And now, all he can do is use this foolish way to get closer to her, hoping for more time to spend with her, more time to see her.
But... will she still be willing to accept him? Will she want him again? Even though she is still technically Mrs. Kinston, he knows this relationship doesn't really bind anything, but it is his only solace.
Even if it's just a self-deceptive comfort.
What he said to Atlas Shaw wasn't just for show; if one day she truly wants that freedom, he will give it to her, but... after truly giving it, his life... probably wouldn't have any meaning anymore.
He smiled bitterly at himself, his own fault... He always wanted to avoid repeating the mistakes of his parents, but up until now, it seems he is repeating the same things.
The difference is, his father found his mother after she died, but he, in this regard, is much luckier than his father.
