Once Hizashi departed, Tsunade found herself marooned in an even deeper pool of social awkwardness.
Standing there with absolutely no idea what to say next, she began shooting frantic, pleading SOS signals with her eyes toward Shizune. But Shizune was just as overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events. Left completely paralyzed by the sheer tension of the atmosphere, she chose the path of least resistance: staring blankly ahead and pretending to be utterly oblivious to her mentor's desperate glances.
Tsunade's blood pressure began to spike.
This assistant is completely useless!
Diarmuid, conversely, remained the picture of absolute composure. With a faint smile, he pulled out a chair and seated himself at the table. Seeing this, Tsunade forced a look of casual indifference, sliding into the opposite chair before hoisting her teacup and taking tentative, rhythmic sips to mask her lack of words.
Diarmuid unhurriedly poured a fresh cup for himself. He raised the porcelain, his eyes briefly locking onto Shizune. Feeling the weight of his gaze, Shizune awkwardly shifted her vision to the floor. Taking a slow sip, Diarmuid finally focused his attention squarely back on Tsunade, breaking the silence with an easygoing tone. "So, what brings you to the Land of Rain? You didn't actually come all this way just to demand money from me, did you? Or have you run into some genuine trouble? Come on, let me hear it."
The moment he opened his mouth, the suffocating awkwardness evaporated completely. Tsunade internally breathed a massive sigh of relief, setting her teacup down before adopting her usual boisterous persona. "It's nothing I need your help with. I was simply passing through the territory."
"Is that so?" Diarmuid replied, a playful glint in his eye. "Then I take it you don't want the cash either?"
Without a single shred of hesitation, Tsunade shot back, "I still want the cash!"
As soon as the words left her lips, a sudden hush fell over the table once more. But this time, after just a few beats of silence, both Diarmuid and Tsunade burst into spontaneous laughter, allowing the remaining tension to dissolve into genuine warmth.
Beside them, Shizune was left entirely befuddled. What is wrong with these two? Am I completely blind to the emotional atmosphere here?
"In all seriousness, I really didn't expect you to pull a stunt like that," Diarmuid said, chuckling softly.
"Well, the whole thing was a total misunderstanding anyway. I had no idea I'd run into Hiashi's brother here, let alone cross paths with you," Tsunade explained, waving her hand dismissively. "I literally just walked into this place to have a quiet cup of tea and figure out a strategy to squeeze the money out of you."
"Alright then. Exactly how much do you owe?" Diarmuid asked.
Tsunade hesitated for a brief second, a rare trace of embarrassment painting her features before she mumbled, "It's not that much. Just about fifty or sixty million ryo."
Fifty or sixty million ryo was not an astronomical sum in the grand scheme of international finances. However, when viewed through the narrow lens of a singular, astronomical gambling deficit, it was an incredibly staggering figure.
Yet, remembering Tsunade's legendary reputation across the continent as the "Legendary Sucker," Diarmuid's brief flash of surprise quickly gave way to a sense of absolute inevitability.
"I suppose I shouldn't expect anything less from you," Diarmuid dryly lampooned.
Tsunade, entirely unfazed, went straight to the point. "Per our historic agreement, you owe me a massive favor. Settle this debt for me today, and we are officially square."
"You're being incredibly generous with your assets," Diarmuid said with a knowing grin. "This is a personal covenant from me, Diarmuid. Trading it away for a mere handful of millions is a massive net loss for you."
"Perhaps," Tsunade replied, a trace of ancestral pride swelling in her chest. "But do you honestly believe there's anything left in this world that would require me to call upon your strength?"
She wasn't entirely wrong. Several years had passed since Diarmuid had forced her into that high-stakes transaction for her Spirit Transformation Jutsu. Initially, Tsunade had intended to hoard his promise, saving it for an incredibly complex, insurmountable crisis down the road.
But as the years rolled by, she realized how redundant the notion actually was. She had never encountered a single situation that truly warranted invoking his intervention. She was, after all, an elite powerhouse in her own right, a literal princess of the Land of Fire and the direct, premier descendant of the legendary Senju Clan. In this current era of the shinobi world, there were virtually no obstacles she couldn't personally dismantle.
Except, of course, her staggering gambling tabs. Neither the Senju Clan's remaining estates nor the Daimyo Castle would ever agree to subsidize her addiction at the casinos.
Perhaps in some distant, alternate future where Tsunade actually ascended to become the Fifth Hokage of Konohagakure, she might encounter geopolitical crises that necessitated leveraging Diarmuid's vast influence.
But as things stood today, the very notion of becoming Hokage had never even crossed her mind. She was perfectly content wandering the world as a carefree, debt-ridden nomad.
Furthermore, from Diarmuid's perspective, whether Tsunade would ever assume the mantle of Hokage in this timeline remained entirely up in the air. In the original sequence of events, she only took office because Orochimaru's "Konoha Crush" operation successfully claimed the life of Hiruzen.
The problem was that in this current reality, Orochimaru was effectively aligned with Diarmuid's faction.
Moreover, ever since the Uchiha Clan had been thoroughly purged from the board, there was very little left within Konoha worth contesting, save for the Tailed Beasts. The strategic friction between Diarmuid's forces and Konoha had dropped significantly.
As for the Tailed Beasts themselves, the Nine-Tails was currently split, one half sealed inside Naruto, and the other half locked deep within the belly of the Shinigami. Diarmuid held no personal ties to Naruto, though he harbored a distinct fondness for the bright, sunny kid who served as a rare beacon of genuine warmth in a bleak world.
Thus, his objective from the very beginning was merely to extract the Yin half of the Nine-Tails from the Shinigami's stomach.
When it came to securing entities like the Three-Tails, he felt absolutely zero moral reservations. Engineering the downfall of Danzo didn't weigh on his conscience in the slightest. He was collecting these beasts to advance his own grand architecture, not out of a desire to become the Ten-Tails Jinchuriki, meaning an absolutely flawless, complete set was entirely unnecessary.
With those parameters established, a brutal, apocalyptic war against Konoha was completely off the table. Now that Orochimaru was integrated into Diarmuid's operations, his hands were entirely full with an endless array of high-priority research and development initiatives. It was highly improbable he would waste time orchestrating a complex siege like the Konoha Crush.
Long ago, Diarmuid had often spent hours dissecting Orochimaru's psychological fixation on his former home, trying to decipher the true emotional catalyst behind his canonical betrayal.
But as his personal rapport with Orochimaru grew closer over the years, he stopped overanalyzing the past. It was an exercise in futility. Human nature was inherently fluid; after so many years of focusing on grander horizons, Orochimaru had likely outgrown those petty provincial grievances entirely.
To put it simply, Hiruzen was no longer predestined to meet an untimely demise at the hands of his star pupil. Instead, the aging Third Hokage would most likely live to execute his original succession plan, grooming a carefully selected candidate to inherit the mantle under his own terms.
From that perspective, the chances of Tsunade ever becoming the Fifth Hokage was impossible. Hiruzen was well aware that neither Tsunade nor Jiraiya could be easily swayed to return to the village and chain themselves to an administrative desk. If they had been viable options, the mantle of the Fourth Hokage would have never fallen onto the shoulders of Minato in the first place.
According to Diarmuid's baseline projections, assuming Hiruzen survived the coming years, the position of Fifth Hokage would almost certainly debut under Kakashi.
Therefore, for the Tsunade of this era, there was truly no personal crisis on the horizon that she couldn't resolve through her own means, nothing that would ever force her to rely on his strength.
Simultaneously, over the past few years, she had increasingly come to realize that holding onto a nebulous favor from Diarmuid that she would likely never cash in was functionally useless. It made far more sense to liquidate it immediately for a massive financial payout.
"You make a valid point," Diarmuid conceded with a soft laugh. "Given your pedigree and sheer capability, so long as you don't run into a monster like me, you aren't going to encounter any real trouble. And fortunately for the rest of the world, individuals of my caliber are exceedingly rare."
The remark instantly jogged Tsunade's memory regarding their chaotic first encounter. She shot him a deeply irritated glare. "I'm glad you're at least self-aware!"
"Let's call it one hundred million ryo," Diarmuid proposed after a moment's calculation. "And with that, our accounts are permanently cleared."
Tsunade's eyes flashed with a sudden, radiant gleam. "Deal! One hundred million is perfect!"
"However..." Diarmuid abruptly pivoted, his voice carrying an authoritative weight. "You possess absolutely zero financial discipline. If I hand you a million ryo, you'll manage to lose it all within a single calendar day. Give you ten million or a hundred million, and the outcome remains exactly the same. Therefore, I will advance you fifty million right now to liquidate your current debts. The remaining fifty million will stay registered under my personal custody. Whenever you find yourself in an absolute financial emergency, you can simply come find me and request the balance."
"..."
Tsunade blinked, her initial excitement instantly curdling into pure annoyance. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Diarmuid began, a slow, predatory grin spreading across his face as he locked his gaze directly onto hers, his voice completely smooth and unbothered, "I am intentionally exploiting this arrangement to ensure I have guaranteed opportunities to see you again in the future."
Tsunade had been completely locked and loaded to launch into a furious tirade, ready to fiercely debate the terms of her payout. But the moment those words resonated through the air, a deep crimson flush exploded across her cheeks, rendering her completely speechless and frozen.
To have this man state his romantic intentions so blatantly, without a single shred of hesitation or standard decorum, left her entire emotional defense system utterly paralyzed.
Beside them, Shizune stared at Diarmuid with an expression of pure, unadulterated awe. Are you serious? You can actually do that?!
In all honesty, this was only the second time Tsunade and Diarmuid had ever interacted in person, and their initial introduction had been anything but pleasant. To suggest that Tsunade harbored some sort of profound, deep-seated romantic affection for him at this stage would be an absolute fabrication. She truly didn't.
Yet, from the very moment they first crossed paths, Diarmuid had never once bothered to camouflage his intense attraction to her. Every single interaction was punctuated by these sudden, heart-stopping declarations that left her emotional equilibrium completely upended.
In an odd way, this aggressive, direct approach, completely bypassing the standard, tedious phases of getting to know someone, skipping past the formal boundaries of friendship and platonic familiarity, had successfully forced its way into the fortress of Tsunade's heart, sending a genuine ripple through her emotional core.
"You... you..." Tsunade stammered, her voice losing all of its usual commanding authority as she struggled to string a coherent sentence together. "Even if you say something like that... I... Look, the point is, I haven't given any thought to those kinds of matters. Besides, it's not like we actually know each other that well, right?"
Diarmuid merely smiled, taking a calm, measured sip of his tea before asking softly, "Thought to what kinds of matters?"
Tsunade froze. How was she supposed to answer that?
Was she supposed to openly articulate that she hadn't considered entering a romantic relationship? How could she possibly force those words out loud?
This absolute bastard... He knows exactly what I mean, yet he's intentionally backing me into a corner. Where is his sense of chivalry?!
However, Tsunade was still the legendary Sannin. After a brief wave of intense embarrassment and irritation, she successfully reigned in her chaotic emotions, forcing her internal state to settle back into absolute equilibrium.
Taking a slow, deliberate sip of her tea, she leveled her gaze directly into Diarmuid's eyes, her vision sharp and entirely unwavering. "Diarmuid, if you genuinely harbor some sort of romantic ideal or expectation toward me, then I am truly sorry to disappoint you. I simply do not contemplate those things. A long time ago, I made a definitive choice: I will not invest an ounce of my life into romance or emotional attachments ever again. So, do yourself a favor and stop wasting your time on me."
Tsunade was not the type of woman to play games or lead someone on. To have a man of immense power and striking looks openly pursue her was admittedly a massive boost to her pride; she would have to be an anomaly not to feel a slight twinge of happiness from it.
But despite that fleeting sense of gratification, she refused to utilize ambiguous signals to keep Diarmuid dangling on a string. Still less would she ever consider weaponizing his affection to extract political or material concessions from his empire.
Thus, after allowing herself that brief, internal moment of private satisfaction, she delivered a completely cold, calculated rejection, laying her boundaries bare with absolute clarity.
She wanted him to stop wasting his time.
Diarmuid listened intently, nodding along to her explanation before offering a relaxed shrug. "I never said my goal was to fundamentally alter your personal philosophy. Like I've stated before, I deeply admire you, and I am genuinely attracted to you. That is my personal stance, and it was never conditional on receiving a mutual response from your end. So, even if you reject me today, I still fully intend to utilize this framework to keep trying. As for what you call a waste of time... well, the road ahead of us is long. I have an entire lifetime left to burn, so you really don't need to concern yourself with trying to talk me out of it. Hahaha."
Tsunade had operating under the assumption that a direct, unambiguous refusal would force Diarmuid to reassess his approach. Yet, hearing him lay out his absolute, unwavering commitment with such nonchalant certainty caused an unfamiliar, deeply buried chord to strike within her heart once more.
Ultimately, she simply rolled her eyes, shooting him a thoroughly exasperated glare. "I've said my piece. You are completely beyond the reach of human reason. Do whatever the hell you want!"
Diarmuid chuckled softly, shifting his attention away from the flustered Sannin to look directly at her assistant. "Shizune, I'll have the initial fifty million ryo transferred into your custody shortly. I'm trusting you to help me take good care of Tsunade."
"Ah! Yes! Right away, I understand!" Shizune blurted out instinctively, bowing her head in compliance.
The moment the words left her mouth, however, she instantly realized how terrible it sounded. The phrasing made it seem as though she had been completely bought and paid for by Diarmuid's treasury. What did he mean by "help me take good care of Tsunade"?!
Panicking internally, Shizune stole a frantic glance at her mentor, only to find that Tsunade hadn't even registered the subtle implication of the dialogue. She was currently far too occupied aggressively downing her tea, her features still locked in a deep, brooding pout.
———————
Want to read ahead of schedule? Head over here ——— pa-tre-on.c-om/AlexandrusTL [remove the hyphen for normal access]