"Shit." The knot in my throat tightened. I fought tears overflowing with pain, but they began falling against my will. I tried to swallow them. Useless. No. Not now.
Too late. The sky and I shared the same anguish. While it cried frozen tears, I cried mine. A sorrowful symphony.
I suppressed a choking sob, afraid of disturbing Kiara and Anichka. Silence amplified everything. The room was an ocean of absence, and I was sinking. The weight in my heart expanded endlessly. Crushing. If I let a single sound escape, I would fall apart.
"Wish you were here, Maia. Wish we'd had more time to live more memories together. Hold hands more. For you to bring me into your world." I pressed my mouth against my arms. "You said… you'd always hold me. Always be here. Then why aren't you?" I sobbed.
Sometimes, I opened the bioscreen and almost sent Maia a message. Almost. Why was she gone? Why?
Kiara rushed up the stairs. Eyes wide, she came toward me and cradled me.
"I miss her so much. Why?" This emptiness inside me hurts so much. An emptiness that has stayed since… "Every day, I wonder if I could've done something. Something different that day when…"
"Hey, hey. You did more for Maia than you realize."
I lifted my eyes.
Kiara looked at me as though she saw everything. The pain. The emptiness. The guilt. Her expression held something unreadable, yet deeply resonant. "Shh. It's okay." She tried to comfort me.
"I wanted to see her again. Only in another life, right?" I wiped my face, smoothed my hair, and rested my hands on my shoulders. Only in another life. I tried to cling to a thread. "It's my only comfort. Thinking we might find each other in another life." I let out a feeble laugh.
Kiara held my hand tenderly. As confusion tangled into knots inside me, she comforted me. Made the burden lighter.
I thanked her for being there. "I'm better. Sorry for bothering you."
"No need to apologize." She smiled tenderly. Looked toward the dawn spreading across the sky. "Already getting light."
"Yes. Couldn't sleep." I hugged my knees.
"By the way, you were impressive. Saving Trix. Taking care of her." Her words warmed me.
"It was nothing special."
She rested a hand on the bed. "It was. You know what mercenaries can do, and you saved her immediately. Know you would've done it for anyone." Kiara gave a teasing smile. "Even fell in love with one."
My face warmed. A glance away. A held breath. I lost myself among words. Lightly hit her arm.
We stayed quiet.
Night was leaving. The cold world outside contrasted with the unexpected warmth within.
Kiara watched the view. "Hey." She grew serious. Her gaze weighed on me, but held something comforting too. "Know you've been through some things. But from now on…"
"I'll face whatever comes. Keep moving forward." Such visceral certainty could only come from feeling. I had to trust what my heart felt. I would overcome whatever came. Had to.
She smiled with her eyes. "We leave soon. Then back to Brazil." Her tone mingled relief and worry.
Finally, we would return.
I simply lived, and time dissolved into night and day. I had been so distracted that… I remembered. "Did you know all along that Trix was the Pakhan's daughter?"
Kiara spoke comfortably. "Yeah. Accessed the EY-Link files. The nanoprosthetic contained the Pakhan's genetics, which caused incompatibility with other test subjects. They needed to connect someone with the same genes."
My stomach churned. "What he did to his own daughter…" The air grew heavy. My throat dried. A bitter taste spread through my mouth like poison.
Kiara raised an eyebrow. "That's this corrupted world. The closer someone is, the easier it is for them to destroy you. The one who should protect you causes your ruin."
I had lived in a rosy world. Yet pleasant as my life in Zenith had been, I'd had a painful experience of my own. Though hardly comparable. I kept her words in my heart. "Beyond this world too." I shook my head. No. Time to look beyond that past.
"It's time. Feeling better?" Kiara stood.
"Yes. Thank you. This means a lot to me."
She smiled.
I got ready. Took the mask and revolver. Went downstairs.
Anichka was awake and neatly dressed. She carried herself like royalty. A proud jaw. Neat hair. A dignified gaze. She wore an ushanka. E-makeup concealed the strangulation marks on her neck. No dark circles. No swollen face. No redness. No sign she had cried endlessly the previous moon.
Yet the weight showed through the veil in her eyes. Pain whispered its presence. She knew the journey was ending. Soon, she would be where she belonged. She had to maintain a majestic, honorable expression. In the end, we all wore a mask.
"Are you the eldest sister?" I asked, my Maiden curious.
Kiara finished gathering our things.
Anichka turned to me. "No. I have an older sister. Heir to the throne. A brother and two younger sisters." She swallowed, holding back tears.
Perhaps Yuri had threatened one of those sisters.
"Okay. Enough talking. Let's go." Kiara walked toward the exit.
We got in the car.
The android drove quickly.
"Six hours on the road. What're we supposed to do?" Anichka traced her fingers over the glass. "There's something Trix never answered. I was so curious."
The android looked at her in the rearview mirror. Impatient. Kiara barely spoke as it was. With the girl? Even less.
I carried the conversation. "What?"
"Didn't she feel cold? Her arms were always bare." Anichka rested her chin on the ledge and breathed against the glass, revealing little hearts drawn there.
I had wondered the same. Kept the question to myself. Accepted that I could live without the answer. I opened my mouth…
"Because they connected her to nanites with climatic nanoadaptation." Kiara surprised us by answering. "A weapon like her had to be free."
Climatic nanoadaptation? I frowned. Underworld nanoscience really was on another level. Biochips were programmed for climate changes, but only offered a thin protective layer against temperatures.
The princess stared at the horizon. "It's strange… all this time beside my sister, and I never noticed. Now I know, though, so much makes sense. Know I must've acted spoiled. Always feeling out of place. But Trix is so strong. So determined. Wish I could be like her…" Anichka turned, waving hastily. "I mean, I don't wanna be a mercenary. Just wanna be as strong as her."
She blushed, a little awkward.
Kiara and I chuckled.
S-2879 • L11 Irraluna • D17 Fluxli
"Irraluna radiates light in a gentle descent. Fluxli releases the thread in a living curve. The tide draws silver through open air. The story carries on whole, in deep radiance."
We continued the tedious journey in silence. The landscape stayed white throughout. Dark, twisted trees appeared sparsely.
The worst part was Anichka's irritating grumbling. I tried to overlook it because she was a teenager. Still, it was annoying. Kiara was distinctly displeased too. Despite that, the atmosphere felt lighter.
We approached our destination. Helsinki.
Kiara parked on a hill.
The storm approached from the north. A white wall swallowed the horizon. Wind cut like a blade. Crystalline dust covered the horizontal city. Hid Helsinki beneath an icy veil, obscuring the colorful buildings, houses, and businesses in the distance.
What did a Russian princess need to do there? A diplomatic mission? Something was about to happen. I felt it. I rubbed my gloved hands. Squinted.
A shadow approached. Finally, they had arrived. Like Kiara, I wanted to leave.
Anichka squeezed her fingers anxiously. She might be royalty, go on diplomatic missions, and deal with politics from a young age. Yet she still faced the usual problems of a teenager.
The blizzard thickened, obscuring the view. I narrowed my eyes further as the figure approached.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding." Kiara's body stiffened. An internal engine vibrating in readiness.
I frowned, feeling electricity in the air. The figure came close enough. I understood the android's anger.
"N-no…" Anichka froze. Terror on her face. Her fingers dug into Kiara's arm. "P-please. It's…"
"Ah. Good to see you again." Yuri's voice carried an irritating cynicism, as though he enjoyed this. He clasped his hands before him. His sarcastic smile widened.
"What the fuck is this?" Kiara's fist clenched so tightly it almost creaked.
He placed a hand over his chest and bowed. "Forgive my earlier behavior. You know… it was necessary. Glad the princess is well. You may hand her over. I'll complete the escort."
Anichka held back her tears so they would stay unfrozen on her face. She hid behind Kiara. "N-no… it's him… t-the android who threatened to kill my sister."
"Shut the fuck up." Kiara approached Yuri.
"Again, my apologies. I won't hurt your sister. Or you." He held out his hand cordially.
What had happened? Why was Yuri there? I was so confused.
BANG! The blast split the icy vortex. A black bolt cut through the white.
Yuri's body fell like a puppet on invisible strings. Metallic liquid stained the white snow for an instant before the wind swept it away.
My heart leaped. I tried to step forward, but my foot slipped in the snow.
Kiara holstered the gun. With readiness. With ease. The silence after the shot was deafening. She stared at the android's body on the ground. "Give it about ten minutes. Had to do that."
"What's happening?"
"Kiara, please," Anichka begged, abandoning her noble posture.
"SHH! He's gonna do fuck all! Can't you read the fucking situation?"
"W-what? Read what?"
An ill-timed giggle escaped me. I touched Anichka's shoulder. "Relax. It'll be okay."
The princess released Kiara's arm and grabbed my hands. "Are you sure? Promise?"
The gesture surprised me a little. I nodded.
She seemed calmer.
I smiled at her innocence and wished everything would be okay. Ah, who was I trying to fool? One thing was certain amid all that madness: Anichka would remain untouchable in her palace.
Ten minutes later, Yuri moved his fingers. Then his arms and legs. He stood and adjusted his coat with perfect execution. "I understand your reaction. Truly."
"Get to the fucking point." Kiara stepped forward. The ground creaked beneath the pressure of her fury. Her boiling aura melted the surrounding ice.
Yuri adjusted his collar, indifferent. "By the way, it's in our interest to know the Russian Pakhan was assassinated yesterday. What happens now? The woman who killed him escaped without a trace."
"Saymon…"
"No. He's away. Only asked me to pass on the message." He held his hand out to the princess. "Come now. We have until eight tonight to reach Eduskuntatalo."
Kiara gestured impatiently. "Go ahead. You're safe."
Anichka looked at us hesitantly. "Y-you're sure?"
"Fucking go."
The princess took a moment to react, then stumbled toward him.
Yuri took her hand gently. "You know what the card means, right?" He taunted Kiara before turning. "One more thing. He asked you to visit on the full moon. Three in the afternoon. A surprise awaits you."
They began walking.
Anichka turned toward us one last time. Wind howled. Snow rose around her like a royal mantle. Her feet stayed planted in the ice. Her tearful gaze asked for something even she could not name. She hesitated, as though wanting to say more, but the words had frozen in her throat. Then she lowered her scarf.
"Thank you," she murmured and turned. A silent promise.
I waved goodbye. Would we see each other again?
They faded into the snowy mist.
Kiara glared at the horizon, seeming to brood over fury accumulated long ago. A powerful rage condensed in the air, sending chills through me. "Time to go back."
We got in the car. In the rearview mirror, snow swallowed Helsinki. The last trace of the fold at the end of a cycle.
I had traveled more in those three lunations than in my thirty-five cycles of life.
Finally, we would return to São Paulo. In Brasil, I would have more answers. More questions. Where I should be. This time, though, I was choosing to stay.
Before, São Paulo had reminded me of what I had lost. Now, it was the starting point for what I still needed to find. The desire rooted in me to throw myself entirely into Maia's universe. I had to return to where everything began.
The wounds had reopened. Others would follow.
I took a deep breath. Gave Kiara a knowing look.
Even furious, she smiled back.