I woke. White light blinded me, and around me, an even whiter room made it difficult to see. The weight of my body was unbearable, but the pain in my chest… crushing. Why had those memories returned? Why? I had locked them away deep in my heart. Now they were back. Burning.
"Who are you?" The voice sounded gentle.
Denden? Where was his voice?
"Are you hungry?" The soldier, dressed in a white lab coat, sat with his legs crossed, his eyes on the holoscreen before him.
I nodded. Weakly. Stiff muscles and bones kept me still. Would I survive? Or was I already dead? Kiara's words rang like a bell. Nobody would come looking for me. After all, they had blocked my biochip.
Giving up would be easier. I had grown used to the constant, excruciating pain. My scattered thoughts whispered: I've lost all purpose. I questioned whether it was worth continuing. Surviving. Fighting for my life. Why should I? Everything felt empty. Meaningless.
Maybe it was better to accept that I would die. I felt my life slipping away. While suffering consumed every atom of my being, the soldier casually picked up a cereal bar. The crinkling wrapper grated on my ears.
He brought the bar to my swollen mouth.
All I could taste was blood. My hunger was murderous. I ignored the pain of biting down. Just one more pain among so many. The piece caught in my dry throat, and I choked.
He gave me water.
It tore its way down my throat. I drank as though I had spent days in the desert. And I had.
"Better?" An apathetic voice.
Better? A dormant instinct stirred. Anger burned in my chest. He gave me a miserable scrap of food and drops of water. Then asked whether I felt better? Playing savior to the suffering they themselves had caused. I imagined punching him in the face. Glared at him.
He sighed. "Your identity remains inaccessible. Your mind is highly resistant."
Sound grew muffled, but I concentrated on every word he said.
"Despite that, I saw some interesting fragments. You're a doctor from São Paulo. Responsible for crucial research involving memory. Impossible to know more, of course. The Aether Network always conceals which nanoresearch projects it conducts." He uncrossed his legs and leaned close to my face. "I want to know who you are. And the details of this research of yours." He gave a friendly smile.
A lie. I knew what this meant. The wires connected to my head.
Sinaptic-V.
The nanotechnology inspired by truth serum. Nanites amplified its effect, interrupting the transmission of information from neurons to other cells. The essence's willpower was completely suppressed, alongside side effects of hallucinations, seizures, and high fever.
That explained why I had relived those memories. I had been under the device's influence for days. Judging by my impaired senses, hunger, thirst, psychological and emotional exhaustion. Still, mental resistance could mitigate the software's impact, even partially.
Riki had trained us, Hideaki and me, to resist any methods of induction. Since I was eight cycles old, he had exposed me to those programs. Taught me to babble disconnected information. He said that, for a scientist, protecting her most precious asset, her brain, was a matter of survival. After all, sharks were always lurking in Zenith. Ready to exploit any weakness and take everything from someone.
"W-where's Denden?" My energy drained with every syllable. I blinked. Fighting to stay awake. Why was I still trying?
He chuckled. Contemptuous. "Even in this situation, you're still worried about others? Impressive. Anyway, explain this research." His voice remained calm. "What was a doctor doing in the Alexandria warehouse? Is the Aether Network trying to steal our nanotechnology again?"
What was he talking about? I tipped my head back. Pain throbbed intensely. The side effects persisted. Even with the device switched off, my body trembled. Cold sweat. My clothes, soaked in blood, vomit, and sweat, clung to my skin.
"N-nothing… to say." Uttering a few miserable words took a colossal effort.
His jaw clenched. His eyes flashed with anger. "You're at your limit. You'll break soon. I'll get every piece of information I want out of you. Then we'll retaliate against the Aether Network. They'll pay for what they did to Egypt." His gentleness dissolved into an arrogant smile. He gripped my face hard. Left. Abandoned me to an oppressive silence.
I breathed deeply, trying to stay calm. Dread took hold of me. The water was nowhere near enough to replace all the fluid I had lost. My stomach felt as though it had shrunk from lack of food.
I smiled. Bitterly. Made a bet with myself: would dehydration take me first? Malnutrition? Blood loss? Or brain death?
He was right. I had reached my limit.
The pain. The emptiness. The sound of the wrapper. The taste of blood. Wires embedded in my skin.
Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?
ZZZZT The shock again.
Electricity tore through my cells. Set my veins ablaze. Fried my brain. Spasms shook my body. Muscles tore inside me. My heart missed beats. Every fiber burned. I fought it. My strength was minuscule.
No.
I would fight their attempts to exploit my mind however they pleased. Block access to my brain. Use the only possible method to prevent the induction: take control of it.
Why was I still trying? An intuition from another version of me, perhaps. I clung to what kept me steady. What made me fight.
I closed my eyes. Reached for my memories of Maia. Focused on mastering my thoughts. If they want something, all they'll find is a hollow labyrinth. An echo.
My thoughts? No. Only disconnected babbling. Distortions.
I would die, but I would defend my dignity to the end.
I let the memories of Maia envelop me.