For a while, Shad remained still, wondering what that strange sensation could have been.
It was unlike anything he had ever felt before.
There had been something strangely peaceful about it.
A kind of peace he rarely experienced.
Normally, the only time Shad ever felt such absolute tranquility was when he slipped into what he privately called his absolute depression ta strange state he occasionally fell into without warning.
But this was different.
For once, he felt completely at peace without falling into that state.
What should I do?
Shad frowned.
Hmm... this has never happened before.
He thought back to his previous meditation sessions.
Even when he performed the same deep meditation on normal days, he had never experienced anything like this.
Well... except when I'm in that absolute depressed state.
His expression darkened slightly.
And I don't like that state at all.
Shad pondered for a while longer.
"Maybe it's because of this strange forest."
He immediately shook his head.
"But I can't be sure."
Jumping to conclusions without first verifying his assumptions wasn't something he would normally do.
I need to test it.
Shad took a deep breath.
Perhaps the strange sensation had been caused by the deep breathing meditation he had performed earlier.
If so, repeating the same process should produce the same result.
"Well, if the deep breathing meditation I did earlier was responsible for the strange feeling and the peace I experienced, then doing it again should produce the same result."
He paused.
"If it doesn't, then I'll have to consider other possibilities."
With that, Shad settled himself down.
He closed his eyes.
Slowly, he calmed his mind.
His heartbeat gradually slowed.
He inhaled.
Then exhaled.
Again.
And again.
Just like before.
His mind slowly entered a state of serenity.
Ten seconds passed.
Nothing happened.
Shad didn't become anxious.
He simply continued.
A minute passed.
Then five.
Then ten.
Still nothing.
Shad continued meditating.
Before he realized it, an hour had passed.
Yet the strange sensation never returned.
Eventually, Shad stopped.
He opened his eyes and stared into the darkness.
Why didn't it work?
He thought about it for a while.
But he couldn't come up with a logical explanation.
That left him somewhat disappointed.
"What am I supposed to do?"
Shad lay down on one of the enormous branches.
Above him, the night sky stretched across the gaps between the dark leaves.
He stared upward.
His mind was strangely empty.
Not peaceful.
Not troubled.
Just...
Empty.
There was nothing in his head.
No thoughts.
No questions.
No ideas.
Nothing.
For a while, Shad simply remained there.
Then he decided to meditate again.
But this time, it wasn't to reproduce the strange sensation.
It wasn't even to calm his mind.
His mind was already strangely calm.
There was no particular reason for this meditation.
No objective.
No purpose.
He simply wanted to enter that state.
The state where everything became silent.
Where thought ceased.
Where feeling became distant.
Shad closed his eyes.
Slowly, his breathing became faint.
His heartbeat slowed.
His consciousness began sinking deeper.
And then he entered that familiar state.
The state of emptiness.
To Shad, it felt as though he were falling into an endless void.
A vast emptiness where nothing existed.
Not even himself.
It was a state he occasionally entered when he stopped thinking and stopped feeling.
His senses became distant.
Almost irrelevant.
His emotions disappeared.
His thoughts vanished.
His sense of self became faint.
This was the state Shad privately referred to as his absolute depression.
He had never known exactly why he entered it.
He simply believed there was something wrong with him.
Something he couldn't explain.
Something he had never been able to fully understand.
Yet there was one strange thing about this state.
Despite its emptiness...
It brought him peace.
Absolute peace.
A kind of peace he couldn't seem to find anywhere else.
His breathing became so faint that it almost seemed as though he had stopped breathing entirely.
But he was still alive.
Still conscious.
Somewhere within that vast emptiness, Shad simply existed.
Or perhaps existed was the wrong word.
There was barely a sense of self left.
Everything was still.
Everything was empty.
Everything was...
Un-flowing.
That was the name Shad had given this strange state.
The State of Un-Flowing.
Then
Something stirred.
Shad felt it.
That strange sensation from earlier.
At first, it was barely noticeable.
A faint presence within the emptiness.
But unlike before, the sensation didn't disappear.
It became stronger.
Slowly.
Subtly.
Shad's consciousness instinctively reached toward it.
What is this?
For the first time, he could actually perceive the sensation clearly.
It was difficult to describe.
It felt as though something was moving through him.
Something subtle.
Something that existed within the deepest part of his being.
It seemed to originate somewhere beyond his physical body.
From within the depths of his very existence.
And then it flowed.
Downward.
From his soul...
Through his mind...
And into his body.
Shad's consciousness trembled.
What is happening?
This shouldn't have been possible.
When he entered the State of Un-Flowing, he normally felt nothing.
Nothing at all.
His emotions disappeared.
His thoughts disappeared.
Even his sense of self became almost nonexistent.
Yet now...
He could feel something.
And the deeper he sank into the emptiness, the clearer the sensation became.
It was almost as though the emptiness itself had allowed him to perceive something that had always been there.
Something he had never noticed before.
Then something even stranger happened.
Shad's original sense of self began to seep back into the emptiness.
Not completely.
Just enough.
His consciousness became simultaneously aware of the emptiness and the sensation moving within it.
He was conscious.
Subconscious.
And somehow, even beyond that.
All at once.
It was an eerie state of existence.
A state between awareness and unconsciousness.
Between thought and emptiness.
Between himself and something else.
But for the first time, Shad began to understand the strange sensation.
It was there.
Within him.
Flowing.
He couldn't explain what it was.
He didn't know where it came from.
He didn't know why he could suddenly perceive it.
But he could feel it.
And that alone was enough to tell him one thing.
Something inside him had changed.
For the first time in his life, Shad Darc had felt the flow.