.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
But the feeling didn't disappear.
It just... hid.
As if it had never truly gone away.
<< >>
. . .
I fell to my knees.
Without realizing it.
The ground was cold.
Or maybe... it was me.
—I didn't think... it would hurt this much... —I murmured.
My voice came out broken. I clenched my fists.
—Damn it...
My breathing became uneven.
I tried to look ahead... but I couldn't see anything.
Only that emptiness.
—I want... to cry...
The words came out almost voiceless.
I let myself fall completely to the ground, hugging myself.
—I knew it could happen...
But not like this. Not this way.
I shut my eyes tightly.
The rooftop, which just minutes ago seemed like a peaceful place...
now felt huge.
Empty.
Cold.
And for the first time in a long time... I felt alone again.
To be continued...