Hearing that Cohen had joined the chorus of students shouting, "Teach us the Patronus Charm!", Edward was a little taken aback. But since even Cohen had given his approval, well...
"All right, all right, we'll change these two lessons to that then," Edward said. "I was originally going to save it as a surprise for you after Christmas—"
A cheer erupted from the students.
It didn't matter which spell they were learning; what mattered was that they felt like they were in control of the class's direction. For these stressed-out students, it was finally a way to release some tension.
"The Patronus Charm is an ancient and powerful defensive spell. It is the materialized embodiment of the most positive emotion a wizard possesses..."
Edward first explained the definition of the Patronus Charm.
"The incantation for this spell is, 'Expecto Patronum!' And now watch my wand movement—before you say the spell, spin your wand, recall your happiest memory, and then—Expecto Patronum!"
A large cloud of silvery mist, like an amorphous blob of dough, burst from the tip of Edward's wand.
A Dementor Patronus was just too over the top; Cohen knew Edward wouldn't actually conjure one up in class.
"A proper, powerful Patronus will have a semi-materialized form, usually in the shape of various animals," Edward said.
"Professor—why is yours just mist?" a student asked.
"Because my technique is poor," Edward said, without hesitation or shame.
"I've definitely seen Professor Norton's Patronus before, though," Harry whispered to Cohen. "It's the same as yours—"
"Shh shh shh," Cohen hissed.
Harry immediately dropped the subject.
For the rest of the lesson, they all practiced the Patronus Charm. Almost all the students could only conjure wisps of mist, which were smaller and less dense than Edward's.
Harry was the first to conjure a corporeal Patronus. When the stag bounded around the classroom, the other students all gasped in awe.
"Ten points to Gryffindor!" Edward said, looking very pleased.
The second one was Cohen—he conjured a silver unicorn.
The expression on Edward's face froze.
Wait, isn't Cohen's Patronus a Dementor? How did it become a unicorn?
Harry, Hermione, and the others were also a little surprised. They had seen Cohen's Patronus at that weird lakeside hotel; it was supposed to be a Dementor.
"Wanna learn? I'll teach you," Cohen said to them in a low voice. "You can even conjure a fire-breathing dragon Patronus if you want—"
With the two perfect examples in the class, the other students practiced even harder.
However, none of them managed to conjure a corporeal Patronus by the end of the lesson.
"This spell is indeed very complex and requires a great deal of happiness and a certain knack for it," Edward said, comforting the disappointed students as the class neared its end. "Keep trying and keep practicing. Just being able to produce mist is a huge success."
"What's the right happy memory for me?"
After class, Hermione anxiously ran her hands through her hair.
"I heard a student from Ravenclaw say that successfully conjuring a Patronus will get you extra points on the O.W.L. Defence Against the Dark Arts practical exam—"
"Think back to the happiest memory you just tried to use," Cohen said, raising an eyebrow.
"Huh? It was when I went on a trip with my parents—" Hermione didn't know why Cohen was asking her to remember, but she did it anyway.
"Not that one. You have a happier one," Cohen said, shaking his head.
People don't know which memory is their happiest—but a Dementor does...
The most delicious one is the happiest one.
Cohen could tell at a glance whether the happy emotion Hermione was giving off right now was the tastiest piece.
"That... is..." Hermione's face was a little red, and she stammered, unable to say what it was.
But Cohen said:
"Yeah, that's it—try again with that memory?"
"What—oh—" Hermione suddenly realized something, immediately pulled out her wand, and shouted:
"Expecto Patronum!"
A silvery-white otter shot out from the tip of her wand.
"Ron, look—" she said excitedly.
"I see it, you don't have to tell me how simple it is," Ron said impatiently, but he was more curious about Cohen.
"Mate, you're a better teacher than your dad—help me out, too. I want to conjure a Patronus."
"Don't you think you have more important, more proper things to do than conjuring a Patronus?" Cohen reminded him.
"What? Did I forget to write some homework?" Ron asked, looking bewildered.
"Sigh," Cohen sighed.
After thanking Cohen, Hermione walked away without even looking at Ron.
"What's wrong with her this time?" Ron said, not understanding. He looked at Cohen, then at Harry.
Harry shrugged, not getting it either.
Cohen just kept sighing.
"I can't believe you'll ever get married," Cohen said.
"Why are you bringing up me getting married again!" Ron was even more confused. "I was asking about the Patronus—wait, is this some kind of secret code between you guys?"
"Didn't you hear Hermione say your name the first time?" Cohen asked. "Think about it, where do you think she just found her happiest emotion?"
"You mean... Merlin's beard..." Ron said, covering his mouth.
"Merlin has a goatee," Cohen corrected. "At least, that's what the Chocolate Frog cards say."
"Wait, wait—you mean..." Harry said quickly. "Hermione likes Ron?"
"Do you like Hermione?" Cohen asked.
"No—I definitely don't, don't be ridiculous," Harry said. "I've always thought of her as a friend."
"I've always thought of her as a friend, too—" Ron said. "I mean, she's actually pretty good-looking... if I really had to... no—dating her sounds pretty good, actually—and with Hermione... I mean..."
"You're rambling now," Cohen said. "Here's a tip: acting like you've suddenly come to your senses is a really good opportunity to build a relationship."
"How do I 'come to my senses'?" Ron put his hope in Cohen.
"I'm not your external brain. You need to think about whether you want to be in a relationship, not me," Cohen said, shaking his head. "You decide how to make this relationship happen."
That's why Cohen found relationships so bothersome.
Dementors were much simpler; they only knew how to eat, and whoever had the food was the best.