Chapter 19
🌳 "Diwata of Nature"
One month after the events in Urdaneta, in a small barrio in the province of Ifugao, Erik walks with a basket of carrots on his back.
The basket weighs over ten kilograms, and he is trying to sell them to various stores in the villages and at the bottom of the mountain.
The surroundings show a peaceful and quiet life in the province, very different from other cities that are noisy with vehicles and many people around.
"I need to sell a lot more."
As he walks in the middle of the road in the heat of the morning, traversing the two-kilometer path to the next village, he suddenly stops because of someone he encounters on the way.
He stares, as if not expecting to see the being approaching him. There, in the middle of the road he was about to walk on, he sees the mysterious woman he met in Pangasinan who introduced herself as a Diwata (Goddess/Fairy) of Nature.
As before, she is wearing a white dress and is barefoot, seemingly unbothered by the heat of the ground and the humidity of the place.
She is still holding her stick, which she now points in front of the young man to stop him from walking.
The place falls silent at that moment, and Erik remains speechless upon seeing this woman again, as it never occurred to him that she would be able to travel to such a distant place and find him.
At that moment, the Diwata suddenly smiles at him and asks, "How are you, young Sugo? Did you miss me?"
Erik cannot answer the question due to his confused mind and a sense of apprehension, as he seems to be afraid of the woman standing before him.
~ Erik PoV.
Unexpectedly, I see the mysterious Diwata I met in the province of Pangasinan again.
I don't know why I feel so nervous right now, even though I have nothing to fear from her. She asks me again if I remember her, but I can't answer, perhaps because I don't want to remember anything about her.
Who wants to remember moments when your life was in danger? What she did—dropping my Diwata and me from thousands of feet in the air—was no joke. I felt like she wanted me to die.
I also can't forget that she threw me while I was pinned in a car. Those things are traumatizing.
Because I'm thinking of these scary memories involving her, I take a step backward from where I stand.
She sees this and notices that I want to keep my distance from her.
"S-so-sorry, but this is the first time we've met. You might be referring to someone else," I lie to her.
"Ah, is that so?" she replies.
I know my acting isn't convincing, but I only said it because I was panicking. Even though it's an obvious lie, the woman accepts it and apologizes to me. I don't know if her mind is weak, but it's good for me if she believes that lie.
"You see, I'm looking for a young man with short hair and a skinny build. I don't know where to start because this place is big."
Hearing that, I think to myself that this is my chance to fool her. I don't know why, but I assume what she's saying is true and lie again, saying I haven't seen anyone with the same features she is looking for.
I suddenly point to a mountain and mention the other village where many young people live.
Her face is so innocent, as if she is completely unaware of things as she speaks. "So, you think the person I'm looking for is on that other mountain?"
"Ah... Uh... I don't know? Maybe. We can't be sure, but I'm telling you, the person you're looking for is not in our village," I anxiously reply.
She suddenly smiles and thanks me for what I told her. I feel a bit guilty for making her believe a lie, but that's what's best for me. Right, I guess it's not a big deal.
She says goodbye to me and starts heading toward the mountain I pointed to. Since I succeeded in deceiving her, I feel relieved and sigh.
I worry about her journey, especially since she's barefoot and alone, but she's not my responsibility, and I just don't want to be in danger again.
As she walks away from me, she suddenly stops walking. At this, I start to feel anxious.
While stopped, she raises the stick she is holding and suddenly slams it onto the ground.
I don't understand, but a cold wind touches my body, causing my hairs to stand up from fear. Because of the anxiety I feel, I rush to walk away from that place.
I hurry and almost run just to get away immediately, not minding the weight of the basket on my back. A few minutes pass, and I get tired of running and decide to stop because I've gone quite far.
I feel confident that she won't see me, but to be sure, I look behind me.
"I guess I've gotten far away from her now."
Since no one is following me, I assume I've escaped that woman, but I'm shocked when something touches my back.
"Do you really think you can deceive and escape me just like that?"
I can't speak to explain to the Diwata while feeling the stick poking my back. She didn't like my lying and is now seemingly threatening me for deceiving a Diwata.
"Do you know that the punishment for disrespecting a Diwata like me is three hundred times death in different ways?"
I turn to face her and kneel on the ground to beg for my life. I'm like a cowardly child with my head bowed to the ground.
It wasn't my intention to trick her, but I was probably just carried away by my fear of her. I try to move and apologize, but when I raise my head to look at her, I don't expect her to suddenly hit me on the head with the stick, causing me to bow down again and hold my head.
"Do you know the one thing I hate the most is people lying to me?"
I immediately apologize for what I did and admit my mistake was just due to panicking at that moment, but she hits me on the head with the stick again and tells me to stop making excuses.
"I don't need your excuses because people can easily lie with words."
At that moment, she comes closer to me and sits in front of me. While I'm bowed down, she lifts my head, and I'm shocked when she touches her forehead to mine, just like she did before.
Our noses are almost touching because of what she's doing while she closes her eyes and senses my presence. I feel the light presence enveloping her again; it's very light, pure, and very pleasant to feel.
A strong wind blows around us, and leaves are carried by the wind, swirling around us.
At that moment, my panic vanishes, and I calm down as I gaze at the Diwata's beautiful face.
In the silence of the surroundings, she suddenly asks me if I feel any evil in her. I recall the moments when I felt a negative energy from Alfredo.
"Our energies are currently merging as we connect to each other. You will feel my inner state, and I will feel yours, too."
She states that through this connection, we can perceive anger, doubt, fear, and other emotions felt by the person we are connecting with.
After explaining to me, she stands up and places her hands on her hips while lecturing me. "I feel a negative aura on your body caused by fear and doubt toward me."
At that moment, she tells me everything I feel about her through our connection. I can't deny it to myself, but it's wrong for me to tell her I'm afraid to be with her because of what happened.
She asks me again if I felt anything in her presence during the time we were connected and if I felt anything negative.
Based on how I felt when I was with Alfredo, this is very different, so I admit to her that I didn't feel any negative energy from her.
"In that case, it only means I have no ill intentions toward you, so what are you afraid of?" she asks.
"I-I can't help but be afraid of you because of what happened and what you did to me before," I whisper.
"Huh?"
She is puzzled by what I said and states that she didn't do anything but help me. I don't know if she understands, but her way of helping almost killed me. Maybe it means nothing to her, but I am very afraid of her methods.
"You're so dramatic. I wouldn't do anything that would kill you, and have you forgotten that you are protected by your Diwata's power, so you won't die even if I throw you?"
"It's not about that. It's traumatizing for someone like me to experience falling from the sky and being tossed around. I'll die of fear because of what you're doing," I whisper to myself.
"Even if you whisper, I can hear you. You're too much of a coward for a hero."
"Coward? I have a reason to be afraid because you are scary!" I shout because of her insult.
She suddenly hits me on the head with the stick, telling me to stop raising my voice. She ignores what I'm saying and continues to call me a cowardly hero.
"How can you save people if you are so cowardly and fearful?"
At that moment, I shake my head at the Diwata because I can't bear to hear the word "hero" since I am a failed person.
I can't answer her and just bow my head because of the sadness I feel.
The Diwata notices my avoidance of the topic, but instead of stopping, she continues to mention what happened.
She asks me if I'm losing my motivation to be a hero just because of what happened in Pangasinan.
Even if I don't answer, I know she knows what I'm feeling. I don't know if I can still continue and experience failure.
"You're really weak. Are you going to give up for such a simple reason?"
"Maybe... I don't know if you understand me, but I feel like I'm not worthy to be a hero because I'm a weak person."
"I did everything I could, and even though I failed, I continued to rise to save. I repeatedly trusted and believed that I could save him. I didn't lose hope as long as my body could still move."
"I did what you told me—to keep trying and trying as long as there's a chance—but in the end, everything was useless."
"I lost the important person I was supposed to save."
It's heartbreaking to think that you did nothing, feeling useless. You try hard to hold their hands to save them, but in the end, they still slip away from your tight grip and bid farewell.
I don't know if the Diwata is listening to me, but she doesn't seem interested in my drama, and she hits me on the head again to silence me.
"It's not your fault that the Sugo of Pangasinan died. Choosing death was his own decision, and you couldn't do anything about it," she says.
"I know this, but maybe I'm just afraid to fail again. I mean, maybe I'm really not destined to be anyone's savior," I say listlessly.
I don't know what to do, and at that moment, I want to make endless excuses to her just to avoid being a hero and the duty entrusted to me by my Diwata.
I may be a coward, but I don't want to feel the loss of important people in my life again. It hurts so much, as if it's crushing my heart. I don't want to fail again.
I am consumed by sadness and disappointment in myself at that moment, and while I lifelessly avoid the gaze of the Diwata in front of me, she suddenly holds my head and strokes it.
"Humans are inherently weak. What you feel is a sign that you possess a heart—a feeling that is hurt, tired, and afraid."
"No matter how hard you try to be strong, you cannot avoid being hurt and losing courage amidst trials."
"Humans are naturally weak because they often depend on their feelings and emotions in a situation. They are dictated by their inner self, carried away by doubt, and consumed by fear."
A moment later, she removes her hands from my head and holds my hands. At that moment, she places them on my chest, over my heart.
"The human heart is a remarkable thing because it can dictate a person's actions, even if it goes against the reason their brain knows."
"Many people, and I am referring to you, young Sugo."
I just bow my head as I hear those things because, truthfully, the Diwata is right in saying that I don't want to be a hero because of the fear I feel in my heart.
At that moment, I apologize to her, accepting the weakness of the heart I possess.
However, the Diwata's tone seems to change, and she states that I cannot turn my back on my Diwata.
"I'm sorry, but you cannot turn your back on your sworn duty to a Diwata. You will be a hero whether you want to or not."
"But like I said, I don't think I can fulfill it anymore. Surely, my Diwata will understand," I rationalize.
"A Diwata will never understand the excuses and rationalizations of people driven by their fear to abandon their duty," she quickly replies.
"But how can you say that?" I ask.
"I know because I am also a Diwata, and I will not allow you to just give up."
I know she is not accepting my explanations, and when I try to make excuses again, she hits me on the head with the stick again and orders me to close my eyes.
I have no idea what her plan is, but she is too insistent, and her stick is already raised, so I have no choice but to close my eyes and comply.
As I close my eyes, I feel a light flick on my forehead. Suddenly, images and memories appear and rush into my mind.
Memories of tragedies and heinous crimes.
Terrifying events accompanied by the shouts and cries of people begging for their lives. I don't know if what I'm seeing is real, but it's incredibly scary. I see people being punished and mercilessly killed in front of me.
I can't handle those scenes, as I feel the emotions of those people, and before I completely go insane with fear, the Diwata wakes me up.
I suddenly sit up from where I was lying. I didn't even notice I had fallen to the ground, and I'm currently panting heavily.
What I saw was a nightmare, and my nervousness shows from what I experienced in that dream.
At that moment, the Diwata sits in front of me and says that those memories came from the Sugos she once connected with, and she showed them to me as an example.
"Some of them suffered greatly and grieved over the tragedies they went through. Many of them, like you, were afraid to experience the same pain again—people consumed by fear and doubt about whether they could rise again amidst their situation."
"Erik, humans are naturally weak, but that doesn't mean you should give up and surrender when facing a trial."
As she says this, she holds my chest, over my heart, and says, "Make the heart and feelings you possess your strength to save those who are losing courage."
At first, I don't understand what she said about the heart I possess. What can a heart that is losing courage and strength do?
"Many people are afraid and struggling in their situations—people who need the help of a hero like you."
I slowly start to understand what the Diwata wants me to realize: she wants me to be strong for the sake of others.
People who can't defend themselves against others. That's right, saving them is part of my responsibility as the hero I promised to be, but can I?
At that moment, I look at my hands, thinking if my small hands can really save anyone. Can I hold them tightly?
The Diwata stands up where we are and turns her back to walk away.
While I'm just staring blankly, watching her walk away, she suddenly speaks.
"Erik, you must be the strength of every person," the Diwata suddenly says to me.
At that moment, she suddenly faces me and says that the citizens of the Philippines need a hero to look after them.
As the Diwata slowly raises her hands, a confusing image suddenly flashes in my mind.
At that moment, the Diwata is reaching out her hands to me, as if inviting me to join her.
A strong wind blows around us, carrying the leaves and letting the long hair of the mysterious woman flow.
I don't know how to react, marveling, as it seems I've seen this event before while recalling the image of a Diwata in my dream. I suddenly imagine that the Diwata in my dream is the same Diwata in front of me.
"The motherland is calling you to protect her home. Will you answer it?"
"Little Hero of the Philippines," she says, smiling.
At that moment, I look at my hands again and think, can I save anyone with these small hands?
I can't help but doubt myself, but when I look at the Diwata's face again, as she smiles at me and invites me to save people, she seems completely unconcerned about the weakness I possess.
That's right, this mysterious Diwata has believed in me from the start, that I can and will be able to do it. The truth is, I have the ability to save people because I am the Sugo of Ifugao, and I accepted it because I want to save others. Like she said, I'm just making excuses and rationalizing to escape my sworn duty because of my fear.
At that moment, I seem to gain the courage to continue. I realize that I am ready to take a chance for the sake of the people who rely on a hero like me.
I shouldn't hesitate anymore because this is what I am destined to do.
The reason why I am alive.
"Please, help me become a great hero," I say, slowly reaching out for the Diwata's hands.
End of Chapter.