"Diarmuid-sama, you've arrived," Hizashi said, his tone entirely devoid of surprise. It was plain to see he had been expecting Diarmuid all along.
Tsunade, on the other hand, was left completely dumbfounded.
She had honestly just strolled into Amegakure, picked a bustling tea house at random, and sat down to have a drink and a bite to eat. It was meant to be a quiet moment to clear her head and decide whether she even wanted to see that bastard Diarmuid.
She had absolutely not coordinated a rendezvous with him here.
Furthermore, she was a woman who possessed a remarkably grand, larger-than-life personality, and people with that kind of pride naturally guard their public image fiercely. While conversing with Hizashi just moments ago, she had let her pride get the better of her. Spurred on by a sudden whim to save face, she had deliberately painted a picture suggesting, "Oh, Diarmuid and I are incredibly close."
The problem was that they weren't close at all. She had never anticipated crossing paths with him here, which now left her in an exceptionally awkward position.
Fortunately, Diarmuid merely offered a brief nod of greeting before locking eyes with Hizashi, and the two immediately fell into rapid conversation. Tsunade finally caught onto the play: as it turned out, Hizashi and Diarmuid had pre-arranged to meet at this exact location.
"Diarmuid-sama, this is a formal correspondence from my elder brother," Hizashi said smoothly, promptly presenting a sealed letter to Diarmuid.
Diarmuid accepted it, reached into his robes to retrieve a corresponding parchment, and slid it across the table. "I seem to trouble you with these deliveries every single time, Hizashi. How are things? Has this season's harvest been bountiful for your operations?"
Though Diarmuid and Hiashi did not see each other in person frequently, they maintained an unbroken, highly active correspondence. Both genuine friends viewed each other with deep mutual respect, their relationship entirely insulated from political leverage or transactional motives.
These regular dispatches were almost exclusively ferried back and forth by the Hyuga Clan's merchant caravans.
Now that Diarmuid was the absolute authority within the Land of Rain, and the Hyuga Clan was the household of his close friend, it was only natural for him to extend a helping hand. The Land of Rain boasted an exceptional commercial and geographical position, and ever since the borders were officially opened, the Hyuga trading caravans had expanded dramatically under Diarmuid's direct patronage.
"It is no trouble at all," Hizashi replied with a warm smile. "I am currently managing our clan's mercantile logistics anyway, and our revenue streams within the Land of Rain have been flourishing consistently. We owe much of that success to your continuous oversight, Diarmuid-sama. Ensuring these letters reach their destination is simply a baseline duty."
Though he and Diarmuid were quite familiar with one another, they didn't share a particularly deep personal bond.
Their schedule today was exceptionally tight. While en route, they had encountered localized flooding within the Land of Rain, which had bottlenecked the primary thoroughfares for about three days. Such weather anomalies were perfectly standard for this country given its near-constant rainfall, but the delay forced them to accelerate their pace. They needed to transport their current inventory to the Land of Earth as fast as possible to avoid breaching their contractual delivery windows.
Failing to meet the deadline would incur substantial financial penalties. While the wealthy Hyuga Clan hardly cared about the money, they prioritized their international commercial credibility above all else.
"Is the schedule truly that demanding this time? You won't even step away to visit my estate for a brief rest?" Diarmuid pressed.
Precisely because of this logistical urgency, Hizashi had bypassed a formal visit to Diarmuid's residence, electing instead to arrange this brief rendezvous at a commercial checkpoint. Had they gone to Diarmuid's home, protocol would have practically demanded a full day's stay, or at the very least, a formal banquet. That would have compromised their entire timeline.
Meeting here was far more efficient. They could share a cup of tea, handle their administrative exchanges, and depart the moment the caravan finished loading and unloading its freight.
"We are indeed racing against the clock," Hizashi said with a genial chuckle. "Next time. I promise we will make time during our next circuit."
Diarmuid nodded, declining to press the matter further; his inquiry had merely been a gesture of standard courtesy.
With that settled, he walked alongside Hizashi back toward the booth where Tsunade was seated.
Tsunade was currently experiencing a profound wave of social anxiety. She rose to her feet somewhat uncomfortably, intending to quietly establish a baseline with Diarmuid before he could inadvertently say something that would shatter her cover. If he let it slip that they were practically strangers, her dignity would be completely obliterated all the way back to Konoha.
Yet, the moment she stood up, Diarmuid stepped forward with immense, unbridled enthusiasm. Dispensing with any sense of standard boundary or protocol, he threw his arms wide, forcefully pulled Tsunade into a massive embrace, and began boisterously slamming his heavy palm against her upper back. "Hahaha! Tsunade! It's been years, hasn't it? Why didn't you send word ahead to let me know you were coming to my territory?"
Holy hell. His actions perfectly projected the image of two people who shared an incredibly deep, historic bond.
Under any other circumstances, Tsunade would have likely delivered a straight right hook to blast Diarmuid straight through the storefront wall. But right now, Hizashi was standing directly behind him, wearing a look that silently screamed, "Ah, so Tsunade-sama truly does possess an extraordinary relationship with Diarmuid-sama." As Hizashi nodded with a warm, knowing smile, Tsunade found herself utterly trapped by the very bravado she had displayed moments prior. She simply couldn't bring herself to say, "Actually, I barely know this guy."
Feeling herself pinned firmly against Diarmuid's chest, with the sheer pressure compressing her collarbone, Tsunade couldn't help but suspect that this bastard was intentionally capitalizing on the situation to cop a feel.
The more she dwelled on the thought, the more her internal fury began to red-line. Yet, forcing her features into a mask of pure, delighted surprise, she returned the embrace with equal fervor, mirroring his exact posture.
Her massive hands came down against Diarmuid's back with a series of resounding thud-thud-thuds.
Tsunade possessed absolute Monster Strength!
Those few casual slaps nearly caused Diarmuid to spit blood on the spot. Yet, true to his utterly shameless nature, he refused to waste such a golden opportunity to enjoy the proximity. Steeling his posture against her staggering physical power, he stubbornly pushed through the impact and held onto the embrace for a prolonged moment.
He was absolutely doing it on purpose. In truth, Diarmuid had arrived outside the storefront several minutes ago.
Just as he was preparing to step through the threshold, he had overheard Hizashi addressing Tsunade by name, prompting him to halt his advance and observe her from the exterior.
Ordinarily, with his Rain Tiger at Will Jutsu active, not a single variable within Amegakure could escape his sensory awareness. However, as the village opened its borders and commercial trade began to flourish, he had long since ceased monitoring the civilian sectors on a granular level. So long as individuals refrained from trespassing into designated restricted zones, they wouldn't trigger his sensory arrays.
Furthermore, over the past few years, Diarmuid's consciousness had spent the vast majority of its operational cycles drifting through the vast expanses of the Pure Land. Consequently, his utilization of the Rain Tiger at Will Jutsu had become sporadic at best.
Thus, it was entirely natural that he had failed to register Tsunade's arrival within Amegakure. By that same token, he was completely oblivious to the fact that Deidara was currently wandering around the village as well.
After waiting at the entrance long enough to parse the context of Tsunade and Hizashi's dialogue, Diarmuid had timed his entry perfectly to capitalize on her predicament. It was a masterclass in pure, unadulterated shamelessness.
Beside them, Shizune stood completely frozen, watching the two forcefully pummel each other's backs under the guise of an affectionate, fraternal embrace.
Am I supposed to be here right now? Or should I go find a place to hide under the caravan?
What exactly was Tsunade-sama rambling about just a few minutes ago?
How did the dynamic transition into... whatever this is, in the blink of an eye?
Am I the only sane person left in this room?
The two remained locked in their vice-like embrace for a solid minute or two before Diarmuid's physical frame reached its structural limit, prompting him to finally release his grip.
Tsunade, naturally having no desire to prolong the contact, seamlessly stepped back as well, maintaining a perfectly natural and unaffected composure as she put some distance between them.
The moment Diarmuid turned his head, Hizashi's eyes widened in sheer shock. "My lord... why are you coughing up blood?"
It was a valid question. Tsunade's physical strikes were simply too devastating. In order to maximize the tactile contact of the embrace, Diarmuid had deliberately refrained from reinforcing his body with chakra, meaning he had spent over a minute absorbing her raw strikes unprotected. His internal organs felt as though they had been subjected to a sustained bombardment, and a thin trickle of crimson was now visibly seeping from the corner of his lips.
Fortunately, his baseline physical constitution was remarkably resilient, rendering this level of trauma functionally negligible.
Diarmuid casually wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, maintaining an incredibly nonchalant expression as he laughed it off. "Ahem... ah, it's nothing. My diet has been exceptionally rich in nutrients lately, leaving me with far too much internal heat. Hahaha! No issue at all, perfectly fine."
Tsunade had initially been quite irritated, but watching this legendary powerhouse stubbornly maintain his suave act while clearly suffering made her find the situation slightly amusing. The hot temper she had accumulated began to dissipate substantially.
Strangely enough, seeing him resort to such absurd, almost juvenile antics just to secure a brief moment of proximity felt oddly endearing.
When paired with Diarmuid's striking looks, immense raw power, and transcendent international status, such an otherwise uncouth maneuver somehow managed to elevate Tsunade's internal impression of him.
Had a common, unexceptional shinobi attempted a stunt like that, she would have likely pulverized him into paste without a second thought.
Such was the nature of double standards.
"What brought about this sudden visit to my domain?" Diarmuid inquired with a warm grin.
In all honesty, Tsunade's unannounced arrival within his borders was something he genuinely had not anticipated. He was well aware that while he frequently bragged to the shinobi of Konoha about his supposed deep friendship with the legendary Sannin, their actual relationship was nowhere near that level of intimacy.
Tsunade's emotional equilibrium was a bit jarred, and the fact that Diarmuid had just compromised her boundaries left her feeling uniquely uninhibited. The hesitation and doubts that had plagued her earlier vanished, replaced by an attitude of complete indifference.
"I came to collect a debt," Tsunade declared, tilting her chin up with a distinctly haughty, tsundere flair. "I've accumulated a massive mountain of debt across the continent, and you're going to settle them for me."
Diarmuid's jaw dropped in absolute astonishment. Beside him, Hizashi was equally staggered, his gaze darting back and forth between Diarmuid and Tsunade with an expression that suggested he had just unlocked a profound, forbidden secret of the cosmos.
Diarmuid was stunned that Tsunade had traveled all this way over something so incredibly trivial. He distinctly recalled the binding conditions and promises he had agreed to back when he had forced the exchange for her Spirit Transformation Jutsu.
But I am an international figure of absolute renown! You're cashing in a premium favor from me just to clear a gambling tab?!
Hizashi's shock, meanwhile, stemmed from a completely different deduction. The sheer, unyielding sense of entitlement with which Tsunade demanded financial liquidation from Diarmuid crossed well beyond the boundaries of standard platonic friendship.
It carried the undeniable hallmark of an... unpure, romantic entanglement.
As a man who was both married and a father, Hizashi possessed more than enough life experience to accurately read between the lines.
In truth, the moment the words left her mouth, Tsunade realized her phrasing was dangerously ambiguous. She should have provided immediate context, specifically referencing the explicit terms of their historical trade agreement. Furthermore, she caught the distinct shift in Hizashi's facial expression.
But before she could re-engage her cognitive faculties to restructure her explanation and clarify the situation, the astonishment on Diarmuid's face melted into a deeply tender, gentle smile. He offered her a soft nod and murmured, "Very well. I will settle every last one for you."
The sudden change in his demeanor caused a visible flush to creep up Tsunade's neck, leaving her momentarily flustered and at a complete loss for words.
Standing to the side, Hizashi felt his theories instantly 'validated'. Displaying impeccable situational awareness, he immediately cleared his throat and bowed. "Ahem... well then, Tsunade-sama, Diarmuid-sama, my caravan's departure window has officially arrived. I shall take my leave now."
Time to move. I am absolutely not staying here to play third wheel to you two.
———————
Want to read ahead of schedule? Head over here ——— pa-tre-on.c-om/AlexandrusTL [remove the hyphen for normal access]