The Seireitei felt different after things had calmed down. It wasn't exactly peaceful, no… the Soul Society would never be 'peaceful'. Not when it was technically the afterlife where you could still die to some schmuck with a sword.
Mitsuri sat beside me on the high railing overlooking the First Division courtyard, her thigh high clad legs swinging back and forth as we watched the proceedings below us. She was warm against my side, her softness and mere presence staving off the boredom I was beginning to feel once again.
Below, the Gotei 13 shuffled through what felt like hours of post-crisis administration. Captains, lieutenants, and various attendants worked through the aftermath of the hectic week the Soul Society had. Aizen's failed betrayal, the supposed 'invasion', Rukia's farce of a trail, my actions against the political branch.
It was kind of cute how seriously everyone was taking things. Kinda reminded me of how in Naruto that the Hokage, the literal dictator of a village, somehow still had to listen to other people in matters of how to run the village.
Honestly it made sense though, some order was necessary to keep things running smoothly, even if I still thought that Yamamoto would have been better off just running the whole realm like a military state.
'If this was my homeworld, Kagaya would have just thanked everyone for their hard work and offered tea before fucking off to go spend time with his family.'
Mitsuri nudged me lightly, pulling me from my thoughts. "Isn't it strange how calm everything is after everything that's happened?"
"A little, it makes sense though. Even if they're not really gods, they are still 'shinigami' and they deal with this sort of thing daily." I replied, resting my arm over her shoulders and pulling her close.
She giggled, "That's not what I meant."
"I know." I kissed the top of her head, "I just wanted to sound smart. Besides, it's not like we're staying for much longer."
"I wonder how the kids are doing?" She hummed.
"I bet Ai and Akira have taken over the camp already."
"That poor Chiron…" Mitsuri laughed softly, "maybe we should get him a gift."
"Nah, taking care of our adorable children is a gift enough." I chuckled.
We sat in comfortable silence for a moment, watching the figures below us move like a shoal of brightly dressed fish. Byakuya was talking to Rukia, Toshiro was trying to keep Rangiku from sneaking off with Kyoraku for a drink. Ukitaki looked ready to cover for both of them like the saint he was.
Soi Fon was glaring daggers Yoruichi from across the courtyard even though the dark skinned woman wasn't even looking at her. Urahara was having a conversation with Yamamoto, and Unohana… Unohana was staring right at me.
I felt a shiver down my spine and slowly turned to Mitsuri who was smiling at me. I returned her smile as she put a hand on my lap.
"Darling…" she enunciated every syllable, "Captain Unohana has been staring at you this whole time, what did you do?"
"Uhh… I don't know?" I laughed nervously, "honest, I have no clue what I did."
Mitsuri squeezed my leg, "Ara… you better hope so."
"I swear Love, I don't know if I even did anything."
"Mmm, just checking…" Mitsuri patted my leg, "do you think they'll be okay?"
I blinked at the sudden 180° shift in topic, "Sure they will be. Dysfunctional, emotionally constipated, wildly overdramatic. But that's their baseline."
"What about Aizen-san?"
"As far as I know, still tied up like discounted rope-bunny decor. Didn't even put up much of a struggle when they tossed him into prison I heard."
She whacked my shoulder, "Stop calling him that!"
"But he is!" I defended myself, "I think I might have accidentally given him a sexual awakening."
She hid her face in my sleeve to muffle her laughter.
Honestly I missed this. Her. The softness that grounded me. After the years that passed, fighting demons and curses, the politics, the divine revelations. Being here next to her was nostalgic to an almost tearful degree.
Eventually the captains below gathered and were dismissed. Yamamoto stood alone by the far side of the courtyard.
'Time to go.'
I teleported Mitsuri and I down to the courtyard to meet him.
The moment we approached, the remaining captains straightened as if they had remembered posture was a thing. They still didn't know whether I should be saluted or avoided like an active volcano, it was beautiful.
Though to be fair, I have been told that I radiated an aura that screamed 'potentially ruined afternoon' by a random shinigami.
Whatever that meant.
Yamamoto regarded us with the calm, weary gravity of someone who had spent a thousand years corralling souls with magic flinging swords.
"Satoru-dono," his voice carried a certain weight even at rest, "our gratitude is immeasurable. Your assistance was… beyond what was anticipated."
I put a hand over my hear, a shit eating grin threatening to break out on my face. "Commander-ossan is being sentimental. Should I worry? Are you having a stroke?"
Mitsuri pinched my side and whispered, "Behave!"
"No promises." I whispered back.
Yamamoto ignored me with the kind of discipline that only centuries of dealing with Kyoraku could teach. "The whole of Soul Society owes you a debt of gratitude," he continued. "Though I suspect that you will refuse any form of formal appointment."
"Correct," I said cheerfully, "I'm quite happy doing what I do, I don't need anything holding me down to one spot."
Mitsuri stepped forward, "Thank you for the hospitality everyone has shown us during our stay here, but we really must be going. We have four kids that inherited their fathers penchant for chaos."
I nodded sagely, "Ai has been left unsupervised for…" I pretended to check my empty wrist for a watch, "way too long. By now, she probably either overthrew a pantheon or invented a new form of jujutsu."
One of the seated officers filing away paperwork choked on their breath.
Yamamoto cleared his throat. "Very well, there is only one more matter left to attend to."
'Right, Urahara and Yoruichi…'
The two approached as if summoned, they both had matching expressions. Urahara's was hidden behind his folding fan.
Yamamoto addressed them, "Kisuke Urahara, Yoruichi Shihoin. With all charges against your name cleared, I personally invite you to reclaim your former positions."
Soi Fon didn't seem bothered that she'd be essentially demoted in favour of Yoruichi. Then again the girl was hopelessly in love with her former captain.
Yoruichi just smiled.
Urahara replied first, bowing his head politely. "Head Captain, it's an honour… but I will have to refuse. I feel that I may be more useful in the world of the living as a sort of watchman. Then there's the paperwork… well, I still hate doing that."
Yamamoto looked like he had expected that exact answer. He turned to Yoruichi for her answer.
Yoruichi grinned, "I'll pass too… but I will be staying nearby. I'll help train new recruits and someone has to keep Yushiro in line. Also…" she turned to Soi Fon, whose face immediately flushed. "I'll be visiting quite often."
I could practically see Soi Fon's soul momentarily transcend the physical world.
Good for her.
Yamamoto nodded, "Your choices are acceptable."
Then Urahara glanced at me, probably to bring up the Vizored. "Satoru… there's some m—
"I'll leave that to you, you're better cut out to be a liaison than I am." I cut him off.
He sighed then nodded, "Ah, my workload increases… but fine. I guess I shouldn't be surprised you know about that too."
[Scene Break]
As Yamamoto and the others escorted Mitsuri and I to the Senkaimon the air in front of us rippled. Everyone spare Mitsuri and I reached for their Zanpakuto. Yamamoto just slightly opened his eyes.
In a flash of light, Zero Division arrived. The five eccentrically dressed guards bowed briefly to me.
I waved at them lazily. "Yo… endgame bosses. What brings you to this place?"
Oetsu pointed a finger, "Hey! I'll have you know, I'm the—
"Yeah yeah, 'God of the Sword', creator of Zanpakuto, I saw your intro cutscene. You good? Need a hug? Maybe a medal?"
His jaw dropped like he was about to give himself an aneurysm.
Senjumaru sighed in a tone that conveyed a millennia of mutual exhaustion. "I don't know how you're the son of Lady Izanami."
"Senjumaru right?" I asked the honestly beautiful lady with six golden arms, "hey… did you know 'maru' technically means 'poop'. So your name is technically Thousand Hand Shit…"
I grinned as a vein popped on her temple. Mitsuri elbowed my side but failed to hide the smile in her eyes.
"You really are insufferable." Senjumaru sighed.
"Got me there." I admitted.
Ichibe stepped forward, "Satoru-sama, before you depart, we come with words. Not warnings nor threats, but acknowledgment."
"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow, while slightly tilting my head. "Come to admit that I'm dastardly handsome in two realms?"
Mitsuri coughed to hide a laugh.
Ichibe continued with the patience of a monk who had seen too much. "A storm approaches. Not now, not tomorrow, but soon. Shadows of old bloodlines stir. A king will rise who calls himself…"
"… the Mustachio doofus." I snapped my fingers. Yhwach, King Quincy. Guy who named himself after a Judeo Christian deity but then styled his army like a Neo-Nazi… don't worry, I know about him too."
All five of them stared at me.
"You… know?"
"I know everything… sort of… mostly because I'm really good at making it up as I go along, and 60% of the time, it works everytime."
"What? That doesn't make any sense."
Ichibe continued to stare. Tenjiro spoke up, "You intend… to fight him?"
"Yeah, when he pops up like I know he will give me a call. I'll peel his scruffy moustache off his face like a sticker and give him a good old Jujutsu Kaisen jumping."
Senjumaru opened her mouth. Closed it. "A… what?"
"You'll know when you see it. Maybe I'll bring my kids, make it a family activity."
They didn't get it, but they understood enough to back off and bow slightly, partially due to confusion, partially due to respect, and Oetsu because he wanted to look dramatic.
Then they vanished.
Yamamoto watched them go with a mixture of relief and dread. "They acknowledged you…" he murmured.
"Should I start heading out autographs?"
"Please do not."
Fair enough.
[Scene Break]
Ichigo and his friends were already waiting by the Senkaimon when we finally arrived. Rukia approached Ichigo and the two shared a quiet conversation while Byakuya and Renji waited from a respectable distance.
Orihime sprinted past everyone and wrapped Mitsuri in a hug so enthusiastically that Mitsuri let out a surprised squeak. The two had bonded harder than I expected… then again, both of them were cinnamon rolls so it was not surprising.
Uryu adjusted his glasses like a typical anime character. I could tell he was still embarrassed at being thoroughly trounced by me while I was wearing a wig.
Chad gave me a 'bro nod'.
Ichigo and Rukia eventually came over to me. He scratched his cheek. "Nothing went as planned. But is it really over?"
"For now," I said. "Go home kid, train, go to school, live your life. Don't rush into things like you normally do. I'll drop by to visit sometime… probably, maybe. If I feel like bullying you for fun."
"Please don't." He muttered.
I chuckled and clapped his shoulder as Mitsuri rejoined me with Orihime trailing behind her.
Rukia bowed low before me. "Satoru-sama, thank you… truly."
"Don't worry about it." I replied while ruffling her hair.
She swatted at my hand but still smiled. Byakuya eyed me cautiously. "Though your methods were… unconventional, you saved my sister. I thank you as well."
"I'll take that as a compliment." I grinned at the stoic faced captain.
"It wasn't."
"Still taking it."
After a few more goodbyes and promises to visit, only Yamamoto remained. Mitsuri and I stood at the gate and glanced back at him.
"Satoru-dono."
"Yeah old man?"
"Your presence was both disruptive and indispensable," he said frankly, "had you not intervened that day, I fear that the Seireitei may have collapsed from within."
"I was in the area, good thing I was bored enough to get involved."
He exhaled through his nose, a tiny smirk pulling at his beard. "If the Seireitei ever needs you again…"
"Don't worry 'bout it gramps, I'm always looking for something fun to do, just send me a message or a butterfly, whatever it is you guys do to communicate. I'll come and chase away the scary monsters for you."
Yamamoto paused, then offered me a respectful bow.
I straightened, then bowed back, matching him without hesitation. He had earned that much from me.
"Take care of your world Satoru-dono."
"I will, and you take care of yours."
[Scene Break]
The Senkaimon opened again as the guard activated it. Mitsuri entwined our fingers together and squeezed my hand.
"You ready?" I asked her.
"With you," she said, smiling. "Always."
We stepped through.
The world shifted instantly. The air changed. Pine trees and grass. Warm sunlight bathed Misturi and I.
We were back…
Just in time for all hell to break loose.
"MONSTERS HAVE BREACHED THE NORTHERN BORDER! CAMPERS TO DEFENSIVE POSITIONS!"
I blinked, then turned to Mitsuri who also blinked.
A roar exploded across the forest clearing as a cyclops barrels towards a line of campers.
Hellhounds, dracaenae, a hydra in the distance, and what looked like one very angry fury screaming about overdue soul quotas.
I sighed. Loudly.
"Well," I said, cracking my knuckles as I handed Mitsuri her sword from my storage space. "Guess family time starts with murdering some monsters again."
Mitsuri's eyes sparkled, "It's like Okinawa all over again."
I kissed her forehead, we looked at each other affectionately. Then we sprinted into the chaos together. Two parents touched by divine grace plunging straight into a monster army. Not a shred of worry between us.
Because this was our life.
Chaotic. Dangerous.
And I wouldn't change it for the world.