The Value of a Soul
Varric held her close, utterly terrified. Why did he feel, in this moment of victory, that he was going to lose her? His newly evolved heart thundered in his chest, a deep, resonant drumbeat against his silver-laced scales. He shut his eyes tight, fear—a sensation alien to a being of his stature—beginning to slowly well up within him like dark water.
He held her even tighter, instinctively falling into her essence as the Serpent Lord. He inhaled deeply and smelled lilacs, crisp sunshine, and cool water—the signature scent of her true soul. This was his Ardyn, and his heart was singing while his soul was yearning. But still, tension coiled in his shoulders as he thought about her somehow walking away from him, either physically or emotionally.
"What Elsa said is true, my love," he admitted, his voice a low rumble. "But I want you to be happy. If you are not happy, then none of this—the cave, the Deep, my existence—matters."
Ardyn pulled away from him, and the movement felt like a stone dropping in the pit of Varric's being. She looked at him sternly, her eyes still sparkling with the fresh memory of the Prophetic Dream. She stood and proceeded to pull at his massive hand, urging him to stand with her. He stood, a gentle, worried smile on his face, looking down at her, quietly waiting.
Her eyes held his gaze with a certainty he had never seen before. "You have told me that you love me, and that you want me to be happy. You have said this and shown it in equal measure. But the dream showed me my destiny, Varric. I don't want to be a gift you cherish, or a possession you protect, or a dependent you must always reassure."
She stepped closer, placing her hands flat against his armored chest. "I want to stand beside you, be a help, more than a pretty bauble. I want to be something vital to you—your anchor, your equal, your sovereign partner."
"You already are," he argued, frowning as his gaze swept over her small, yet suddenly formidable frame. They looked at each other as if they couldn't understand what the other wanted in the given moment. Varric wanted simple, unconditional acceptance; Ardyn demanded conditional, hard-earned worth.
"You don't understand, Varric. You need an equal."
"And why do I need an equal?" He countered, his frustration audible in the subtle rasp of his scales. "I just want you. What makes you feel that you are not already my equal?"
She scoffed, the sound laced with old, deep pain. "In what? My magic is young and still chaotic. I have no money that is truly mine, I have no land that I command, and I have no history of power. I am a nobody." She paused, expecting his disagreement, but he was already shaking his head.
"Your magic is more powerful than many I have seen across millennia. It is simply untrained. You just need to practice using it. From what Elsa says, you have both money and land." He balled his fist right as he thought about the family who had stolen her future. He wanted to return to Silver Vale and inflict proper retribution, but Ardyn's delicate presence held him captive.
Ardyn smiled, a genuine, luminous expression, and took one of his huge, clenched fists into her tiny hands. "I know, Elsa told me. But that… is not mine." She shrugged, the weight of the massive inheritance meaning nothing to her. "I plan on giving that to the tiny village on your northeastern border that had so much damage during the battle with the Cobra Clan. They need it more than I need the memory of my family's greed."
With a flash of purple light, five small, mundane objects appeared before them: a worn wooden doll, a tiny silver locket, a smooth river stone, a scorched piece of parchment, and a dried lilac flower. "These are important to me. They are simple relics of my parents. Right now, that's all I need to call my own."
She suddenly became serious again, her joy draining away to be replaced by cold determination. "This is what I need you to do. I need to train. I need to be ready. And listen to me carefully: Do not kill my family. I am not sure what I want to happen to them yet, but I want to be the one that exacts punishment. It is the only way I can finally separate myself from the shame they created."
Varric ran a thumb over her cheekbone, his skin surprisingly soft against her temple. "I want to give you everything, my love. That, I can partially promise. They will suffer, I can assure you of that, but I will allow you the first strike. I promise to keep them alive until you are ready."
She pursed her lips, nodding slowly, accepting the compromise. "Then I need to hurry. I am going to Breakmeade to check on the people."
"Wait." He pulled her back to him, his arms closing around her in a desperate, silken embrace. He wasn't ready for this moment to end. "Why is all this necessary? You are not a bauble to me. You are everything to me. I love you, Ardyn. Why is love not enough for you?"
Ardyn paused, the question hitting her heart like a physical spasm. She couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. She slowly closed her eyes and swallowed several times, fighting the rising panic. Varric's arms tightened around her even more as she finally spoke, her voice muffled against the smooth, supple, black scales of his chest.
"I know how you feel, Varric. I know you love me, and the dream showed me that you will always love me. But… but, I can't love like I need to."
Varric closed his eyes, the deep misery of her words flowing from his chest and filling his being.
"I love you. I know I do," she clarified quickly, desperately. "I love the safety you give me, and the respect you demand for me. I am just so scared—I feel if I accept your love now, before I earn my own power, you will realize that I am not what you want. I need to be the person the dream showed me before I give you my whole heart, or I will always be waiting for the moment you send the servant away."
He kissed her, a soft, intimate touch to her forehead, a Seal of the Serpent Lord, and she stopped talking, silenced by the sheer force of his devotion.
"I don't like you thinking like this. How can I help you be the person you want to be?" he murmured against her hair. "I want you to be happy. Please allow me to make you happy."
Ardyn's heart twisted in her chest. Hearing him ask like this, pleading for permission to offer the most basic comfort, made her feel she was causing him to be weak or lower himself somehow. She was breaking his Serpent Lord composure.
She took a deep, shuddering breath, the scent of his scales grounding her. She felt the depth of his devotion—it was enough to drown in. But she had seen her future self, and what she could truly be, and what she could achieve. She wanted to be his equal – not his possession.
With a final, painful squeeze, Ardyn pulled herself free from his embrace.
She stepped back, the lilac-and-sunshine energy of her soul immediately rushing to the surface, transforming the raw emotion into pure, cold determination. Her eyes, still shining with the memory of the prophecy, met his.
"You help by giving me space, Varric." She smiled gently into his eyes – her fingers delicately gliding down his jawline. She kissed his cheek softly and walked to the center of the moss bed – strength bubbling up within her. To maintain her resolve she kept her back to him. "The Prophetic Slumber showed me the first steps. I will begin here, in the Tranquility Cave. I need to focus to hear my inner song – the core of my magic."
Varric watched her, his large frame rigid – as he battled against two internal needs, giving her the space she needed and rushing to her and demanding she accept his help and protection. He felt the dense knot of emotion in his chest – all of it was so complicated. He saw her raise her arms, purple light crackling around her small, determined hands.
He stayed long enough to ensure she was safe, his heart twisting with a strange mix of pride and agony. He had given her freedom, and the first thing she did was push him away to work.
He let the smoke rise around him, transforming into his serpentine form with a soundless rush of air. He cast one final, sorrowful glance at the beautiful creature concentrating on her internal magic – her always thinking she was flawed but him only forever seeing perfection.
He turned and slid out of the cave, the fear still a cold knot in his stomach. But as he entered the dark tunnels of the Serpent Clan cave system, the fear was instantly subsumed by a familiar, ancient rage.
The Stronghoods.
They had made his queen believe she was worthless. They had caused the pain that now put a barrier between them. Varric would keep his promise and leave them alive for Ardyn to claim, but he would make sure they understood what true, agonizing suffering felt like until she was ready.
Revenge could wait no longer.