Chapter 81
*Aria*
The words hit me like something solid crashing straight into my chest, colder than the stone floors I had run across just to get here.
"Forbidden?" I repeated. The word felt dry and wrong in my mouth. My hand was still reaching toward him, but it slowly dropped onto the silk sheets beside me. "What are you talking about, Kael? We... I'm your Guardian. I'm supposed to be the closest person to you. I'm supposed to protect your life."
Kael finally turned around, but the man looking at me now didn't look like the same man from seconds ago. His eyes were dark and heavy with something painful and deep, something he was clearly trying hard to hide. His jaw was tight like he was forcing himself to stay calm when he didn't want to be.
"The Guardian bond is sacred, Aria," he said quietly, his voice rough as he began pacing between the bed and the balcony like he couldn't stay still anymore. "It's not supposed to be personal. It's a bond built only for duty. A joining of souls meant to protect the pack. They believe that if an Alpha and his Guardian become romantically involved, if there is love between them, it becomes dangerous."
Dangerous? How the hell was that supposed to be dangerous?
He stopped moving then and looked at me again. His eyes dropped to my lips for a brief second, i could tell he wanted to continue just as badly as I did, but instead he forced himself to look back into my eyes.
"The law says a Guardian must stay neutral. A shield. Nothing more. If I love you… if I choose you as my mate… they believe I will choose you over the pack when war comes. They believe I would risk everyone just to protect you. Because of that, they forbid it."
A strange laugh almost escaped me, sharp and disbelieving.
"So because fate decided I was the only one whose soul matched yours," I said slowly, "I lose the right to actually be with you? That's what being a Guardian means? That's the gift?"
"It's a curse," Kael said immediately, his voice breaking with frustration as a faint violet flash passed through his eyes. His Alpha power reacted before he could hide it. "I spent weeks fighting the instinct to mark you. Fighting the urge to claim you every time you stood near me. I thought once I found my Guardian, I would finally have the strength to protect you from the Council. From my father. From Lord Vane. I thought I could make my own rules."
He stepped closer to me then, close enough that I could feel the heat coming from him again, but he still didn't touch me. His hands stayed tightly at his sides like he was afraid of what would happen if he didn't control himself. The distance between us suddenly felt unbearable.
"But I was the one who sealed this," he continued quietly. "By using that ritual.… I gave you a title that cannot be taken back. You aren't just Aria anymore. Not to them. You are the Alpha's Shield now."
I looked down at my hands, and damn it they were shaking.
The resonance inside my bones was still there. Still connecting us. I could feel his heartbeat like it was inside my own chest. It was the closest I had ever felt to another person in my life, and yet he was telling me we weren't allowed to belong to each other.
"And if we ignore the law?" I asked, lifting my head again to look at him. "You're the Alpha heir. Shouldn't you have the power to choose who you want to be with? Or...you don't want me? Is that it? Am I unpleasant?" My voice trembled as I spoke, barely able to control my emotions. I had Just accepted the fact that I had actually fallen for this man, but I had barely even acknowledged these feelings and he was already pushing me away. It hurt so bad, more than it was supposed to.
Kael's expression changed immediately. The anger faded, replaced by something colder. "Fuck, Aria, don't you dare say that. You have no damn idea how badly I want you… how much I crave you."
His voice dropped lower on the last words, rough enough to make my pulse stumble.
"You think this is me pushing you away?" he continued, stepping even closer until my knees touched the edge of the bed and there was nowhere left for me to retreat. "Every time you're near me, every time you breathe my name, every time I catch your scent..." His jaw tightened hard. "Do you know what it does to me?"
My breath caught in my throat.
Kael leaned down slowly, stopping just inches from my mouth, like he was fighting himself with every bit of strength he had left.
"I want to mark you where everyone can see you belong to me. I want the whole pack to smell me on your skin and know you're mine before anyone else even thinks about looking at you twice. And if you think I don't want you in my bed, then you haven't been paying attention to how fucking hard you make my cock whenever you're this close.
My breath caught in my throat, my body heating up in ways I never thought possible. He has never spoken to me this way, not with suck filthy words. And goodness, I've never found him hotter than I did right now.
"But It's not just about me," he said quietly. "God damn the rules if it was, I don't give a damn about rules. I'd burn every damn law they ever wrote before I let them take you away from me."
His voice dropped lower. "But this is about you Aria, it drains the Guardian's life force. It would kill you."
The silence that followed felt heavy enough to make it hard to breathe. "So that's it?" I whispered, my throat tightening as tears burned behind my eyes. "We just stand beside each other for the rest of our lives? I protect you while you choose some 'proper' Luna to stand next to you instead?"
The growl that came from Kael's chest was sharp and immediate, loud enough to echo through the room and making me flinch. "Say that again," he said slowly.
Anger suddenly flashed in my eyes, "Yeah I will. We can't be together, you already made that clear. I never liked you in the first place so you have nothing to worry about, you can find your perfect Luna to accompany you while I rot in loneliness as your guardian." My chest rose and fell hard as the words left my mouth. But the second they did, I regretted them. But it was already too late to take back my words.