"You know what, Mrs. Xu Zhao Shiza, you came into my life and just ruined it," he said.
"Ruined it?" I asked him again while getting a little angry at him.
Then Yuan noticed my expression and while pulling my cheeks with both of his hands, he said, "You know what, my little wife? You look so adorable when you get angry like this, my angry bird," he said while pulling my cheeks.
I smiled and then I said, "Yuan Yuan, why did you say that I ruined your life? Am I that bad for you?" I asked him.
He smiled and said, "No, actually maybe you got me wrong because my meaning of ruining my life only means that my life was very professional. I go to shoots, do shoots, work on my new characters, whatever is assigned to me, do promotions, and attend events. And I only rest during Chinese New Year or Spring Festival. I go and visit my grandparents and my Ma and spend some family time with them. My life was so plain, way too professional — just work, home, then upcoming work, then festive holidays, and then again back to work. But you know what? When you came into my life in the least and most unexpected way, you just came and made my silent normal life filled with your chaos," he said.
Then he laughed a little and continued, "I think when you wake up every morning, your only agenda for that day is how to make Xu Yuan shocked by doing such strange things. I never knew a person could do things like that. You were really strange when we met, and when we first met I thought you were quite an observant person who remained silent, but it was just my imagination, just my imagination. Then when I slowly got to know you, I understood how you really are because you are not that silent naive girl which you seem to be from your appearance," he said.
I smiled while listening to him and asked him while smiling like an idiot, "Tell me then, what did you get to know about me afterwards?"
He smiled and said while looking into my eyes, like this is the only place where he gets lost, and then he said, "You have many personalities inside yourself. I have never seen a person having so many personalities within oneself. You become fierce when the situation comes. You are shy, you love to remain silent, and you like it when someone you love — or in simple words I can say it — you love it when your Yuan Yuan already knows what is going inside you without even asking you. You like it when I already know what you are feeling, but when the situation comes, you know very well how to express yourself and your emotions so fearlessly.
You get scared of darkness, you have a phobia of elevators, but you didn't think even for a second before rescuing the kid who got stuck in that elevator, and you didn't even get scared to enter that warehouse to get evidence for my innocence. You just went there all alone without even letting me know about it or without any precautions. You just threw yourself into my problems and rescued me from them," he said while getting a little emotional.
"Of course, because I know if I told you that I was going there, then you definitely wouldn't let me, that's why I didn't tell you," I said.
He smiled again and said, "You get scared of many things, or in short I can say you get scared over everything, but when problems come I don't know how you become so fearless and get so ready to face those problems. I really don't," he said.
"You know my answer to this question already very well, Yuan. Aren't I always used to saying this to you — anything or everything for you because you are my one and only Yuan Yuan," I said.
He chuckled and then tapped my forehead and said, "You are really not getting over me."
"How could I? How could I even? Especially when I know that now my Yuan Yuan is mine forever. I am really on twenty-nine-th cloud," I said while smiling.
"I know why you are saying that you are on twenty-nine-th cloud. I know it very well," he said.
"Hmm, you know everything quite well and I can say very well," I said.
"Why does your every anything somehow have me in it?" he asked me this question.
I laughed stupidly and said, "You know what, Yuan? Honestly, my anything or everything never had you in it. It was always me who made you there in my anything and everything. I purposely included you in it," I said.
"Sometimes we don't have a choice to decide for ourselves. Our fate has already decided for us, but for you, Yuan Yuan, I started challenging my own fate, which I know is a wrong thing. But in your love I never thought about what is wrong or what is right. I only knew one thing till my last breath — that I love you, I love you, and I love you. And you know, you know, you know that even if we had never met each other, even if you were with someone else, I believe that in your heart you would still have a feeling that somewhere far away from you, someone is worshipping you. You know what, Yuan? I worshipped my love for you by forgetting my own self, and this is what I call love — when you forget or lose yourself in loving that person because if you didn't lose yourself in love, then definitely it's not love," I said.
"My little wife has a great knowledge of love so deeply. I never knew it before," he said.
I smiled and said, "Of course I do, especially when I am in love with the most difficult person in this whole world," I said.
He smiled and said, "Am I really a difficult person?" he asked me this question.
Then I looked down for a second and said, "No, you are not a difficult person, but my love for you is a difficult thing because loving you only means always one thing," I said.
"What?" he asked me.
"That loving you will always remain a one-sided love of mine. Even after knowing it, I let myself fall for you because no matter how many times I tried every single method or way not to fall for you, I failed in each and every single attempt and ended up getting captivated by you only," I said.
"You know what, Yuan? At first, at the initial stage of my love, I was trying, I was literally trying too hard and pushing myself away from you, and I kept telling myself continuously that you are not mine, you are not meant to be mine. But every time I failed miserably in all of it. No matter how hard I pushed myself away from you, with even more gravitational force you pulled me towards yourself," I said.
"Then at that time I got to know this very well — nothing was going to work out. Every other method became ineffective for me to forget you. You really worked like a slow poison to me. Slowly, slowly, by the end of the drama series of yours that I saw for the first time, by the last episode of it, you had completely captivated my whole self. And I knew it very well that it was incurable and I had to accept it, so after that I started hiding my feelings for you, my love for you, from everyone. In front of everyone I only showed one thing — that I don't know anything about you and don't like you, but deep down inside every time whenever I said that I don't like you, every time I cursed myself," every time, Yuan.
The tears started forming in my eyes while saying my little fan girl confession to him, and then I said, "Yuan, loving you is really not easy, really not. It's the most difficult thing, but I must say that loving you eternally is the most beautiful thing that Zhao Shiza has ever done," I said while looking into his eyes which were also filled with tears.
And then he said while cupping my face with both of his hands that...