So what comes after death? Heaven? Hell? Reincarnation?
Big question, lots of theories.
For me, the answer was:
Bad news: I died.
Good news: I got to reincarnate.
Great news: I got to pick my powers.
Terrible news: I didn't realize I'd been dumped into Konosuba.
How did this happen, you ask?
Well, it went something like this—
---
I didn't wake up in a shining paradise, or a fiery inferno.
No, instead I woke up in… a foggy black void.
Sitting cross-legged on the ground, I stared at the floor like it personally offended me.
"Wow. Premium afterlife experience, huh? 0/10 on Yelp."
And then—
A girl walked past me.
She was beautiful. I mean painfully beautiful. Long, flowing blue hair. Eyes the color of a summer sea. Slender figure. Big chest. Long legs. Short skirt. Divine aura. All that jazz.
[Insert image of Aqua]
She sat herself down on a throne that had appeared out of nowhere.
I blinked. My brain stalled. "…Is that Aqua?"
And right on cue, confetti popped into existence, party horns went off, and Aqua pointed dramatically at me like some cheap carnival host.
"Congratulations! You are the 100th soul to be reincarnated today! Because of this, you win a special prize! Instead of just one weapon or ability, you get two!"
I rubbed my face. "Okay, so… not a dream? Or maybe the worst gacha banner I've ever pulled."
Aqua laughed, and dear god, it was the kind of laugh that made me want to commit a second death.
"Your death wasn't even that tragic! Car crash, saving your little sister—eh, happens all the time. Honestly, it's one of the most common deaths I see. Hahahaha!"
I froze.
"…Okay subconscious. This is too detailed. If this is really a dream, I need to stop bingeing gacha games and start sleeping like a normal human. Realistic Aqua is cursed."
[Author Note: I am stopping the First Person Narration here, because Reader's, I am not writing First person again]
Levi looked at Aqua as he decided to continue this "Dream". "Will do how does the reincarnation work?"
Aqua smirked as she pointed at him. "Simple I pick a Loser soul or they get summoned here and I give them as second chance"
Levi had tick mark as he spoke in his head. "Why did my sister's words from yesterday have to get repeated in my dream, I am the top of my Class!".
Aqua clapped her hands, as from the sky fell down Multiple Papers as Levi Blinked.
Aqua clapped her hands, and from above, sheets of glowing parchment fluttered down like confetti. Levi blinked in disbelief as they piled around him. Each one shimmered with strange letters and glowing diagrams.
"What the hell… is this?" Levi muttered, picking one up. The paper instantly reshaped itself into neat, readable text.
Aqua puffed her chest out proudly. "These are the options for your reincarnation, duh! Weapons, abilities, blessings, talents, everything you need to become a top-tier adventurer! Normally, you'd get one pick, but since you're the 100th soul today…" She raised her voice dramatically and threw up her arms like a game show host. "You get TWO!!"
Confetti popped from nowhere, and a cheap party horn sound echoed in the void.
Levi stared blankly at her. "…You can't be real. There's no way an actual goddess acts like this. Definitely a dream."
Aqua leaned forward, her smug grin widening. "Oh, I'm very real. You're just too dumb to realize you're already dead."
Levi clenched the parchment tighter, veins twitching on his forehead. "If this is my dream, why does it feel like I'm being roasted by a washed-up streamer?"
"HEY!" Aqua yelled, stamping her foot. "Don't compare a goddess of water to some shut-in with a webcam!"
Levi sighed and glanced at the papers again, his mind slowly shifting away from arguing with her. The options listed weren't just generic RPG skills—they were insanely specific. Sword Arts, Magic Specializations, Dragon Bloodlines, even Divine Weapons.
He muttered to himself, "Alright… maybe this dream is worth playing along with."
Levi looked at the scattered papers all around him. He picked one up, flipped it over, set it down. Picked another. Squinted at it. Set it down. On and on it went.
How long did it take?
One hour later…
Aqua's hair was a frizzled mess, her cheeks puffed red with frustration. She finally exploded, jabbing her finger at him like a prosecutor.
"JUST PICK ALREADY!"
Levi smirked calmly, leaning back with his arms crossed. "You said I could take as long as I want. Don't blame me for following the rules, 'goddess.'"
Truth be told, he had already decided long ago. He just enjoyed watching her squirm. Finally, he grabbed one of the papers and held it up.
"This one."
Aqua squinted at the parchment, mouthing the words before her eyes widened.
"Dragon's Blood…?!"
Levi nodded, his expression firm. "Specifically—the Hydro Dragon. Neuvillette."
Aqua tilted her head, confused. "Okay, what the hell is a Neuvillette?"
She snapped her fingers dramatically, and a glowing computer desk appeared in front of her, complete with a monitor and keyboard. She started typing furiously like a bored office worker.
Levi stared at her in disbelief. "Wait—if you had that, why the hell did you make me dig through piles of paper?!"
Aqua didn't look up, still typing. "Shut up! The paper system looks more divine and professional! Nobody respects a goddess who pulls up a search engine in front of the newly dead!"
Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering, "This is definitely a dream. No god worth their title acts like this…"
Aqua spun the monitor around toward him, showing a splash-art image of Neuvillette she had pulled straight off the internet.
"Ohhh, so that's who you meant. Damn, he's hot—no wonder you picked him."
Levi froze, speechless. "…Stop making this weird."
Aqua waved him off and scrolled down the page, her lips moving as she read aloud. "Hydro Dragon… primal authority over water… basically a living god among men…"
Her voice cracked as she slammed both hands on the desk. "HEY! This is broken! You can't just waltz in with dragon blood! That's cheating!"
Levi smirked, crossing his arms. "You said I could pick any power. Don't blame me because you didn't put up a ban list."
Aqua's face turned red, puffing like a kettle about to boil. "Ughhh, this is why I hate smart reincarnators! You're supposed to pick something lame like 'super strength' or 'magic affinity,' not… not… THIS! Dragons are already the most broken race in any world!"
Levi tilted his head innocently. "So… you're saying I made the optimal choice?"
"NO—yes—but SHUT UP!" Aqua yelled, stamping her foot hard enough to rattle the glowing desk. "I'm writing in my notes right now: 'No more dragon perks!'"
She scribbled angrily into a glittery blue notebook labeled 'Divine Reincarnation Records'.
Levi just smirked wider. "And yet… here I am. Dragon's Blood secured."
Aqua pointed at him like she was declaring war. "Fine! But if you break the balance of the new world, don't come crying to me when the Demon King uses you as a chew toy!"
Levi only shrugged. "Dragons don't fear chew toys."
Aqua sighed as she spoke. "Fine now pick your weapon and leave".
Levi though for a bit, he wondered if he should just ask for Neuvillette Signature weapons, and ask for all the stat boost that weapons gives, but then another Weapons cane to mind, one form another one of hsu favorite Character's, be smirked.
"Give the Gun Blade, but not just any, give the one Ciel has from Elsword".
Aqua just blinked as she spoke. "What's an Cield and whats a Elsword"
She once again started to type in the computer, as she found. "Huh, cool weapon".
Aqua tilted her head at the search results. A flashy splash-art of Ciel holding his massive Gunblade filled the screen.
"Ohhh… so it's like a sword, but also a gun? Wow, that's so impractical!"
Levi's eye twitched. "Impractical? It's literally the definition of peak style."
Aqua squinted, scrolling through gameplay clips. "But you have to swing it and shoot it? Why not just pick a sword or a gun? This guy looks like he's compensating for—"
"Don't finish that sentence." Levi cut in with a glare. "Ciel's Gunblade isn't just any hybrid. It's a refined piece of art that amplifies both ranged and melee combat. Plus, it comes with its own stat buffs. It's perfect for me."
Aqua groaned and tossed the monitor aside; it vanished into blue sparkles. "Ugh, whatever. You dragons and your overcompensation. Fine, Gunblade approved!"
A shining circle appeared beside her, and slowly, Ciel's sleek Gunblade materialized out of blue light. It landed with a heavy thunk, the metallic gleam humming faintly with power.
Levi stepped forward, gripping the weapon. The weight was perfect, balanced as if it had been forged just for him. A smirk tugged at his lips.
"…Now this, this feels right."
Aqua rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, enjoy your overdesigned toy, Mr. Dragon. Just don't accidentally shoot yourself in the foot, okay?"
Levi ignored her, giving the Gunblade an experimental spin that sent water-like ripples through the air.
Levi gave the weapon another spin, the blade humming with a faint magical resonance. Even the air seemed to ripple, and Aqua's eyes widened despite herself.
"Wow…" she muttered unconsciously, her gaze glued to the shimmering edge. "That… actually looks really cool…"
Levi arched an eyebrow, smirking. "Jealous, Goddess?"
Aqua immediately flinched, crossing her arms and turning away with a pout. "W-what? No! I-I mean, it's fine, I guess. Flashy junk like that breaks easy anyway!"
But under her breath, barely audible, she mumbled:
"…Man, even I want a weapon like that. All I ever get is this dumb staff…"
Levi chuckled, resting the Gunblade on his shoulder. "Too bad, Aqua. Guess even goddesses can't handle peak style."
"Shut up!" Aqua snapped, her cheeks puffed out like an angry child. "Just hurry up and reincarnate already before I take it back!"
Aqua moved her staff as she spoke. "So you done?"
Levi still thinking this was a dream, he smirked and spoke. "Nope, maybe one more things, A Kiss".
"Nope!" Aqua screamed
As then bellow Levi a Holy light came, as he looked at Aqua. "Defeate the Demom Lord, you baster"
Levi closed his eyes, as he re opened, he blinked as he got up, he looked around, as he felt the fresh air hitting his face, he looker around as he saw greenery of the tree, as he looked at a leaf it looked too grinn, he heard the Noises of the birth, as he stretch.
"Guess I pissed her of enough, weird that I can make my own subconscious get mad at me? I Wonder what that says about me?".
Levi took a deep breath, the earthy scent of soil and grass filling his lungs. It was oddly… crisp. Too crisp. His eyes narrowed as he picked up a fallen twig, turning it between his fingers. The texture was sharper, the weight too distinct.
"…Dreams don't usually have this kind of detail," he muttered, frowning.
A sudden rustle caught his attention. A fat, fluffy bird hopped out of a nearby bush, tilted its head, and chirped.
Levi crouched down, staring it in the eye. "Okay, subconscious, you're really overdoing it with the immersion. What's next? A slime?"
As if the world itself took offense at his words, the ground nearby bubbled. A translucent blob slithered out, wobbling toward him with a wet squelch.
Levi blinked. "…I hate it here already."
He raised the Gunblade, sighed, and muttered, "If this really is a dream, then at least let me style on the tutorial mobs."
Levi lifted his hand, staring at it like it held the secrets of the universe. "Alright… please let this be one hell of a lucid dream."
He hesitated for a second, then slapped himself across the face.
SMACK!
"Gah—!" The sting shot across his cheek, leaving a faint red mark. Levi rubbed at it furiously, his eyes widening. "That… felt way too real."
Before he could process it, his foot shifted backward—
SCHLOP!
The slime under his boot burst like a water balloon, splattering goo all over his trousers.
Levi froze. Slowly, very slowly, he looked down at the greenish gunk dripping from his shoe.
"…Oh. Fuuuuuck."
His breathing quickened as he stumbled back, staring at the dissolving puddle of slime. He slapped himself again, harder this time. Another sting. Another red mark.
"...Nope. Not a dream. Definitely not a dream." He clutched his head. "Goddammit, Aqua! You couldn't even give me a warning tutorial box or something?!"
A faint ding! echoed in his ears. A glowing blue screen popped up in front of him:
[Quest Accepted: Defeat the Demon Lord]
Failure Condition: Permanent Death.
Reward: A Chance to Live.
Levi's face drained of color. "…Oh, she wasn't kidding."
Then, as if on cue, another slime flopped out of the bushes, bouncing happily toward him.
Levi gripped the Gunblade, muttering through gritted teeth: "Alright. Step one: survive the jello."