En tu, brute?
-William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar
"My lady". Mr Killotin called. "Canary". He called my name again but all I could do was stand there. Watching Agustin's carriage ride off and it began to pour. Hard was the rain and hard wasn't thoughts on what next to do.
"Canary"! Mr Killotin shouted, drawing my attention. His wife who was also my nanny at one point of a time somehow found her way down to me. "Are you alright"? He asked. "Does it look like I'm alright?". Is what I wanted to say but I only said it in my head.
Mr Killotin didn't deserve the wrath that I wanted to afflict on my parents and Agustin. Who even them wasn't worth it. "Amara's wedding is in four days". I continued to stare out at the rain. "Until then I shall keep up the front that I am okay". I answered.
"But-". Mrs Killotin tried to rejecting. "Wouldn't want to break Amara's heart or ruin her day". "Close the doors, lock the gate of the estate, no one in or out without my permission". I said walking away.
The next day was a blur. Amara came over and stayed I'm sure of it. I remember her prancing around in this beautiful wedding gown and my mother who I had let come over for the sake of Amara. A beautiful bride Amara would make.
The gown was huge and beaded with this long veil that flowed from one end of the room to the other. She looked beautiful in her wedding gown and happy she was. I'd never see Amara smile that huge before. Neither did I see my mother smile ever so bright. Maybe my mother smiled this brightly when grandmother took me away?
I wondered. "I wonder what wedding dress you will wear". Amara said sitting next to me after she had tried everything on. "What do you mean"? I asked. "Your marriage to Agustin was I not supposed to know"? She giggled. "I'm glad you two sorted out Agustin looks like a promising man". She smiled.
Oh my dear sister if only you knew he wasn't a promising man. But I remained quiet as Amara gushed over her wedding shoes. Sparing her the truth and the awful of a threatening glare from my mother.
"Shall I stay here until I get married"? Amara asked, putting her shoes away. "Uh-". "Wouldn't you want to spend the last days with father and mother"? I asked. "Yes but I spend every day with them, and rarely do I spend it with you soon. I won't be able to see you that much". Amara hugged me, placing her head on my chest as if she were a babe.
"Maybe only for tonight". I answered. "You can come to me anytime after you get married, father and mother not so much". "What about you then when you get married you won't be able to see them that much either". Amara raised her head.
I smiled at Amara who seemed somewhat naive at moments. I wanted Amara to stay this innocent always. Not knowing what was going or what would happen so she wouldn't have the displeasure of getting hurt or feeling heart break. "The people that I would want to see after I get married are no longer here". "Oh". Amara said seeming to understand.
There was a silence with Amara looking sad and my mother a mix of displeased and somewhat saddened too. I couldn't care how my comment made my mother feel. Especially when she didn't care about my feelings. Abandoning me twice the second time, selling me away. "How about I stay here too". My mother said cheerfully. "A mother daughter sleepover we shall call it".
"Why". I asked coldly. "If you want to have a mother daughter sleepover with Amara you could do it at the capital villa". I protested. "Both of her daughters are getting married. Canary this will probably be her last time she has someone to keep her company". "Nolan surely doesn't keep her company". "You mean your company Amara". I snapped.
"What"? Amara said confused like naive women she was. "You mean your company you forget I've only lived with you guys for seven years and during those seven years I wasn't keeping mother company you were".
"I-. I-. What"? Amara shuttered. "Our grandparents were the ones who raised me from when I was five months until they died when I was seventeen"! I said looking at my mother who stared off into the distance with some guilty look on her face.
"Mother left me without a name for those five months, it was grandmother who came and gave me a name". "She didn't name me. Contrary to what you and brother joke about my name meaning Island of dogs"! I began to feel my voice raise higher and higher.
Even stopping the designer from packing Amara's dress away and the servants began to watch. "Canary, I didn't know". Amara's voice cracked. "There's a lot you don't know sister and perhaps it should stay that way". "What"?! Amara stood up leading me to also stand up.
"How cruel"! Amara shouted . "No how naive"! I shouted back. "How naive and blind you were and are to not see that it's only you and Nolan who were raised and grew up in that house"! "My childhood home is not here it's overseas in Qiaiar"! "What company? The only company I gave was to my real mother"!
"How dare you"! My mother protested. "No how dare you?! Walking in here planning some sleepover acting like some grieved and poor mother who's child is going away"! "Canary"! My sister shouted to me to stop.
"No you stop"! "You stop being so naive and blind if you were stupid I would call you so but you aren't". "Where were you when I suddenly came to live with you at the age of seventeen. Was your kind on a vacation?! Probably on a ship somewhere?! Did you think I was too truly your sister or perhaps a cousin father and mother adopted"?
"The fact that you even consider let alone trying to convince me to let mother stay here overnight is outrageous". "Keep mother company because we will be gone is your excuse"? I sneered. "After I was given away to our grandparents she didn't have company for four years"!
"She did fine then she can do fine after we've married". "Even if she didn't have your company then she shall surely want it after you leave"! Amara said. "Maybe you are stupid"?
I could see the thoughts going wild in Amara's eyes. Stupid? Stupid how? What does she mean by saying this? She wondered and asked herself. "My company or yours"? I looked at my mother who looked frightened when she met my eyes. "Shall we ask mother the reason she is truly here"?
Amara looked back at our mother who flinched. "What do you mean". "Ask yourself my dear sister why I suddenly am marrying Agustin and so quickly at that". "Why mother all of a sudden who had no interest in me is now wanting a sleepover"?
"Canary". My mother said softly and coldly. "I shall tell you the reason Amara". "So you will stop being so foolish,naive, and stupid"! "Mother and father cut a deal with Agustin, the very same man they wanted me to spy on". "The very same man who threatened and cut a deal with the Wolf family who planned all of these and is now sending mother in to spy on me"!
"A promising man"! "The man is terrible and a fraud"! "You think mother and father are so nice they wouldn't do that surely they wouldn't". I played my hands on Amara's shoulders. "To you and Nolan they wouldn't". "You and mother can have your sleepover and company all you want but don't try to guilt me into it".
Amara had this heart broken look on her face as if she were a baby whose parents hurt her feelings. Your first heart break is supposed to be from your love isn't it? Not from your parents. Amara had never tasted heartbreak before today was her very first one.
She and mother still spent the night and the next day after that. For what reason I do not know why considering the fact neither one of them spoke a word not even to each other until the day they left with only Amara saying goodbye. Perhaps this would change Amara from her naive ways.
She would need it to deal with her in-laws anyways. Looks and sweet personality wouldn't do in the adult social scene. It might've worked with the younger crowd of unmarried women and men but Amara wasn't in this scene anymore. No she wasn't….she was in the married world now.
Which came with schemes and betrayal that even our big house name couldn't fathom. I seemed to have a taste of it dealing with Agustin.
The day went and a box and a note with it came from Agustin. It was a green gown with emerald accessories to go with it. The note read
Dear Canary,
Your mother and father have invited me to your sister's wedding. I figured since I am invited and soon we will be married you shall wear the colors of house Abarca. We shall wear the same colors and you should wear your hair down also. I shall see you there.
~Sincerely Agustin Abarca.
"He wants you to wear this"? Mrs Killotin said, looking at the extravagant dress. Green silk". I said lifting the dress up. "It looks like Qiaiar attire". She said shock with her mouth wide open. "It is Qiaiar attire". I answered, throwing the dress in the box.
"I won't be wearing this". "You won't"? "If he wishes to please me by sending me Qiaiar attire to wear then I shall wear something of my grandmother's true Qiaiar silk and attire". "Yes". Mrs Killotin smiled.
The day of the wedding arrived and I went wearing true Killotin fashion. Drapes and embroidered work woven into the linen clothes. The Qiaiar kingdom fashion was more embroidered work on their clothes than gems and lace as it was in the empire.
The empire prided themselves on their jewelry and gem clothing. While the Qiaiar kingdom though they prided themselves in their clothing, it was more from a heartful place. embroidered work was a treasure there. To learn and do it was a gift.
So the dress that Agustin sent wasn't a true Qiaiar dress; it was more lace and little gems than embroidered work. I would wear my hair down but not in the way that Agustin would want it. In Qiaiar fashion. These little bubbles that were separated by gold jewelry. I wore some of my hair out which was curly and out simple gold jewelry on.
"One would think you were on your way to Qiaiar". Mr Killotin said, helping me down the stairs. He cleared his throat before opening the door. "Duke Abarca is here to pick you up". "I should've known from the note". I smirked .
He opened the door and there Agustin stood outside of his green carriage with his green suit on, holding his hand out to me. He looked me up and down wondering where the dress he had sent was and why my hair was like this.
I could see his eyes darting up to my head and then to my dress back and forth. I took his hand and stepped into the carriage and he followed after sitting across from me. He was quiet for a moment, staring at me. "Didn't like the dress I sent". He finally said.
"I quite like the color orange". I said smoothing down my orange dress. "And your hair"? He asked, staring up at my head. "It seemed you wanted me to go with Qiaiar fashion so I went". "Not truly down like I would like". Agustin protested.
"You wanted Qiaiar fashion, you got it". I answered. The look Agustin gave me then was of pure anger and frustration. That things didn't go his way. A bit dramatic of him. Things never seemed to go my way after I had to move back with my parents but you never see me throwing a fit. Until last night that is.
We arrived at the wedding venue. It was some type of nature paradise. It was held outside in the huge villa that was her in-laws garden. Their estate was like a palace. The Reed family resided in the capital most of their business was their anyways and the Reeds who were a Marquee family also was a part of the emperor's council which was another reason their estate looked like a palace and why they stayed in the capital.
Flower petals littered on the ground vines and trees here and there. In fact the only thing that wasn't a plant was the tables and chairs. Even the arch where Amara would stand was wooden with flowers and vines on it.
We stepped out of the carriage. Agustin stepped out first and held his hand out to help me out. Eyes were already on Agustin but when I stepped out of the carriage all of the people's gaze seemed to come upon us. They whispered to each other eyes staring as we walked past them.
"Look, the Wolfs are here". Agustin chuckled. I followed his eyes to them. They were standing with my parents talking, only Stellan was looking at me out of the group. "Shall we go say hello". Agustin said, grabbing my hand and leading me over to them.