As I am led to the prison in a mix of various vehicles, mainly police cars, and a police bus in a long series of lame bureaucracy, I ponder what to do and be a mopey bitch. My main thought process is trying to be my escape plan, but it's so fucking easy, I think I've done it before at this point.
It's just doing dumb shit. Buying toilet wine to melt the locks cause I don't want to make it, I'm using my toilet. Pissing on the door occasionally to melt the lock that way. I know from my time in juvy they give you blue gel deodorant that could meld with the piss to do a neat chemical reaction if I'm lucky. Let's hope it stays acid. Otherwise, base will harden the steel or wood to an extent. But it's a double edged sword. It becomes like crystal, which is raw and intriguing. As more will break at once when I truly break it.
I end up spending more time wondering about him. My step brother. Today his name is Stephen Wright, what a fucking Conner meme. Fucking Christian Conners always conning with bullshit.
"So how's life been, step-" I try flirting.
"We don't know each other." he says firmly.
His face morphs to a chubby red head.
"What a fucking douche. You couldn't have stayed cute?" I say with sarcastic annoyance.
"You're lucky I even be anything close to your type. Piss me off, I'll be Peter Griffin." Conner says with his own sarcasm and annoyance.
He literally becomes fatter on the spot. And mexican. He's my Grandpa for a brief second before becoming like, the janitor at a Wal-Mart job I had before. I roll my eyes and sit back.
"So is there any chance I know-" I say, confused and annoyed.
"NO! Shut up. I will get to charge you with sexual harassment just for wanting to call me step bro." Stephen? snaps angrily.
I am confused but still aroused. Lately in my Machivellian mind, it is trying to scream at me that I'm psychic now. And that I call out to Conner cause well… apparently in this haunted new and old bedroom of mine with two beds, we had… a fun House life here. Basically a… Otacon and Emma Henderson meme if you catch my drift. You'll have to play Metal Gear Solid 2 to get the full idea of that. And even then, it's barely the vibe.
Their dad was a r@t#4d. He drowns himself. My dad is unfortunately a genius to an extent. And so is his. Cause they work too well together as fucking sick kids who wander around making people sick like fat pig groomers do as living, breathing biological weapons.
It's funny dealing with my father when I remember something important. His build fluctuates a lot. Like well… another man I dream of far in the future. A man named Sora. In a world where this situation is won and well… I have a store job.
He is chemically unstable when I consider this fantasy. To the point he morphs like Sora. I've seen arguments between myself and my father where he starts off fat. But within a cigarette and a few hits of weed and my weed vape, he is skinny and crying Binding of Isaac tears.
Now roll with me on this. Christian tears if made well are bullshit. They're biological weapons that are second base to blood. As in it's just how they poison things when they're not gonna use their blood like Lazarus.
It's honestly decent for its subtly, but otherwise its a mile away from using diseased blood. But still useful in a sad way for sick kids that don't mean for anyone to die. But the bastards of this twisted dark side of Christianity has awoken in me because of a thing I did while I rode the prison bus today. Because of-
"So you know this is like binding of isaac right?" Stephen? says with malicious glee.
The vibe is gone, he isn't my husband.
"I consider prison to be more high tech than that." I say nonchalantly.
"It isn't this time. It's the rat race." Stephen? says fearfully.
Stephen?... legitimately tears up. He is scared for me as he begins ranting, I realize I have some cleaning up to do of a prison before anything.
"They don't even keep locks in here, it's ruled by gangs covered in filth. They throw poop and piss at each other. And rub their pus from their boils on each other. It's a death cage I don't even like going to." Stephen? rants with angry sadness.
As always, the Dark Hero awakens in me. But I stay silent. For now. I do not think he is trying to traumatize me too much this time. I think he's just ranting to cope.
I listen, half-interested. Honestly I fill in more blanks based on the one game he mentions alone. Mixed in with what I know of the high tech world that should exist.
But then… it doesn't. It's so fucking stupid. I get ejected from my seat with a parachute coming out the back as we turn around the side of the cliff on a highway. And I float into a prison yard filled with black people. So artificially black it's burning my nostrils with such intensity I am in intense pain and madness.
I literally have a intense flashback of a documentary I saw in high school. Of people that feel brave now. The first janitors of America. Who took over the streets with brooms and waves of soap. I feel their rage as I realize disgusting bastards took over this prison.
And well… there's no one but us here as he says.
"IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED, YOU DISGUSTING F@GGETS!" I yell furiously.
I undo my seat belt and begin yanking on the parachute to force it down faster out of sheer rage. Then I see something that peaks my interest more. A Employee's Only Entrance off to the side of what looks like… a AutoZone warehouse? What the fuck? Why do I have a random home court advantage due to my former job from 2022-2023?
I am confused but my terrorist self is incredibly aroused. I can win this war with that fridge alone. Unfortunately it won't be as a cleaner. Poop is flammable, so if I burn this place down, these fuckers should fry to the point spontaneous combustion could happen if I make the fire intense enough. And there's hypothetically things to do that. Car fluids for one obviously. But unfortunately here there never was the ultimate cliche: Gasoline. Unless there are cars in the parking lot. Which I see some, but they are old and covered in moss. Not worth checking.
I float over the parking lot of the warehouse now and sail onto the entrance of the parking lot. To be met with an old ally and my worst boss ever. Who only called himself KY. As in-
"Nice to meet you. I'm KY. As in I'm so pleased to fucking KILL YOU MYSELF!" KY yells furiously.
"I love this start for once." I say with malicious glee.