Read ahead of public release on P atreon at: p-atreon.com/Knockturn_Alley
Check out Chapter illustrations on Pixiv at unhinged_uchiha
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A few days later, Hokage Building—
"Hiruzen, you… you have to deal with this mess! It's affecting my reputation and causing problems for me…!!!" Elder Utatane Koharu slammed her fist on the table in front of him, her face flushed with fury.
Out of nowhere, vicious rumors had erupted claiming that she has been Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen's secret lover for decades. Even worse, people were saying that many of her children had been personally 'contributed' by Hiruzen himself.
And as if that wasn't humiliating enough, the gossip claimed her position as one of the village's Elder Advisors was only possible because she was his secret concubine. How could she possibly swallow such nasty, degrading rumors about herself?
"You think I don't want to diffuse these rumors?" Hiruzen rubbed his temples wearily, looking exhausted. "More than you, these rumors are damaging me. But no matter what I try, they just won't die down…"
He truly didn't understand how these rumors had appeared so suddenly and targeted him and Koharu so precisely. How could they be so accurate?
As the Hokage who had always maintained a flawless, perfect image, the gentle, wise leader with a loving family, these scandalous rumors were far more devastating to him than anyone else. He was supposed to be above reproach. Yet now, all of a sudden, the village was buzzing with whispers about his supposed secret affairs.
This wasn't how things were supposed to go! The rumors were meant to target Uchiha Kanzou and create cracks in his relationship with Uchiha Mikoto; they were not supposed to target him! Why were people far more interested in gossiping about him rather than that arrogant Uchiha brat?!!!
Why? Why? Why?!!!
The answer was actually quite simple.
People were far more fascinated by scandals involving a 'perfect' man with no visible flaws than by someone who was openly a bastard and a scumbag. Even if Kanzou was having an affair, it wasn't particularly surprising; it sort of fit his image of a rogue bully man. But such behavior was completely unexpected from someone like Hiruzen, who had cultivated an image of moral perfection for decades.
Moreover, nobody knew the identity of the mysterious woman connected to Kanzou. She was faceless, making the rumor abstract, less engaging, and grounded for it to be anything substantial. But in Hiruzen's case, the target was crystal clear: Elder Utatane Koharu, who had worked closely beside him for nearly four decades. She had no husband, and the fathers of many of her children remained unknown. All these factors combined made the rumor feel disturbingly believable to the villagers.
Not to mention, some of her children did look as ugly and monkey-like as Sarutobi Hiruzen. How could that be possible if they weren't contributed by the leader of the pack of monkeys himself?
"How could people even know about this…? Why all of a sudden? Nothing had happened in all these years… but now…" Koharu bit her nail anxiously while pacing back and forth across the office, her usual dignified composure completely shattered.
Hiruzen clenched his jaw tightly, his usual calm and wise demeanor cracking under the intense pressure. "That damn Uchiha… this has his stench all over it."
In Hiruzen's opinion, this matter was undoubtedly related to Uchiha Kanzou.
While he had tried to defame the young Patriarch by spreading rumors of a secret affair, Kanzou must have immediately taken steps to strike back. The speed, precision, and sheer viciousness of these counter-rumors bore all the hallmarks of that arrogant Uchiha.
And they struck him like a slap in the face.
Koharu grew even angrier upon hearing about the Uchiha involvement. "The Uchihas… they really are a pain in the ass…"
Only a few days ago, one of the mansions she had carefully arranged for one of her children had been taken away by the Uchihas and handed over to that random Eternal Genin, Might Duy. She was still figuring out how to get it back and toss that pathetic, useless man out, and now these disgusting rumors had suddenly exploded, leaving her no room to focus on reclaiming the property.
It only fueled her fury further.
And there was one more matter that was deeply confusing her.
She stopped pacing and turned toward Hiruzen with a sharp, suspicious look. "Even if it is him… How does that Uchiha brat even know about this matter…?" she asked in disbelief, unable to understand. These details weren't supposed to be known to most people, not even their old squadmates. At most, Hamura and Danzō could be suspicious, and that's it. But they shouldn't know for certain who the father of some of her children is.
Yet now it seems... the entire village knows.
She paused, then turned to Hiruzen with a sharp, accusatory look. "How did Biwako react??"
"I haven't been to my house…" he sighed heavily, looking utterly exhausted. He hadn't dared return home since the rumors broke out. He simply didn't know how to face his wife, Sarutobi Biwako, or his two sons.
Therefore, how his wife was reacting to these rumors... he had no idea. But he could guess that she wouldn't be happy about these rumors.
As they were discussing these things, there was a knock on the door of the office. Koharu immediately fell silent and sat down on the side as Hiruzen ordered the ANBU outside to enter.
"What is it?" Hiruzen questioned, noting that it was the Spider-masked ANBU.
"Hokage-sama… there's a report regarding a mission…" she said, stepping forward and handing him a small scroll.
"Anything else?" asked Hiruzen. The ANBU shook her head.
Hiruzen nodded. "Alright… you can leave."
The ANBU glanced briefly at Koharu, who was pursing her lips tightly, before bowing and exiting the room.
As she was leaving, Hiruzen suddenly stopped the ANBU, "Wait... Is there any news about Uchiha Fugaku from Eagle?"
"Nothing so far…" Spider shook her head.
"Fine… step back," Hiruzen said as the ANBU left.
Now left alone with Koharu once again, Hiruzen unfolded the scroll to read the report… only to frown slightly.
"What is it now?" Koharu asked, sensing that something might be wrong.
"It's nothing… It's just a report of a Rank-C mission failing, and the ninjas dying…" he shook his head.
The lead ninja who had died was Sarutobi Eijiru from his own clan, along with three Chūnin. But it wasn't that big of a matter. It wasn't rare for shinobi to die on missions. Even if it was only a Rank-C mission, such tragedies happened.
If the situation had been normal and he wasn't already drowning in these nasty rumors, he might have frowned and ordered a deeper investigation. But currently, he didn't have the mental capacity for it. He simply chalked it up to bad luck, closed the scroll, and set it aside.
Elder Koharu didn't care much either and simply said, "Hiruzen… just please… do something about these rumors…"
"I think… it's better not to do anything about them…" Hiruzen responded calmly.
"What do you mean? Let these nasty rumors continue to spread…?" Koharu was unhappy and frustrated.
"Damage control will only make things worse," Hiruzen explained, rubbing his tired eyes. "In matters like these, it's better to stay silent and quiet and let the storm pass. People will eventually forget about it. I'll make sure to spread some other stories to divert their attention… and that's about it. These rumors come and go. So just let them pass."
He was fully familiar with how rumors worked. Trying to forcefully stop one was nearly impossible, and active damage control would only fuel the fire by making it seem like there was something to hide. Staying silent, keeping a low profile, and diverting public attention was the best strategy.
Koharu thought about it for a moment, then let out a long, frustrated sigh.
"Fine… I hope that works…"
"It will…" Hiruzen assured her confidently.
Unfortunately… Hiruzen was wrong.
The rumors weren't going to pass so easily. And it wasn't because he misunderstood how rumors generally worked. It was because there was someone else who also understood the mechanics of rumors and knew exactly how to ensure they didn't die out.
Of course, that person is none other than Uchiha Kanzou.
He knows that to keep a rumor alive and burning, you have to keep fanning the flames in creative ways and add new details to the rumors. Since he knows this, he has of course already taken measures for the next step of this little rumor war.
After all, he had no intention of letting Hiruzen off the hook so soon.
"Hazuki... are the preparations made?" Kanzou asked, tapping his fingers on the armrest.
"Yes... he has been explained everything... and repeatedly trained what to do... Performance has been flawless so far, so there shouldn't be any problem," nodded Hazuki.
"Well then... send him out... let Sarutobi Hiruzen and the entire village realize that Sandaime Hokage has a long lost son from an unknown woman whom he refused to acknowledge..." he ordered, chuckling at the expression Hiruzen would make when he finds out about this.
"Very well..." she nodded, leaving the office...
Watching Hazuki leave the office, Kanzou took a slow sip of his tea, his eyes narrowing slightly in thought.
'How come there are no Evil Points for defaming that monkey?'
He was a little confused. He had expected at least some Evil Points, even if only a small amount, for spreading such damaging rumors about the Hokage. Yet so far, nothing had come. This lack of feedback made him wonder.
'Don't tell me that the rumor about Sarutobi Hiruzen and Utatane Koharu is actually true?'
It wouldn't be all that surprising if that were the case. Utatane Koharu, although an old slut now, had indeed been quite the beauty in her younger days, definitely more attractive than Hiruzen's wife, Sarutobi Biwako.
She had been born a civilian with no particularly glorious background, and that does beg a question. How had someone with such meager strength managed to climb all the way to becoming one of Konoha's four senior elders?
Kanzou didn't believe it was due to her own talent. At best, her strength would have been that of an Elite Jōnin, and even that was being generous. A woman with no special jutsu or kekkei genkai having the strength of an Elite Jōnin, yeah right... as if that would ever come true in this Nepotistic misogynistic world.
For a woman to have the strength of an Elite Jōnin... that's incredibly rare, and it only ever happens with women that either have a special background, Kekkei Genkai, or secret Jutsu.
Civilian women can hardly reach that strength, and Kanzou thinks that, at most, Koharu had the strength of a regular Jōnin at her peak. Yet she sat as an Elder. How?
'If it's that old slut… it is indeed possible that she seduced Sarutobi Hiruzen and managed to sway his heart to gain power and influence for herself…'
After all, lust was one of man's oldest and most reliable weaknesses. Sarutobi Hiruzen was still just a man. Self-control? When a beautiful woman willingly spreads her legs in front of you, the only organ capable of thinking is the one between the legs, and that head has never known self-control in the history of mankind.
Not to mention, people in positions of power were almost always the most corrupt and degenerate ones, regardless of how pure and righteous they tried to appear.
Which means that Sarutobi Hiruzen and Utatane Koharu might indeed have something going on between them all these years.
'Haaah… it'd be amusing if that's the case…' Kanzou thought, taking another leisurely sip of tea. Even if he didn't gain Evil Points directly from this, as long as he could disgust Hiruzen and create real trouble for the old monkey, he didn't feel like he was at a loss.
...
Outside the Hokage Building, a bearded man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties and looked somewhat haggard arrived at the entrance. When the guards stopped him, not recognizing the man, and asked for his purpose, he spoke openly and loudly, "I want to meet Otou-sama… let me go inside…"
"Otou-sama…? Who is it?" the guards asked, growing suspicious. If you want to meet your father, go to his home. Why come here?
"Of course… it's Sarutobi Hiruzen. He is my Otou-sama. I want to meet him," the man said, trying to step past the guards.
The guards quickly blocked his path. "There is no way you are Hokage-sama's son…"
They knew very well that Hokage-sama only had two sons. Well, excluding the possible children with Elder Koharu that were currently being gossiped about in the village… but the man before them wasn't even one of those. What was going on?
"What? You people think I am lying…?" the bearded man said, raising his voice. "How could you ninjas say this…? Sarutobi Hiruzen is really my Otou-sama… My Okaa-sama told me so on her deathbed. She said that it's the leader of the pack of monkeys from Konoha… there is only one leader of monkeys here, so it's really him who is my Otou-sama…"
The guards' expressions changed drastically. "Stop with the buffoonery… and go away… we don't have time for this."
They felt this guy was deliberately causing trouble and comparing Hokage-sama to a monkey. That was outright mocking the Hokage! They are already being generous, not capturing him outright for mocking the Hokage... anything beyond that? That's definitely not allowed.
"Why would I go away…? I want to meet Otou-sama… I need him to take me into the Sarutobi Clan… I am even the legitimate heir of the Clan since I am the firstborn… I need to claim my inheritance…" the man shouted, growing agitated. "Let me through… I want to speak personally with Otou-sama… I want to speak with Sarutobi Hiruzen, who is my Otou-sama… let me go, you bastards... I want to ask him why he abandoned my Okaa-sama after getting her pregnant... let me through...!"
The bearded man's loud shouting quickly attracted the attention of many passersby. People stopped in their tracks, murmuring among themselves.
"This guy… he says he's Hokage-sama's son? What's going on?"
"Did Hokage-sama abandon his Okaa-sama after getting her pregnant? Did he really do that?"
They grew curious and gathered to watch the unfolding drama as the man continued shouting that he was the son of the Hokage, the legitimate heir of the Sarutobi Clan, and should even be the next patriarch, and perhaps the next Hokage, causing quite a scene as he tried to forcefully push his way inside.
The guards, however, refused to let him through. Yet they also noticed the growing crowd watching with great interest. They exchanged quick glances before one of them said, "I see… let's talk about this matter inside. We will inform Hokage-sama…"
At that moment, the man suddenly stepped back, his eyes widening in fear.
"No… you guys… you guys are planning to capture me and dispose of me, right…? Is that what Sarutobi Hiruzen has told you all…? To secretly kill his bastard children?? Knowing him... he must do this kind of thing quite often, right?"
"That's not the case at all…" The guards tried to deny it, their voices growing tense and angry.
But the bearded man suddenly raised his voice even louder, shouting desperately toward the gathering crowd, "Help… help…! These ninjas… they… they are trying to dispose of me…! Help… someone…!!!"
"You…!!!" The guards' expressions changed drastically. They quickly moved to forcefully restrain the man, intending to drag him away before the situation escalated any further. They knew full well he was intentionally causing trouble.
Just as the bearded man was about to be captured, several members of the Uchiha Police Force emerged from the crowd, instantly drawing the attention of everyone present.
"What's going on here…?" Shin, who was personally leading the squad, stepped forward with a calm but authoritative voice.
"It's the Police Force…!!!" the crowd murmured, thinking that the matter was about to become even more fiery.
The guards felt their hearts sink. 'Why are they here…?' Having the Uchiha Police Force arrive at the scene at this time was definitely not a good thing.
The bearded man, seeing the police, immediately latched onto the opportunity and cried out even louder, "Help me… help me…! These guards… they are trying to dispose of me…!"
"Huh? Is something like that going on…?" Shin raised an eyebrow and quickly moved in, preventing the guards from dragging the man away. "Let him go."
"You… what the hell are you doing? Don't interfere with our work…" The guards were furious, glaring at the policemen.
But Shin smirked, standing his ground firmly. "Public security is our responsibility. The ones interfering are you guys…"
"This guy is slandering Hokage-sama… are you guys going to protect him…?" The guards questioned angrily.
"That's not true… all I want to do is meet my Otou-sama… how is that slander?" the bearded man defended himself, looking aggrieved.
"Aren't we saying that you can come with us… We will let you see Hokage-sama…" another guard tried to reason, his tone growing more strained.
"I don't trust you… You, people, are definitely planning something bad… the way your eyes are looking at me is definitely giving that vibe…" the bearded man said, quickly hiding behind Shin for protection, as if truly terrified. "Let him come out here on the street... I will meet him here... go... call him..."
Shin feigned surprise as he looked at the man. "You are… Hokage-sama's son?"
"Yeah… but these people, they don't want to let me meet him… it must be because he is afraid that his bastard son is here and wants to do something bad to me…!!" the bearded man 'explained' with dramatic fear and desperation in his voice, clutching onto Shin's sleeve as if his life depended on it.
Shin's smirk grew wider beneath his composed expression, though he maintained a serious front for the watching crowd. "To think he would do something like that towards his own son just to hide his own true nature as a man who has many illicit relationships and many illegitimate sons… It seems this is the kind of person Hokagay-sama truly is…"
The tension in the air thickened instantly. The two groups of shinobi faced off while the growing crowd began murmuring louder among themselves.
"Is Hokage-sama really that kind of person…?"
"I thought these were just rumors… now there's another son… what's going on?"
"Didn't the rumor say that he has a secret relationship with Elder Koharu…? So how come this man is also claiming to be his son?"
"Who knows… maybe there were other women as well with whom he had secret relationships…"
"Yeah, well... that kind of man who cheats on his wife can indeed cheat with more than one woman..."
"You…!!" The guards looked at Shin with barely contained anger. His words had made the situation far worse, pouring fuel directly onto the flames of the already spreading scandal.
"Me, what? You guys have something to say to me? Huh?" Shin stepped forward aggressively, scowling as he activated his Sharingan. The three tomoe spun slowly in his crimson eyes, exerting heavy pressure on the guards.
Under the oppressive gaze of those powerful eyes, the guard who had been about to retort gulped nervously and took a half-step back, his words dying in his throat.
Just then, the bearded man, as if suddenly gaining courage from Shin's protection and the growing crowd, raised his voice even louder and shouted toward the Hokage Building:
"Call him here…! Call Sarutobi Hiruzen here on the streets…! I want to meet this so-called Otou-sama of mine who actually wants to secretly dispose of me…!!!"
Just when the matter was becoming even more chaotic, an official hurriedly walked out of the Hokage Building, raising his hands in an attempt to calm the growing crowd.
"Everyone, please calm down…" the official said loudly, then turned toward the bearded man. "Hokage-sama is currently not here. He has ventured out to meet with Daimyō-sama in regards to an important situation concerning the national security of the Land of Fire. It may take a few days for him to return. Until then… why don't you come with us? If you are truly Hokage-sama's son as you claim to be—"
The bearded man immediately interrupted him, crossing his arms with a huff. "He isn't here… Humph! Well then… I'll wait here for him to return… while sitting here on the street…"
"You can't… sit on the street like that… it'll cause a public disturbance…" the official said, looking a little flustered.
"It won't… I will only be occupying a little space in the corner… and I will wait for him to return," the bearded man declared stubbornly. With that, he plopped himself down right there in the corner of the street, looking resolute.
"…" The official paused, completely at a loss for words. He could only stare helplessly at the man now sitting on the ground. In this situation, with a large crowd watching intently and the Uchiha Police Force standing nearby with the intention of protecting the man, it was difficult to do anything else without making the scene even worse.
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A/N:
It's a pity that I haven't managed to reach my goal of 400 PS despite this being the second week. However, many readers have been giving PS, and combining the previous 2 weeks, I have managed to reach 400 PS.
To make sure that those PS aren't wasted, I am dropping the Bonus Chapter.
At the same time, I am asking other readers to donate more PS as per the special deal of 400 PS for the Bonus Chapter!!!!
Of course, you may also read ahead of public release on P atreon at: p-atreon.com/Knockturn_Alley
Check out Chapter illustrations on Pixiv: unhinged_uchiha
If you like this story, then you might also like my other story: One Piece: The Incubus' Adventure. Give it a try.