"I'll go with Grandfather," I declared.
Shock spread across everyone's faces, especially mine. I was not used to the sound of a child's voice, nor did I think it through before speaking.
Dry cold air hit the back of my throat, making me cough.
"Mei mei." My cousin rushed and helped me to the empty seat on the left of my grandfather. My maternal uncle sat to his right silent, their eyes matched our movements as I settled into the chair. A sip of warm tea soothed the dryness in my throat.
"Yue'er, the adults are talking," my uncle said with thin annoyance before smoothing it over with a coo. "Child, you don't understand—this is for your own good." He sat with my aunt across from my maternal family.
"Yue'er, we only want what's best for you," my aunt added in that soft, motherly tone I'd only ever heard her use on her own children.
Do I respond? Their reasons are valid, how could I refute it?
"We're speaking of her own future. The girl has a voice—let her use it." My maternal uncle's words cut through, direct and sharp.
Everyone directed their eyes to me.
"I just…I want to stay with Grandfather. Being with him feels like being with Mother again."
"And us? You don't want to feel close to your father? Do you intend to make us stran-"
"Are you trying to guilt trip her?" My cousin spoke. The room felt colder.
"No," Uncle defended, "Yue'er, you're a girl. We also can't risk you tarnishing our family name in case something happens. We may not be nobles, but the Lu Family are of high class."
"Lord Lu, to consistently suggest we'd fail to guard Jia Yue is a genuine insult to the Qi name."
Uncle released a sinister laugh, "Qi Yuan, your imprudence to your elders this entire time is enough for me to understand Jia Yue would-"
--
"Uncle, you said you would transfer the money to me. My father left it behind for me." I was on my knees the day after the small, private wedding. I was begging as I remembered my aunt's teaching: a woman's value in the family can be determined by the dowry she brings to her new family.
"I know, but our family needs it right now. You can't bear to see our home in shambles, right? You husband would not let you starve; you have a roof over your head now. This is the least you could do for us after eating our food."
--
"I will relinquish my family name." The words slid out smoothly.
"LU JIA YUE! Do you think you can walk away from the Lu family as if it were nothing? Everything you wear, everything you eat, comes from us!"
"Then we'll pay you back double," my grandfather spoke for the first time.
Gratitude filled my heart, but I couldn't let him do that. The moment I stepped into this room, my choice had already been made, whether I had given it much thought or not. But I saw it clearly now: the Lu family had always controlled me for their own benefit. Uncle hadn't taken me in out of care for his orphaned niece. Keeping me gave them access to the money my father left behind. Marrying me off to the richest man willing to take me gave them my bridal price. In the end, it all came down to money.
"My inheritance, I will give it to Uncle."
"Ho-how do you know about that?"
Since it was money he wanted, then he can have it. It was the price I'm willing to pay if it meant I'm cut free from them.
I was sure Father would forgive me for giving his gift away. It would've fallen into his brother's hands anyways.
"Father had long spoken of the world he travelled. I'm sure he wouldn't be upset if I could protect the Lu family name while following his footsteps." I stood up and kowtowed towards my uncle and aunt. I needed to leave this household as amicable as I could. "Jia Yue is grateful Uncle and Aunt cares for me. Please allow me to pay back my gratitude."
Uncle's hand slapped the table beside him, "You-Fine! Leave! Don't blame this uncle for not trying to protect you."
My chest pounded, ached with hurt. He and Lu Zhi played a hand in my demise, but for many years, I still cared for him as a father figure. Among the hurt where he used me for his own gain were memories of when he brought my favorite cakes.
I felt confused. Every event in my life that led to my end was a domino effect, one action causing another, I know that. I know who I should fear, but I felt anger. But at who? The world? Uncle? Lu Zhi?
At myself.
All my life, I had bent to the wills of others, reacting to the paths they paved for me. Now… I don't know how I returned to being ten, but I was starting there. I chose to live as Qi Jia Yue with Grandfather. I reclaimed the Qi name on my own accord.
This time, I will choose my own path and bear the weight of my own choices.