Why do these memories keep coming back… repeating themselves? They were gone. I had moved past them. Or at least I believed I had.
Why am I remembering this? It's over. It was far from touching me. But then… the pain returns. And I'm that child again.
How many cycles had I lived? Maybe seven or eight.
I went downstairs that cold night, but forgot why. Stopped halfway and hid behind the wall when I heard shouting. I had heard those shouts before. They were becoming more frequent.
I shuddered. Fear.
That voice. My father's voice. "Think you're better than me?"
I leaned forward to look. He was slapping my mother's face. My blood ran cold, and my heart almost stopped. What was happening? I wanted to cry.
"Think you're better than me because you discovered NeuroSync's final code?" Another slap. A scream. Riki threw Hideaki to the floor.
She braced herself against the couch. Crying desperately, shaking her head. "I-I… don't…" Her tangled hair fell across her red, bloodied face. Her hands were bloodied too. She curled into herself. Arms raised to protect her.
In vain.
Riki shoved her. Each blow drove her body harder against the floor. "Think you're better than me?! ANSWER ME!!!" His face burned with fury.
Hideaki stayed silent.
"Must've enjoyed all that attention, huh?"
My stuffed animal fell onto the step below. Trying to catch it, I fell. My head struck the wall.
Silence.
I picked up the stuffed animal and sat, rubbing my forehead.
And then… everything changed.
Riki stared at me. Furious. My mother lifted her face. Her wet eyes reflected guilt and sorrow.
He walked toward me. Teeth clenched. "What do you think you're doing?"
I shrank back and hugged my teddy bear. He yanked my hair hard. Tears streamed down. The child in me slipped away with them. "W-wanted some water."
Was that why? Had I come down for water? The certainty was gone.
My mother dragged herself toward us. "LET HER GO!" She tried to pull him away, but he stood firm. "LET HER GO!!!" She gripped his arm harder. Riki was too strong.
"You're supposed to stop studying at ten. There's a water dispenser in your room. Where's Takashi?" A threat in his voice.
I trembled.
"Go back upstairs. We'll talk tomorrow." He released my hair.
I stayed still.
"NOW!"
I gathered my strength and ran to my room.
The last thing I heard: the slaps and Hideaki's screams.
My mother's scream stayed with me. It's still with me.
Even now. Even after everything.