"Recalling those years, my tears wouldn't dry~"
In his villa, the Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju, was enjoying some hot pot while singing a tune. At first, he thought the weird song was ridiculous, but the more he heard it, the catchier it became. Slowly, he'd learned it by heart.
It went especially well with hot pot!
Just as Tobirama was savoring a sip of sake, he suddenly spat it out! Through the summoning space, he sensed what was happening outside.
His prized student, the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, had been taken down so easily by a cheap Seduction Technique? And the amount of blood he was losing… it was like a critical injury! Worst of all, the guy had passed out.
A bunch of kids had just waltzed out of the Hokage Building with the Scroll of Seals like it was nothing. This was beyond absurd—it was a complete disgrace!
Meanwhile, Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha were by a small river, competing to see who could… well, pee the farthest. Madara hadn't wanted to play along—childish games like this were beneath him—but Hashirama's relentless nagging dragged him into it.
Once in competition mode, Madara was all in, aiming for the opposite bank with full force.
"Heh heh heh heh! Hashirama, you were never my match as a kid, and you're still not now! Mito's always making you those 'special' dishes to boost your stamina, but how can you compete with me? Watch this—I'll shoot right through that rock over there!"
Madara was fully focused, but Hashirama's attention had shifted to the outside world.
"Whoa!" Hashirama exclaimed.
Madara's heart swelled with pride. Ha! Amazed, aren't you? Jealous, Hashirama? This is my natural talent—you can't learn this! But when he glanced at Hashirama, his face fell. The idiot wasn't marveling at his aim—he was focused on what was happening outside!
Madara was pissed. He'd just shot through the rock with full effort, and Hashirama wasn't even paying attention!
"Madara! Naruto's ninjutsu is incredible! I've gotta learn that technique too!" Hashirama said excitedly.
Madara tuned into the outside world and scoffed. This was the Third Hokage of the Hidden Leaf? Taken out by some low-class, tacky Seduction Technique? Look at that blood loss—what a joke!
If this was the state of the Hokage, it was no wonder the Hidden Leaf Village was in such a mess.
But when Hashirama mentioned wanting to learn the Seduction Technique, Madara's mind conjured an image: Hashirama transforming into a long-haired, elegant woman—slender legs, flowing hair, a stunning face, and… well, let's just say a very prominent chest.
Suddenly, Madara felt his nose itch. He quickly wiped it.
"Whoa, Madara, you're bleeding!" Hashirama said, looking genuinely concerned.
Madara's mood soured even more. "You idiot! Get away from me!"
Then, Hashirama seemed to have an epiphany, swallowing hard. "Hey, Madara, could you learn the Seduction Technique too? I wanna see what you'd look like as a girl! You'd probably be super pretty, right?"
Hashirama's face lit up with a goofy grin as two streams of red trickled from his nose.
"You moron! Get lost!" Madara shouted.
"Come on, Madara, just try it!" Hashirama pleaded.
"Scram!"
"Well, don't you wanna see what I'd look like transformed?"
"Get the hell outta here! I don't wanna see anything! Get as far away as you can!"
And so, for the first time in who-knows-how-long, the two legends of the ninja world both ended up with nosebleeds.
Back at home, Mito Uzumaki was simmering some mysterious animal limbs in a clay pot—long, oddly shaped things. With her sensory abilities, she was fully aware of what Hashirama and Madara were up to. Gritting her teeth, she grabbed a chopstick and viciously stabbed it into one of the limbs in the pot.
"Hashirama, you idiot! Go to hell!"
Stab, stab, stab!
After venting for a while, Mito let out a long sigh. Then she remembered a song Ito Hirofumi had taught her.
"Sigh… I love you, but you love him. I'm so tired of this game…"
---
Outside, Naruto Uzumaki had successfully nabbed the Scroll of Seals. Hinata, Ino, Tenten, and Sakura, who'd been keeping watch around the Hokage Building, regrouped with the others. The thirteen members of the Konoha 12, including Ito Hirofumi, bolted toward a forest on the edge of the Hidden Leaf Village.
But this wasn't the spot where Mizuki had told Naruto to go—it was the complete opposite direction!
In a clearing, Naruto laid the Scroll of Seals on the ground and unrolled it fully.
"Alright, everyone! Come learn this stuff!" Naruto called out.
Ito waved the others over. "This scroll's got all the powerful ninjutsu the Hidden Leaf's collected since the Warring States period. Memorize as much as you can, as fast as you can! Time's short—the Third Hokage's probably gonna wake up soon. Try to remember at least one or two techniques each, and we can share them later!"
The Konoha 12 dove in, frantically committing the scroll's contents to memory. They were smart enough not to write anything down—any notes would likely be confiscated by the Third Hokage later.
Sasuke activated his two-tomoe Sharingan, rapidly memorizing everything he could. Sakura, ever the scholar, mumbled the techniques' details under her breath as she studied, reciting them like a true academic.
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