She has never lied to me.
I cradle her close.
Hold her in my arms.
My hand on her cheek.
"Please stand up. We have to go.", I whisper.
She smiles sadly.
Reaches up her hand to touch my cheek.
„I will. Just give me a moment.", she answers, her voice faint.
My hands are getting wetter and wetter as more blood leaks from her wound.
The smell of iron and copper fills my nostrils.
Her scent is almost subdued by it.
But it's still there.
The faint scent of lilies and grass and warmth.
Of happy times.
Of love.
Her body twists in itself, as she is hit by a wave of heavy coughs.
Blood spills between her lips, dying them red.
Like lipstick.
She never wears lipsticks.
She thinks it's useless.
I think it's useless.
We are two birds of a feather.
Have always been.
Were always similar.
We have to go.
We are like birds perched on a wire.
A wire above hell.
We have to leave.
Have to fly away.
Quickly.
Else, we will never leave.
She promises.
Promises she just needs a minute.
Promises she can get up in a minute.
Promises she can walk again in a minute.
Her voice is so faint.
Even as I strain my ears I can barley hear it.
I know.
I know that she can't let go of the wire anymore.
Her wings are broken.
My mind realizes that truth.
But my heart doesn't.
I cradle her even closer.
"Please…please get up…please stay awake…stay with me…", I beg.
I pray.
My voice is hoarse.
My throat has a lump stuck in it.
I notice my cheeks getting wetter as more tears stream down.
More and more.
I cry, my endless pleas continuing.
"Don't cry…", she whispers, wiping away tears from my eyes.
Her hand is trembling.
She doesn't have the strength to stand up anymore.
"Please…I want to stay with you forever…", I cry-beg-pray-whisper-wish.
„I want to as well.", she says.
She promises.
We will fly away together, she promised.
I want to believe her.
I will believe it all.
My hand takes hers that's still on my cheek.
It's warm.
I want to hold it forever.
"Let's stand up…and continue forward…come on…", I say, a bit louder now, urging her to focus on me…stay with me.
"I'm tired…", she answers, her voice even fainter then before, almost inaudible.
A choked sob escapes my lips.
I know.
We promised that we would fly together.
That we would always be together.
But I also know that she can't let go of that wire anymore.
Her wings are broken.
She is going to fall the moment she tries to fly.
I know that.
I know that she will never fly away with me again.
That she will never try flying away again.
That she can only watch me fly away.
That she can only watch me closely from that wire.
But I still wanted to fly with her.
I am greedy.
And know she pays the price.
My heart isn't accepting the truth my mind already knows.
Her eyes grow unfocused.
Then duller.
Her hand almost slips from my cheek.
I hold it tightly, but gently.
Always gently.
A last broken plea escapes my lips before sobs take it's place.
Her eyes are empty.
Staring into nothingness.
She isn't flying with me anymore.
Never again.
My tears fall onto her cheeks.
This time she doesn't wipe them from my eyes.
Doesn't smile at me.
Encouraging me.
Reassuring me.
Her hand in mine starts to grow cold, it's warmth fading.
Her warmth.
I cradle her closer.
Press her as close to my chest as I can.
Bury my face in her hair.
Broken sobs and chokes are all that comes from my lips.
It hurts.
Hurts so much.
Even my heart can't deny the truth anymore.
The truth that she is breaking her promise.
That she has already broken it.
The truth that she will never fly with me again.
The truth that she is lost to me.
"I want to as well."
Her words echo in my head.
I know.
Know that they are empty and full at the same time.
Know that she truly meant them.
Know that they are a lie.
Know that she is a liar.