"RAAAAGGH!! TURKING, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!!" Said an armored man, as he fell into a chasm full of spikes.
"MY TURKEY! NOOOOOOOOOO!!" Said another man, falling alongside them.
"I already warned you all about that trap! How are you all falling for this?! Damn idiots...!" A scientist quickly types on his tablet, trying to find a way to save them.
"I'm coming, just wait!" The strange robot's voice echoed as he floated down...
But wait a moment, who are these people? Let's take a few steps back...
---
In the middle of an unknown cave, a portal suddenly appeared, and in it, a black and red blur came out. "AAAAGH- OOF! Ugh... where the hell is this...?" He looked around the room, seemingly dazed after the suddenly falling through a portal. He is adorned in black armor, with a bucket with horns on their sides, covering his head safe for his mouth and eyes. He brought a gigantic black hammer alongside him.
Another portal appeared, and out came a man wearing red robes and yellow shoulder pads, fitting for a king, maybe. He flopped onto the ground like a piece of toast. To their side is a flaming sword, its embers a fiery orange. "Urgh... they said I would get free turkey if I went through the portal... there's none at all! I've been tricked..." Pushing himself up, he saw the armored man. "Oh, hey there! Do you know where we are?"
"Beats me, I also just came. Wait a minute, who the hell are you?" The armored man stood up with his hammer supporting him, and clutched it tightly, ready to fight.
Yet another portal appeared inbetween them, and out came a scientist with a dark coat, wearing green visor-style glasses, and on top of his head is a green domino crown. "Something went catastrophically wrong earlier... and looks like right now i'm in the middle of a conflict. And by the looks of it..."
He pointed his finger at the armored man first. "You are emotionally volatile," then moved his finger to the robed man. "And you look like an idiot."
The man in robes pouted, clearly upset from the scientist's judgement. "Hey! I'm not an idiot! I can uh... solve a math question! Two plus two equals... ehm... four!"
The armored man could feel his face go red in anger. He then took a thunderous step to the scientist. "EMOTIONALLY VOLATILE?! Buddy, you just came here and know nothing about us! Who are you to judge?!"
The scientist didn't even look at him, a sneer twisting on his lips. "You just proved my point. Looks like i'll have to be the leader by default, since youbabies are clearly not competent enough for it..."
"You damn piece of shit...!" The armored man looked like he was about to attack the scientist, but then...
THRUM!!
Another portal appeared yet again, and out came a weird humanoid blue and white robot with a teapot on their head. Their landing made the caves rumble, and the sound echoed all around. Behind him is a gravity hammer, with a subtle blue aura around it. "I managed to catch myself... and also interrupted in something. But will you just take a step back for now? Why attack him?"
The armored man took a few steps back from the scientist, but still looked wary about the robot. "Hmph... fine. But he dared to call me 'emotionally volatile'. How dare he! I am not volatile at all!"
Cesus's teapot head tilted in a clear gesture of disappointment. "That's... it? I expected a betrayal, not... this. Nevertheless, where are we?"
Dusting off his dark coat, EXEC rose from his sitting position. "By my analysis, we are in a cave system. I'll send some scout drones." From his coat came a small cube, which he tossed to the ground. It immediately began to unfold, transforming into four silent, camera-equipped drones.
"Scouter Unit T87, scan the perimeter!" The scientist commanded to the drones. The drones' cameras turned green in affirmation, and flew around the cave. "Those things are made for espionage and scouting! They can fly without making any sounds, and are even equipped with top of the line cameras that are able to see in the dark! What's more..." The scientist continued to yap about the drones for a long time.
"Right then," the robot proposed, ignoring the scientist's continuing lecture. "How about we introduce ourselves while we wait?"
"Good idea." The armored man stood tall, hefting his hammer. "I am Doombringer, emperor of the Randios Empire! Stand in my way, and I'll crush you to paste!"
Between bites of a turkey leg, the robed man chimed in. "Oh, we're doing introductions? I'm Turking! I love turkey. Also, I lead a kingdom, I guess... but I don't care!"
The robot glared intensely at Turking. "Highly doubt you can even lead an empire."
Doombringer joined in. "You look like you'd eat a turkey leg on your throne if you were given the chance to!"
"Hey! Turkey legs are delicious, you know!" Turking turned away.
"Hey! You all didn't even listen to me about the greatness of my invention? Ugh, classic idiots and their lack of taste... I am EXEC, great scientist/CEO of 'EXEC W&G (weapons and gadgets) Inc.'! You will all realize my intelligence one day and bow before me!" The scientist's face was smug and arrogant, as if he was the greatest one in the room.
"Certainly quite the colorful cast... i'm Cesus, and before you ask, no, I don't know anything about EXEC or whatever his name is, and no, I won't elaborate on why I have a teapot as my head." The robot already cleared questions before they were asked.
After their introductions, EXEC got in front of them all. "Then let us get our roles, yes? You, bucket brute, you will take hits. Teapot thing, I don't know what you do, but you'll be at the frontlines too. I will of course be at the back and give commands, since I don't want to dirty my hands. And the idiot... just don't let him touch anything."
"Didn't even care to listen to our introductions at all, good to know." Cesus already knew this was going to be a great adventure.
"No fair! I wanna fight too! I can slash people with my sick flame sword!!" Turking flailed on the floor like a baby.
"You? A leader? Hah!" Doombringer sneered, hefting his hammer until it blocked the light. "With what, some random gadgets you probably didn't even make?" He smashed his hammer to the ground, leaving a small crater. "What leads a group is powerful leader! Not some scientist that's overdependent on toys!"
EXEC didn't even flinch. "Hmph. It's not just some toys. It's state of the art weapons you will never be able to comprehend!" He produced a sleek, metallic raygun from his coat. "This is Piercer X.02! It'll pierce through that pathetic armour of yours and paralyze you instantly. And of course, I built it myself!"
He turned around as if disgusted by Doombringer. "Not to mention... this cavern could be filled with traps all around you, but you wouldn't even notice. But thanks to my drones and my intelligence, that won't be true anymore. Further to that, what of strategies? Formations? You'll be swinging that hammer like a bumbling fool!"
Doombringer took a heavy step forward, his armored form looming over the scientist. "Oh, you think you're so high and mighty, huh? Then prove it! Fight me! I'll shatter that crown before your finger even finds the trigger!"
"Ah, the classic resort to violence," EXEC sighed, as if bored. "But very well. I do wish to see the look on your face when you're defeated."
Cesus facepalmed, and tried to get inbetween them. "Oh come on! Not even an hour in and we're infighting? At least try to be civil!" He says with an exasperated tone.
"SHUT UP! WE WILL SETTLE THIS HERE AND NOW!" Doombringer shouted at Cesus.
Although, the robot was undeterred. "I know you both want to lead, but maybe decide who gets to do that after we get to a safe place?!"
"Let's go!! Fight, fight! Whoever wins gets turkey! Wait, turkey?! I have to join!"
Turking immediately jumped in, wanting to fight to get turkey, even though he's the one that suggested it.
Suddenly, a ringing voice could be heard from EXEC's coat. He took out his tablet, and it's showing a warning. "Well, looks like my drones are picking up something... looks like a horde of bugs is coming our way."
Turking's face immediately paled. His smile turned into scaredy frown. "B-bugs?! Like those many legged, gross things? No way! I'm getting out of here!" He immediately ran away, stumbling a few times, and got out through one of the openings.
Sounds of skittering, and the smell of mildew could be sensed from a distance. Suddenly, Turking was seen running back, and behind him... the horde. "AAAAAHHH! TURNS OUT THEY WERE COMING THIS WAY!!"
Cesus saw his chance. "Perfect! How about we settle this with a real test? Whoever kills the most of those things gets to lead."
Doombringer finally wrenched his glare from EXEC to the skittering horde. A wide, brutal grin spread across his visible mouth. "Hahaha! Alright then! I've been itching to smash something since I came here. I'll show you why I should be the one who leads!" He threw his hammer to the horde, then, with one mighty spring, got to the hammer and smashed the bugs, spilling green blood all over.
EXEC snorted, thinking he has won already. "A contest, hmm? My weapons needed a firing test anyways." EXEC then retrieved his drones by turning them back into a cube. Then, he threw it to the ground again. This time, it unfolds into a small, humanoid robot with two chain guns as it's hands. "Terminator Mk. 2 Mini! Eliminate those bugs!"
"AFFIRMATIVE." The robot shot at the horde of bugs, and an occasional rocket salvo from it's back. It's efficiently killing the bugs one by one.
Turking tried to run again, but Cesus held him by the robes. "Where do you think you're going? Winner gets turkey, you know?"
Turking immediately turned back around to the horde. "TURKEY?! I MUST FIGHT!!" Though, he was fighting with his eyes closed, and he was slashing wildly and aimlessly. "As long as I don't look, I don't have to see the horrors! Great idea, me!!" Even so, he was actually killing plenty of them.
Cesus was baffled. He didn't think it would be that easy. "...no matter, as long as he fights. Now then, I should also join in." He took his gravity hammer, and repelled the horde's approach. He summoned teapots to crush the bugs, then, in a single leap, he got impossibly high, and came down like a meteor, obliterating any unfortunate bugs in the radius.
The swarm began to thin out, and EXEC began calculating the amount of kills each of the members had with his tablet. Slowly, his brows began to furrow as he processed the information. "What in tarnation...?"
Killing the final bug, Doombringer looked at EXEC with a victorious look on his face. He thinks he has already won. "So! That means I get to be the leader, am I right? I killed the most out of you all!"
Cesus patted Doombringer on the shoulder. "We can't be so sure yet, Doombringer. EXEC! What does it show there?"
EXEC announced the results. "Cesus got 51 kills,"
"Not bad. Could do better." He is pondering what to improve...
EXEC immediately continued "I got 71 kills and Doombringer got 75 ki-"
Doombringer burst into a bolsterous laugh, interrupting EXEC's announcements. "Then that must mean I get to lead, am I right?! First order of command, go-"
EXEC suddenly interjected. "Not at all. Turking here... got 76 kills."
Doombringer could feel his jaw hit the floor. He can't believe that idiot won the contest! "So you're saying... that damn turkey loving idiot gets to lead, rather THAN ME?!?!"
Cesus is equally shocked, and immediately tried to make sense of it, wandering around the room thinking of a cause. "I don't understand, how is he able to get 76 kills? This is not going how it was supposed to go..."
What about Turking? He was ecstatic. He finally got turkey! Or at least that's what he thinks. "Yay! Where is the turkey? I want the turkey now!!"
"Look at him! He doesn't even care about leading! He's probably thinking about turkey, more turkey and even more turkey!" Doombringer is pointing at him like he killed his family. "Look... how about we just... ignore him and choose someone else... someone like me!"
"No. Way." EXEC didn't even look up from his tablet. "If you lead, you'll lead us to our doom. If anything, I should be the one who leads! Information gathering, strategies, weapons, I have it all!"
Cesus sighed, plumes of steam jetting from his spout. "This is never going to end, is it?
"I agree." An ethereal voice rang out from above.
All four of them froze. Cesus stepped back, Doombringer and EXEC snapped their gazes upward.
There, hovering at the roof of the cave, was an angel. Or something close to it. They all immediately got tense.
Cesus was the first to break the silence, by asking a question. "Who are you? Why are you here?"
"Relax, will you? I'm Gabriel, messenger of god. And you're all here for one thing..." The angel paused for dramatic effect, "To kill the demon lord."
"Demon... lord?" Cesus is confused. "You mean Satan? How are we going to kill Satan? Or Lucifer? Or whatever you call them here..."
"Wait... is this one of those plots in animes my assistant usually watches?" EXEC mused, remembering his assistant in his previous world.
Gabriel laughed, a sound like bells chiming. "Hahahaha! I didn't think you'd believe me! For you, construct, no, you won't be killing any demon lord. And for you scientist, it's... something similar. The reason you're all here is because you're too advanced for your worlds."
Doombringer stomped to the angel, he looks like he'd fly if it meant bashing him. "Advanced!? That's it?! What about my subjects?! What will they do without me?!"
"They'll sort it out. They needed a new emperor anyways." He waved Doombringer off dismissively.
Doombringer clenched his hammer hard. "I swear when you get down here fucking i'll rip those wings off your back!"