During my first Foundational Hero Studies class, I—Midoriya Souko—was abducted by All Might. They confiscated the suit I'd been wearing for some kind of examination, gave me a health checkup in the nurse's office, and in the end, I never made it back to class.
Apparently, the people who did attend Foundational Hero Studies paired up for some kind of practical combat training. I heard Todoroki did pretty well. What about Kacchan, you ask? That idiot skipped class to come see me, so he's just as much of a truant as I am.
He seemed to be talking about something with All Might, but who knows what. Probably something stupid like which AV actress they prefer. Men, honestly.
Oh, and on the way home, Kacchan bought me ice cream.
Häagen-Dazs, of course.
Fast forward to the next day.
When I opened my eyes, I found an annoyed-looking Kacchan right in front of me.
Huh? That's weird. Kacchan's in a maiden's room. That's strange. Wait, that's really strange. This is supposed to be a maiden's sanctuary, but Kacchan isn't even rifling through my dresser. How odd.
Oh, but he is holding a pair of panties.
"...Do you need a bra too?"
"Like hell I do! I tripped in your damn room, and when I checked what I stumbled on, it was your underwear, you idiot!"
"You don't have to go full power with the excuses. I get it. You can keep those."
"You don't get it at all!"
Kacchan hurled the panties at my face.
They were clean ones, so they smelled like soap.
"So what are you even doing here?"
"Isn't it obvious?! I came to pick you up!"
"Pick me up?"
Why would Kacchan come to get me?
I have no idea what's going on.
Well, whatever.
"—Mmm..."
"Don't you dare go back to sleep! Get your ass up already!"
Kacchan started shaking me while yelling.
Makes it really hard to fall back asleep.
Ugh, I'm gonna throw up.
...So loud!
I grabbed his noisy head and pulled him into a hug against my chest so he couldn't move. Caught off guard by the sudden move, Kacchan froze completely for a moment.
But this is the natural-born genius we're talking about. He quickly recovered and started struggling to break free.
"Mmph!? Mmgh, gah!"
"Stop squirming. I'm not wearing a bra right now, so show some restraint."
"Mmgah!?"
It's true—I'm not wearing one.
I have an undershirt on, but things are definitely bouncing.
A real-life motorboat situation. Kacchan must be losing his mind.
He's the type who's actually considerate about this stuff between guys and girls, so I knew if I said that, he'd settle down. You don't stay childhood friends for nothing. If he wanted to wake me up, he should've brought Mom or some incredibly delicious cream puffs. Fuhahaha.
Still, what a cutie.
Can't even resist this much.
I was petting his spiky head and about to doze off again when the door suddenly opened.
I cracked my eyes open just a bit to see Mom staring at us with an absolutely terrifying expression.
"Souko, what are you doing first thing in the morning? I thought it'd be fine since Katsuki went to wake you up, but... are you trying to drag Katsuki into bed and do something with him?"
"Eek!"
I threw Kacchan aside and dropped into a dogeza.
"I'm so sorry!"
"And what about Katsuki, who came to wake you up?"
"I'm so sorry!"
As I bowed to Kacchan too, a hand landed on my shoulder with a pat.
I didn't need to look to know—this was the scary one.
"Get changed. Now."
"Ma'am! Yes, ma'am!"
"D-don't start stripping, you damn slut! Wait till I get out!"
Shut up! I'm five seconds away from being killed by my mother! Just stand there with your morning wood and watch quietly!
At this point, I don't care if you see me naked, you fool!
—Or so I thought as I started pulling off my shirt, but Mom landed a solid hit to my side.
Mom's orders: "Wait until Katsuki leaves, you stupid daughter." You're the one who told me to hurry up!
***
When Kacchan and I arrived at school together and entered the classroom, everyone surrounded us. Mostly the girls.
Apparently, they'd all been worried about me.
Don't worry, everyone—my virginity is intact. Still intact, I promise. Huh? You weren't worried about that? Then what were you worried about? What? When a maiden gets dragged off, isn't that the natural concern? It's not? —Wait, Ashido, why are you pink? Did someone bully you? Oh, I see. Just a superhuman thing.
"Geez, Souko, your jokes are too much! There's no way we'd worry about that! I mean, it was All Might who took you!"
Uraraka—aka Bad Luck Girl—said with a laugh.
"Really? You can't judge a book by its cover, you know? The world is full of 'I never thought they'd be that kind of person' stories."
"W-well, that may be true, but..."
"All men are wolves. You might get groped without warning, just like the other day."
"Eek! I-I wouldn't like that, but..."
"Wait, wait, wait just a minute! I keep telling you I didn't do anything like that!"
While I was chatting pleasantly with Uraraka, Four-Eyes butted in.
His lecherous gaze assaulted Uraraka's rear. So I pointed it out to her.
She let out a little "Eek!" and hid behind me. Good, good. I permit you to use me as a shield.
"There you have it. If you want to sexually harass Uraraka—you'll have to get past Todoroki first!"
"Shouldn't it be you!?"
"Don't drag me into this, Midoriya."
They both delivered perfect retorts.
We could form a comedy trio, the three of us.
"Want to become comedians together?"
"Are you really trying to be a hero!?"
Nope, not really.
Though I'm not planning to become a comedian either.
"I've been wondering since yesterday—are you friends with All Might, Midoriya? You two seemed really close!"
Invisible Girl asked energetically.
Whoa, this girl's got some serious boobs.
Right, Hagakure... Toru... Akirako.
"If I answer, will you grant me one request?"
"Huh, a request? Sure! Sure! If it's something I can do, leave it to me!"
"More like an acquaintance—he's basically a stalker. There, I told you. Now let me touch."
"A stalker!? Wait, touch? Hyah!"
Since I answered her question, I immediately grabbed Invisible Girl's face with both hands. Hmm, hmm. Her cheeks are soft and smooth. High nose bridge, big eyes maybe? Well-groomed eyebrows, and her bangs are above her eyes... I see, I see.
"U-um, Midoriya!? Wait, um..."
"Yeah, I've got a pretty good idea! Invisible Girl looks like the celebrity—"
"Nooo! Stop! That's embarrassing!"
Invisible hands covered my mouth.
Apparently, Invisible Girl's sense of shame lies in being recognized.
After promising not to reveal her face, I was released and had some light communication with the other girls before moving on to my next prey.
"Mm, the gaze of a demon."
Crow-Head sensed my presence and turned toward me.
Seeing me wiggling my fingers, he quietly took a defensive stance.
This one's good.
"Stay back, Midoriya."
"Nah, I'm coming for you. Absolutely."
I dashed forward to catch him and hug him, but my body stopped moving. I looked down to find bandages wrapped around me.
Th-this is!
I traced the source of the bandages with my eyes to find Bandage-Sensei with a stern expression. He was glaring hard at me.
"Midoriya. Don't cause trouble first thing in the morning."
"It's not my fault, Sensei! He's the one tempting me! Telling me to pet him, feed him, take him for walks! Threatening me that if I don't bathe him every day, he'll get sick!"
"Don't try to domesticate your classmates."
"Bath... w-wicked temptation!"
"Why are you a little happy about that?"
"Don't say it, Kirishima. I understand. Right, Ojiro?"
"!? Sero, why are you bringing me into this!?"
"Midoriya's pretty bold, huh? She said she'd wash him, Mineta."
"Gaaah, wash me instead!"
***
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