A few moments later, Ron made up his mind and hurried off in the direction Hermione had gone.
Harry looked at Cohen with a very curious expression.
"Seriously, why are you all so dense?" Cohen said, massaging his temples. "This has been obvious since the Yule Ball last year, hasn't it? Why do you think Hermione got so angry after Ron didn't ask her to go? And Ron was obviously furious when he saw Hermione with Krum..."
"So you're saying, Ron actually likes Hermione too..." Harry said, understanding.
"I need to find a way to convince the Dementors not to suck the happiness out of people who aren't clever, or they'll turn into even bigger dimwits," Cohen sighed.
Ron's peacemaking mission was not a success. When Cohen and Harry arrived at the Great Hall, all they saw was a dejected Ron.
"Cruel, cold, and unreasonable," Ron said. "Just being difficult..."
"Where is she being cruel? Where is she being cold? Where is she being unreasonable and difficult?" Cohen asked, sitting down next to Ron with a mischievous look.
"She wouldn't even listen to my apology," Ron said angrily. "She said she wouldn't like me even if all the men in the world died out."
"That sounds a bit familiar," Cohen said, raising an eyebrow.
"Cohen, were you wrong? She's not trying to get me to be her boyfriend at all..." Ron said.
"If it doesn't work out, I'll find you a Dementor to be your wife. They're obedient, they won't argue with you, and they're easy to take care of without any expense," Cohen said. "You know, Dementors aren't that scary. They're actually quite reserved."
"I don't believe that," Harry said, shaking his head. "What's reserved about them? Sirius said he often saw Dementors aggressively kissing people with their mouths. It's terrifying."
"They don't have anything but their mouths and hands, so isn't that even better?" Cohen said, raising an eyebrow.
"?"
"?"
---
In early October, as the temperature in the Scottish Highlands began to drop, Carlton Grey's reply arrived.
It was Saturday afternoon, and Cohen was opening the letter by the fireplace in the common room, with the Count and his wife warming themselves nearby.
The content of the letter was not what Cohen had expected.
The woman had seen through "Butter Unicorn's" identity as a male, because "a girl wouldn't proactively write to a man with an unknown identity."
Especially not a Hogwarts student; doing so would be even more suspicious.
However, she was still willing to correspond with Butter Unicorn because she was unable to go out due to a problem with her legs and could only find pen pals to pass the time.
"So, did your wife notice that she's disabled?" Cohen asked the Count.
"Is the woman named Carlton Grey physically impaired?" the Count asked his wife.
"Coo-coo-coo," the Count's wife said.
"She said the woman was sitting in a chair and opened the window with her wand," the Count said.
"How on earth did you get all that from three 'coos'?" Cohen asked with a frown.
"How did you and those snakes get so much information from a few hisses?" the Count retorted.
"Magic, probably..." Cohen said, shaking his head.
Cohen wrote another letter, preparing to pry for information from the woman. He used the excuse that he had learned some "evil" spells at school and was afraid that he was wrong and might have become a Dark wizard...
The Count's wife delivered the letter again, which made the Count feel a bit bad for her in the cold weather.
"Feeling bad won't help. People have to work, and birds have to work too," Cohen said. "Do you two not go hunting in the winter?"
"But she's a pampered little owl," the Count argued. "I can dye my feathers, then I can take her place..."
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. After just a few months, you're willing to take on responsibility for this female owl, but we've known each other for so long, and I've never seen you offer to do my homework," Cohen said with disappointment.
"The question is whether I ended up doing it or not," the Count said flatly.
"There's a difference between you offering to do it and me forcing you to do it," Cohen said logically. "The latter makes me feel guilty."
"You? Guilty?" the Count tilted his head. "Do you think I'm easy to fool? You always look like you're having the time of your life."
"It's not that much fun, unless you're willing to finish drawing the Herbology class procedure chart for me today. I wasn't really listening in class; I was too busy playing with the Venomous Tentacula."
Cohen couldn't be blamed for not paying attention; the Venomous Tentacula was just too interesting.
It would reach out its branches to wrap around Cohen's fingers when it saw him hold out his hand, then shrink back in fear because of the dangerous liquid curse under his skin.
But a plant's memory is short, and two seconds later, it would reach out its branches to Cohen again, and then shrink back.
Reach out, shrink back, reach out, shrink back...
This form of entertainment might be too boring for first and second-year students, but it was just right for a fifth-year.
Professor Sprout was furious when she caught Cohen touching the Venomous Tentacula without gloves and gave him extra homework: to draw a standard procedure chart for touching the plant and harvesting its fruit.
With the homework successfully handed over to the Count, Cohen decided to go to Edward's office to supervise the preparations for Edward's club tonight.
However, when he arrived outside Edward's office door, he heard another familiar voice from inside.
"Congratulations," Edward said. "When are you planning to take up the post? Everyone really needs someone to take charge right now..."
"I'm already handling most of the matters, but officially, I'll have to wait for the election after Christmas," Mr. Crouch said. "I'm not here for that, though..."
"What is it, then?" Edward asked.
"I want Cohen to come to the Ministry of Magic after I take office to publicly declare his identity and stabilize the Dementors that are difficult to control," Crouch said. "His relationship with the Dementors is not ordinary, right?"
"Mmm-hmm," Edward's voice became a little cold.
"I'm not saying Cohen was involved in the Dementor escape. I'm talking about getting Cohen to re-establish a relationship with the Dementors, to give the wizarding community an explanation."
"I know what you mean. He's still in school. After you announce this, how do you expect him to live at school?" Edward said. "If it's just to help with negotiations, I might allow you to ask Cohen about it."
"Believe me, the things the Ministry of Magic has to deal with are far heavier than what your son has to bear."
"I don't care what the Ministry has to deal with. How you managed the Dementors before Cohen, that's how you'll manage them now," Edward said forcefully. "Surely the Ministry of Magic hasn't fallen so low that it needs a child to give up his own life to save it, has it?"