She wouldn't just let herself into my apartment after everything.
"Ooh, you're back."
She muttered, scratching the back of her head, a sheepish smile on her face. "I was just making some food."
What the fuck is wrong with her.
My heart was threatening to break free from its cage. I took a long breath, closing my eyes. I needed all the strength I could get to deal with her.
I let out a dry chuckle, shaking my head.
"Sandy," I paused, swallowing hard, trying to find something appropriate to say next, but, "what the fuck are you doing in my apartment."
My voice was low, calm, but each word came out dragged.
"Jolls, I... I... I..." The sheepish smile was now gone, eyes watery, brows furrowed.
"Wait," I cut her off, my voice very calm. I let out a long breath, running a hand over my face. "I don't wanna hear it. Just finish whatever you were doing and leave."
I turned, walking to my room.
"Jolls!" She choked out. My breathing was catching up on me.
Didn't I already have enough today to come home to this. I need a break from everything. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. To when I didn't have anyone. I would get lonely, but never hurt like this.
I was starting to think I'm cursed. I was never happy. My life was only pain after pain. I never seemed to get a break.
"W... wait. I'm sorry." Sandy was now hugging me from behind. "I'm sorry, Jolls." She added, sniffling.
I took a deep breath, carefully pushing her from me, but she didn't budge. She stayed clinging to me. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath.
"Not today, not today, Sandy." I whispered, putting my hands on hers. I missed her. More than I could ever admit. Even after everything. Even after acting like it didn't bother me. It did.
I wanted to turn and pull her into a hug and tell her it's okay. That I didn't care about everything that happened. That I was just happy she was here.
But I'd be lying. I cared about what happened. I wanted answers. No, I needed answers. I wanted to know what I did to deserve her wrath. Why I became a stranger when she had always claimed I was her best friend.
"When then. I can't stay another second from you. I miss you, Jolls." Her hands tightened around me. "It's killing me, Jolls."
I swallowed hard, letting go of her hands. "Just not today. You should go home."
I pulled myself away, and this time she let go.
"I'm not leaving," she paused. "Not until I fix things."
I ignored her, getting in my room and closing the door behind me. I knew there was no convincing Sandy on something when her mind was already made up.
I stripped naked as soon as I placed my bag on my bed, the chilly atmosphere hitting my body. I sucked in a breath, getting in the shower, setting the water to hot. I wanted the water to burn on my skin, feel the tiny pain.
I shuddered under the dripping shower till my body adjusted to the temperature. I was now enjoying the hot shower, letting my worry drift away with every drop that landed on me.
Eventually, everything that was in my head and my surroundings disappeared. Only one thought was in my head. Sam. Her curved body. The way her shorts teasingly revealed her body. Those full pink lips that were just swollen weeks ago in my living room from my biting on them.
I instinctively closed my eyes, letting the feeling rush through me. I wanted more of that body of hers. Touch every inch of her. Suck everything and everywhere my mouth could reach.
I felt a heat between my thighs.
"Jolls!" A banging on my door, followed by my name, brought me back to reality. I shot my eyes open, bringing my hand back to my side. The heat never left.
"Shit!" I murmured. What the hell is wrong with me. Sandy is in the other room.
"Jolls! Are you okay!" I bit my lower lip, never letting any sound out of my mouth. "You've been in there for long."
I ran a hand over my face, drying it only to be wet again. "I'm fine." I shouted through the running water.
"Okay," she said, and just as I heard her retreating steps, I murmured to myself, frustrated,
"Just need to get laid soon."
"What!" Sandy shouted, her steps coming to a stop.
"Nothing!" I shouted, right before turning the shower off and wrapping myself in a towel. I stepped out just as the door to my room clicked shut.
"So much for calming down." I blurted out, rubbing the towel on my body. I put on my pajamas, getting in bed, phone in hand. There is no way I was getting out of this room to go and listen to Sandy apologize or, worse, act like everything was fine.
I lit the screen only to find a message notification. I unlocked the phone, going directly to my texts, hoping it was Sam. These past two weeks, my phone had been awfully close to me, with every text read almost immediately after it was sent.
"Ugh!" I groaned, throwing my phone to the other side of the bed. It wasn't Sam. It was the kid from school, sending me the party's location, time, and letting me know his name. Anthony.
"Dinner's ready," Sandy called from the other room. My nostrils were suddenly attacked by the smell of freshly cooked food. I was almost sure it was mac and cheese. I had been too distracted to even smell the food earlier.
"Not hungry," I said, loud enough for her to hear. As if my stomach heard me, it growled in protest. I placed my hand on it, afraid Sandy might hear.
The place went quiet for a while, then the front door opened. I let out a sigh, relieved she finally left, but there was also this heavy feeling in my chest. I didn't know what I was expecting when I had clearly told her to leave.
But then I didn't hear the door shut. I wondered what was happening. Just as I was about to get up and see what was going on, I heard voices at the door. I froze in place. One was Sandy's, the other I didn't recognize. Who could it be?
After exchanging some words that I didn't hear, Sandy's voice cut through the air.
"Sam, someone's here to see you!"