The cafeteria is one of the places that I was used to seeing in the game but now that I'm seeing it for the first time.
I chewed my breakfast slowly but my mind isn't on the food. It's on her.
Verdamona was sitting across from me, sipping tea like she's oblivious to the staring. She just doesn't care. Her presence is magnetic that naturally draws eyes, whispers and envy.
And that's exactly why I need her.
MoDS is an otome gacha game that is supposed to be about love interests and drama. At least, that's what the cover said. But the deeper I played, the more I realized it wasn't really a fairytale. It was a meat grinder dressed in romance. And now, I'm the 110,635th Outer to be transmigrated here.
That number alone makes my skin crawl.
Over a hundred thousand of us are pulled into this glittering nightmare. That means there are players in the University, maybe even sitting in this very room, wearing friendly smiles, laughing like normal students, while secretly sharpening their knives.
Because that's what humans do.
You give them power, they want more. You give them rules, they break them. You put them in a world where they can climb, dominate or conquer and they'll do it. Not everyone wants to be a hero. Not everyone wants to save the story.
I sure as hell don't.
I'm not here to protect the heroine's smile, or shield the innocent, or fight for peace. That's someone else's job. Some bleeding heart idealist is probably already dead outside these safe walls. I just want to survive and to do so in MoDS, you cling to the center of the world.
The protagonist is the anchor of this story. Everything revolves around her. The love interests, the arcs, the treasures and the plots of gods and Houses. Stay close to her and you're not just surviving, you're shaping the damn plot.
Verdamona Regenis is the key.
So yeah. I laugh, I eat breakfast with her, I joke about money, but that's not friendship. That's strategy. The closer I am to her, the more control I have over the flow of events. Because this isn't just a game anymore. This is life. A deadly one at that. Although I admit, she has Rina's personality and she's fun to talk to so at least I don't feel guilty about using her. She might make a good friend too.
The Fluviums are real and Rogue Fluxers too. They are dangerous as pixels on a screen. I can already imagine what it's like outside the islands because I'm sure not everyone was lucky enough to land in Reversa University. After all, the place doesn't have a hundred thousand people studying or teaching here.
Some were definitely thrown into the outside world like small towns, wilderness villages and backwater provinces where the story never cared to go. And MoDS never gave us details about what happens there during the University Arc. For three whole years, the game's spotlight is locked on Verdamona and her circle. Meaning those other players outside the University Arc are left in the dark with no guidance, no safety net amd no map. They're playing survival mode on hard difficulty, while we get scripted arcs and support systems.
I don't need a crystal ball to know what's happening. A few thousand are already dead who are mauled by Fluviums, hunted by Fluxers drunk on their own power or betrayed by other Outers who figured out early that eliminating competition means more resources, more secrets and more chances to live.
The university is safe. The Houses are safe. Anyone born with a crest and lineage has a roof and resources to shield them. But the commoner Fluxers? The ones who woke up with nothing but scraps of power, no ties to the Twelve Houses and no plotline to back them?
They're fucked. Plain and simple.
And as much as I chew my eggs and force a smile across the table at Verdamona, I can't shake the creeping thought pressing against my skull.
How long before this safe little bubble bursts?
Because when it does, I need to be close to her, to Thales, the love interests and anyone with enough narrative weight to tip the scales. I need to become necessary. That's how you survive a story that doesn't want you.
Verdamona set her teacup down, her eyes flickering up to mine. She smiled faintly, completely unaware of the calculations running through my head.
"Something on your mind?"
"Just thinking about the fight."
I'm not thinking about the fight. I'm thinking about the graveyard of Outers already piling up outside these walls and wondering how long I can keep pretending I'm not one of them.
"Why are you interested in me?"
She blinked, turning her head with that slightly bewildered frown she does when she thinks I'm being weird.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm an Argemenes that is part of an Abyssal House. People hate us. They don't just whisper, they spit the name. And yet here you are, sitting and talking to me like I'm not poison."
Her lips parted a little but I don't give her time to reply.
"My sister bullied you, right? Back in high school I mean."
Before the University Arc, there was the Academy Arc. The problem is, it wasn't the starting point of the story. They were just flashbacks in the game to explain why Xaessiarerich hated Verdamona which was simple, really. Verdamona was the popular girl. Xaessiarerich got jealous that turned into cruelty. Phasnovterich was in the same high school too and that's how he was known to have a brother complex to his sister. The only reason I even know about the bullying is because I played the damn game and saw the heroine's flashbacks of the villainess which makes me feel like an imposter asking this but still, I can't ignore it.
Verdamona sighed, breaking my train of thought.
"Phaser… does House stuff really matter?"
"What?"
She sat back, folding her hands in her lap.
"I won't lie. I hated your sister in high school. She made things miserable for me but why should I hate you for what she did? You're not her."
I don't know what to say to that. She continued, her gaze tilting upward.
"The truth is, I see you as a good person to relate with. In just three days since coming here, I've been followed, stalked and crowded by people keep trying to 'befriend' me."
She gestures the word in air quotes, her mouth twisting.
Outers, huh? Of course. Everyone knows the heroine's worth. Befriending her means gaining a shortcut. I already guessed it but hearing her confirm it makes my stomach tighten. Still, I asked the question nagging me.
"But why me? How do you know I'm not just one of them?"
Verdamona actually laughed upon hearing my question.
"Oh, believe me, I thought about it at first. But then, you never bothered with me. You never circled around like a hawk the way the others did. And you were… gentle."
"Gentle?"
"Yeah. Back in high school, despite all the rumors about the Argemenes, you were just… you. You never joined in, even when it would have made you look better. That confused me. And we never talked until we met in the Great Hall. So now, here at university, you're easier to be friends with than the vultures trying to swarm me."
Something in my chest makes me relieved at that.
"Well, if they bother you again, just call me. Maybe the Argemene name will scare them off for once."
"You're kind but thanks. I can handle them myself."
"You keep saying that I'm kind like surprises you. It's like you've never…"
I stoppe. The words tangle in my throat because I see her face shift. For just a second, there was that hollow flicker in her eyes.
There is a backstory the developers handed out in crumbs. The heroine experienced abandonment, neglect, trauma amd scars so deep the players wanted to climb into the screen and hug her. I shut my mouth before I drag it out of her. Instead, I force a lighter tone.
"Anyway, we should eat together more often. I've got a chef at my hostel. And I can cook too."
"Thanks. But you don't have to change the subject for my sake."
I scratched the back of my neck, chuckling.
"We're beginner friends, Verdamona. Let's not talk about my sister anymore. She's already a mood destroyer even just thinking about her."
"I agree."
Even though I'm using her to survive this world, I want to be her friend. If this is my life now, then I'll live it. And if I'm living it, I'd rather make new memories than rot in old ones.
Especially the ones I had in the monastery...