Then Yuan looked at me and said while looking into my eyes, "Finally."
I got shy when he said it and looked somewhere else to hide my shyness from him.
Then he exhaled very dramatically and said, "You know what? I love it, I really love it when you get shy and blush like a red cherry tomato whenever I look at you or say something to you. But stop hiding your shyness from me. Don't you think that I deserve to see your shyness?" he said while turning my face towards him so that I could look at him.
And then the moment I saw his charming and sparkling eyes on me, I got so shy that I hid my face with both of my hands and said, "Yuan please."
He chuckled and said, "Okay fine, but I didn't know that after becoming my wife, my silly girl started getting so shy."
Then I hit his arm lightly, but no doubt it didn't make any difference. He didn't even move from his place.
Then we both started walking again in the garden hand in hand, remembering how our journey had really been.
Now he said while looking at me, "We already caused destruction to this world, isn't it?" Yuan asked me.
I smiled a little and said, "Of course. Our becoming and coming together is a destruction of the whole universe. Yuan, you know what? We both knew from the starting point of our lives that we were not meant for each other. We knew that God didn't make us for each other. We knew that we were not destined to be together, but still by fighting with all odds in our fate and destiny, we came together. We came to cause the destruction of this world," I said.
Yuan laughed a little and said, "But do you really think that, my silly wife, our coming together will cause destruction? How are you so sure about it? I mean I want to ask you why you don't think that we are meant for each other, that we are destined by our fate to be together? I don't know from where you got this thought from the beginning and see, you made me also think like you and now I am also starting to believe it without finding any logic in it," Yuan said.
I looked down at the ground for a while, then I looked at him and tilted my head a little just to look at him in my way, the way I always used to look at him whenever I wanted to lose myself in him. And right now, at this moment, I wanted to get lost in him again to answer his question.
Then I said, "Yuan, it's not that I am being negative or a pessimistic person about our story or our relationship. It's just that some truths are meant to be so true that we can't deny them. We need to and have to accept them at any cost. And from the beginning of us, I knew that we were not meant for each other. I knew this was not how it should be. I knew coming together was an impossible thing for us. The differences and distances between us would never let us unite in this lifetime. But still I was able to know you, I had fallen for you head over heels in this lifetime only, so this lifetime still really has some things in it," I said this to him.
But deep down inside myself, in my Mr. Heart, I know that I love you, but I know this too, that this is not true. I know we came together but still there is something, something very strange that doesn't let me believe these beautiful moments of our lives.
Why do I have this feeling? I don't know where it is coming from, but it really seems like my Mr. Heart keeps telling me, Zhao shiza, don't be happy over a thing that is not even permanent, otherwise you'll end up messing things up in your life.
But still I do want to believe this. I do want to believe that whatever Yuan is saying is right, but every time no matter how hard I try, this thought doesn't go out of my mind that this is not true, us is not true.
But how could it be possible? I asked myself this question, but maybe my question is not right. Maybe I am overthinking by myself only.
I kept thinking these deep thoughts inside myself for a while, and I got so lost in them that I didn't even realize I was missing the best moments of my whole lifetime.
Then suddenly Yuan Yuan arrived near me while I was completely lost in my own thoughts. He came holding an ice cream in his hands — my favorite flavor, chocolate vanilla.
I took it from his hand immediately and started eating it while holding it from Yuan Yuan's hand and said, "You are really a very good husband, Mr. Xu Yuan. You even brought your wife's favorite ice cream flavor," I said while eating my ice cream very happily and forgetting all the deep thoughts I had just been thinking about.
Then Yuan looked at me and said, "This whole event has only one flavored ice cream and that is your favorite chocolate vanilla flavor. All the people who came on our auspicious day to bless us and make our day memorable are eating only one ice cream, and that is your favorite one."
I smiled and looked at him and asked, "Do you really love me that much?"
He looked away for a bit and said, "I won't say that I worship you like you do, because my love and worship for you is nothing in front of the love and worship you give me. But I can say that you made me realize I can also love someone. You made me realize that someone can love me so unconditionally, innocently, and purely without expecting anything in return.
You made me realize that time, distance, and differences are all just excuses people make because love is boundaryless. It crosses all odds of this world, and your love made me feel cherished in each and every passing day. You made me realize that your love was just meant to be my love, just mine. You handed yourself over to me so carefreely that it seems like I am the safe place you were always searching for," he said while looking into my eyes.
"Indeed, you are my safest place," I said.
He chuckled a little and continued, "You know what, my silly wife? You made me feel so lovable that I got to know people from far away can love someone so passionately that their love is truly unbeatable. I know you lost all hope in me that we would ever be able to come together, but still we came together. I don't know how, but we really did it.
And I want you to believe it. I know in your Mr. Heart you are still not able to get that you have promoted yourself from my little fan girl from far away to my silly wife who is now too close to me," he said.
I laughed a little hearing this and said, "I know I am believing it now, and no matter how many bad thoughts I get about us, I'll definitely avoid them. I promise I definitely will."
He smiled and said, "You know what? I am liking this habit of yours where I just say something and you believe me. I haven't ever met a person in my life who believes me so blindly that even sometimes I get scared that what if I mistakenly break your belief in me. I really doubt myself many times," he said.
I smiled and held his hand in mine more gently and said, "I know you won't and you never will because trust means my Yuan Yuan and Yuan Yuan means my trust, and this is it."
He smiled again and said, "You are still not getting over your little fan girl era."
"Of course not. No matter how much time passes, even after becoming your wife and your partner in life, I'll always remain your same little fan girl of seventeen years old who still gets back home early to watch her celebrity crush's drama on television at the exact time and smiles foolishly while watching it. Just you appearing on the screen made Zhao Shiza do strange and stupid things — that is a forever thing which will always remain forever," I said.
He smiled and looked at me like his whole world was standing in front of him, and then he held my hands in his and while looking straight into my eyes, which as always made me lose my conscious state, he continued and said...