"What kind of rudimentary manual is this? Does the Qingyun Sect's Lord Pig truly lack any manual he desires?" Zhu Hao scoffed, his voice dripping with condescending judgment as he eyed the book Zeng Shushu offered.
With his current status as the newly established Taiqing Grandmaster Uncle, he had unrestricted access to every single secret scripture and hidden scroll within the Qingyun Sect. Zeng Shushu's little black market treasure could never compete with his authority.
"Uncle Zhu, this is a unique copy! Qingyun only possesses this one priceless artifact!" Zeng Shushu insisted, his tone thick with dramatic mystery.
This only piqued Zhang Xiaofan's curiosity further, and he couldn't help but inch closer.
Zeng Shushu then slowly opened the book. Inside, it was filled with incredibly detailed, lifelike illustrations accompanied by descriptive text.
Zhang Xiaofan, a boy of innocent heart and sheltered upbringing, had never witnessed such explicit scenes. His face instantly flushed a brilliant, deep red, and he immediately averted his eyes, desperate to pretend he hadn't seen anything at all.
"Lord Pig, what is your esteemed opinion? I assure you, there is only this single copy in the entire Qingyun!" Zeng Shushu declared, flashing a crude, knowing grin—a smile he was certain every man, even a golden pig, would understand. He had correctly deduced that Zhu Hao adored beautiful women and, since the pig could only hold them and not... engage, he must be a secret pervert!
Zhang Xiaofan was rendered utterly speechless. This scoundrel is actually trying to corrupt Grandmaster Uncle Zhu with this sort of degenerate literature? How evil!
"Not good at all! Do you truly believe Lord Pig is as wretched and depraved as you are?" Zhu Hao shouted, radiating an aura of absolute righteousness.
In his previous life, he had curated a collection so vast and magnificent that he had transcended to a 'God Realm' of connoisseurship. His eyes might glance at low-tier content, but his heart would never be tempted. Such vulgar, low-grade bribes were a literal insult to his decades of dedicated study.
"As a senior disciple of the Qingyun Sect, you should dedicate yourself to spiritual practice! Instead, you spend your time scheming with these crooked methods? Lord Pig has decided! This object is now officially confiscated!" Zhu Hao announced sternly, snatching the book with his paw and tucking it under his arm.
"Grandmaster Uncle Pig is profoundly wise!" Zhang Xiaofan whispered in admiration. It should have been seized immediately!
"I..." Zeng Shushu's face crumpled. He felt utterly devastated, having not only lost his target (Xueqi) but also his operational funds (the treasure book). He was truly beyond tears.
"Little Zeng Zeng," Zhu Hao said, suddenly cheerful again, pulling out a delicate silk scarf from his magical storage. He waved it tantalizingly in front of the distraught disciple. "Grandpa Pig has something much better to show you!"
"Do you happen to know what this is?"
"It's a silk scarf!" Zeng Shushu groaned, not even lifting his eyelids, his spirit crushed.
"Wrong!"
Zhu Hao roared the correction, startling both Zhang Xiaofan and Zeng Shushu. They both raised their heads, confusion written across their faces. If it wasn't a silk scarf, what could it possibly be?
"This," Zhu Hao declared, his voice dropping to a serious, confidential whisper, "is a silk scarf personally worn by Xiao Qiqi!"
"Xueqi!"
Zeng Shushu's eyes immediately widened, suddenly alight with frenzied, manic energy. It was as if he had been injected with the spiritual equivalent of a stimulant. He snatched the scarf, immediately burying his nose in it, inhaling deeply with an expression of profound, ecstatic intoxication.
Zhang Xiaofan wanted to vomit. He looked away, mentally chastising his idol. "I never thought Grandmaster Uncle Pig would be capable of such debauchery!"
"You want it, don't you?" Zhu Hao slapped Zeng Shushu away with a casual paw, retrieved the scarf, and gave a cunning smile.
"Y-yes!" Zeng Shushu stammered, staring at the scarf and nodding vigorously like a desperate, starved chick.
"Then let's see if you possess any treasures worthy of exchange?" Zhu Hao said slowly, drawing out the tension.
Zeng Shushu immediately launched into an excited monologue, listing all his various, esoteric treasures: strange clockwork mechanisms, ingeniously crafted hidden weapons, and complex spiritual formations. Unfortunately, Zhu Hao had absolutely no interest in low-level craftsmanship.
"Uncle Pig," Zeng Shushu finally frowned, seeing Zhu Hao's indifference. He suddenly remembered something and pulled out two vibrant spiritual herbs. "Can I exchange these two humble spiritual herbs for the scarf?"
"Let's see!" Zhu Hao took the herbs and, in two quick, loud crunches, devoured them whole.
Energy +10
Energy +10
"Hmm, rather ordinary," Zhu Hao judged after consuming them. "I will accept one hundred such spiritual herbs for the scarf!"
"Ah, one hundred herbs?!" Zeng Shushu cried out, his face contorted in agony. "Could Master Pig please offer a slight discount?"
"Since this is our very first transaction, I shall generously grant you a fifty percent reduction!" Zhu Hao condescended after a moment of feigned contemplation.
"Thank you, Lord Pig!" Zeng Shushu was instantly overjoyed. He quickly retrieved fifty spiritual herbs and handed them to Zhu Hao, snatching the coveted silk scarf in return.
"It smells so… intoxicating!"
Zeng Shushu held it pressed against his nose, his eyes glazed over with pure, unadulterated fantasy.
Zhu Hao watched his mark, secretly pleased with his success. The scarf Lord Pig used to wipe his oily hands last night smells so good! No wonder Lord Pig is so popular!
He began munching on the remaining spiritual herbs. He glanced at the judging Zhang Xiaofan. "Xiaofan, do you require anything? Tell Lord Pig, and I'll give you the family fifty percent discount!"
"Thank you for your generous offer, Lord Pig," Zhang Xiaofan quickly stammered, his face blushing even deeper. "This disciple truly requires nothing."
"Little Zeng Zeng," Zhu Hao said, standing up and patting Zeng Shushu's shoulder with his little paw. He then pointed meaningfully at his own chest. "Lord Pig has great expectations for your patronage. If you require further... goods... in the future, you may certainly come to me for, say, more directly sourced inventory..."
As a man of vast, if perverted, experience, Zeng Shushu instantly understood the implied offer. His eyes flared with renewed greed and excitement. He quickly folded the silk scarf and tucked it away safely, then immediately returned to massaging Zhu Hao's legs with even more exaggerated deference. "Master Pig, I am at your service! I require you! I require your goods!"
"Two hundred spiritual herbs. That is the fixed price. No further bargaining!" Zhu Hao stretched out two fingers, setting the tariff.
"Lord Pig, that is truly excessive! Where can a mere disciple acquire that many elixirs? Can you please offer the fifty percent discount once more?" Zeng Shushu pleaded, his smile faltering slightly.
"Lord Pig must inform you," Zhu Hao leaned in, his big eyes twinkling, sharing a look that Zeng Shushu tragically misunderstood as genuine insider connection. "That specific item was personally removed from Xiao Qiqi just tonight. Think about it carefully." His voice was a seductive, serpentine whisper of temptation.
With that final, decisive psychological strike, Zhu Hao didn't wait for the inevitable surrender. His Wind-Thunder Sky Wing technique kicked in, and he vanished in a shaking flash, returning to Xiaozhu Peak.
"Two hundred plants! Fine, two hundred plants it is!"
Zeng Shushu gritted his teeth, his resolve buckling under the weight of the offered 'intimacy.' He could not resist the temptation. He vowed to collect the two hundred spiritual herbs by tomorrow and return to beg Zhu Hao for the fresh item. The sadness he felt over the cost was quickly replaced by a delirious, obscene smile as he imagined his future proximity to Xueqi.
"Brother Zeng, it is deeply immoral for you to tempt Master Zhu into stealing! If the Sect Master and my Uncle Masters were to learn of this, they would punish you severely!" Zhang Xiaofan warned, horrified by Zeng Shushu's lewd grin.
"What do you mean 'tempting' me?" Zeng Shushu argued, standing up and throwing an arm around Zhang Xiaofan's shoulders. "Lord Pig suggested this himself, okay? Xiaofan, I consider you my dearest brother. You know the truth, I know the truth, and the mountains know the truth. You must never betray me or speak a word of this!"
"And Lord Pig knows the truth, too!" Zhang Xiaofan added weakly.
"Yes, and Lord Pig!" Zeng Shushu rolled his eyes, utterly helpless against the moral pressure.
"Brother Zeng," Zhang Xiaofan lectured, finding his voice. "As the saying goes, consumption drives the market. If you hadn't shown me your private manual, if you weren't so vulgar, and if you weren't willing to spend a fortune on my scarves, would I need to engage in such... procurement? Regardless, the Sect Master and the Uncles will definitely not punish me, so you're the one in trouble!"
"Oh, I never realized you, the mute disciple, could deliver such a perfectly logical and reasoned lecture!" Zeng Shushu looked at Zhang Xiaofan with genuine surprise. He patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, as long as neither of us says anything, no one will know!"
"Come on, I need to begin collecting those elixirs!"
The thought of his next, highly expensive acquisition of 'souvenirs' made Zeng Shushu's blood boil with renewed, misguided zeal. He practically ran off the mountain.
"Alas," Zhang Xiaofan sighed, shaking his head. "The pure Lord Pig has been utterly corrupted by this man!" He knew he was in for a scolding from his own Master for having been seen with Zeng Shushu on Xiaozhu Peak.
"It's clearly inefficient for Zeng Shushu to collect spiritual herbs alone," Zhu Hao mused after returning to Xiaozhu Peak. He realized the true potential of his discovery. This was an untapped market! "This is a legitimate business opportunity! Lord Pig must recruit more customers!"
Being a Grandmaster Pig of taste, justice, and responsibility, he naturally couldn't be involved in the actual stealing of personal items.
Therefore, Zhu Hao turned around, zipped out of Qingyun Sect, and decided to venture down the mountain. His new business plan was to buy massive quantities of women's apparel—scarves, handkerchiefs, silk robes—in bulk. If he could sell each item as a 'secret souvenir' for a hundred or eighty spiritual herbs, he would quickly become richer than the entire sect!
Thinking of the spiritual riches to come, Zhu Hao pointed his internal compass towards Yudu City at the foot of Qingyun Mountain.
His Wind-Thunder Sky Wing technique made him a blur of golden light, and he arrived in Yudu City instantaneously. The city was a roaring metropolis, bustling with traffic, merchants, and countless citizens.
"Wow, whose pet is this? It's utterly adorable!"
"I must hug it!"
The moment Zhu Hao landed in the city, a wave of high-pitched screams and adoration broke out. Countless girls and beautiful women immediately chased after him, desperate to take the adorable Lord Pig home as a pet.
"Hehe, as if you can catch Lord Pig!"
Zhu Hao was too fast to be caught, and he consciously refrained from speaking to avoid being identified as a sentient magical beast, which would cause an even greater, unmanageable sensation. Since he remained silent, the public simply assumed he was a rare, exotic pet.
"Jinxiufang?"
His eyes caught sight of a beautiful, exquisitely decorated establishment: a high-end women's clothing shop. Zhu Hao changed direction and dashed toward the door.
"Lord Pig is here to receive guests!" Zhu Hao announced in his childish voice as he entered the shop, immediately followed by bursts of panicked scolding from inside.
"Whose naughty child is that? Get him out of here!"
"Where is the child?"
A young female shop assistant rushed out, looking around in confusion, her eyes searching above the low counter.
"Lord Pig is right here, what exactly are you looking at?" Zhu Hao stood just inside the door, his little face conveying profound contempt for her lack of attention.
"Ah? A-a little monster!"
Hearing the voice, the girl looked down and saw a tiny, golden, bear-pig creature staring at her with terrifying arrogance. She gasped in shock.
"You are the monster! Your entire lineage is a monster!" Zhu Hao swore under his breath and immediately scampered further inside to begin his lucrative bulk purchase.