01. "LOST AT SEA"
I haven't written in a long damn time, it's always seems there's something waiting for me on the other side of this pen, the truth.
For so long I've been running away from my own self, distracting myself with things that don't last long enough to be special, flings and hook ups but now it seems like everything I'm running from is catching up to me.
I've had regrets, shame and resentment about who I used to be, but sometimes I look at what I've become and I can't think of anything good that I've done. Always been about sex, pleasure and flings, I'm always quick to run away from love and resistant to emotions, that is not the kind of life I wanna life anymore.
It seems like after my first love, I could never be myself again and now I'm just lost at sea.
02. "TENTH MAY"
I remember it just like yesterday, what she was wearing, how her skin smelled and how her hair was. We were both looking forward to lunchtime, the excitement and nerves on our way there was such a beautiful blend of emotions, I still remember the 10th of May, the first time we made love.
Nothing was ever the same after our first time, the love felt stronger, even the bond felt more sacred and I still remember how she rested her head on my chest after we got done. A month later after, I told her that I love her for the first time and she's the only one that I've said those words to.
She was all mine and I was blessed to have her, it's unfortunate that I've only experienced that kind of love, intimacy and relationship with her. Man, I loved her so loud and I was proud to have her in my life, she's still my baby, nobody's still replaced her.
Tenth May, 2023.